Pregnancy After Miscarriage Part VII - Gusset Reporters and Knicker Checkers welcome

[SparkyMalarky]

oooh, I do love a new thread

4ever will be thinking of you tomoro. Much love.

youknownothing what a tosser your d h is. You DO have the right, and need, to be cotton wool wrapped and be able to be yourself right now and your dh is clearly an arse. Stab him in his sleep - you are pregnant and will get away with it...

Althernatively keep using us on here as much as you need to!

Argh! What's going on with the site??

4ever - thinking of you and your dh today. So sorry that this has happened to you again. Please look after yourself and hope to see you with better news when you feel ready x.

dan- it's the credit crunch - MN have obviously had to tighten their belts so fancy-shmancy graphics are out of the window from now on. We'll be reduced to bean tins on string next!

Bit of a bad day yesterday. Found out that the company we have ordered our pram from have gone into liquidation. Great! Dh was assured that all orders would be honoured by an overseeing company, but I don't trust them. They are getting a delivery in today apparently. I am going to pop down there and camp on their doorstep until they give me my/any pram. I've got hormones and I'm not afraid to use them!!

I am considering going in with a water-filled balloon in my jeans pocket and bursting it if they try to fob me off. "Oh no, look what all this stress has done. Give me my pram now and I won't labour on your showroom floor!"

Then the ANC called and said that they would have to move my cs date to 17.02. as there is no consultant anaesthetist to cover the list. Bah! Did say that I was bringing my own anyway, (dh) so couldn't we just go ahead on the Monday? They didn't seem to get the irony .

Plus, I have to go for another scan to check placenta position (even though cons said I didn't need to the day before). Sensible I suppose as it is anterior and I don't really fancy them slicing through it. Just wonder why they make scan depts so bloody uncomfortable and how they can manage to be 40 minutes behind with appointments first thing in the morning?

The little man is still OP as well, so I look like something out of a Sigourney Weaver film most of the time. Fantastic to watch!

So, hopefully that means that my 3 bits of not so great luck are out of the way. Suppose I have had a pretty troublefree pg this time around and so am grateful that there have been no other upsets along the way.

Better go and hit the books. Nearly done with the project management gubbins (thank the lord), and have done almost half of the other essay. Just have to work out what to put in a costings report for a student drop-in multimedia lab - cornflake, any suggestions?

ditto dan what is going on with this site? i haven't come here for a few weeks and it's all different now! any sign of your baby arriving yet?

i've only managed to scan the first couple of pages and just wanted to say very sorry to 4ever - thoughts are with you this morning. hope it all goes fine and as dan says, please keep posting here.

i am finally on maternity leave! hurray! i've hardly been on here as have been in a state of deep sleep most days after work. hopefully things will get a bit more sane.

wmmc - i also saw my hosp on thurs to get an elective c section date - it's feb 23. it's nice to have a date down but in many ways feel it's still a long wait! sounds like your schedule is very hectic with all the papers to do in btwn!!

wheely i totally know what you mean about still being paranoid at 34 weeks. i am 36 weeks and keep thinking of all these terrible thoughts of what can still go wrong. this has so messed with my head. when my friends say - oooh exciting you'll have a baby soon, i always say well, fingers crossed, who knows etc and they look at me like i am mad....

mumface congrats on good scan. it's a lovely relief isnt it?

hello to everyone else - will have to go back and do some more reading up.

Thanks dan - mn is a great place to get out the whinges. I used my number one hormone-weapon last night and just burst into tears (very unlike me). It stopped him in his tracks and he actually managed to comfort me for a bit. Which was nice, but shouldn't be such an oddity

Thinking of you 4ever hope you get lots of support today.

mumface that's great news.

wmmc I don't know how you can even think at the moment, let alone write essays. I have to say I put my teacher training, career change, on hold back in October. Which considering SPD was a very good thing. Am in awe

bunny enjoy the maternity leave! I agree with that feeling of being pregnant and sort-of securely pregnant, but that doesn't mean I'm having a baby until the second it's in my arms. I was exactly the same with ds2, it wasn't real or fully to be enjoyed until he looked at me for the first time. And then I literally stayed awake for 24 hours just staring at him with a big grin on my face

bunny I'm so . Enjoy your maternity leave!!! I too am too tired most of the time after work to post so spend most of my day off on Friday on here to the detriment of my house work. I find it really scary everyone knows I'm pg now (there's no hiding the protruding belly) and try and change the subject as soon as I can. I honestly thought I'd have conquered some of the fear by 28wks.

youknownothing here's a great big kick to put up your DH's arse. I'm glad he did stop and offer a wee bit of comfort - shame it had to be as a result of tears rather than picking up on the usual subtle times. Pg after mc can be a really lonely place and we need lots of TLC. At least we can turn to each other in here.

wmmc poor you, I hope the pram thing gets sorted out! Fingers crossed that#s your bad luck out of the way. Good luck at scan and OMG your baby will be here in 17 days!!!!!!!!!!! Def try the water balloon at the shop tho' - that'll teach them!

dan any twinges yet?? Hurry up, I want your review of the Stokke xplory!

I'm having another weepy day - have posted about aspirin in a new thread but am at my consultant and want to punch her in the face. Don't think that would go down too well and seeing as I won't be seeing her unless something goees drastically wrong I'm hoping it's just hormones making me feel like this.

hi everyone after finally becoming a bit more relaxed had massive bleed on wed-well the hosp call it significant bleed. so had few days in hosp- due to placental bleed and cervical erosion dont know how cos apparently sex causes cervical erosion and as u know theres been none of that!! n e one else had similar experiences?x

hi scotlass as if you havent got lots to worry about already - so sorry to hear about the aspirin thing. virtual punches to consultant fully allowed here! sending you good vibes... sure you will be fine. you're at 28 weeks! that's really fab news.

youknowofthecrunch yeah bring on the tears - men are clueless sometimes - they are lucky that their bodies aren't being assaulted from all angles (senses, aches, hormones etc) - if they even had half the dose of what we go through, they would be in bed for the full 9 mths!

tis the anniversary of second mc tomorrow dh thought i was silly for being sad during anniversary of first mc (10 weeks) he will think i am totally bonkers for even remembering the second mc, which was "only" 5 weeks. but there you go, i am thinking and feeling sad, i dont know why when i can feel little bunny kicking away and am sporting a huge watermelon belly. i should be grateful (dh thinks i am a drama queen for focusing on the negative stuff when we have moved onto a more positive pg). sigh. maybe it will all go away as youknow says, when i have babe in arms...

Sorry your dh isn't more understanding bunny. Just because your pregnant now doesn't mean you don't still grieve for the two babies you lost. This baby does not replace them in some way. It took me a really long time to realise that when I threw myself into conceiving again I wasn't being positive and looking forwards, I was trying to bring the baby I lost back. Which was the one thing I couldn't do. It was only when I accepted that, that I began healing properly (and that was more than a year later, I'm a slow learner).

When you have the baby in your arms you will be secure in the knowledge that you have that baby. But if you're anything like me you will still feel sad for what you've lost. Time does heal.

It is the only sort of grief where people think it's appropriate to say "At least you've got another one". We wouldn't say it if a sibling died, "At least your sister's still here" or if it was one parent, "At least you've still got your dad", but people do think that one baby simply replaces another.

Ramble over - and I know it's different for everyone, this is just how I feel about it all.

scotlass on your behalf. I hate consultants.

maz sorry no experience of this, but I believe cervical erosion can happen without having had sex and is quite common. Hope someone with more knowledge comes along soon.

Thanks youknow - you are so right about being pg again not taking the pain away of losing your other babies. And if I had a pound for every time someone has said to me 'at least you have DD', 'at least you know you can get pg' and 'you can have abother one' I'd be rich - but it doesn't help me particularly to hear it even though I know I'm lucky deep down. This rollercoaster ride won't stop till we have babe in arms - then there's plenty of other stuff to deal with!!

maz I had a bleed at about 16wks and it was put down to cervical erosion (Dr did a vaginal examination). He said it can be common as your cervix softens during pg and the inner bit kind of comes out a bit - not very technical but hope you get the drift. Mine was in no way related to sex (bit hard when we live 400 miles apart) and I haven't had any bleeding since >

bunny thinking of you tomorrow - I hate the anniversaries, Jan and Feb are always going to have a tinge of sadness for me too.

Hi All

scotlass - just seen MW and she had no idea about when to stop with the aspirin so no help there ! I go to the consultant clinic in 2 weeks so will ask then as well although looks like from your other thread it is ok.

Bunny - enjoy the maternity leave. I hope you get through the anniversary ok. It is exciting about the c-sec date.

WMMC - Sorry to hear your date has been changed but its sooo not far away.

All these c-section dates makes me think I should change my mind and go for a c-sec so I have a date to work to . I never was any good at uncertainty !!

Youknow - sorry again about your arse of an H.

Maz - sorry to hear about your bleed. No experience here but hoping all is ok for you.

Just had 34 week check at MW, all fine. Took a while to find the heartbeat and then I asked what it was (why ? I ask you ??) and it was 125-135 which seemed kind of low to me. However, the logical side of me says - I know it is on the low side - i.e. has never been more than 145 and it was still and quiet so probably asleep so logically would be lower. But am a headcase so of course, I need to worry about it !

ok have just googled and found that the heart rate in last few weeks in 110-150 so pretty much in the middle so I will shut up now.

4ever sorry to hear your news, hope you have got through today ok

wrt aspirin, I am still taking it at 32 weeks, seeing the consultant on monday for placenta scan and plan to decide about stopping aspirin - anti-phospholipid result awaited as they couldn't process the first sample (but no-one told me at the time), if still have placenta praevia then good reason for stopping aspirin asap, apparently risk of stopping it is IUGR/ pre-eclampsia but birthweights of ds1 and 2 would suggest thats unlikely to be a problem. But if you have abnormal clotting then reason for staying on it. Ha nothing simple eh.
Will report back on monday with any pearls of wisdom on this topic. In the meantime I have also been taking it on alternate days in a half-hearted manner for the last week, difficult to know what is best when you are taking it on basis of recurrent mc rather than proven clotting abnormality.

On a more positive note, have just finished work today

Hello!!

I've been awol for a few weeks, and not because I wanted to be.

BT helpfully screwed up our phone line (joy) so no internet! Then there was the small issue of moving house.

Can I just make a recommendation here - do try not to move house when you're 30+ weeks pregnant. Didn't have a choice though as I had been living in a mobile home and the site didn't allow children... it all got a bit nasty and we were lucky to get a council bungalow. In the last couple of days before the move DH discovered a nest of rats under our bedroom!! I am so glad to be out.

We spent a week stripping wallpaper (no choice there either - it was psychedelic) and painting. Painting skirting boards was a laugh - not - and bean let me know I'd been squishing her by thumping the heck out of me.

Anyway, all done now. No carpets, but who cares!

I've managed to get to 32 + 2 and seem to have gone suddenly very tearful, and the size of a house. I have a growth scan on Monday which should be interesting. Bean is making big movements now that actually hurt. Yesterday she twanged something in the fanjo region that almost made me claw a lump out of the sofa it was so painful. Thankfully she only did it the once.

I wish it was the end of March!

Sorry for the me me me post - I promise to be a better poster now I have the internet back

grinning welcome back and well done on the move. I know exactly what you mean aboout the movements hurting! Mine have been like pinches, or like bean has a cocktail stick and is stabbing me! kicking, my arse, its full on assault from the inside! I have got used to it now (39+3!!?) but thats' not to say it doesn't sill hurt! the ones up/down the fanjo make me rise out of my seat sometimes!

Also might be getting too fat to drive - the steering wheel seems to have moved towards me! Mesured 40cms yesterday, dear god let that be it on the growing front...

Right, so - paranoia corner. Now worrying about being late/induced/stillbirth. Saw something about placental lakes and it didn't seem to be somewhere to go have a picnic...those of you who have done this before, what do you think about going over dates? I want to avoid induction because it seems to increase risks of other interventions too - but at what point do I agree? Inclied to think I camn just aske for monitoring for me and babe, then say 'no thank you I will wait' but I don't want a battle at this stage.

Hi dan - speaking as someone nearly a week overdue I really don't want to be induced and am trying everything to avoid it. Currently have a date for induction for Sunday week but am thinking of getting this changed. You don't have to be induced before 3 weeks if you don't want to be, but it may involve some battling - it has for me. Best to go into your last ante-natals with a clear idea of how long you want to wait for and don't take no for an answer. They can't do anything without your co-operation! Have sweep booked for Wednesday myself.

On the aspirin front, I was told to stop taking it at 36 weeks.

• have just been lurking for a while, as trying not to get dispirited about overdueness. May lurk for a bit now as well.

grinning welcome back - moving at your stage of pg sounds horrendous, I am in awe, I can barely bend down to load the tumble dryer before the heartburn grips me like a vice!! Good luck tomorrow with your growth scan.

dbno Thanks for aspirin info. I think I'm going to carry on taking it till 36wks now as there's lots of you have had that advice from your more helpful Drs. Am going to stay away from the particular pharmacy so I don't get more paranoid. Although there wasn't anything abnormal found on my tests that's not to say there isn't anything so I suppose it's about weighing up the risks. Don't despair, your baby will be here soon I can feel it in my waters. Fingers crossed you pop before your induction date.

dan with DD I went 4 days over - did spend a mammoth day at a garden festival thing walking around from 10 - 5pm but meant I was knackered throughout the labour. Have to say I did try the curry and sex too but who knows I think she just came cos she was ready. I would say remember dates can be out but as most of us here are dated on early scans and they are thought to be more accurate that maybe doesn't apply. (I'm nearly a week later on my scan dates than my LMP date) so I suppose that means I'd be happy to go 2 weeks over which if was on LMP date I'd actually be 3 weeks over. I agree with dbno have in your head what you're happy with and be clear that's what you would like. Remember normal term pg is normally believed to be anything from 37 - 42weeks.

I feel better today. I think I had a virus which was making me run to the toilet which in turn wore me out and made me really sorry for myself. DD was up all night on Friday vomiting and having diarrhoea (poor wee soul) but luckily DH had just got home for weekend so took care of her. He also suggested we go pram shopping so we bought a pram - why does this feel like a huge psychological thing? Went for a bugaboo chameleon and got a great deal - local shop price matched with kiddisave.com and we got a bargain apparently as she said their prices are going up on Monday.

Hope everyone has had a good weekend

Ooh pram!! I like the chameleon - what colour? ( what a girly question...)

Getting paranoid about less movements today but logically it's gotta be a space issue hasn't it?

Dan - Am sure it is a space issue but if you are concerned the hospital won't mind if you go in for a check. Could be the calm before the storm ?

DBNO - sorry you're feeling fed up. I hope it all gets moving soon.

Scotlass - sorry you've not been well. I seem to be suffering from ad hoc diarrhoea again. I think it must be hormones/ baby pressure or tiredness (it seems to come on after a busy day) or something. Sigh....

Ah well - 6 weeks ish to go here and DH and I just can't agree on names. He seems to not even consider any names I come up with so I have made him sit down with the name book again. We have a couple of possibilities but I am being awkward because they're his names not mine. He did come up wiht dd's name which I wasn't convinced about at the time but love now so I suppose he does do a good job but that's not the point.....

I must get my hospital bag sorted this week. I have promised dh I will have it done by 35 weeks which is friday. I hadn't packed when I was admitted at 37 weeks last time and it made things even more stressful so, am planning a trip to mothercareworld on tuesday to get sorted.

Welcome back Grinningbee - my fellow March-er !

Waves to everyone else and particularly hopes everyone in the early phase is holding up ok.

Wheely get that bag packed!

On the names front I have had the same prob with dh - he just rubbishes every suggestion I make but hasn't actively come up with anything! Having said that he has become more engaged in the idea in the last week (being as big as a house might have prompted him...) and we now have a small shortlist (from my original list).

I think its your turn if your dh got to chose last time!

Still not sure what to do about less movement...the hosp is 30 - 40 mins away...am dithering. Am sure its okay but would be surer if she had a little dance for me!

Also - feel a bit ungrateful as sis just broght me round loads of stuff from a friend of hers and lots of it is a bit smelly and ..well, I don't like it. Am I awful to want to take it to charity? In fact I am not even sure about that cos it smells...and am not sure how washable it all is? Will wash babygym, feeding pillow cover, and keep some plastiv pull along toys and maybe try the duplo (?big lego?) stuff in the dishwasher - but the rest is out, methinks. What an ingrate I am.

I agree it should be my turn but dh is having none of it. As I say, I suspect I am being a bit awkward because his fave girl's name is one I've liked for ages but its just become a bit fashionable which is making me think twice about it. Boy's names - he did admit today that one name I keep coming back to goes well with our dd's name so he might be making a concession. We'll see.

I know he's planning on me being in the same place in my head just after I'd had dd when I was adamant she needed a name right that second so said she had to be what she is (Anna). He did try and persuade me to wait until the cold sober light of day but I was having none of it. Its a good job it suits her and I love it now !!

Anyway, I hope your LO starts giving you a right old boot soon. Do you have a doppler to check ??

As for the stuff from your sister - I know what you mean. I have decided to buy a new bouncy chair/rocker thing even though I know I could probably get a second or third hand one from my brother (I got rid of our one from dd as she detested it !) like I want but know it'll be in a poor state. Mind you, this little one isn't going to have much to call its own as most is hand-me-downs from dd so I don't feel too bad.

4ever ? we haven?t ?met? before, but I?m so so sorry for your news. I hope you?ll be able to get some answers for why this keeps happening. Glad you have a wonderful DH to support you.

Scotlass ? hope you?re feeling a bit less anxious now ? like wheely says, though, there?s no way not to have the odd panic. There you are feeling ?healthy and well? and suddenly the fear can just come out of nowhere. And that?s what we?re here for Glad you?re feeling better from the virus, and your new pram sounds great. It?s fab when you start to get organised with the things you need. We bought a haul of goodies from Mothercare yesterday, and it was great fun.

Wheely ? I haven?t been sick, but I?m definitely feeling as if there?s less room and I take ages to digest, so I feel like the food is in danger of coming back up (sorry, tmi) ? I?m trying to eat a bit less, and to eat less in one sitting, but I?ve been such a pig during my pregnancy that it?s hard to remember to restrain myself. What time do you eat dinner? I?m thinking of not eating after 7 to minimise feeling sick at night ? maybe that would help.

Youknownothing ? Grr for you, but glad the tears had an effect ? useful that you?re not normally given to them.
I loved reading about you staring at DS2 for 24 hours. I can?t wait!

Wmmc ? boo about your pram ? how distressing ? lol about your water balloon plan, though.

Bunny ? happy maternity leave!

Maz ? hope all OK for you now. I have cervical erosion, but not had a bad bleed, just spotting ? however, that most certainly wasn?t caused by sex - it can be spontaneous too, they tell me at the labour ward.

Grinning ? well done on the move ? and I empathise with the battering you and dan have been getting. It?s quite reassuring (for me) to hear, actually. I was starting to feel a little concerned that Bo was moving so violently because he was distressed or something ? glad to hear it?s normal

Dan ? I?ve heard that reflexology is fantastic if they are threatening to induce you. Can?t remember if I?ve said this before, but might be worth checking out if there?s someone in your area that you could book an appointment with if you do go over. On the movement front, is there anything that is guaranteed to make bubba move? I find pelvic-floor exercises work if I haven?t felt Bo for a while? And you?re not an ingrate. I had a sort out yesterday of things we?ve been given and chucked out anything that seemed just a little bit too ?pre-loved?. Don?t feel guilty ? you?re not obliged to like or keep the things you are given. I?m already gearing up to get rid of any baby pink stuff if we have a girl (I loathe baby pink, it makes my stomach turn ? and baby blue?s not much better!)

All good here - can't get to work as no trains or buses, so am sitting in bed finally catching up with MN and trying not to worry about the pile of work on my desk from my day off on Friday.

xx to all

Hello all. I'm 'stranded' at home due to the snow too. Madness - I only live seven miles from work, in Docklands, but transport has just ground to a halt.

Currently neurotic about some off custard i ate yesterday at MIL's. Didn't eat much, as it was rank, but it turns out to have been opened in the fridge for a month! With an 'eat after three days of opening' label on it. It's not egg custard, or anything, just Birds ordinary, but I can't help having neurotic thoughts along the lines of 'I get this far, after four MCs, and the baby gets killed by some custard'. Am I mad?

You have my sympathies herb - dh got into work (in the City) but now cannot get back. I'll probably go into bloody labour now.

Don't worry about the custard - I had vile food poisoning during my pg with dd and she is fine. Is only really an issue if you are ill to a degree requiring hospitalization.