no shouting - why should I brestfeed?

[babyc]

Ok, I'm not looking for judgement, just advice. I am looking forward to the birth of my first child, however I have no desire to breastfeed past the first few weeks, when the baby will get all the anti-bodies etc he will need.
I would be happy to bf, but really don't want to have the whole breast pump/waking up in the night to express deal. I understand that it is natural, but I don't see what is natural about using a breast pump. I wasn't breast fed, because I wouldn't apparently, nor were several other babies I know, some not even for a few days, either because they wouldn't or mums didn't want to. I've noticed no difference in their health, or in IQ so I am wondering if it is worth it as I really don't want to and I am going back to work at 12 weeks (baby will be with dad). However, I don't want to not BF if it really is better. I'm having a CS so not sure how that fits in either? I feel like BF is something I HAVE to do, I've had a difficult pregnancy so far, so have only seen docs, not midwives, but will do shortly, I just feel like I'm already a bad mother if I consider not BFing.
Advice - not judgement please

One of my main reasons for bf-ing was sheer laziness. I could feed whilst asleep

lovelysongbirdie - I'm glad yours was such a good experience in the end. However, it's a mistake to assume that people FF simply because they're not well enough informed. I was very well informed, yet still chose not to BF for a whole variety of reasons...

I had a cs and as soon as we were out of the op theatre I bf my dd for about 45 mins. I was pretty out of it tbh but she was happy enough. Bf after a cs is no issue, positioning is a bit painful to start with but pillows and a helpful dh sorted that out.

I express in the day so dh can help with a feed and sometimes dd sleeps longer than normal and I'm bursting. I don't wake to express cos one of us is going to have to get up to feed her so it's simpler for me to get my boobs out than for him to get the milk from the fridge while she's crying!

Just a thing though, bfing was incredibly painful for me for the first 7 1/2 weeks with different complications. It's only now (9weeks) that it's actually quite enjoyable. If you do find that it really hurts I can assure you that it will get better and after the first few weeks it's a lovely thing to be able to do

As for why you should, they reckon it helps against various cancers for you, apparently it helps you shift baby weight (although I use it as an excuse to eat more biccies), and it's so much less faff - I'm too lazy to sterilise/mix/heat etc, boob milk is instant!!

I had a horrible experience breastfeeding DS1 - he latched on beautifully right from the first feed but my poor nips just couldn't take it - within 24 hours I had scabs and bits hanging off them (TMI, sorry!!) and battled on for two weeks in tears most of the time - I just didn't need that and was a miserable mom, so gave up and took to bottlefeeding. I felt guilty for about 5 minutes before moving on. Now I'm pregnant with DS2 and would like to try again, and I'm not ashamed to admit that it's mainly because of the convenience! I absolutely hated getting up in the middle of the night and stumbling around the kitchen trying to make up a bottle, and having to wash and sterilise them was just an extra job to add to my already long list, not to mention the expense especially given the fact that my son was a very big and very hungry baby!

Like a lot of posters have said, whatever works for you! And don't let any of those pushy Midwives / HV's give you any lip about it either (I had it from all sides...) - it's YOUR baby, YOUR breasts and YOUR informed decision!

Dottoressa, I was saying that i was ill informed and didn't understand why breast is best, and i'm sure there any many[not everyone] people like i was ill formed.
i honestly thought there wasn't a massive difference between formula and breast milk.

I get really irritated by boob nazi reactions, because I firmly believe that everyone has the right to decide on their own bodily autonomy. I don't get how women who are pro-choice on abortion can be so prescriptive on breastfeeding - whose breasts are they, anyway? Nobody has the right to an opinion except the owner of the boobs in question, and after nurturing a baby in her womb for 9 months, followed by labour and birth, IMO every mother on the planet has earned the right to decide on what feels right for her without anyone daring to imply selfishness. Formula sustains life and most babies given it are just fine, no question. But at the same time, I wish people didn't sugar coat about the differences between breast and formula. An informed choice requires just that: information. And in the words of the New Scientist:

Would we knowingly substitute any other complete biological system of nourishment (blood for example) with one that contained no living cells, no tissue-specific growth enhancers, no immune system modulators, no inflammatory response inhibitors plus a massive dose of non-human protein? And then give it to our children for the first six months of life when their immune systems are at their most under-developed and sensitive and consider it a mystery when they become ill?

Issue 2445 of New Scientist magazine, 01 May 2004, page 32*

Formula feeding increases the risks of childhood leukaemia by a third, increases very significantly the risks of crohn's disease, diabetes, ceoliac disease, eczema, and asthma, and knocks a (disputed, but always statistically significant) number of IQ points off. Breastmilk has as many white blood cells in as blood - it's made up of living human tissue, just as blood is. Breastmilk is, literally, alive. 80% of the cells in it fight disease in some way - some kill cancer cells. Breastmilk has proteins that are uniquely well digested by the human gut, and fatty acids uniquely able to nurture brain and organ development. It's a pain-killer, a laxative, and a sedative. It decreases the risk of obesity and poor eyesight. It contains a naturally occurring opiod that apparently helps the baby bond - that's why a breastfed baby has that stoned, blissed out floppiness at the end of a satisfying feed. It contains growth hormones, as well as antibodies from every disease you ever had and every vaccination you ever received. Most startlingly of all, several studies have shown that if your baby catches a bug of some kind, and breastfeeds, their saliva transmits the info to the breast, and your immune system promptly manufactures the antibodies required and sends them right back via the milk.

For the record, before I had my son I was planning to try to breastfeed, but had no issues with formula if I hated bf, or it didn't work out. I just had no clue on the seriousness of the difference between the two. As it happens he has oral problems that have made breastfeeding horrendously difficult - and at 3 months, I'm still pumping the most of his feeds, as he rarely latches well enough to satisfy him, or me to bear it. It's frustrating, boring, at times uncomfortable, and I can only do it because he's my first and I have a lot of help from my Mum. But yes, I honestly do believe breastmilk is that much better. It's worth it to me, now I know the difference. There's a reason the NHS pushes breast-feeding so hard, and formula companies are banned by law from advertising formula for babies under 6 months.

qually "For the record, before I had my son I was planning to try to breastfeed, but had no issues with formula if I hated bf, or it didn't work out. I just had no clue on the seriousness of the difference between the two."
thats what i was trying to say too.

and even after doing alot of research i still didn't know "Most startlingly of all, several studies have shown that if your baby catches a bug of some kind, and breastfeeds, their saliva transmits the info to the breast, and your immune system promptly manufactures the antibodies required and sends them right back via the milk"

so thanks for that info, I will be passing it on.

Qually - really good, detailed info there - thanks good luck with continuing to bf

Qally, that is a brilliant post, you have clearly done your homework and it makes very interesting reading.

Hi, haven't read all the other entries so sorry for repeating anything! The best thing to expect is the unexpected - you can't PLAN to breastfeed for a certain amount of time until the two of you (baby and you) have got to know one another and have figured out whats best for you! Obviously it is REALLY important to give baby some colostrum after he/she is born, and the longer you can breastfeed the better health wise for baby but at the end of the day formula's got 99% of everything in it anyway - it just doesn't have YOUR antibodies. Just be open minded and play it by ear!
Personally I intended to bf and my dd was born sucking on her hand and had no problem latching on to me, I never had any discomfort with bf and found it sooooo easy not to have to get out of bed in the night to feed (dd slept in a moses basket next to me so I would just pop her in bed next to me then doze while she ate, then lifted her back into her basket when she'd done - great!), however she lost weight and I was told to formula feed her (which made no difference - she just wasn't a big eater!) and I HATED it! I had to get up in the night to feed, wash and sterilise bottles, fanny around taking formula out with you if you wanted to leave the house, dd got colic from bottles! NIGHTMARE! bf (for me) was so much easier - I'm a pretty lazy laid back kinda person so bottles were just too much like hard work!
Just see how bf goes for you and you can always switch to bottles when you go back to work.
Also for the record - I've NEVER pumped in the middle of the night - only once in an afternoon to get enough for one feed for dh to give to dd in the evening!
You can also do both - I continued to bf in the morning and formula for the rest of the day - this could work for you if you give your pfb formula when your in work but you could still bf for his/her evening and night feeds?
Good luck anyway - remember: expect the unexpected, nothing ever goes "to plan"!!

"but at the end of the day formula's got 99% of everything in it anyway - it just doesn't have YOUR antibodies."

I thought that when I was pregnant too - but it's not true. I totally, totally support the right of every mother to decide what she does with her own boobs, and most babies will be okay on formula, but breastmilk and formula are about as similar as a special care unit is to a womb. I posted a few down on the evidence on why.

I am not saying this to be nitpicky or to have a go at you, because I appreciate you genuinely believe it to be the case (just as I did before I had my own LO) but this is a thread for pregnant women, and how can anyone make an informed choice if they don't have the honest information?

Sorry for any misleading info - thats what I was told by the peadeatricians - but jsut checked your info and its very informative - thanx! currently pg with dc2 and I'm defo bf this one - any more wrong advice from doctors will be taken with a pinch of salt cos they ruined my last bf experiences!

Oh God, I am so sympathetic on that front. I won't go into the saga of what happened with my son, I've done that on the breastfeeding pages, but if I had a tenner for every appalling bit of "help" I've had... to be fair though, I think doctors do want to help mothers who want to but really can't breastfeed, and to comfort them and reassure. (And lots of doctors actually don't know the difference in any detail - it's not taught as a priority in training, and until the 1970s doctors were actually taught formula was better anyway - as babies gain weight faster on it! Besides, lots of the research is recent.) But I think misinformation like that doesn't really do favours in the long-term, because people pass it on as fact, in perfect good faith.

Thanks for being so gracious - I really wasn't trying to contradict you for the sake of it, it's just that I believed it too before I researched it, as I say.

With my first, I was almost put off with midwives etc telling me breast was best. However, I tried it and got on really well. I have never expressed, never used a pump and yes, it does tie you to the baby a bit i.e. dad can't help with night feeds but I did it for a year and so pleased I did.

Also, no sterilising bottles, no warming up milk in the middle of the night and you get so good at it you can take the baby out of the cot/moses half asleep and just latch him/her on.

You do what YOU want to do. Its a very personal choice.

I breastfeed for many reasons, but there are downsides - lack of freedom to go out is the main one for me. The main thing that keeps me going is the number of nasty bugs there are around at the moment. I've had a couple of cold/flu type illnesses, as have dh and ds1, but ds2 has got through the winter relatively unscathed and I can't help but think its my breastmilk that has been protecting him. I couldn't live with myself if he got really sick and there was something I could have done about it.

babyc - It is entirely your choice. No-one else should dictate.

But if you want my experience it might be pertinent.

I have 3 DC. All of whom I bfed for long periods. 18m, 3 yrs, just over 4 yrs. In all that time I was working - fulltime with the first 2, part-time with the third. I couldn't get the hang of expressing (with or without a pump). And TBH there as so much else to do I couldn't find the time to sit down and do it anyway - it took me half an hour to manage a few oz. So once I went back to work they had formula at the CMs. But were bf morning, evening and during the night, and all day at weekends. It didn't seem to affect my supply in the slightest.

Now I know it isn't ideal, but for me it was the right compromise. It might work for you.

It's marvellous! - my little exclusively breastfed lad just got his first cold, I think, at 4.5 months. Still sleeping beautifully through the night, happy, not a shade of a temperature, just the odd tiny snuffle. He has slept through the night from 9 weeks.
His sister was also bf until 9 months and she is in fabulous health at 2 3/4 yrs.
My friend whose toddler gave it to mine hasn't been so lucky - her little chap, 4 months, bottlefed, has been really ill with the same cold, as he doesn't have the benefits of that amazing system Qally's post describes below (thanks for that!)

Don't get me wrong, it can be hard work - but others can help by winding and changing the baby even if you are breastfeeding all the time. But like moondog says below - it gets me through knowing that I am giving my baby the best thing in the world, made specially for him, and seeing him thrive on it.

CS does not affect your ability to breastfeed, also, the immediate skin to skin contact is not absolutely necessary, you will bond with your baby regardless. I had twins, EC at 37 weeks, no immediate skin to skin yet breastfed both. The colostrum comes in immediately after the birth, the nurse was helping me to collect it with syringe as she wanted to make sure the boys got the very last drop.

Even if you bottle feed the baby will still need feeding at night! There is some truth to the idea that bottlefed babies go through the night earlier though - due to formula milk being bulked out with stuff like vegetable oil.

Even if you are going back to work, you can still breastfeed when you are at home - if you establish your supply by feeding until you go back, in a few days it will respond to the decreased demand.

I bf'ed because I was lazy. Couldn't bear faffing around with bottles and sterelising and all that. Much simpler to stick baby on boob (after the first 2/3 weeks learning to latch).

I bf'ed Dd for 8 months. I went back to work at 6 and just continued the morning and night feed. (Again lazy, so no pump etc). It was going fine till I spent 1 week very late at work and she had bottles with dad instead and we stopped there. She had low muscle tone so always had great difficulty sucking so I felt it was great to have managed for 8 months and left it at that. (And it was a cs where I was groggy and showed no interest in her for the first day)

Don't beat yourself up about it. You'll do fine. Just don't give up at the first instance so you don't regret not trying later.