40 + mums with baby tums & those who've already 'popped' with muffin tops - come say Hi!

[jeanjeannie]

Yet ANOTHER thread. Like it says - those of you who've waved bye bye to 39 come and say Hi to us instead.

We think that 40 is the new 20, cyber cake is the new weight-watchers and older mums rock

So, if you fit that description come and play with us. We like cake, gossip an occasional luke warm debate and a good moan! Oh and we're also very friendly and supportive!

OK everyone.....take it away x

hello all

I'm dead interested to know how you fare with the weighing in jw I keep meaning to ask you how you know whether a meal has less than the required 12g of fat? and have your eating habits changed much this week?

I saw that article too and thought of ermintrude These remedies are only a placebo so they're not going to work on very young kids.

He he, JW, there'll be smiles of smug 'I told you so' satisfaction on my parents' faces after that. They used to take things a bit too far sometimes though - if we complained of a pain Dad would say 'where is it?' and we'd say - this arm/leg/ear/head and he's say - cut it off, that'll sort it out. Not a bad strategy, although it left little room for manoeuvre in the event that the pain was real/serious - my mum was grossly unsympathetic at my extremely bad period pains and used to leave me in a heap when I'd fainted with the pain and then tell me I was 'so Victorian' when I came round. Oh, her guilt when, 14 years later, endometriosis was diagnosed. I try to take a middle line with my own DC...

Well, the baby has started moving like crazy, so Mummy has stopped worrying. It started when I was eating salt and vinegar crisps, Co-worker (she who knows everything) says that means the baby didn't like them. Um, I haven't digested them yet! Baby hasn't had them!

I see my OB tomorrow anyway, so I'll mention my mummy fret over falling down and less movement and hopefully get a quick scan or a doppler or something!

marks is probably your best bet for the loungewear look ladymac that's where I get mine - you can usually get nice long tops too.

I have to confess I sported the bare midriff look when heavily pg as it was August and I could only find vesty tops and no way would they fit over the bump. I lived in them once I went on mat leave.

ermintrude didn't you know that COOKING DOESN'T GET MUCH TOUGHER THAN THIS . In my previous life I worked in telly making food programmes and still enjoy watching them so we saw most of the series. I just knew that baldy would blub like a baby if he won. We were rooting for Andy as one of my colleagues is a good friend of his and she was very good at keeping the result a secret. He looked absolutely gutted that he'd lost. The only time his lip quivered was when the top chefs heaped praise on his cooking.

That whole crying malarky is why I can't watch programmes like X Factor. I shout at the TV as soon as the inevitable blubbing starts.

hi all.

Bit late in the thread but dh has just agreed to us trying for another baby so If i May, I'd like to join you ver here.

I'm 42 and will be 43 in Sept, this will be baby #6.

mrsb I was wearing a short shirt and some track pants that only fit under my bump, in my own lounge and DH freaked at me! I guess I'm not allowed to show anyone my bump ever, not even him!

Tee and Tabitha Kez was my first I had certain issues to do with being in hospital and did have a birth plan, vary glad I did my midwife gave me a fantastic birth so this was my birth plan bristollass.bravehost.com/Birth%20Plan.html y community midwife said it was good because it was flexible but explained why I needed things a certain way. I created it using the book Blooming Birth which I bourght for my SiL who had a baby the year before me and we both found down to earth and helpful they also have a website bloomingbirth.net/birthplan.aspx anyone who wants to borrow it is welcome.

ermintrude one of my instructions was no doctors and my midwife was fantastic at keeping the buggers out even lying about how long I had been pushing to keep them out

I think it's all well and good having a birth plan but if something goes wrong (and no one can plan for this) then you have to be flexible. No one wins a medal for compromising baby and mums health and safety. I've had medical intervention on 3 out of 4 of mine and there was no way around it...even if I hadn't wished it. And as you go on having more babies then the risks get bigger (I was told past your 3rd then you're asking for trouble!).

Welcome Liahgen. Hope that you're up the duff very soon then

tee just wait until you get a real belly. What's he going to say then huh?

ladymac didn't you know the only way to win the X Factor these days was to have a brilliant sob story?? Nothing to do with singing...that's so last season

I had a birth plan for the first one (born in hospital). It basically said, physiological third stage, no augmentation of labour, no intervention unless something goes wrong, and that if intervention was necessary, I preferred a CS to forceps or ventouse. Practically every single item was ignored by the arsehole duty obstetrician. I ended having to fight his decisions whilst in full-blown labour and quite near the end, with the quiet support of my hugely supportive midwife.

Next two labours were at home and went exaclty according to plan: ie physiological 3rd stages, minimal internals, very minimal intervention and fussing from the lovely midwife during the labours- she basically sat in the corner catching up on months old news inn the Times we'd been saving for months for carpet covering purposes until the second stage. Marie (same one both times, she was off duty both times) knew what I wanted, so no need for a birth plan. I think that communicating fully with your midwife, and being lucky enough to have a good one on the day (and even luckier to have your named midwife) are key to getting what you want.

ok here's where everyone falls about laughing but what does physiological third stage mean?

It means letting nature take its course with birthing the placenta, ie no syntocinon or god forbid traction or any such nonsense- for me the attraction was that the placenta stops working when the baby is breathing properly and stops needing it, meaning less likelihood of them developing breathing problems. Hospitals don't necessarily like them because they think we're all going to bleed to death unless they get the placenta out in 60 seconds. My friend had a homebirth with a 7 hour 3rd stage (even her independent midwife was getting twitchy!) and she most certainly did not bleed to death!

Glad you asked mrsb cuz I was about to!

My first placenta (how often does one get the chance to use those words?) was delivered with a massive plop as I sat on a birthing stool b/feeding DD. The MW hadn't quite set the 'saucer' underneath properly so it was angled towards her and she got splattered with blood from chest to toe. Very cool, she just said 'dammit, that's my second change of clothes today.' . Second placental delivery was also v quick. Hospitals like to clear you out with syntometrin just so they can tick the All Done box and move along, but there's only a need if you haemorrhage, in which case you have to get it out fast. It's one of those interventions that has become so commonplace that lots of medics don't stop to think whether it's necessary, which it usually isn't, and try to make women feel like evil daredevils if they say they'd rather plop it out on their own. Sorry I keep saying plop; I could say slither. Had your tea yet folks?

Welcome, Liaghen. Good luck with your endeavours.
Hedgepig. I didn't know that an early epidural could slow it all down. Like you, I'd also much prefer to just ask for what I need on the day - to give it all a try and see what works. We are going to parentcraft classes (to teach us how to be parents - at my age?). They cover pain relief in those classes, so I'm told. I really would like to avoid an epidural, as I already have back trouble and don't want to make it worse. However, I'm hoping that, if I change my mind, then that won't be a problem. At the end of the day, what I really want is to be left alone with DH until I need some help. No poking, prodding or anything else. In fact, that could end up being my birth plan.
Thanks, Kaz for your tips as well. So much to think about.
Duchesse what does traction in relation to the placenta mean? I like the idea of just letting it come away naturally. That is something that I've thought about.

Traction- back in the dark ages of childbirth (ie probably as late as 10 years ago), some doctors and midwives believed that cord traction (ie yanking on the trailing end of umbilical cord) was a perfectly valid way of getting through 3rd stage quickly. Actually it's quite a good way of pulling the placenta away from the uterus wall before it's ready to separate, and causing a haemorrhage.

thanks for the welcome ladies,

so what are my chances of a nice natural hb then ?

had Obstetric cholestasis last 3 pg's, but sooo not gonna get it this time, don't do pain but am a doula so i know it can be done, am good at telling other people its possible, how do i believe it?

My last labour I was actually haemorraging as I had a placental abruption.

mrsb basically you're allowed 12-15grams of fat per meal. Working it out from the packaging is a good way of knowing and there's an online fat calculator that you can use for fruit and veg. Not much in the latter though so you can eat lots of it (with the odd exception naturally).

My best friend has just rung me and she's off to New York for a week on Wednesday. I'm so jealous My highlight is going to Costco to look at this month's offers. She's single though and has no kids. I still think that I'm the lucky one though

You weighing in tomorrow JW? I'm v relieved you've made it through the week with no erm unpleasantness in the gusset department . Hope your scales have pleasing news.

We went to NYC for a week last June and it was glorious - a heatwave, DH's airfares and a chunk of our apartment paid for by his work and a week off school for DC (yes, social services will be at our door any moment). You WILL go one of these days, JW, and you have all the joys of not being single, of which we occasionally need to remind ourselves. I never thought I'd be giving birth the following June - had just about given up on conceiving again, amazing what can happen in a year

liahgen welcome and good luck with your 'project'! I've looked up Obstetric cholestasis - you poor thing, my sister got v itchy and had to be induced 15 years ago; I wonder if that was the reason. Lol@ a doulah who doesn't do pain . I was very used to contractions because it was the same as endometriosis pain, so it was never scary for me - must be weird and worrying if you've never had a painful period and then suddenly your uterus is going crazy. And I found the notion of pain with a purpose very understandable - I could feel things were progressing, I could still walk about until the second stage, the TENS machine was soothing and distracting and it didn't go on too long, so I was lucky.

I think it's good to approach labour with a determination that you'll try it a certain way, but you still have to be ready to change your mind, and not beat yourself up about it if things don't go to plan - as lots of people have said, we can't control or foresee everything so need to keep some options open. If my labours had gone on longer or been complicated I'd have had to take a different route. Just hoping the third won't be any different....

ermintrude I'm not that bothered about the trip really. I've done some travelling myself in the past. There'll be lots more opportunities in the future.

Yes, it's funny the difference a year can make isn't it? Even months. I remember my BiL joking with me in November 07 at FiL's 80th b'day party that 'why am I not cracking on with another baby'. I laughed and said I was too old. We were in fact trying but it's not something you announce to everyone at a party. And 2 months later I found out Katherine was squatting in there Mind you, I'd met DH and moved in with him within 6 months. Before you gasp, JJ did it in less time

No unexpected surprises in the undies dept so well done me!

Just watching Who Do You Think You Are. It's Kevin Whately tonight.

mrsb very, very, bad news to tell you. Look away NOW if you don't want to see..............ASOS now sell baby clothes and they are fab but dear! Oh no.

Evening all - just got the girls to bed - teeth and snot traumas! In fact I think my ear drums are still ringing from Verity's shrieks

All this talk of placenta - pleased I've had my moussaka already Well, I shall join in - although I think ermintrude has trumped my in the gross stakes! My first c-sec (emerg) was a long affair as the placenta had stuck AND disintigrated (due to water loss and infection) so they spent ages picking out the bits. DP looked over and said - "Oooo, it's just like mashed jelly"

liahgen hello - you are most welcome and I hope you're having fun getting on with making DC # 6 Sorry, can't help with hb - 2 c-secs here. Very funny being a doula not doing pain!

ladymac how about The White Company - they do nice PJs. The funeral will be next week sometime in glorious SE London. I've seen a nice deep blue skirt in White Stuff - may just wear that with a navy top and cardi.

I want to go to NY I used to go twice a year for the fashion shows for over a decade and I began to depise it - I just associated it with stress and work. I'd like to go now though- just for the shopping

My bessie mate is single - no kids and doesn't want them either. She lives in Dubai and travels everywhere - I get random texts saying things like "this house boat is lovely you really should see Rajasthan"..!

I'm watching Kevin Whately too. I once had a really, really filthy dream about him once

ermintrude I had double peaking contractions during my 3rd labour. Just as I thought a contraction was losing it's intensity it would have another go which I found very hard work and difficult to breathe through. Still not sure how I managed it without pain relief but I'm sure being in my own bedroom made a difference. It was certainly a harder, longer and more painful labour than my second one. I'm hoping number 5 will just plop out

liahgen welcome. How old are your other children? I'm 45 and expecting number 5. Did you have homebirths with the others? Sorry to hear you had OC, it sounds horrible. My consultant isn't refusing me a homebirth, just not giving it her blessing as I keep being told the risks of haemorrhaging are high by the time you get to number 5. Would be great if you could tell me what you know.

Kev is much posher than I though he would be.

JJ I've never been to a fashion show but then again, I'm not sure I've ever been in fashion either I'd like to go to NY just for the shopping but what I stopped myself from telling her on the phone (as I'm not that much of a spiteful bitch - must be losing my touch) is that she'll not be getting much dollar for her pound. I'm sure she knows this already.

She sounds like your friend JJ although she doesn't jet off all the time. But, she has spare cash and buys lots of clothes etc etc. The luxury's of the single girl eh? She rang me to tell me she loved me (think I might have heard a wine cork popping in the background) just in case the plane crashed. I asked her if I could have her handbag collection if it did....and she said yes, so there we have it

Teeth and snot traumas sound an horrific mix!

Saw Danny Boyle on the local news tonight. Apparently he was literally up the road from me yesterday as he was visiting his family in Bury. He seems like a nice bloke. Very grounded.

For some unknown reason I'm craving a Starbucks skinny decaff latte. No. I. Am. Not. Pregnant.

Should be able to decamp from the bedroom on Wednesday as the living room is coming along nicely. At least I have the 'sofa' (bed) to myself at last. There were 2 adults, a baby and a 9 year old boucing around it yesterday. DH is playing bridge tonight. No one to warm up my cold feet.

ladymac are you confusing the real Kevin Whately with the character he played in Aufweidesein Pet (sp?)