no shouting - why should I brestfeed?

[babyc]

Ok, I'm not looking for judgement, just advice. I am looking forward to the birth of my first child, however I have no desire to breastfeed past the first few weeks, when the baby will get all the anti-bodies etc he will need.
I would be happy to bf, but really don't want to have the whole breast pump/waking up in the night to express deal. I understand that it is natural, but I don't see what is natural about using a breast pump. I wasn't breast fed, because I wouldn't apparently, nor were several other babies I know, some not even for a few days, either because they wouldn't or mums didn't want to. I've noticed no difference in their health, or in IQ so I am wondering if it is worth it as I really don't want to and I am going back to work at 12 weeks (baby will be with dad). However, I don't want to not BF if it really is better. I'm having a CS so not sure how that fits in either? I feel like BF is something I HAVE to do, I've had a difficult pregnancy so far, so have only seen docs, not midwives, but will do shortly, I just feel like I'm already a bad mother if I consider not BFing.
Advice - not judgement please

For me i will be bf this baby when she arrives because i learned a hard lesson about what downfalls formula can cause to your new baby first hand.

With my dd1 i tried to bf but stopped after 1 day as she was tounge tied and found it difficult to latch and because of my lack of suport and self esteem so i switched to bottle she was fine and is a great big healthy 9 year old now. (you can check out her gorgeousnes on my profile)

But with dd2 i decided that i would not try and just went straight to bottle and formula, she never passed her first poo untill she was admitted to hosp 2 weeks after birth and was given an enima. Then she developed severe excema and screamed 24/7 in pain with this weeping constantly, also i had to give her glycerene suppositries every day to make her poo she was born at 8lbs 13oz and went down to 6lbs8oz due to being dairy intolerant but we only discovered this after the first 3 months

so we switched her to soya milk which helped a little but not much she was still suffering from severe constipation.

fast forward to 7 years she is doing ok now,but last dec she had to go ino hosp and have 17 teeth (all baby) removed because hey were so damaged due to acid reflux caused by the dairy. she was left with 3 teeth! she still has to take sachets for contipation and cant have any dairy. her first 2 years at school she had to have speech therapy and exta learning support. She is doing brill now and even top of her class but its been along haul to get here.

Sorry for the long post i'm no big push bf in your face type but i do firmly believe if i had bf her she would have had a much better start to life. An with that in mind i am going to do my damdest to make sure i can bf this baby and i dont plan to use a pump unless i cant bf then i will pump day and night to make sure my baby never goes through what her sister has.

There is no way of knowing if your chld can cope with formula i nobody in my fam have dairy problems.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

the reasons I would give you for breastfeeding are - it is so much more convienet - i never got up in the night at all! I just used to put dd in with me, feed her go back to sleep. I bottle fed my first child and that was a major faff - had to go into the kitchen, make up/heat up bottle etc....

secondly, it so much cheaper. No steriliser (or just a container and milton tablets cos not much to sterilise) no bottles, formula etc to buy.

And you can do it anywhere - no messing about with carrying packets/sachets, bottles of water, milk containers etc.

They are the main reasons I can think of but there are others as you know - babies tend to be healthier, there are health benefits for you etc....

I think it's always worth trying and it's good that you are going to. You will probably find that once you start you won't want to give up!

It's really nice to breastfeed and know yuo are giving your baby the best thing in the world,made by you for him.

It's the thing I am proudest of in the whole world, really.

After the first couple of weeks (DS was born at 35 weeks so was a bit tired feeding then) DS took about 5 minutes to feed in total. In the night I rolled over, picked him up from the cot, fed him whilst I was asleep, and then rolled back.

I went back to work full time when DS was 16 weeks old, back to travelling for work when he was 6 months old, and fed exclusively to 6 months and continued to bf till he was nearly 2. I wouldn't call expressing much fun, but it did give me an excuse to have a proper break at work, and let me get much thinner than I ever imagined

But seriously, it was really nice to have something that only I could do for him, and getting home from work and sitting down to feed a lovely snuggly baby was a great way to reconnect

BabyBaby you are so right about not getting up in the night, that's the best thing about BFing! Just reach over and lie baby next to you, when s/he wakes in the night then go back to sleep . I could not be arsed getting up and making a bottle EVER!

I just took it one day at a time, see how you get on. When you go back to work you will need to either pump or give formula during the day but there is no reason why you can't BF in the morning and evening only.

No advice here - just reassurance that you are not a bad mother, whatever you decide to do about feeding!

My only advice is don't choose a feeding method because you feel pressurised into doing it. Once you have your baby, you will know what feels right, whether it be bf or ff - and that means it is right for you and him/her.

(I will add that the best thing about FF-ing is that DH got up with ours every night, and I got some much-needed sleep!)

there's nothing you have to do

I went back to work when dd was 4 months and I honestly realised (when I started getting her onto bottles) what a faff they were, especially when you use them when they are young and need loads of feeds

whereas breastfeeding, you can just whip them out

(if you are lazy like me, that is a big consideration!)

even if you go back to work and she has bottles during the day (I too never got the hang of expressing), you might find you want or are able to breastfeed in the evenings.

It is well worth a go if you feel you even slightly fancy it.
I am a failed bfer as I didn't have mn at the time, but am still glad ds got a few weeks before I gave up.
Any breastmilk your lo gets is good for them, so try it , see how you feel and how you get on and DO NOT feel bad if you can't/don't like it. It is a wonderful thing and anyone who does it should be as proud as punch, but it is far from the end of the world if you ff.
Good luck, whatever you do.

Cmot, what you said here

'But seriously, it was really nice to have something that only I could do for him, and getting home from work and sitting down to feed a lovely snuggly baby was a great way to reconnect'

is so true.It was my way of 'reclaiming' them after a long day apart.

When I was pregnant I really wanted to bf, went to classes (NCT and hospital) and read all the literature. I was going to do it for at least 3 months, and didn't pay a single thought to bottle feeding.

When DS was born we struggled to bf for a week. For various medical reasons, after a week I made the decision to formula feed, with the full support of docs, midwives, bf councellors and DH. When we were eventually discharged, we came home via the supermarket to get bottles, formula etc.

My DS has been formula fed from his 8th day. He is bright and happy, strong and healthy and seems no different to the bf babies we know. I do not find making up bottles a faff.

On the other had, I have a contemporary who had no intention of bf'ing and whose DC would not take a bottle. But she is also now bf'ing happily.

Don't make any assumptions about what you can/want/will do to feed your baby. You may feel completely different once baby is here.Baby may have it's own ideas too!

I have not much advice other than do it

When its dark, warm, in the night and you hear the wind blowing outside - and you look down and your snuffly baby is feeding, the only noise you hear is the soft swallowing, their fuzzy hair, their little hands massaging you - it feels to me, anyway, that it could be just me and my baby in the whole world.

pinkbump3 i really wish you all the best x

hi i am very pro BFing ,however with my son i didnt BF at all ,had no support ,my mother couldnt BF me or my brother for separate health issues ,so didnt know what to do . My DD was BF for 13 months ,and do you know what ,they are exactely the same health/illness wise. However ,and i know i might get flamed for saying this ,but you do realise dont you that breast feeding aside ,you are not going to get a decent nights sleep/lie in for the next 5 yrs anyway

awww scorpio1,vcute

can I ask op what you think the benefits are? just wondering cos I know I had a vague 'breast is best' idea with ds1 but not much more than that. I've since found out things that never seem to be on the posters about bf,usually the longer you bf, the greater the benefits. here are a random few you might not have heard
eg less chance of rheumatoid arthritis as an adult
lower cardio vascular disease /lower blood pressure as an adult
that's plus all the usual 'less chance ofhospital admission for tummy bugs' stuff

it also greatly reduces the risk to you of breast cancer and ovarian cancer

I'm all for informed choice. I often wonder if the health benefits are really 'out there' so would be v interested to know what kind of info you have been given about benefits of bf so you can make a fully informed decision

(that's answering part ofyour q about whether it really is better)

as for how you'll feel, honestly,I think it's almost impossible to second guess how you'll feel once your baby arrives. don't stress and take things day by day would be my advice.

Have only read a few posts. OP give it a go and research as much as you can. kelly mom is a good site.

At the end of the day its up to you.

I'm a first timer too and hoping to breast feed, I say ''hoping'' as I know some women struggle.
My plan is to try it for 3 months, after that I don't see that the benefits are quite so great but if I really love it then I may carry on for longer.
I know that some ppl find that after a few months breast milk doesnt fill baby up for too long so a bottle at night helps them sleep longer.
Don't forger that there's also benefits in bf for u as well as baby, you lose weight, stomach contracts back to it's pre-pregnancy size and it reduces the chances of u getting some cancers.

If you cosleep with your new baby, you don't have to move out of bed and in some cases can sleep through the night feeds...bliss

I didn't have a desire to breastfeed, just felt I 'should' do it. Despite a poor start and an intention of trying to get to the 6 month mark and then stopping....I am now tandem nursing DD 2.5 years and DS 5 months !!!

Best of luck

when i was pg, like you i wasn't really sure if i wanted to bf, when dd was born i really wanted to, just wanted the best for her really.
found it really hard for the first 4 months
i wasn;t enjoying it i was only doing for the benefits to dd.
then really enjoyed the next 5 months she self weaned at 9 months and i felt very sad

i am now really into bf and trying to help suppport others.
makes me really sad when people say oh well it doesn't matter, as i feel its not informing woman of the truth, as personally ok i heard breast is best but i never really knew by how much and i bet theres many that are like what i was like
ill informed

so my advice is
wait till the babys born you may be suprised by your instincts to bf
if your finding it hard at first just keep going and get advice on here.

good luck

also bring the baby into the bed to bf is so wonderful.

Hi OP,

I BFed for 8 weeks, and had to express for the first 3 weeks (prem baby). I gave up and switched to formula and DS is stupidly healthy, with 1 tummy bug in 2.5 years. At the end of the day do what makes you and your baby happiest and do what's best for your family....

Don't really understand the pump thing? why do you need to pump? I have one,but have only used it when i got a blocked duct,and when dd went on a weekend nursing strike-certainly not part of my daily life!I agree with moondog,who said its the thing she's most proud of,that is just how I feel.I had a non-labour section for dd1 and bf was rather tricky to establish(partly due to tongue tie)but I am really proud that I stuck with the tricky first weeks,because it got so easy.dd2 was easy peasy,after another (but in labour this time)c-section.even dh says how proud he is of my determination to feed,I feel I have given my girls the best start,and yes they do get ill far less than ff babies,ime.It is lovely,it is rewarding,and it is just a beautiful,simple thing between you and your baby.

I've only read the Op but the one thing that springs to mind is that the first week/few weeks are the most difficult. If you only feed for those, you'll miss the bit where it becomes a piece of cake and it will taint your view of bf-ing.