Pregnancy After Miscarriage Part VIII - Knicker Checkers and Pad Patrollers welcome

[YouKnowNothingoftheCrunch]

Is that ok?

Daisy, congrats, she's lovely!

Scarlotti, in answer to your question about hospital stay - around here, they boot you out as soon as possible unless you've had a section or there's something wrong with the baby. A friend of mine laboured all night and delivered in the early morning, and they said 'Right, we're very busy, we'll have you discharged by noon.' When she objected - she has two toddlers at home, and wanted a night in hospital to recover and spend time with the newborn - she got told she was being very selfish. So, erm, I wouldn't plan on a long stay! (Personally, I don't find being left with sulky overworked midwives who never want to answer the buzzer that much fun anyway - went home to where people were happy to fetch my baby for me and help me to the bathroom!)

And oh yes, you had to 'room in' with baby, even if you were desperate for sleep as it was 'better for mum and baby both'. Am not actually convinced that it's better for desperately exhausted mums to be left in sole charge of their newborns sans sleep, I think it's an NHS cost-cutting measure. DS was very quiet and I had a private room, but I could hear all the babies on the ward yelling their heads off all night long.

Hi everyone, glad to see everyone doing well tattifer wondered where you were.... so sorry, you may have read its the same for me too, horrid, went for miracle scan on monday at 2. but no miracle....had procedure later that day. Wasnt too bad, feeling better today, bought an ovulation kit yesterday.....dont even know when its safe to try again....also dont know if I could go through this again...let me know how you are tattifer x I'm still going to keep an eye on this thread, good luck everyone x

jasmaxxy - so sorry you didn't get your miracle. Take care of yourself. Medically I believe it's safe to try again as soon as you want, but give yourself and dh all the time you need. As you've probably read on here, there's a tendency to fret about everything and nothing and to keep yourself emotionally distant when you do get pregnant again, so give yourself space to get over your loss first. (Not that I'm saying you shouldn't try to get pregnant straight away if that's what you want.)

daisy that is such fantastic news! Welcome Maya!

Still haven't caught up with the thread, am just about keeping food down now and finally out of bed, but still feel terrible.

I've asked H to move out again, his comment? "You are entirely entitled to feel the way you do, be it hurt, sad, angry, disappointed. I have let you down terribly... BUT... you are focusing too much on the negatives and are hormonal and irrational and therefore cannot be trusted to make rational decisions. I don't think you've thought about the DCs in this at all. So I don't think I should go."

The fact that he's left half his stuff here (including necessities like his mobile charger and coat) doesn't bode well. Bit scared about what I'm going to have to deal with tonight.

I will catch up again with this thread at some point and offer some more individual attention (bad Crunch) but today I just wanted to let tattifer know I'm still thinking about her. Tat you have offered so much support and laughter in your too-short time here, and I wish you were staying longer this time. I wish there was something I could say to make it easier. But that's the crapness of it all. I hope that you give yourself time and space and lots of chocolate. x

Crunchie, I'm a bit cross on your behalf - you may well be a bit hormonal, but it's not as if you haven't given this a lot of long, hard thought. Pregnancy does not rob women of all ability to think logically about their relationships.

Good luck for tonight...

Thanks Tam, it's part of trying to get the focus of blame off him and onto me. He was really going for it, accusing me of not having thought of the DCs in all of this was rather flabbergasting.

I've no doubt hormones are not helping me cope with my feelings, but I equally have no doubt that my feelings are genuine and based on reality.

I'm not certain but I think I might be spotting slightly. Could be a show. I wouldn't be at all surprised if baby is desperate to get the hell out of this wreck that is my body.

Hello ladies!

Sorry for the abscence, i was a little, erm, occupied!

Amy Florence arrived on Saturday April 4th at 6.33 am weighing 7lb 10 oz. The labour was "interesting" in that things started on Wednesday and went on... and on... What a way to spend your wedding anniversary!

Anyway, when i'm not holding a tiny bum in one hand i'll give gory details!! She's currently sleeping on my chest. Awww

Just wanted to say though a massive thankyou to everyone on this thread for all the support right back to October 2007 when i had my mmc. I will stick around if i may and try and help if i can.

bee Hurray! Welcome to Amy! Sounds like a long and worthy slog bringing her into the world

Please stick around. I never want anyone to leave

Grinningbee !!!!!!!!!!

Congratulations on the arrival of little Amy! Wow, what a marathon! Please post more details when you can, but for now enjoy holding that cute little bum!!!!

You have made my day missus, was having quite a wobbly one up to now. Should know better but have been reading other threads which are quite traumatic. Will stick with all you lovely lot on here in future.

Aww, grinningbee, congratulations on Amy's birth, and well done on your marathon labour. I love that bum-in-hand chest-sleeping thing. It's the best

Can I second grinning's thanks to you all, too? Too dazed to say it yesterday. And there's no way I'm disappearing until I've seen current bumps safely into the world.

crunchie - at your DH. Don't have anything wise to say about it, but un-mumsnetty to you anyway.

Crunchie You're back I am pleased you're feeling a little better but i am bunny ears angry at your DH urrrh helloo.. anyway, I hope that it doesnt go too badly when he comes home tonight... big huggggs... and pleased you're well enough to post.

Jasmaxxy I am so sorry that you didnt get your miracle on Monday, I really hope we have you back when you're ready. Have you spoken to anyone about when you should be able to start trying again (physically, obviously its only up to you when you begin emotionally)

Grinningbee how lovely was your post? now, I think little Amy was a little bit tooooo comfy in your tum.

Daisyj & Grinningbee I know this sounds silly and SO OTT (i always said i wouldnt be OTT preggers lady) but what you've both done by "just" having your little babies has given me so much hope.. I am really pleased you'll both be trying to stick around! After being on this thread since my 6th week of pregnancy (now 21 weeks almost) I can say for sure that there has been no greater help, no kinder words and no better advice than that given by the ladies here.

I am off now to stop being emotional preggers lady Congrats again to our new mummys Daisy and Grinning xx

Phew ! Am glad Grinningbee came and spilled the beans... I was having trouble trying to keep my lips sealed. Congrats again on Amy and what a fabulous taste in middle names

Crunch - stay strong...

Have had a house load for lunch and DD1 and her chums have trashed my house, the little horrors darlings so must tidy it up whilst DD2 snoozes

hey guys. Been crampy from the start and keep thinking will come on - had some spotting last week but then nothing till last night and today - sorry if tmi but spotted some browny stuff lsat night and again today - do I need to worry - getting intermitent pains but not really sure whether to go straight to docs or whehter they will just take the attitude of my doc on tues and tell me a miscarriage will happen if it happens and i should wait and see?

tattifer just catching up and was so sorry to see your sad news. Life just ain't fair. Hope to see you back on this thread soon. I was back 1 cycle /6 weeks after my EPRC last July so don't give up. Have a nice glass or five of chilled white wine and let your DH take care of you. xxx

daisyj and grinning WELL DONE on your baby girls. What lovely news. After tattifers sad loss, its heartening to hear that there are postive outcomes for those of us who have had past mcs. Daisy, I remember you well from MC avengers last summer so am really delighted to hear your news.

I am hoping that I'm not too far behind you both, 3 1/2 weeks to go!

crunch grr on your behalf at your (d)H.It must feel a bit like your in limbo at bit whilst waiting for the new one to arrive. How on earth do you deal with your marital issues whilst heavily pregnant??? You have my respect, girlfriend, as you seem to hold it together pretty damn well in all the circumstances.

crunch hope you don't think I'm interfering, but having had many ups and downs with my DH, I can only say, that some men really don't grow up, they really are quite happy for us to look after everything, and somehow, the minute we dont seem to be coping, or really put the emotional onus on them , its like these really strong looking creatures crumble, in the past when I have really wanted my DH to'step up',....he's done the opposite and really let me down. I've told him to leave in the past....and guess what? he did!Really I just wanted him to fight for us, and he went away and had a really good 'bad' time. And then, came back because I instigated it, and it was him who felt really wanted, I don't know if I'm making any sense here, but some men like I say, have to be guided all the way. Whatever happens, make sure its what you really want, because I have really caused me and my children pain in the past, and I never really wanted us to be over x

grinningbee YAY! Well DONE! Welcome Amy!

jasmaxxy Pleased to hear from you. I was told I was free to try again after my next period (we didn't try again for 3 years though so can't report on how that went!)

Crunch I am so sorry that you have all this extra stress on you at the moment. Let us know how you got on last night.

Prettyfly - i have been really crampy from 4 weeks and had some spotting and brown discharge around that time too. Having had two previous mc totally panicked that i'd mc again. Went to EPU yesterday (i'm now 6+4) which was trully terrifying as my only experience of being there has been negative. To our complete shock and delight we had a wee sticky bean with a strong heartbeat.The midwife said the bleeding was probably implanation (thanks sydneysuze - you were right) and the pains were normal and that many women have cramping (often quite severe) throughout their pg. So what i'm saying is try (easier said than done i know) not to panic and try to keep some hope in your mind which is what the lovely ladies on this thread have certainly done for me.

Hello everyone

Thanks for all the lovely and supportive comments.

Gentle H didn't come around last night afterall, not heard from him at all in fact. He's supposed to be taking the boys out today, but no idea if he'll be coming or not (I love the way the hmm looks at the ears )

On the positive side had a lovely home visit with my MW who was so positive and lovely about my home waterbirth that I'm feeling very about the whole thing again!

jasmaxxy not interfering at all Your dh sounds very like my H under normal circumstances. He's been suffering from mental illness for the past year and a half which has made him steadily more emotionally abusive and impossible to be around. I still hope he will get better and the old (annoying and irresponsible) him comes back. But he can't do it here anymore How are you doing? I hope your dh is spoiling you rotten x

Prettyfly cramping is normal as long as it isn't regular and increasing (so a bit like contractions). It is hard not to be worried about every twinge, but keep posting. I hate that "well if it happens it happens" attitude that you get from so many GPs - where is the compassion? Makes me it's so unhelpful.

Ladyhelen thanks. Just looking forward to spending a quiet day with my boys tomorrow ( it's my Birthday) watching Doctor Who and doing nothing.

Wheely keep wanting to thank you again for the parcel, it was a little ray of sunshine

ashleigh I love the idea of being bunny ears angry

daisy and bee hope your little 'uns are being angels x

Thanks Guys - just trying to keep my mind off it at the moment. Cruch glad that you are sounding positive even tho the other half is being a bit of a git.

Thanks pretty, it's tough keeping all your worries under control. Do you have a scan booked yet?

No, not yet. Thinking about heading over to epu a little later today. Still getting really bad cramping and some spotting but strong test positive so thinking about just getting checked out. Have you already had a scan. My last one was so awful tbh I am a bit nervous about it.

pretty I'm due in 2 weeks, but had two scans before 12 weeks. I was absolutely terrified at them both and was utterly convinced that it was already too late; so much so that I couldn't let it sink in for ages.

I would recommend getting checked out. There's nothing more frustrating than that waiting. I'm sorry your last one was so awful. It's so hard. But there are a lot of ladies on here who had spotting and cramping and have gone on to be fine. It would be nice if our bodies could not torture us with symptoms that have no definite origin

crunch didn't know about the mental illness sorry....makes things even harder for you, went through that also,including a suicide attempt, even though half hearted,it came from him at a time when I had decided I could take no more,and was very firm with him, then he did that....he even had me banned from the hospital! And we still got back together, I had to back down, not be hard, and then he got strong and we got back to normal, but he cannot handle it when I cant cope! He is much better now though, and although it sounds bad - and it certainly has been, its ok now! But self preservation kicks in doesnt it, and why should everything be about your DH, when everything should be about you and your new impending LO, you sound strong, so enjoy your birthday, I'll be thinking of you x