no shouting - why should I brestfeed?

[babyc]

Ok, I'm not looking for judgement, just advice. I am looking forward to the birth of my first child, however I have no desire to breastfeed past the first few weeks, when the baby will get all the anti-bodies etc he will need.
I would be happy to bf, but really don't want to have the whole breast pump/waking up in the night to express deal. I understand that it is natural, but I don't see what is natural about using a breast pump. I wasn't breast fed, because I wouldn't apparently, nor were several other babies I know, some not even for a few days, either because they wouldn't or mums didn't want to. I've noticed no difference in their health, or in IQ so I am wondering if it is worth it as I really don't want to and I am going back to work at 12 weeks (baby will be with dad). However, I don't want to not BF if it really is better. I'm having a CS so not sure how that fits in either? I feel like BF is something I HAVE to do, I've had a difficult pregnancy so far, so have only seen docs, not midwives, but will do shortly, I just feel like I'm already a bad mother if I consider not BFing.
Advice - not judgement please

You really need to do what feels right for you when the time comes and not let others' opinions pressure you. I got fed up when pg of everyone pushing the bf,(my mum, nct group in particular) without giving info on what if you coldn't,didn't want to etc, that the rebellious side of me said i might not. As it turned out, my dd was really poorly when born and was drip fed intially. it took those two days of seeing her really poorly for me to have absolutely no doubt that i would try to bf. I had to express for the first few days so she could be tube fed once she was ok, then i was able to feed her myself. Bizarrely enough , i fed her for about 7 months, unitl i had to go back to work (and interestingly, longer than all my friends and nct gropu members!).

I took it one day at a time, and set myself little goals, one week ,two weeks, one month etc etc.
good luck and do what you feel is right for you both.

because you want to?
if you don't want to, don't.

i'd always encourage people to try, but i'm quite relaxed - it's one of the options available to you.

dd1 bf 6 months - she self-weaned as was too nosy to settle to me after that, even in a quiet, dark room lol, so she was bottle fed after that point so she could look around

ds1 - bf exclusively until 20 months (every 2 hours day and night, so i pulled the plug and he went cold turkey)

dd2 - fed ebm by nasogastric tube for 6 weeks, but i couldn't keep up with the pressures of expressing/ hospital visiting with 2 other small dcs - felt very guilty about it, but the world didn't end...

i'd start bf if i was you, see how it goes, and then mixed feed after you go back to work if you want to carry out bfing.

easy peasy.

I don't think you have to decide now whether to Bottle or breast feed. Get the equipment in, bottles steriliser etc, then give breast feeding ago when your baby is born. Take it day by day, and stop when you feel you are both ready to.

Personally I found breastfeeding easy, but expressing dreadfull, so didn't bother with it.

Has anyone mentioned you use up lots of calories breast feeding, and so it's much much easier to loose the baby weight, especially if you have a hungry baby.

Great link CantSleep-was just about to list a whole load of those!!
It is the most important thing you can do for your baby. The benefits continue far far longer than the first few days.
You may not have noticed huge differences in the health of friends/family who were/n't breastfed but that could be for several reasons (genetics, length of breastfeeding etc) and in my experience with dd (still breastfed at 2.5) she has prob less than a third of the illnesses of her friends and when she does get ill she is not nearly as ill, or ill for as long-and that was certainly not inherited from me as I have rubbish immunity.
Re pump-I have never ever used a pump and you certainly shouldn't under normal circumstances pump before 6 weeks.
It is free, easier than making bottles up, you can sleep whilst feeding, it would help you establish a strong bond before returning to work...there are so many other reasons...
The best place to ask this question would be in the breast/bottle feeding topic-you will get a lot of good advice there!

Ditto what Lynette said-I was back to pre baby weight within a week-and I was eating like a horse so it must have been breastfeeding

sammysam - I didn't like to say I was back to my pre-pregnancy weight within two weeks with DS1 (I too was eating like a horse)....he was a big hungry baby...sadly my DS2 and DD were smaller and less hungry.

sammysam

some women.....me included.....retain mountains a bit of fat while BFing. At least that's what I comfort myself with.

Because you might like it. I didn't but I'm glad I tried, took 3wks to be comfy with it, then did it til about 4m. Am v chuffed with myself rather than feeling guilty.
Occasionally it comes really easily to people and you never know that could be you.

I had both of my children by CS. It took a while for DD (first born) to get latched on, but with a little perseverance we got there in the end and I happily BF her till she was 7 months. DS was no problem and milk came in very quickly. I BF during the day and made a formula feed for the last feed at night - a bit of mix & match. I found this really useful, as it mean't i could have evenings free from around 7pm. I only BF DS for 7 weeks as I had to go on medication. I am pregnant with 3rd child, only 6 weeks. But this time around I will be bottle feeding BUT this is only because I had a breast reduction 4 years ago and can no longer BF . I think you just need to do what feels right for you. You should give it a go, if it works then great, if it doesn't then at least you tried and can be pleased with yourself that you did . x

God this is tmi - but is it possible to BF with erm.. smaller nipples? The nipples themselves aren't small, they just don't protrude much (to the point of almost looking inverted at times!) unless i'm freezing or have DP fiddling about

Yes it is, you'd be surprised what they will go through.

I didn't think I would want to bf dd1 past the first 6 weeks but when I actually started to bf her, there was no turning back. I had a difficult start and quitting at the first hurdle just was not going to happen. And then when I thought how hard I had to 'work' to make breastfeeding work for me, like hell was I going to give up 'just like that'.

NOt everyone will react like this in a similar situation but what I am trying to say is that becoming a mother changed me in ways I could not have imagined and taught me things about myself that I never really knew. Breastfeeding was a part of that evolution for me. It has been a part of a journey into my soul.

Good luck with however you will feed your baby.

Bottle feeding is not necessarily easier in the first few weeks either. Some babies take ages to feed, regardless of which method you choose.

I have only used a pump to provide express milk for dd1 in nursery. DD2 is 17 wks old and I have not used a pump yet.

I'm really sorry but I haven't read all the posts so please forgive me if everything has been said already.

I just wanted to say- firstly just relax about it all.

If you are able to then BF is generally a lot easier, particularly in the beginning with all the night feeds.

However, I was chatting to a friend who is working on a long term study about BF mothers and their children (Psychology PhD) and they have shown that BF can raise IQ by up to 20pts (or conversely, not BF can lower IQ by the same amount). I thought this was quite a good incentive!

You just need to see how it goes
You might find after 6 weeks you don't want to stop
It's just one of those thigs that you can't predict how it is going to go or how it will make you feel

before you have children you get used to planning and timetabling your life
Once you've had the baby you won't be able to plan any more
You have to do what feels right at the time
You might not want to go back to work when the baby is 12 weeks for example
You really have to wait and see

Have a good read of the info csws posted and see how you feel when baby is born.
I originally set myself a target of 6 weeks, then extended it to 6 months and ended up feeding dd for over 2 years!
Your breasts do adjust to different amounts required too, I was back at work full time before dd was 8 wks old and still fed in the morning and after work/at night(like you, am main wage earner - work mostly from home and dh works pt and has kids pt) I also have to go to head office for 3-4 days each quarter and still carried on feeding when I got back.
Hope to do same with ds (currently on knee bfing but only 6 weeks old!)
Good luck and make sure you get good support - great your dp is pro bf

shewillbeloved, if your breast are really engorged in the early days then you might struggle to get the baby latched on, but expressing a little milk off by hand will help. There are devices you can buy for pulling out inverted/flat nipples if you are struggling, but you probably won't need that.

Have a read of www.kellymom.com on the subject if you are worried

daisy and buckets me too...grrrrrr

does go when i stop though!

ha, I never stopped as I got pregnant again. One day I will be thin.

think about breast feeding from a personal point of view -
Its a great excuse to sit and watch telly when you're knackered
its a great excuse to get your baby back from overly possessive MILs
Its a great excuse not to diet imeddiatelt you've had the baby
You can go shopping/to friends houses/ flights/cinema etc, without ever worrying whether you have enough supplies with you
You don't have to hang around in the middle of the night waiting for the milk to warm up, and then waiting for it to cool down again whenits got too hot
You don't have to faff around sterilizing bottles when you're in a rush.

i'm sure teir are hundreds of ff tips too, but don't rule it out!!

Daisy can i say that you are beautiful just as you are.

aw.....bless you foxytocin

Am on way out, but wanted to post on this.

Try it, see how it goes. It is better, there's no question about that, both for baby and for you (for things like breast cancer, osteoporosis, etc). You only need to take it one feed at a time - in fact, that's all anybody need do. And you can do one feed, and then one more feed, can't you?

The antibody thing isn't just about the first few weeks, that's an ongoing thing for as long as you breastfeed (and bf affords protection past when you stop - I can prob dig up some links to that later).

It's far harder to bottlefeed to begin with then change your mind and start breastfeeding.

So try it - you have nothing to lose because you don't know what it'll be like for you. Don't worry about the pumping thing, or going back to work, or any of that - they're bridges to cross as and when you get to them. Breastfeeding will be established by 12 weeks so it'll be more straightforward to makes decisions about what to do then.

And the fact you're giving it so much thought now means you'll research where to get help (links to all breastfeeding helplines plus discussion of issues relating to bf here). You're doing a good thing thinking about it now. And you never know - you might love it.