Older mums - how did people react when you told them you were pg?

[BonyM]

I found out two weeks ago that I am pg with no.3. Dh and I are very happy (after getting over the initial shock!) but it was unexpected and at 42 I fall well into the "older mother" category.

The only people we have told so far are my good friends that I met when pg with dd2 (who will be 4 in a couple of weeks). They are at least 10 years younger than me and very happy for us, but I am very apprehensive about telling friends who are the same age as me, and my parents. I think they will think we are mad.

I rang to book a private early scan this week and when the secretary asked my date of birth she said "Did you say '66?" in an incredulous tone of voice, and when I said "Yes, I'm an oldey" she remarked that she was 45 and wouldn't want to be doing it at her age.

How have others coped with negative comments?

BonyM I'm pregnant (again after mc in december) with third at 42. The only negative responses were from DH's mum who doesn't approve of more than two children... and from his niece who is 19, on the dole, considers picture suduko an intellectual pastime and just dropped a sprog with boyfriend of er, 9 months...

Did I take their opinions to heart? No no and no

have found this thread really interesting. I'm expecting my 5th this year at 42. i didn't start till i was 33 so have packed them in. i find the older generation (ie my mother and her contemporaries in their 60's) are the most negative and disapproving. they mostly had children in their early 20's and think it's mad/dangerous/wrong to have them so late. mind you, virtually none of them are still with the same husband, so i think whatever the child of an older mother might lose in youthfulness from their parents they may make up for in the security of their home life.

My own mum was the last person to disapprove - she had me at 40. I think she's worried because she had a third child at 42 who died during labour - but she hasn't allowed that to dampen her happiness for us.

On the age thing, when I was in my 20's at Uni, I used to take my sisters two little kids (then a baby and a toddler) out to parks for walks and to give her a break, I remember going to a zoo and having sniggers from people in the ticket line, about teenage mums this and teenage mums that, and look how someone on benefits could afford to go to the zoo....

Even though I was not a single teenage mum it really got me down and I remember being shocked at how hurt I felt - I could not even retort or get the courage to respond.

Now that I am older I simply could not care what misinformed people think, I think as an "older" mum to be I am more able to handle any stupid comments and hopefully kick them into touch.

I love mumsnet, I am only a few weeks pregnant and in my late 30's... and here I am feeling nauseous on a Friday night yet able to log in and check out some threads.
It is still early days but I feel really lucky to be my age and pregnant. I'll be sure to post if I get any silly comments.

My pregnancy is still a secret to all but my nearest and dearest but I have been amazed at
people's reactions to someone I interface with at work, this pregnant lady worked near my desk, at the time was in her mid-30's. When she announced her pregnancy and people asked her if she had fertility treatment, whether or not she had been trying for a long time and one idiot even said under his breath - I didn't think anyone would have sex with her? Oh yes and plenty have taken time to warn her of potential complications...

She works in a male dominated field and is extremely professional and good at what she does and I have noticed that they also started to snigger at her being emotional, truly pathetic and almost professional jealousy coupled with people being worried about their jobs.

Pleased to say that the decent tuned in people at work have picked up it is not on, and all decent humanists (both male and female) in the office provided whatever support they could.... as to me it has certainly woken me up to the fact that once I have my baby I want to be working for a company that values my contribution and skill and that there have got to be plenty of good companies out there that value female contribution.

Ageism is boring, ill informed discrminatory behaviour.

Don't let anyone rain on your parade.