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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

how hard is it to be a parent?

116 replies

valentine5 · 12/04/2005 18:29

hi everyone,i have just found out im pregnant,inside i feel happy but my parnter has a child from a previous relationship and he doesent feel ready to be a parent again so im a little scared as i feel a little alone(i got caught when i was on antibiotics) he keeps telling me that being a parent is very hard work and takes over your life,is there any good things about being a parent or is it true what he says,as he wants me to get an abortion but i dont think i can do it.pleas help! xxxx

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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Original poster

valentine5 · 12/04/2005 20:49

thankyou for your support,when do you have the first scan? x

OP posts:

HappyMumOfOne · 12/04/2005 20:50

I must add my partner also already has his own son and did have when i met him!
There was no way on this earth just because he had fulfilled his role in being a father that i was going to let him ruin my chance of being a mother!
But if you feel the time is not right for you then thats your choice but dont just go by what his choice is cause u will hold it against him forever.

I really hope it works out for you and you choose what u want goodluck for the future!

HappyMumOfOne · 12/04/2005 20:51

I had mine at 12 weeks i think its always around that time!

HappyMumOfOne · 12/04/2005 20:51

How far are you know?

Mud · 12/04/2005 20:52

it is hard but it is very much worth it

cads · 12/04/2005 20:53

First scan is usually at 11-13 weeks. Some women have an earlier dating scan to establish how many weeks they are or if there are any possible problems. How many weeks are you?

Original poster

valentine5 · 12/04/2005 20:53

im not to sure i think im about 6 weeks so i wont be ready just yet,what happens before your first scan do you have to have any other test in the first 12 weeks? x

OP posts:

cads · 12/04/2005 20:54

Not usually

beansprout · 12/04/2005 20:56

V - what sort of experience did your partner have first time round? Was that planned? How old is his child? This is very likely to be affecting his thinking now.

Can you talk to him about his concerns or is it a blanket "no" on his part?

Original poster

valentine5 · 12/04/2005 20:56

thanks,im just not sure what the procedure is and what i have to do xx

OP posts:

mummytosteven · 12/04/2005 20:58

not very much happens before first scan - you will probably have one midwife appointment where they check BP, give you a bit of advice about what not to eat etc.

mummytosteven · 12/04/2005 20:59

blood tests would be done when your see midwife at the hospital - prob around same time as your scan

Original poster

valentine5 · 12/04/2005 20:59

he was very young when he had his first and yes he is very cncerned because the last one wasnt planned and he is worried about if the relationship doesent work out he will be left with two children from prev relationships, so i can understand where he is coming from but would this chang in a few years, theres always going to be that chance ,you never know what the future holds for anyone and we do have a good relationship xx

OP posts:

kama · 12/04/2005 21:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

HappyMumOfOne · 12/04/2005 21:02

I had to go and see midwife at 9-10 weeks at gps surgery.They fill in forms all about you , your partner, family history etc. You have 1 blood test and then you will recive a letter in the post with ur scan date.

bambi06 · 12/04/2005 21:02

like what beansprout said..maybe his first experience wasnt all good but he`s with you now and it will be a different experience as your two different people and maybe if he sees how important this is too you he will reconsider his feelings but i think you should sit down and try and talk about both your feelings on this matter

cads · 12/04/2005 21:03

Have you spoken to your GP? My Gp gave me an early pregnancy pack with information about what the procedure is and in there are forms requesting the necessary scans (usually 11-13 and 20-23 weeks)that you send off asap.

Does your GP surgery have a midwife? At my surgery, there is a midwife that you see between 8 to 12 weeks for a booking appt during which you go through loads of paperwork and she takes blood for standard tests. And she then goes through averything with you and will let you know when/how many antenatal checks you need.

The best thing is to ring your surgery and ask.

HappyMumOfOne · 12/04/2005 21:03

How long have you been with ur partner?

Original poster

valentine5 · 12/04/2005 21:03

i will have to book an appointment with the midwife then and probably book an appoinment to see a counseller aswell.xx

OP posts:

juicychops · 12/04/2005 21:05

Congratulations on your pregnancy. I haven't read all the posts but Here's what i think...
When i fell pregnant (not planned) i was so excited and scared at the same time. I was 19 and thought 'god my life will be over' but at the same time i would be a young mum which is what i wanted when i had kids. i was never a kiddie person but knew it would be different with my own one. Now DS is 3 months old and i dont regret having him at all! i do miss going out and buying clothes and spending my money on me, but everyone probably does. My life is no way over... its just different to how i planned it to be. my DS has became my life but i love it and wouldn't change it for the world.
Its your decision so don't get an abortion if its not what you want. My DPs parents wanted me to have an abortion but i just couldn't do it and i didn't want to do it. They love their grandson to bits now. Good luck in whatever you decide

Original poster

valentine5 · 12/04/2005 21:06

we have been together 2 and a half years and we live together, we both work full time and are very much in love i just feel this may be good for us xx

OP posts:

cads · 12/04/2005 21:09

I'm off to bed. Hope to see you join the "Due in Dec05" thread on the antenatal board. (hugs)

Original poster

valentine5 · 12/04/2005 21:11

ive got to logg off now too thankyou so much everyone for all your support ill keep everyone posted on my decision,no doubt i will be back for more advice thanks so much for listening xxxxx

OP posts:

HappyMumOfOne · 12/04/2005 21:12

I had only been with my partner 3 months when i fell pregnant ! But nearly 4 yrs later and we are still going strong! I was the only one working my dp had just moved down from up north and we were living with my mum! so yes we struggled at first but life could not be better now! Dp got a good job, We got our own house and had a baby! Now i am a SAHM and i love it.
My mum was not happy about it and she did not speak to me for about 2 days but she adores her grandson now!

HappyMumOfOne · 12/04/2005 21:13

ok valentine keep us updated, think about it long and hard and chat to ur dp. take care and hope to hear from you soon xx

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