Pregnancy After Miscarriage Part VIII - Knicker Checkers and Pad Patrollers welcome

[YouKnowNothingoftheCrunch]

Is that ok?

sussex welcome back old buddy, it's great to 'see' you here again. Right def sticky +ve vibes - 4th time is the new 3rd time lucky don't you know!!!

herb moisture has definately varied throughout. Discharge apparently very common in pg. Just remember to keep doing your pelvic floor exercises >>

Maybe we should all siggy our posts with 'pelvic floor'. Read a page of the thread, and voila, you've done a set already.

Sussex, good luck - how far gone are you now?

Tamlin absolutely wonderful news - well done!

Ash I'll keep in touch, trying to have nice family weekend, not looking forward to monday, DH thinks there will be a miracle at the scan.....he hates it when I'm negative..its just that 'i know' if you know what I mean

Not been on for a while so sorry not to check everyone.

crunch stay strong. He may have just been having (another) bad day.

sussex WELCOME BACK!!! So pleased to see you here again. Hoping this time you'll be sticking around for at least 40 weeks.

Congrats to those with positive scans and good vibes to those with scans coming up.

My ML "officially" starts on Monday. I don't think its really sunk in yet that this baby will be arriving NEXT MONTH. Am now 35 + 5 and we still don't have any names sorted. The nursery is half painted. The cot needs putting up and my hospital bag is only half packed. I think part of me is still in disbelief that I have made it this far after 3 mcs. Obviously I can feel the baby squirming and kicking me most of the day, but I'm not sure that I actually believe that he or she will arrive safe and sound.

SUSSEX YAAAAAAAY!!!!!! !! Hello my old friend! No more hanging around in duty free for us, no sir-eee, we're on the plane and ready to rock & roll!!

sussex just thought I msy have name changed since you were last here, it's Kate btw!

Hello, could i tentatively join you ladies??
I just got a BFP yesterday, the first month of TTC after my missed miscarriage and ERPC in Feb. I was 8 weeks when we discovered there was a problem last time and 11 weeks when i actually miscarried then a week later still needed an ERPC. It was very traumatic and i was devastated and still cry now. I have only known about this pregnancy for less than 24 hours but swing from ecstatic to terrified. I have so much running through my head - do i go to the gp asap or wait a while, do i ask for an early scan or not, it can't possibly happen to us again, but then of course its perfectly possible. How do you cope with such mixed emotions? is it possible to enjoy pregnancy after miscarriage?? Look forward to getting to know people who understand what i am going through.

Hi fairywing , the ladies on here are all very nice i dont message that often but i always read the linkand it does give me a good giggle sometimes
I'm about 5/6 weeks after one dd and 2mc's and this pregnany has not been celebrated like i would like and we are still very cautious even tho i had an early scan yesterday and everything is fine .
i dont think pregnancy can ever be the same once you've lost
i went for an early scan for reassurane coz i had an empty sac and a chemical mc so in my eyes now i've got this far neither of those has happened so i should be fine well thats what i'm telling myself anyway !
if you think an early scan will help you relax then arrange one ,
sorry for for mc but just keep thinking this is a new pregnancy and you have just as good a chance as any of taking your baby home in 9 months

Can I tentatively join too?? I had two miscarriages last year (at 8 weeks and 6 weeks). Had all the tests done - nothing identified. told just bad luck I'm now pregnant again 5 weeks 5 days and just feeling so anxious particularly as i've had quite a bit of cramping on and off and some brown spotting at 4 weeks. I've got a scan on thursday which feels like forever away

Fairywing - sorry for your mc . Everyone deals with subsequent pg differently. i have to say after my first mc i really didn't expect it to happen again whereas with this pregancy i am totally expecting it but don't know if that is just me psychologically preparing myself for the worst so that it won't be so bad if it does happen even though it actually wouldn't make it any easier at all!! the mind is a funny thing. You should definetly request an early scan and check in with your GP.

tink - congrats on your scan . Counting down the days till mine on thurs.

Wow! Welcome to all the newbies and old friends returning! Wishing you all a long and sticky stay with us.

Just a quick post from me to say Grinningbee hope all's going ok and hope we will have a new name to add to the list of babies very soon! Am sure you must be off 'giving light' to your new baby as they say in Spanish (lovely hey?) right now

prettyfly welcome and good luck! we have all been there, I?ve found this forum so helpful.

ladyhelenatealltheeggs wishing you a good start to maternity leave. Disbelief is so natural with what you?ve been through. Hope you get some happy and relaxing times in before lo arrives.

welcome fairywing. sounds like 2009 has been a rough ride so far. Yes it is possible to enjoy pregnancy, I think after mc there is always a worry somewhere in your mind but you become quite practised at holding hope and worry together in time.

tink08 I like what you said about ?this is a new pregnancy with just as good a chance of any? ? wise words indeed!

welcome grace09 and sending you vibes as you await your Thursday scan.

jasmaxxy how is the weekend going? Have been thinking of you and hope all goes smoothly tomorrow.

Now for me I have had a terrible weepy weekend, at nearly 20 weeks I am feeling safer but lots of people around me seem to think we are now in "dead cert" territory and make free to talk babies & pregnancy, offer tips, pass on baby stuff, recommend baby stuff, etc. I am still getting used to the idea of pregnancy and babies being a happy subject and I find it all a bit overwhelming at times, plus all the chat about the new one sometimes seems disrespectful to the lost one?

I couldn't make sense of it all and then opened the paper and there was this wonderful article about neonatal death & stillbirth that summed up so many feelings, I cried even more but this time with relief that other people understand. will see if I can link to it.

Can you tell by my mood that I have my anomaly scan tomorrow? I haven't told a soul in RL about from DH. Everyone seems to be asking "When will we know the sex of this baby then?" and I know it's because they are interested but I feel like screaming "CAN WE JUST CHECK ITS HEART IS BEATING FIRST FFS??!" Hence the secrecy. I hate being secretive but I want some time to come to terms with whatever the scan says, rather than knowing that I have 15 members of the family to ring round and reassure.

• meant to say - haven't told a soul about it in RL apart from DH.

And I found a link to the article - it's not about miscarriage but I think the feelings are the same.

www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2009/apr/05/elizabeth-mccracken-infant-death

Gentle weekend is ok, trying hard for the kids to be cheerful, its obviously not working too well, as I'm now not speaking to DH after he called me a miserable cow twice, insensitive git, he's really got on my nerves today, not used to having him around because he's always working, but he's taken 9 days off for holiday, I may end up killing him.......But enough about me, good luck for tomorrow, don't feel guilty about this LO, you deserve some happiness after what you've been through x

Could I sort of lurk in the background..... Bit nervous to formally join but at the same time desperate to ask 10 billion questions. Like (TMI moment coming lookaway now if feeling nauseous) does anyone else have a green discharge (and I er don't mean from the nose!).

Hi-just wanted to say thanks for the replies to my post. I am trying to stay positive but its so hard to stop thinking sometimes. Good to know that there are others who understand what we are going through.

lurking without time to post much in a postnatal fashion - wanted to say congrats to sussex and welcome back aboard

scotlass good luck in the caravan

ladyhelen I still feel disbelief about baby, even though he's nearly 3 weeks old now, maybe it will have sunk in by the time he's ready to leave home? I thought we'd never get there after 4 pregnancy losses, setting out his change mat and putting sheets on the cot before going in for c/s felt really odd.

Thinking of all of you in the difficult early weeks, I found this thread a big help and also Prof Reagans book on miscarriage - as she says even for recurrent m/c ladies, your chance with each pg is better than 50/50 that it will be viable (unless you have undiagnosed antiphospholipid syndrome), this gave me the strength to try again. Hoping for good outcomes for you all this time.

Will try to post some photos of Seth soon

Hello everyone. I'm 23 weeks today! - never thought I'd get this far.

Jasmaxxy sorry yesterday wasn't great for you, hope today goes smoothly

Tamlin fab news, well done!

Fairywing I think everyone after having ahd a miscarriage has a degree of holding back from really enjoying the next pregnancy - it's a case of one step at a time and there's no reason why this one shouldn't be perfectly OK. Definitely ask for an early scan though, they saved my sanity!

Gentle good luck with the scan, hope you get a nice sonographer who talks to you as though you're an intelligent adult and explains everything to you, I think it really makes a difference. I saw that article in the paper as well - was NOT pleased. Just when I'd got to the point of thinking everything would probably be OK and relaxing, I'm reminded that things can go wrong right to the very last minute. Cheers, thanks very much for that I thought as I hurled the paper across the sitting room in a fit of hormonal-ness

Good morning to all.

Just a quick post to say... grinningbee where are youuu??! with the LO i hope other wise i think you may throw something at me through Mumsnet!!

Good luck to gentle and lola who i think both have scans today.. let us know how you get on.

Jasmaxxy Let us know how you get on today too, I will be thinking about you...

Hello to newbies, will try and post a longer message a bit later on, but for now hope everyone has a lovely day xx

just passing through and saw som....Congratualtions on your LO tsom

also congrats to sussex and good to see your name back here . Fingers and toes all crossed for you.

I hope everyone is doing well. this thread is a lifeline

Hello to everyone

Just a quick post (whilst at work!) to wish gentle and lola good scans today. Also to send my thoughts to jasmaxxy for today, will be thinking of you.

Fairywing I'm not allowing myself to enjoy this pregnancy yet, even though we've now had 2 scans and the consultant told us that's as good a guarantee as we'll get as the last one was at 8+3 and growth was bang on with a strong heartbeat. It's self preservation I'm sure - if I don't accept it, then I don't bond and start to think it's going to happen - that way when it goes wrong I'm protected. Although we all know that it's just not that simple.
Just relax and allow yourself to feel, or not feel, whatever you like.

Wills how far gone are you?

crunchie where are you? Hope you're doing ok.

Fairywing - I only occasionally relax in this pregnancy, and I'm 28 weeks now! Current obsession is stillbirth or neonatal death, as in that feature mentioned earlier. I knew I shouldn't have read it...

Just how common is late pregnancy loss? Not very, I know, just need a comforting statistic.

I've had five miscarriages, and the only way I could get through this one sane was thinking of it as a fresh start, unconnected with all the others. And, indeed, it has been! Each new pregnancy is a new chance. Easier said than remembered...

Hi All

Thought I'd pop in and say hello0 - haven't been keeping up very well.

Hoorah for al the new joiners (and re-joiners, glad to see you back Sussex). For those who don't feel 'safe' - I worried about my prgnancy all the way through. I was even convinced something would go wrong when I was sitting being prepped for my c-sec. Mind you, I think it just sets you up for a life time of worry - I worry aobut both dd's now all the time and I think my Mum still worried about me.....

Crunch - sorry to hear things with DH aren't going well after him coming back. I hope you got the package of birthing bits and pieces.

28 weeks herby - great ! Sorry don't know any stats but it is very unlikely but you know that and people telling you that won't make it any less worrying.

Things are going fine here - dd2 is 4 weeks on thursday . Had a bit of a worry (see told you) last week when she had only put on 2 oz in a week despite seeming to feed a lot. HV coming tomorrow to re-weigh - she has been feeding even more this week so fingers crossed it will make a difference otherwise will have to re-think feeding techniques !

I think there's quite a few of you due in April so I look forward to hearing all the announcments ! Good luck everyone.

Its odd the worry never stops. I'm 7 weeks +4 (but not that I'm counting at all). I've had 4 miscarriages andd 3 children. My first ms was between dd1 and dd2 and I first sat on this thread way back in 2002. Following dd2's birth it took me quite a few years to persaude dh to agree to a third (I'd always longed for 4!). 3 miscarriages later and again I sat on this thread through ds pregancy (2006). DH made me promise no more but I have longed and longed. I really didn't think I would ever have another but this has been a complete out of the blue accident. I'm over the moon, scared shitless and counting every minute/second etc. My dh is furious/angry/resentful but we love each other so he's trying his hardest to smile at me etc. The thing is I daren't mention any of my fears as he's not exactly sympathetic. I've been for blood tests and my hcg levels are going strong. I've also been for a scan where I was treated very badly by the sonographer who reduced me to floods of tears. I'm due for another scan tue 14th. My mum is coming with me (dh not interested yet) to "protect" me from the sonographer.

Evening all

Lola and Gentle didn't you both have anomaly scans today? Really hoping things went alright for you both.

Crunchie you have gone a little quiet - everything ok????

Grinningbee am hoping you are happily home with a brand new baby by now as it has been 4 days since we last heard ..... all fingers crossed for you.

Wills if I were you I would get anything green checked by a midwife - could be infection.

As for me, I'm 17 weeks tomorrow, and sitting in a mind-numbingly dull complex meeting at work today I definitely felt the magic bubbles of my baby moving. Don't think was cake either as it just felt different. And familiar too as I remember what my baby boy felt like last year - oh it's so hard sometimes when everything is poignant and makes me happy for this new baby but sad for the memory of the ones I lost.....

Hello, a flying visit to say all went well with the scan! I am knackered because I've had the worryometer at full volume these last couple of days.

I'm really sorry I linked to the article here, perhaps it was a bit thoughtless of me - I found it so reassuring, not just that the feelings were being expressed but that these two women had each gone on to have 2 babies but didn't think that it might be frightening, too. Genuinely sorry if anyone has been put in a fug after reading it.

Hope everyone's keeping well, I am off now to try and come back down to earth for a couple of days!