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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Telling friends/relatives the news?

30 replies

chocolatefudge · 15/04/2005 12:23

When are you going to tell everyone the news? i've only told my mum, dad and sister plus Mother in law. With friends i'm not sure when to tell them i might wait till my first scan.

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compo · 15/04/2005 12:25

We didn't tell anyone until the 12 week scan. I've got a few friends/family members who have had problems in the first 12 weeks I didn't think it would be fair to have to ring round telling people bad news. Sorry to sound really gloomy but IMO people should wait until after the 1st scan

Original poster

chocolatefudge · 15/04/2005 12:34

Yes, i think your right i'm worried telling 2 friends as they had miscarriages a month ago one was 12 weeks

I feel like telling everyone now but it's best not too.

OP posts:

katzguk · 15/04/2005 12:35

i was going to tell people at Christmas, (would have been 12 weeks) was going to put scan photo in with christmas cards, but unfourtuneatly i got hyperemesis and had to tell people a lot sooner as we ran out of excuses to cancel events and had to miss my best friends wedding!!

fastasleep · 15/04/2005 12:38

I vomit lots from really early on too, but decided this time to tell everyone pretty much straight away as if I'd had a m/c then I'd have told everyone about it no doubt iyswim... last time I waited about 2 months to tell family, but I didn't have any friends to tell - aww!

serenity · 15/04/2005 12:47

I've always told everyone pretty much straight away, including work as it can be quite physical.

I had a M/c between DS2 and DD and I was still glad everyone knew. It wasn't something I wanted to hide, I didn't want to make up excuses as to why I was feeling so bad, everyone was able to give me support and help me through it.

flamesparrow · 15/04/2005 12:47

That was what I was gonna say f/a... Pretty much everyone I would be telling would also be told if I miscarried, so it is just when I want to share the news rather than at a certain date.

fastasleep · 15/04/2005 12:52

Aww FS we're so alike lol

Toothache · 15/04/2005 13:01

CF - With ds I told my friends before I told DH!! He went to work (late shift) and I was going on a night out. Thought I'd do a pg test before I went out on a bender... jeee-ust in case. When it was +ve I phoned all my friends!! Then went to DH's work and told him there. I waited until the GP confirmed it before I told my parents.

Sallie · 15/04/2005 13:12

no 3 - we told some people early like my parents and work. Others - like dh's family who weren't going to be that chuffed, we didn't tell until 16 weeks.

Xena · 15/04/2005 13:18

I'm about 8 or 9 weeks and we have told DS (7) and told him to keep it a secret esp from DD1 (DD2 to young) my sister and the couple we went on holiday with as I had ms and at breakfast it was obvious. With the other 3 we told people almost straight away so I think that my parents will be quite suprised when we tell them.But in DH's family my sil had a mc and hasn't concieved since (it was 18mths ago) so I hope that she has by the time we tell them we are going to wait as long as poss. Also I think that if we wait to tell DD1 then she won't have to wait as long for the arrival IYSWIM

kid · 15/04/2005 14:56

I told everyone the instant the test showed postive.
How can people keep it a secret, I swear it was written all over my face!

ChaCha · 15/04/2005 16:20

I told DH, both our parents and my best friend when i got a + pg test (I was almost 2 weeks late).
Had a scan at 5 and a half weeks through which we saw the heartbeat and was told everything was so far so good, so I told work then as i wasn't too well. Now the world and his wife knows to be honest, good news travels fast.

I'd like to think that with all the hugs and congrats that there would be similar support if anything went wrong esp at work.

Congrats to you all x

busyalexsmummy · 15/04/2005 16:55

I've told a few select friends,but are leaving telling the in laws till I start to show whenever that may be, as they probably wont be that impressed.(one small child already, both young and no car-such bad, bad parents)

scully · 19/04/2005 10:44

I'm due 17/12 & we told 1 couple who are close friends, on Sunday. Hoping to leave everyone else until 8 wks or later. Could be difficult though, as friends know we were trying and it's fairly obvious if I've stopped drinking

biglips · 19/04/2005 10:46

we told my mum and brother and Dp's mum and 2 sisters and my work boss when i was 4-5 weeks pg and then told everyone when i was 12 weeks pg

SkiBunnyFlummy · 20/04/2005 10:45

I told people other than family when it started to show about 5 months I think and they started to notice.

In our society we seem to 'announce' pregnancy v. early.

I work in v. multicultural office. The women of African origin never tell that they are pregnant.

Often we guess but they usually hide with loose clothes and scarves.

As an example one is up the duff right now, due next month. She didn't tell anyone til 2 weeks ago. I was pretty suspicious but couldn't be sure. so she didn't tell until she was 7/8 months.

purpleturtle · 20/04/2005 12:08

With 2nd pg, we told our parents by posting a scan picture to them!

AUBINA · 20/04/2005 15:00

I have much older siblings who have chosen not to have children. So I knew my Mum would be very excited when I told her. However she has various health problems. So I didn't want to upset her by telling her one minute I was pregnant and then not long after that I had had a miscarriage. Often women who are pregnant for the first time don't realise how common miscarriage is.

I'm a firm believer that if you want to keep a secret, don't tell anybody. So I told everyone when I was 5 months, with both my pregnancies.

I'm glad I did because once you are pregnant, thats all anyone talks to you about. Its as if you have nothing else going on in your life.

bundle · 20/04/2005 15:01

only dh knew until after our first scans, both times

Twiglett · 20/04/2005 15:02

I told straight away and to be honest don't understand this whole wait until the first trimester is over until announcing

so if the worst happens and you have a miscarriage you wouldn't want your nearest and dearest to know and be able to support you?

bundle · 20/04/2005 15:04

ikwym twig, but it was my way of coping with the first trimester, keeping it to myself. my parents don't leave close so i suppose it was easier keeping it from them.

hoxtonchick · 20/04/2005 15:37

i told most people straight away, both times. dp much more circumspect, so this time all my friends knew but his parents didn't.... i think he wanted to wait until i was 12 weeks which just happened to be xmas day, but my enormous tummy gave the game away earlier.

Dophus · 20/04/2005 21:25

i also told straight away I was too excited to keep it to myself!

I felt if the worst happened then it would be even harder to go through it with no one knowing.

Dahlia · 20/04/2005 21:45

With both pregnancies we told everyone at 6 weeks, we were too excited to keep it quiet. Second time around I let dd1 tell people like my mum, we went round and were sitting having a brew and I gave her the nod, and she said "Granny, guess what? I'm going to be a big sister!" My Mum just gaped at her, then burst into tears. It was a fab moment...

Linnet · 20/04/2005 21:48

With dd1 I think I told everyone when I found out at 9 weeks.

With dd2 we didn't tell friends/family until I was 20 weeks. I didn't tell my work until I was 22 weeks.

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