TTC grads - the one where the old temp buddies come home to roost!!!!

[rainbowdays]

The old thread was getting impossibly slow on my computer, so decided that it was time to create a new one with hopefully Rah and Ready joining us, and with a whole new due date list.....

so MrsM, Momwi - come and start the list and hopefully Rah and Ready will come here now too!!!!!

I am so excited that the temp buddies are back together again, can you tell?!?!?!?

Sob. I wish I knew what to do for the best - H has had 3 catnaps of 30mins today, I cannot get her to sleep more... cot or pram 30 mins only - this is genuinely why I think she isn't gaining huge amounts of weight - that coupled with how active and alert she is - I can't stop her, kicking and chatting, even when I just cuddle her, she won't drop off, she just looks and looks and looks!! She only cries when she is tired, which is a lot more now with the catnaps.
I have been offering her the other side since the HV said I should and now neither breast ever feels full. And H will only go 6 minutes on either side before pushing away. I just keep offering and switching, it's getting really stressful for both of us - and feeding had been going so well until I started offering both sides How do I undo this??
H has only gained 2oz in a fortnight though - even for bf, that sounds low, doesn't it? She has dropped from 50th to 25th.

I am really selfish , I just come here to get help... how is everyone doing? Rained out?

Not that I would want to stop her chatting, you understsnd - she's a real joy!!

Oh, and lots of wet nappies... the pooey ones have got fewer as she has got older, but 1-2 a day I'd say. I read that was normal as they get older.

Ready- please please please stop worrying- as I said Dex dropped his weight and was fine. Little babies do not sleep for very long in day- 30 mins is fine. Of course she is looking about- the world is fascinating- she must be a very clever little girl. It sounds like you should maybe leave H a bit longer in between feeds so that she gets really hungry- perhasp she is snacking a bit. How often do you feed her? I would leave her a bit longer and let her feel hungry- it may also make your breasts get fuller if you make the gap a bit longer.
Do your breasts feel full when you feed at night? Your milk will not suddenly stop- make sure you are eating and drinking enough yourself- you need extra calories when BF.
Big hug x

YES! My breasts feel full when she wakes for feed. I had been going 4 hours between feeds, and even then she wasn't crying for it.It was the health visitor who said I should feed her more often as 4 hours was too long. I do now think she may be snacking, whereas before she would really go for it after 4 hours, and I only ever offered the other side when she fussed, which she went through a phase of doing a few weeks back, then sometimes of an evening if I had been busy I felt my milk supply was less... but as a rule I had only offered one side and she seemed fine... bloody centile charts!!!!!!
Thanks for all the support!! What would I do without you guys!!!

Ready- I would really recommend giving your local NCT breastfeeding counsellor a ring or pop down to one of their BF clinics (find details on their web page). As Rainbow said- it is really important that H gets all the hindmilk as well as the foremilk- and if she seems satisfied with one side then that is fine. . I really can't stress how silly those charts are- they are only a guide- weigh H less often then when she has put on x amount in 1 month it will seem a lot!

DS1 scored 2 goals in his footie match today and got the 'man of the match' award! [proud mum emoticon ]

Hi again ready - yep just offer the one boob, by all means if she comes off, wind her (although she should not need it) and then offer her same boob. If she takes it, then great, if not then don't worry, she has had enough. If you keep going with switching boobs she will become accustomed to the foremilk which is sweeter and taster and will start looking for that more, it is like offering a child a sweet drink before a meal time, they can fill up on the drink and then not want so much food. So do just stick to one side each feed session, but if H is coming off to look around and being distracted, offer her the same boob again when she is ready.

Up to about 6 weeks then babies do need to be fed every three to four hours, but after that then you can start gradually adjusting feeds, so that they move to more "meal-time" feeds, so during the day: breakfast, lunch, teatime, and before bed, and then a nighttime feed. The night-time feed can be dropped by around 4 months, but some babies don't like going that long, so nearer to 6 months. However, some babies are snack-y babies, they like to graze feed rather than having big gaps. Their bodies are capable of going longer, but they like the comfort of the snacking (and having the sweeter foremilk!). That is great if it suits mum and baby, but otherwise you can start to go longer between feeds. Some babies also revert to wanting snacking when teething, as the sucking action soothes the sore gums. Also next thing is that around this time, you will stop feeling "full" with your breasts, as your supply is now matching H's. So don't be thinking how full/empty your boobs are, it is not a helpful guide now. You will feel more full if you have had a longer gap between feeds than normal, but your body will now have adjusted to H's needs.

Try to forget what the HV said, just know you were doing the right things and H's weight is ok, even if she put on nothing this week, with being alert and having wet nappies is a very very good sign she is thriving on your milk. As for dirty nappies, breastfed babies can go for upto 3 days without poo-ing and this is normal.... because the milk is matched to their needs, there is less excess to excrete. But you do need to be sure that their are wet nappies each day. A breastfed baby with dry nappies during the day is a dehydrated baby with not getting enough food. But this does not sound like your H. Sounds like she is doing great. You are doing well Ready, just keep up the good work.

Honey - well done on your ds1 being man of the match, you should be a proud mummy for that definitely. My ds1 has just started football.

Well done on man of the match - proud Honey
I presume his team won? What position does he play?

Thanks girls for the bf help. I guess I will just see how much she has put on at clinic on tuesday (they asked me to come) and go from there.

She seems really happy and healthy, alert, active, smiley... even slept for 1.5 hours at lunch!!!!! Oh and plenty of heavy wet nappies

Ready- glad to hear H is a smiley girl- she sounds gorgeous. Some great advice from Rainbow.

Rainbow- ever thought of doing BF counselling? You'd be fab!

As for the footie- they actually ended up with a 3-3 draw- but they were 3-1 down for a while until DS1 managed to equal . He plays midfield. He plays for a local team and is also in the team at school. DP does the footie on weekend whilst I take DD dancing- so unfortunatley I wasn't there to see the goals.

Made a yummy choc cake today to take to my SIL (going now) and poor Dex is so frustrated cos I won't let him have a slice yet. He keeps wailing 'CAAAAAKKKKEEEE' at me.

I think she's gorgeous

A goalfest then!! What dancing is it? I always wanted to tapdance when I was a girl

I think she's gorgeous

A goalfest then!! What dancing is it? I always wanted to tapdance when I was a girl

OOOh chocolate cake! I could murder a piece right now, I will join Dex's shouts

Oooh er, what happened there!?

Hmmmm - honey pass some choc cake here please, I was going to bake one earlier then decided to veg in front of tv, now I wish I had made one afterall!!!!! please pass me a piece of your cake....PLLEEEEAAAASE !!!!!

Ready - dare I admit to being part of a "Black and White Minstral Show" as a child and tap-dancing my little heart out!!!!! gulp, gosh I have not thought about that in such a long time,and now wonder if anyone less than my age will actually remember the black and white minstral show on tv?????? (not that I was on tv at that time)

at showing my age again

Ready - found these websites for you of breastfeeding weight charts but also you should read this other advice

Ready- DD does Modern and then Ballet on a saturday- Jazz on a monday... no tap as yet! (Too noisy for me ).

Rainbow- sorry choc cake all eaten up! Devoured by 7 cousins.

hello ladies

thankyou all so much for your advice!! im totally clueless about bf'ing as with ds1 i planned to but he has a tongue tie and found it very hard and frustrating, as i had got on so well with formula for him i planned to use formula again but when ds2 was born he took to the breast so well i thought it would be a shame not to perservere with it, and i have to say i really am enjoying it and i can totally see breast is best even though he has a slight tongue tie too it doesnt seem to trouble him.

so il tell you all my birth story.......

thursday evening i had been having very strong BH and back pain which was coming quite regular so i thought things were kicking off but they tailed off towards the end of the night.
friday morning woke up and all was fine but then at about 9am i started getting period cramps and you could visibly see my stomach contracting. they were coming every 10/15 mins lasting only about 30 secs. this continued throughout the day sometimes getting stronger and then tailing off again.
By 6pm they were every 5-7 mins lasting nearly 60 secs so i decided to call the labour ward and let them know even though it was not very painful, when i phoned i was told there was not a midwife on duty in my area and to wait for a phonecall from someone out of the area. i received a call about 30mins later and the first thing she said to me was "im sorry you are not going to like what i have to say but you will need to get yourself to hospital as i am the only midwife on duty and it is not safe to deliver without 2 of us" after hearing this i told her i was not going to hospital unless there was a problem with me or the baby during labour. so she said you are refusing to go to hospital so i told her yes. so she said she would have to make some phonecalls but would come and assess me anyway and take it from there.
In the meantime i made a phonecall to an NCT friend who runs the homebirth group and she clarified i am quite within my right to refuse to go into hospital and it is their duty to send a midwife.
7:00pm the midwife turns up apologises and said she would be happy to do the homebirth alone aslong as i understand the risks, and she has a supervisor who would come out if neccessary to assist but she did not want me to deliver in the pool. I said we would just see what happened and go withthe flow during the labour.
she examined me and i was 3cm but she said this could be just because it is my 2nd baby and things could go either way at this stage, tail off or i could go into labour but for now i was not in labour. she left and went back to the hospital and said she goes off duty at 10pm and to give her a ring and let her know how things were going later on.
9:30pm the contractions were every 3mins and lasting 1minute long, after lots of nagging from my family i gave in and called the midwife back and said things were starting contractions were very strong but bareable. so she said she would not come out and at 10:30pm2 midwives would be on duty so she would update them. out of pure chance about 10 mins later she called back and said i think i had better come and examine you because if you have progressed a little you can use the pool for pain relief.
9:50pm she arrived and examined me i was 6-7cm but the babies heartrate had gone up to 190beats and she was not happy and said she was concerned for the baby and we should go to hospital. at this point i really broke down in tears i didnt want to birth in hospital and i didnt want to leave oscar behind. i agreed but i felt she was probably doing this more for her benefit also as she was alone. she went downstairs and made the call to theambulance.
afteranother contraction i went downstairs and the rapid response guy arrived and i had one hell of a contraction to which he ofered me gas and air i had about 5 puffs and the room started spinning. the ambulance crew then arrived a few minutes later and again i had an even stronger bloody painful contraction...then my waters went and i felt the baby! i was standing in the middle of my kitchen and he was coming, i started screaming asi was in shock. managed to get onto all fours and after 3 mins out came baby herbie at 10:15pm weighing 8lb 11oz. total labour was 2hrs 15mins, no tears only a slight graze and i felt fabulous after! he took to the breast straight away and when i eventually looked up i had 4 ambulance crew there, 1 fast response guy, the midwife and my mum, nan and grandad and dp all staring down at me on the floor with legs spread (not my finest moment)

it was a completely different birth experience to oscar and although painful in the last few minutes id do it all again tomorrow.

i have stopped expressing my milk now as i seemed to have healed and also usig the nipple shields. i tried to get herbie to drink out of a bottle but he just point blank refuses and screams. what do i do now? i am worried about bf'ing in public as i am so clumsy and faff about way too much il end up showing off my boobs i just cant master the technique of feeding without showing all. and i also planned to take oscar swimming once a week, what can i do when i leave him with someone if he wont drink out of a bottle?

i am feeding every 2 hours or so but he always falls asleep on the breast and i am alternating breasts with each feed. last night he slept from 10:30-4 was that too long sould i have woken him? he seems to be using it for comfort in the evenings too to settle him to sleep?

sorry for so many questions i just dont know if what im doing is right and you are all so clued up! i am finding it hard also feeding pretty much constant it seems and trying to amuse oscar and include him as when i have herbie oscar asks for cuddles...

hope you are all well anyway sorry i cant respond personally to you all i am making the most of both boys napping now so i can get some order in my bedroom

Iammummy - wow that was some birth story!!!! brought a lump to my throat as I thought of my homebirth that nearly wasn't then had to be! Well done.

OK back to breastfeeding advice. Firstly don't worry about the breastfeeding in public thing, it does get easier to be more discrete when the baby gets older, they gradually learn to find the breast with very little help from you once they develop a little more head control and then you have easy discrete feeding until they get to a few months old when they start lifting your top up!!!!! Ok so seriously it does get easier. In the meantime you can try and locate the local places that have cubicals for feeding or sometimes you might have to use the nappy-changing areas in the supermarket places. But generally there is somewhere to be found. Earlier this year when I was out at a party at a hotel, I just asked the receptionist and they let me use one of their posh rooms to breastfeed in, the chair was so comfy I almost stayed the night . By the way, if you are still using nipple shields, it is good to stop using them if you can manage? This was the advice that I was given by a breastfeeding councellor, it is is not easy, but I did manage to get ds1 off breastshields after a while. It also is harder to be discrete with feeding with shields, so would be easier on you in the longer term if you can manage it.

As for taking Oscar swimming. I went with dd when ds2 was little, I know this might sound a little strange, but for me it worked wonderfully. I went to the baby and toddler sessions, and they were fairly quiet (except for the aqua-arobics going on in the big pool!!!! I put ds2 in his car seat by the wall away from the steps into the baby pool, so that I could see him and he could see everything going on. In the early days he would sleep beside the pool, later on he just watched everything happening. But I was ready for if he needed me to get out. So I got my swim time with dd and he got to watch from the side of the pool. By the time he was getting too big for his carseat, he was big enough to be coming in the pool with us. It is not easy with two babies in the pool, but I found that using the babyfloats for ds2 and letting him kick around while I kept hold of dd worked ok then I would go to the shallower part of the pool and let dd paddle while ds2 had me hold him to be splashing. It was a wonderful time for all of us. It is not easy watching two in the pool, but it is easier than watching 3!!!!! (went swimming with all three of them today, but dh came to help!)

Back to b/f-ing, the advice generally about frequency of feedings is every 3 to 4 hours until they are about 6 weeks old. Don't worry about the comfort feeding at this stage, up to 6 weeks it is important to offer as much as they want, even if it is more for comfort. After 6 weeks you will be more able to distinguish what is comfort feeding and what is genuine feeding, and then is the time to start altering it, if you want to, depends on what you are happy with at that stage. As for him not taking the bottle, have you tried cup feeding him? Many breastfed babies will cupfeed better than bottle feed, it is strange doing it, but it does work.

Hope you don't mind my mammoth post

Iammummyagain! Wow! What a pretty stressful evening that must have been - but fabulous that all happened so smoothly in the end and you got your homebirth!

Please don't worry about feeding in public. I used to feed often in my car, so that I wasn't so obvious. I also invested (well asked my MIL for a Christmas present!), in a lovely pashmina and Toby and I used to disappear underneath it, while fiddling about getting him settled and then I'd reappear! As Rainbow says, it does get easier as you both get used to it more. Don't feel isolated by it all.

Also have to second the car seat at the pool edge option - I've often seen people do it, but it does depend on your local pool regulations, so I'd give them a call and ask them. If they won't let you, you shouldn't be gone longer than 2 hours will you? Herbie should cope for those 2 hours, if you feed him just before you go.

Well done on giving breast-feeding a go second time around! Very brave and I'm glad you are enjoying it.

Ready - some HV are rubbish. Mine told me DD was worrying her as she plummeted down the weight charts around the same age as Hannah is now. However, I ignored her "give her a bottle" advice and DD is now way off the charts at the top end for both height and weight! However, I do know how worried their advice makes you - however, you are not doing the wrong thing. Honey and Rainbow have given you great advice.

Honey - you have every reason to be a proud Mum!! Also lots of dancing that DD does there!!

Right - I'm going to wallow in my lonely Sunday evening-itis. Finding it all a bit dull now having DH away - I've done it for nearly 5 weeks now and I'm bored of it all. I want him home. These latest deaths are all a little closer to me now, as they are people near DH. Sorry....self-wallowing over!!

Hope everyone had a fantastic weekend.

xxx

Iam- blimey that was a close one! Sorry it wasn't the home birth you might have wanted- but I am jealous of the speed! Sounds like my 2nd birth experience (although that was in hospital). DD came out so quickly the MW was quite taken by surprise.

Rainbow- seriously you should be a BF counsellor in RL!

Fettle- how you feeling today? I bet the evenings are the worst- when you feel more alone and missing DH. But you are a strong lady, the time will pass and you will be together again soon. Big hug .

honey - thats exactly how it was! the midwife was filling out her paperwork thinking the ambulance crew were going to take over - how wrong was she! she started wailing at my nan to get bedding and towels - funny looking back now.

fettle - sending huge hugs to you. i always think of you everytime i hear the news and updates of what is going on out there. cant imagine how hard it is, but like honey says u r strong xx

rainbow - deffo make a great bf counsellor, when you say cup - what sort?

well we got discharged from the midwifes care today, herbie was weighed on day 5 and had gained 1oz and not lost like evryone predicted. he then got weighed today and is a whopping 9lb 1oz so he has gained 5oz in 5 days i must be doing something right...

iammummy - wow, you are doing great, well done on Herbie putting on so much weight too. As for your question: Cup is any cup! really needs narrow-ish edge though, as the way the baby drinks is like lapping it up like a cat it does look odd, but it strangely works. You tip the cup so that the rim is against the bottom lip of the babies mouth and the milk right near the edge, and then they automatically stick their tongue out to lap it up. I really thought someone was kidding me the first time I heard of it, but they showed me and I tried it and it actually works!!!!! . Apparently breastfed babies tend to do better with this than the bottle feeding as a substitute. My ds1 had a little difficulty with the cup technique due to his tongue-tie, but he still managed it.

Ready - hope you don't get too much hassel from the clinic tomorrow, and that you have support from there instead. Hope the feeding/sleep is going better too.

Fettle - sorry you are missing your dh so much and having worry about him.

iam - forgot to say I am impressed that you managed to have so many at the birth!!! I thought I was doing well with two ambulance crew, a doc, a midwife, dh, my mum and mil.... you beat me by a mile!!!!! My dh spent most of the time I was in labour either on the phone with another midwife or answering the door to the various people coming in, not alot of help for me.

hi, just a quickie from me... bit a very strange ti,e so I've been a bit awol on here. I wont go into massive detail but I miscarried at the weekend, I'd had some bleeding mid last week but kind of thought is may be because I was a little stressed as I was finding out about whether I was keeping my job or not... anyway, i went for a scan and the baby was only 5 or 6 weeks and I thought 8 - I was fairly certain of my dates. I bled some more and then had the cramps that told me it was all over. I'm able to be fairly pragmatic about it as it just must not have been the right thing and not meant to be. Its been such a hugely emotional month that I feel shattered by the whole thing - loads of early nights for me. I'm still bleeding and after my heamorrage last time I panic in bed that the bleeding is going to get worse. But I know I'm just being paranoid.

Great news about herbie arriving Iamammmy!!! . So so pleased for you. It must be lovely when you look at your 2 boys sleeping. I still get that feeling of complete love and happiness when I go into their rooms and watch them sleeping. Your birth story is amazing!!! You are obviously one strong woman!! well done!

Hope everyone else is doing well!