no shouting - why should I brestfeed?

[babyc]

Ok, I'm not looking for judgement, just advice. I am looking forward to the birth of my first child, however I have no desire to breastfeed past the first few weeks, when the baby will get all the anti-bodies etc he will need.
I would be happy to bf, but really don't want to have the whole breast pump/waking up in the night to express deal. I understand that it is natural, but I don't see what is natural about using a breast pump. I wasn't breast fed, because I wouldn't apparently, nor were several other babies I know, some not even for a few days, either because they wouldn't or mums didn't want to. I've noticed no difference in their health, or in IQ so I am wondering if it is worth it as I really don't want to and I am going back to work at 12 weeks (baby will be with dad). However, I don't want to not BF if it really is better. I'm having a CS so not sure how that fits in either? I feel like BF is something I HAVE to do, I've had a difficult pregnancy so far, so have only seen docs, not midwives, but will do shortly, I just feel like I'm already a bad mother if I consider not BFing.
Advice - not judgement please

You can breastfeed without having any need of a breastpump, they're not mandatory, don't let that put you off.

(I have NEVER got up in the night to express).

Oh right, just seen you're going back to work at 12 weeks. You probably would need a breastpump at that point.

Why don't you just set a short target - 6 weeks/12 weeks and see how you get on?

I'm planning to BF, but I've never heard of having to wake in the night to pump/express.... that would not be nice, but I do expect to wake when baby cries needing a feed. Why would u need to express during the night?

Regarding CS... as far as I know, you still can have skin-to-skin in recovery or as soon as possible after baby is born, so having a CS should not affect your ability to BF.

because thats what you are supposed to feed your baby
thats what breasts are for
it is completely perfect for your baby and contains live antibodies to help your babies immune system
it is the only option unless something medically happens toi mean that your breasts cannot produce milk

you dont need a breastpump
it is free

I am happy to do so in the short term , as I want the baby to get the best start, but i feel like there is so much pressure to do it for months, and like I'll be a bad mother if I don't. All the posters at the hospital go on about Bf like its the only option.
Is 6 weeks an ok length to do it? And can I do it without all the pump paraphernalia?

First - don't feel like a bad mother. You must do whatever is right for you.

As to breastfeeding, well, it is the best option for the baby, not just for the first few weeks, but for the first few years!!! There is no more suitable, more specially designed, milk for a mammal than that produced by its mother. That's not a judgement, it's just a fact. We are designed to provide the best milk for our own. A cow is designed to provide the best milk for a calf. It's just nature.

However, it's not a good idea to put pressure on yourself, or start to think in terms of good v bad mother - that's just going to make you feel low at a time when your hormones are going to be all over the place anyway!!

Also, it is not as simple as deciding to bf or ff - you may not be able to bf, many woman on here (me included) have stories of how they tried, and really wanted to, but it didn't work long term.

Having said that, many woman do, very successfully, and they love it, and there is lots of help out there if you are struggling.

I can't give you advice. I can tell you that breast milk, unless there is something wrong with it - like mother on meds or something - is most suitable for your baby. I can also tell you that formula won't kill your baby will provide nourishment and it's good enough. So it's your choice. You must do what is right for you. What I would choose, or what anyone else would choose, is irrelevent.

Oh i'm glad this thread has popped up, i'm sort of dealing with this dilemma at the mo! It's not so much the breast pump stuff that's putting me off, just the thought of this baby being constantly attatched, or what seems like constantly attatched to me, feeding to meet the supply and demand stuff.

I feel so selfish even thinking that. I was considering breastfeeding for the first few days until my milk comes in to make sure it gets the colustrum. But after that - I have no real desire to spend an hour feeding my baby, possibly dealing with sore nipples/mastitis etc.. only to repeat it all again an an hour or two later.

I wasn't breast fed, no babies in my family were as far as I know - and they have all turned out fine. DP would like me to breast feed.

Is formula really so bad?

Ah, chancellor answered my question about pumping at night. Expressing by hand may feel more natural for you than using a pump anyway.

My theory is that hassle with sterilising bottles, mixing formula and heating it to the right temp etc. is far more hassle than BF wud be.

You can do it without the breastpump, yes.

If I were you I would just take each day as it comes, give it a go and see how you get on, and if you're doing ok, carry on.

Then if you want to carry on when you go back to work you can sort of cross that bridge when you come to it.

Good luck.

Keep an open mind, you may find you like it! If you dont you can stop. No need for a pump, I cant express at all so didnt use one, deffo not in the middle of the night! You might find mixed feeding works for you, give formula through the day and bf when you are there. There arent any rules and the only bf police I have found are on here so just go with the flow and be proud that you are going to do it for the first few weeks

CS shouldn't affect your ability to breastfeed. I have had 2 sections and breast fed both babies. I was encouraged skin to skin contact straight away with both babies. I found a breast feeding workshop I attended just prior to DD's birth very valuable. Are there any on offer near you? My local hospital organised mine.

Why not give it a go and see how you get on? I really enjoyed it but I didn't go back to work at 12 weeks which meant I didn't have to express - I did try but couldn't do it.

Good luck, when are you due?

I breastfed my DS for a year and DD is still going at 10m.

I have never expressed or had a pump so the only waking in the night is to actually feed the baby.

Just an example of benefits later on - norovirus swept my area in December. Me, my DH, my DS (2, not breastfed) were puking and diahorreaing uncontrollably. I even puked over the top of DD (9m) whilst feeding her. This bug is so highly contagious but she didn't get it and I put it down to breastmilk. You can catch it even by sniffing vomit.

When bf, you continue to give the baby antibodies - updated for everythign you come into contact with.

You don't have to breastfeed, but I think, unless you are very against it (and find it disgusting etc as some people do) then you should give it a chance.

You really don't have to use a pump; in fact most breast feeding counsellors advise against it until your supply is well established, which takes about the six weeks you are planning on breast feeding anyway.

It's not as simple as getting all the antibodies he needs either; babies continue getting antibodies from their mum for as long as she is breastfeeding. There's no minumum required level.

Re the CSection, I had read that it can affect the length of time it takes you milk to come in, but have since found out this isn't so. the milk coming in is triggered by delivery of the placenta, however that happens and in fact my milk was in after two days when I had an elective section.

The health/IQ thing isn't as simple as individual children being iller or less intelligent, but when you look at the population as a whole the trend is that artificially feeding does affect the statistics for health etc, once all the other factors (poverty, lifestyle etc) have been taken out.

I think in your situation the best thing to do would be to give it a go and see how things go. Lots of women think they don't want to when pregnant, but feel completely differently about it once the baby is in their arms as the natural instinct kicks in. And once you have reached your six weeks you might find you just want to keep going, at least until you go back to work and then you can BF mornings and nights and have your baby's cares gives bottles in the day, as part time BFing is more beneficial than none at all.

And you aren't a bad mother for considering not BFing

Good Luck and remember there is lots of advioce and help on here should you need it

Shewillbeloved - you summed up how I feel too, I'm so glad its not just me - but I do feel quite scared to admit it.
Hecate - thanks for your advice. It was balanced and I do understand that it is best, but obviously bf for the first few years is not possible with a full time job as the main earner. I'm just a bit scared and confused so appreciate the advice without the judgment.

Also I didn't know you could express by hand? And I assumed that you had to express if the baby didn't feed if not your boobs really hurt - is that not true?

I keep crossing posts - so thank you all for the advice. It is good to hear so many different ideas, and I will be considering what is best for both of us.

If my boobs got full, I just fed the baby regardless of whether either of them were displaying feeding cues (didn't feed to a schedule). Both happy to feed when presented with it!

If you go from bf full time to not at all during the work day they will get a bit swollen, you will prob find its quite easy to squeeze some out to make yourself comfortable (even me who cant express more than a few ounces can do that bit by hand). If its very bad could your dh meet you at lunch or something so baby can help? Whether or not you mix feed you will be reducing the feeds so you will come across that anyway. Its not excruciating or anything and if you know when you are going back to work you will have time to reduce it gradually

May I suggest you get a book on breastfeeding?

One thing you may want to consider is that some of your concerns about breastfeeding would be the same no matter how you decide to feed your baby -- the middle of the night feeds. In fact if you are breast feeding, it's infinitely easier logistically

Okay flame me if you must.

Don't BF if you are not happy doing it, do it because you want to! Some peope just aren't cut out for it so please don't feel like a bad mother for not being sure about it.

Of course there are all the benefits but they are not of any use if you are unhappy are they?

Happy mum, happy baby. Give it a try if you want when LO is born then youw ill know if you feel comfortable enough to do it again.

I had 3 sections, one left me very ill in HDU and baby in NICU. I managed to bf and am glad I did. I did give up in the early weeks with some of my older ones. I am now bf DS, 11 weeks, I don't express, he sleeps 6-8 hrs (every 2 in the day though) at night and it is so easy going out etc not faffing with bottles. I would recommend giving it a go. It just seems crazy to give a baby a substitute when you already have what it needs right in front on you! I am not downplaying how hard it can be as I know, bf twins was very hard for a start, I also got little support with DD1 and gave up on the advice of the HV.

If you drop a feed then yes, your boobs will get engorged, but once your supply is established, this is a temporary thing once they will adjust to the new feeding regimeand expressing is surprisingly easier and can often be more productive than using a pump for some women.

Just reading my last post, I am wondering whether supply would be fully established at 12 weeks? Perhaps someone else can comment on that.

there is a lot of good advice on this site and also the La Leche League book The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding is very good

Shewillbeloved, the intense bit of breastfeeding (cluster feeding etc) and the possible nipple problems (some women have no pain/discomfort at all, even in the early days) only last for a very few weeks in the grand scheme of your child's life. Once this stage is over then BFing is a breeze.

Here's why.

I've been bf for 3 years and have never needed a pump.

Flame me if you want.

Wen i was pg, i really wasnt looking forward to bf, mostly because I felt that i would never get time to myself - constantly feeding baby etc. I did feel selfish, but there wasnt anything I could do about those feelings. Wen I mentioned these feelings to MW, she went off her head at me - telling me i was inconsiderate. - Helpful!!

Wen DS was born, he latched on immediately and breastfeeding went well for about 6wks, wen it started to become painful for me. I was forced encouraged to continue, as it was best for baby. I ended up in hospital(in agony) with a massive infection and suspected mastitis. I had a blocked duct and it was filled with puss (sorry tmi) and i had to have my (.) cut open to remove the gunk. This, I feel was due to MW and HV telling me that I would be doing wrong by the baby by not feeding him, even though i physically couldnt.

There is a lot of pressure on mums to bf. If I had to do it again, I would only have done it for the time I wanted to - fist 6-8wks and the move on to formula.

mamadiva the OP is asking for advice and your opinion/experience is as valid as everyones. Not sure why you thought it needed the inflammatory opening line; that's the sort of comment that turns perfectly nice threads into a raging argument on this topic