40 + yummy mummies with baby tummies and those who've 'popped' - come hither!

[jeanjeannie]

Come join our merry (talkative) band of ladies who lunch - feel sick - are getting fatter - sleep deprived or run off their feet with babies! Some of us suffer all of the above - while trying to retain an air of calm and mystery

All we ask is you play nicely, eat cake and indulge in the occasional gossip and moan about our ills....or anything else that we can think of.

We're like grumpy old women....only not so grumpy...

Fab news tee *wipes happy tear from eyes!

Isn't it lovely to get that reassurance. You can move onto worry about something else....I believe that's the way it works! Well, for the next couple of decades at least!

jw good to hear slovenly grooming is alive and well where you are too

Councillor has just got back to me - there is going to be a meeting with the community police and many annoyed residents. The crime rate in just a few local streets has soared since a certain family has turned up It's like Corrie Anyway, the councillor knows this family of old and is furious - they've already been kicked out of the 'sink estate' and put here in the hope they'd 'rise' to the better standard.... NO!! It doesn't work that way!! My mate has lost her garden wall - GONE! He car was full of eggs and they're running drugs with their BMXs all in the space of two months since they've been here ....GGgrrrrrrr. I have NO idea what goes on in their heads.....ah, probably very little!

No hedgepig you're fine - you're 'in' with the slovenly Mummies bunch. If you had a fag on and a can in yer hand - THEN we'd have to have words

Yeah, we're the slummy mummies hedgepig so pull up a chair

Well done tee. Another milestone. Only...counts on fingers.....another 18 years of worry - at least!!

Just spent more money, funnily enough, with your website hedgepig I've got to start showing more resolve but I know it's futile. I knew when I had Katherine and all the awful moments we had along the way she'd be spoilt rotten. Ah well I don't care, as long as she's ok Oh, the stuff I bought was for next summer as it's in the sale, what's left of it. So I am actually saving money

JJ glad that you're managing to sort out the Clampets. Threaten to stop their benefits. That'll have them sweating

ahem. I went to the shop on the corner once in my ehm loungewear. But on the other hand I very rarely go out without make up on although... hmmm...in recent months I have been known to brush my hair with my fingers. I am half-chav

but I almost never go anywhere with a can of Special Brew in my hand..

"rise to the standard"? what rot! when the hell does that ever happen??jj not surprised you've taken action bloody disgrace.

Fantastic news tee

Well we went to visit the local nursery, it is attached to the school and it has a very very good reputation so I want to add as many connections as I can so she gets in. Have to fill in the paper work and pay £20 to put her on the list but well worth it as at the moment for a 2 sessions (morning and afternoon) including lunch it is under £20 which is cheaper than the hospital one and gets her closer to the school place (shall be hysterical if she does not get in I can see the school from the flat, yes we are finally in Jean )

Hi Tee2072 nice to see a new face so to speak

Oh lord I am going to spend half the night on my knees picking up Kezzy's tea she has missed the plastic mat totally

I usually go downstairs to help bring the grocery order up in my PJs, with my bedsock clad feet stuffed into my summer sandals. Sometime I go out onto the street this way, if Tesco is too slow bringing it to the door of our building's lobby!

Do I fit the image?

Tee wait till baby arrives you will never get out of pj's lol

Hello Tee and all. Pleased to report my scan was also vg and spot-on. Even got a photo where It's waving and blowing bubbles!

JW well done for your nursing prowess, hope your DH will be well enough to join in the olbas oil fun later!

JJ hope things have calmed down round your way. I reckon that in terms of social behaviour, emotional and mental poverty are as significant, if not more so, than material poverty. I hope that if we ever hit rock bottom financially we'd still hold on to some basic values, whereas you could give some people a fortune and they'd still drag their kids up like they were s**t. Most depressing and horrid to live near.

JJ just seen the pics of girls in the snow = cutiepies!

Evening all. kaz I'm also clearing up the floor after a round of messy eating from Verity!

ermintrude Superb news! I knew it was near to tee's appointment - just not that near! Blowing bubbles already....awwww...get that university fund started - it's gonna be a bright one And yes, I totally and emphatically agree with you re: poverty in the emotional sense. Like I said - when you see the mother it all falls into place

kaz well done on getting Kezzy's name down...it's killer instinct here. Apparently it now makes no difference which nursery/pre-school you go to here in Bucks - it's full-on cut-throat once that form goes in. Loads of people aren't getting into good schools - even the ones that can see the gates from their windows!!! Makes me laugh as people keep saying 'I've put little Bobby's name down for XXX school and he's only 18mth' and you KNOW they're lying as state schools in Bucks only accept applications at the same time - the year before they are due to start.

Gosh - no wonder so many children are so miserable - the pressure just to get into schools drives their parents nuts, imagine what it's doing to them?! We're even contemplating going to church....

Cup of tea anyone - I'm puttin the kettle on?!

YAYA for good scans ermintrude!!

ermintrude also well done on your good scan. And what a little show off yours is already K did nothing on my scan. Zero. Kicked a leg once or twice then turned over. Very much like her father

JJ same here. I've been told I've no chance for the school of preference for K and the only other is the one where all the little chavs go. I can't put her name down for either of them until the term before she's due to start. I think we're going to move anyway before then but even that doesn't guarantee a place as there will be no sibling already in attendance.

I'm putting K back on the [semi] solid food tomorrow. Sieved pears are the order of the day. Easy to digest and juicy. Oh, and we've discovered pear juice in a bottle today and she's swigged it down like best bitter Can't wait for the nappy tomorrow

mrsb to complete your look you need to leave the make up on overnight so the mascara is under your eyes a la KISS. Just a thought

make up on overnight jw? ahem. perish the thought. God no, never. Disgusting.

congrats ermintrude on a good scan also. It's a great weight off the mind to get to that point.

Are all these competitive parents basing their decisions on Ofsted reports? I sometimes wonder whether good Ofsted reports just mean the school is good at convincing the inspectors on the day. And as for brilliant SATS results, just means the school and the pupils are good at passing specific formulaic exams and have sod all to do with real education. Is it not better have a happy child in an ok school rather than a pressurised child in a school that is trying to keep itself at the top of the pile?

Apparently most of the schools in York are good - although we are in the catchment of one which is fed by a rough council estate in a rough area. I was all for moving at first but I have heard from a teacher that it is quite a good (and happy) school.

It's completely different where I come from in Ireland - all the schools are religious (boo) but the vast majority are good - and there are no private primary schools so the chavs go to school with the nobs and everyone is more or less educated to the same standard or at least has the opportunity to be so.

Me neither mrsB never go to bed without a full cleanse, tone and moisturise routine....

Ofsted is weird. Really fab schools round here (fab meaning good results, nice atmosphere) tend to be slated by Ofsted while the really bad schools (police patrols at Junior level) get great Ofsted! Sats are just too confusing for my brain. Bucks being a grammar county - if you don't pass the 11+ then you have the choice of two failing (on the gov hit list) and very violent secondary schools - and that's it!

There is a plethora of independent schools aimed at the 'ordinary' person market as they know people would rather pay than their kids go to the sink schools! Not looking forward to the end of the year when we have to make our choices as we know we won't get any of them - unless we pick a faith school....and then we need to have been to church. Mmm, I'm seeing a fatal flaw in the last plan

of course now the Govt. is nationalising some fee paying schools that are in trouble because some parents are pulling their kids out and leaving them in the lurch. This means that all the currently fee paying kids will get to continue for free - but also the school will have to take local pupils. And all the kids who have been pulled out of private schools will now be trying to getting to the best local schools.

Confusing enough??

JJ this school thing is a nightmare. The schools here only take names in the sept before your child is due to start too (or I would be in there flashing me eyes at dear mr C LOL but you do get more priority if you have what they call a connection to the school comes after those in care, special needs have sibling at the school.... but if I get her in and do stuff for the school (they are looking to get help from Mums and alike for art or etc it all helps show I what they call a connection. My SiL was stunned I am already thinking of schools but they are in Germany and they start later.

Morning all.

Ug, I was hoping to not see 5am again until the baby was born.

The kid isn't even born yet, but it sounds like I should be thinking about this! Of course it doesn't help that a.) I'm in NI where the non-religious schools are few and far between, although they do exist and b.) I totally do not get the UK school system anyway!

I don't suppose someone wants to explain UK schools to me?

morning YAWN, Bad night I have lost track of when O was and was not asleep, of course he is snoozing now grump grump

Did anyone see Shane Richie giving Sians bump a good feel on breakfast TV, I think she was very restrained not to thump him.

The UK school system Tee now that will take some explaining. When we were little girls it was easy you went to the local school and that was it. The fallacy of "Choice" got introduced which meant people could aim to get their child into a better school (how ever that is defined) but of course places in the better schools are not limitless and so actually there isn't that much choice (as for JJ), and it just causes huge amounts of stress for parents and children. Quite what the answer is I don't know, the obviously thing is to improve the less good schools to give all children a good education but how to do that is another thing .

hedgpig I second what you said and add that in the past a lot of creaming has happened with the best teachers going to the best schools. It's not difficult to work out what the result is. Ends up with certain schools being over subscribed and others failing.

I think there is something in the Gov't pipeline at the mo re initiatives at throwing more money at the bad schools. This of course never works as this fundamentally is not the problem.

tee there are many social problems which contritube to bad schools and for e.g. a school in Hackney is never (well pretty much never) going to be as good as a school in say, Henley on Thames. I hope that my examples are right as I'm obviously not from darn sarf.

Bury doesn't operate the 11+ but Trafford does (south manchester) so we have the option to move there. Also there are some lovely schools in Cheshire and that's another option. But, I fear that wherever we go then we still have the same problems of oversubscribing and no ties to the school.

hegepig didn't see the (annoying) 'Shame' Ritchie but she should have slapped him.

Sorry to hear that O has been playing up Hopefully he'll give you a rest today.

Morning all, we all sound tired today don't we? Hope some dc, yummy mummies and mummies-to-be passed a comfortable night. Apart from the bloomin' 'up twice to pee' story mine wasn't too bad. JW, have those pears come through yet?

Tee, it was indeed easier when we were girls, as hedgepig says. You either went to a state or a state-aided (RC or CofE) primary and by the time you reached Junior 4 (Year 6 these days), depending on the politics of your local education authority, you either went to a comprehensive or had to sit the 11-plus exam and go to a grammar or a secondary modern. Or you went private.

I'm still all in favour of a really good comp where you get a complete social and educational mix - with appropriately-skilled teachers to work at all levels - but now that there is so much 'choice', parents who can afford to will move near a good school (as mrsb describes) so you often find that there are essentially middle-class comps and 'sink-school' comps, thus mirroring the grammar school system. If you live in a place where school places are selective on the basis of the 11-plus, many of the 'comps' are inevitably not at all comprehensive because the brightest kids have been creamed off. And if your child is a late developer - lots of kids don't do well at 11 but are much better academically at 14 - they could be stuck there forever and never be given the chance to achieve their potential.

Ofsted hasn't been around for that long, came in around the time the National Curriculum came in. Both good ideas in theory, both problematic in practice. mrsb, you're right that you can't judge a school just on its Ofsted - our DD's junior school got Outstanding in every single area and that's just not true - the Head used to be an Ofsted inspector and I think it's insider dealing. And while they're supposed to judge a school's atmosphere and ethos, they really do focus on results, so a middle-class catchment will almost always get a better Ofsted. You need to look at the range ie. even if the average GCSE points aren't fantastic, are some kids achieving top grades?

Everything is more competitive and more extreme in London and the home counties.

Bailing out private schools who've buggered up their finances makes me . The fact independent schools still have charity status makes me

Calm down now Ermintrude. Have a cup of tea. Do not look at the DM website. Breathe...

Like tee I hadn't realised you were supposed to start worrying about this quite so soon, I had sort of thought that if the local school wasn't up to scratch we would move or I would very cynically "refind" God and send him to a Catholic primary.

What if you move jw and the child still doesn't get into a good school? there's no guarantee.

A headteacher who was and Oftead inspector will know how to maximise their schools chances and what do do and say to convince the inspectors they are brilliant.

Terrible night here. D awake 'til 2am and again at 5. Bugger all sleep. Feel ill. After the night before's proper sleep it is most disappointing. Too tired to play and he is fulll of beans.

mrsb that's essentially what I said. There's no guarantee that if we move we'll get a place. If we stay put, then she'll go to the estate primary school but then be in line for the secondary school which is no. 1 (not counting the independents) in Bury as the primary school is a feeder. Btw, number 1 based on it's GCSE results A*-C results. So it's swings and roundabouts really. She's pretty much guaranteed a place at the good secondary but goes to the local primary in the middle of a poor council estate. Btw, before I pass judgement on this primary school I've yet to see it so it would be unfair of me to slate it without having the facts to hand

I've dug out the humidifier for K's room and her cold seems to getting a little better. However, rung the clinic to cancel her bronchiolitis jab until Monday when hopefully she'll be better. The sister who runs the clinic told me the children's ward at Fairfield is full of bronchiolitis cases, some very poorly, in ITU and head count at 19 at the mo. Some have been shipped out as there are no more beds This season has been a very bad one it seems.

Oh, and K's teeth are there sitting in her bottom gums! Can see them! Probably explains the cold.

oh yeah - meant to ask how she was getting on today jw no sign of it going on her chest I hope. I'd never heard of bronchiolitis until I read what you had said about it - sounds bloody horrendous.