Pregnancy After Miscarriage Part VIII - Knicker Checkers and Pad Patrollers welcome

[YouKnowNothingoftheCrunch]

Is that ok?

I'm spotting. I never spotted with DS. This was my first and only symptom with the missed miscarriage.

I think I'm losing this one too, and my husband is in Brighton all day. Will call the docs when they open.

Am just so sad.

Tamlin is there anyone who can be with you? Have you called GP or EPU? It could be nothing, it really could, but I think you should get a scan just in case.

Are you ok?

I'm seeing the GP at 11.40, hopefully she'll just give me a referral and not tell me any bollocks about how spotting and cramping can be perfectly normal. So far my record goes:

Pregnancy 1: no spotting: live baby.
Pregnancy 2: spotting: dead baby.

so you can hopefully forgive me for quietly losing my mind. And no, I can't think of anyone to call, everyone I know is either at work or God help me, pregnant. Don't want to weep all over somebody else's thriving bump, funnily enough.

On the bright side, DS is in heaven - he's sat down in front of the forbidden TV, watching Muppets while his mother ignores him and frantically googles 'repeat miscarriage.'

Tamlin hope you get seen ASAP. As crunchie says try not panic too much just yet, I had spotting and bright red bleeding with this pg and with past history convinced myself it was lost. Still here 37wks later - fingers crossed it's the same for you. It could be cervical erosion. Can you directly refer to EPU? I think you should say you've got abdo pain too so they scan you urgently. It sucks that your hubby is away - can someone else support you?

Oh Tamlin, hate to think of you there alone and worried

Tamlin I am really thinking of you this morning, I hope that 11.40 comes round very quickly and they effing refer you for a scan today!! Just to reiterate what Scotlass and Crunchie have said, although i know its prob not gonna help, try not to panic too much, I had 2 weeks of spotting this pregnancy and red blood & I am 19 weeks pregnant now. Please let us know how it goes at the dr's today and as i said, i'll be thinking of you. xx

Tamlin are you near to Brighton? That's where I am and I self referred to the EPU at Sussex County twice. I've had spotting and am still going now, 2 scans later, so all is not lost even though it might feel that way.
Thinking of you.

Nope, I'm nowhere near! Stuck in Wiltshire. I can self-refer to the drop-in clinic at Bath, but that only runs from 8 am to 9 am (and last time was packed from wall-to-wall) - Swindon wants a doctor's referral.

Ashleighbee fingers crossed for your scan today

Tamlin hope you get scanned today too. Spotting can be nothing although it is always very worrying - I spotted daily for a month with this one and am 16+2 today. Prior to that I had 2 early mcs which began with spotting so like you was thinking the worst. Thinking of you and sending tons of sticky vibes. Agree with Scotlass - try to self refer to EPU if the GP can't get you seen today. I'd ring the midwife if you have a good one, also maybe just drop in to EPU? I did that at 5 weeks with this one and they saw me straight away, even though they said strictly speaking I should have had an appointment.

(((((((((hugs))))))))))))

Tamlin Maybe ask the EPU at swindon how their slots are today so you know when you go to the doc the likely hood of getting a scan today etc.. ask them to hold a slot for you and then you can tell doc you only need them to quickly phone and you've got one...

My EPU doesnt accept self refferal either - really is so stupid the 'post code lottery!'!

xx

Tamlin hope your GP is currently helping you. Just to let you know you're still in my thoughts today, fingers crossed for you x

ash good luck this afternoon. Fingers crossed for you too. Are you going to find out the sex?

Crunchie we know that he's a boy already... I was v.v.v nosy and found out at 16 weeks 4 days.. You must be confuzzled as we discussed lego i think - is Ash confuzzled maybe... but yeah he's a boy.. They dont tell you in my area at your 20 week scan.. and have put in the letter firmly please do not ask the sonographer for confirmation of sex as you will not be told So i suppose i could go in and say 'we're having a boy, please refer to him as he and him not it' ?? Then she miiiiight say 'you're not having boy its girl'... hmmm?

Tamlin Let us know what happens when you get back

xx

Scan for 11.20 tomorrow, which will interfere with crucial conference call husband should be on, apparently. Oh well. Just had the following phone conversation with my dearest of Hs.

DH: Hey, honey, my afternoon meeting in Brighton's been CANCELLED. I guess I could come home if you really want me to, but I have a ton of work to do, so I was thinking of going into the office for the afternoon.

Me: ...

(Our Dashing Husband Hero faces a Terrible Choice between Two Doors! Behind Door Number One, lies the Path Home to a Sadly Changed Shire! But behind Door Number Two lies a Fiery Hellish Pit of Your Sobbing Wife Will Probably Never Forget This, You Arse!)

DH: You know what? I think I'm going to come home and take care of you guys.

(Our Hero Lives To Strut Another Day. Barely.)

Tamlin glad you've got a scan sorted for tomorrow, it's easy for me to say I know but try and not think too much just now, it really could be all right. I'm so glad your DH chose door no 2 and really hope he can rearrange the conference call, you need each other at this time. My DH was 400 miles away when I went for scan after bleeding and my poor friend came instead (she has 2 dc's and never mc'd) - it really wasn't the same as having DH there to be honest.

ash good luck this afternoon, if you get in at the beginning you know it is a boy perhaps they'll bend the rules just this once to confirm?

ash d'oh of course we did pregnancy brain strikes again I've just had it confirmed that LO is definitely a girl. No idea what to do with one of them

Tamlin I am so glad your dh chose the right door. My h hasn't made it to one of my early scans (even for the bad news - he was working in the Middle East at the time ) and it does make it that much harder. Hope he gives you lots of support today.

Glad you'll have a scan Tamlin. Be thinking of you at 11.20.

How is spotting now? Any change in symptoms? (Sorry if too nosy).

You made me lol at description of your DH's doors choice - if only they knew just how close they come to wrecking their own lives on a daily basis! My beloved H is a wildlife cameraman so always threatening to be in the Arctic/up the Amazon/ mid-Pacific at any moment. Luckily so far this time he's been able to be there for 2 of my scans and I do think it means they can understand it all more - fingers crossed you'll be able to get yours in a headlock and down to the EPU with you tomorrow.

Lola am also incredibly angry at your doula, and agree with others that she should not have said this to you. I am being 'doppled' every two weeks at the moment to stop me going round the twist and I think I would cause more problems to my baby by excess adrenaline through anxiety if this was not the case.

I do think it likely that babies can hear the scan and they may not like it, but as someone else posted people with twins and triplets are scanned repeatedly with no ill-effects reported. I also have friends in Thailand and the US who are given a scan at every check-up (so monthly or even more).

Crunchie a girl! How lovely!

Crunchie When did you find out it was a girl? Congratulations.. and you were right!

Tamlin How are things now? I am pleased DH made the right decision...

Well I am back from my scan now, it went swimmingly, was so lovely to see him again... I am grinning from ear to ear.. They wouldnt tell us whether the sex was correct BUT I saw his tinkle with my own eyes.. not umbillical cord as she pointed that out.. He definately liked being seen, he was following the probe around and was flexing at all the right places. We've rewarded ourselves (me and the bump) with chocolate HobNobs.

Thinking of you Tamlin and really hope that your outcome tomorrow is positive.

Sydneysuze Do you have Doppler at home or are you being 'doppled' by MW this often? xx

Tamlin I'm thinking of you and I think your door choice story was priceless! Bless you for giving us a giggle when you're having an uncertain time. Glad DH heard your "..." and made the correct interpretation! All the luck in the world for tomorrow.

Hope ashleighbee is doing alright...

Ooh ashleighbee we crossed posts! How lovely, great news. enjoy your biccies!

Great news ash. Had a scan this morning. The one (d)h forgot.

All fine and head down.

H just got really angry with me Not sure if it's my fault or not. I was sad and cross that he spent last night chatting to his mum on skype rather than being there for me. I know I was prickly and scared (about the scan today), so not much fun to be around.

Apparently I wasn't listening to him when he said he didn't do any of it to hurt me.

He apologised afterwards.

He's just not really interested in the pregnancy (his words), he says he wants to be there for the birth but hasn't even looked at the homeopathic stuff he would be administering (I like the placebo effect ).

I don't want him moving back in to have been a mistake

Sorry this is really self-indulgent. I'm not the one suffering today.

Just felt really sad and part of me wants to shake myself and shout "You are entitled to feel upset and let down that your H hasn't supported you and has made a tough time even harder!" But I'm not convinced it's not my fault, and that my expectations aren't too high.

tamlin wishing you so muck luck for tomorrow x

everyone I'm being re scanned monday at 2,just to re-assure myself of the bad news, then op booked for 5, very sad, but want to get it all over now, so I can get better and start again.

Crunch I'm really sorry, I missed your scan news, that sounds great!
I don't think you're being unreasonable at all FWIW. For a partner to say they're not really interested in a pregnancy - ouch. I know a lot of partners might think that, quietly, but to say it to their pregnant partner? I'd be pretty peeved, too.

jasmaxxy I am thinking of you and I think arranging an op straight after the scan if needed is a good idea. DVDs & chocs out for the weekend, chuck. x

jasmaxxy, make sure you've got a good hot water bottle to keep on your middle (and yes, chocolate is a must.)

If you're stuck for stuff to watch or read, I recommend Austen. She's obsessed with marriage and money, but there are almost no babies and hardly a mention of pregnancy. Brilliant.