TTC grads - the one where the old temp buddies come home to roost!!!!

[rainbowdays]

The old thread was getting impossibly slow on my computer, so decided that it was time to create a new one with hopefully Rah and Ready joining us, and with a whole new due date list.....

so MrsM, Momwi - come and start the list and hopefully Rah and Ready will come here now too!!!!!

I am so excited that the temp buddies are back together again, can you tell?!?!?!?

is boden a mum thing then?! oh dear! i am officially a mum then.............which of course i am anyway.

honey - my children are never dressed properly either! other people always seem to think they must be cold cos they aren't wrapped up enough, but they dont moan about it so i think they must be fine. makes them tough i think!

where is that chooster woman hey?

hello ladies

greedy - you sound VERY excited at choosters news...a bit 2 excited...might it tempt you into number 4 earlier?!

lottie - lovely to hear from you

chooster - i hope the chat went well with dh if you got your moment. how are you feeling?

thankyou all for the advice on putting ds in nursery. i think it would be very beneficial for him to mingle with children his own age and have that little break away from mummy. not to mention the little break i would have once a week and time to spend with ds2. I have also planned though when ds2 comes along me and ds1 will go swimming 1/2 times a week on our own.

feels very weird typing ds1 and ds2 out, i dont think it has actually sunk in just yet that i am about to give birth, sometimes i feel really positive and other times scared out my wits! saw mw today and the head is "well down and ready to go" he is also in perfect position so he has changed from back to back which i am thrilled about. birthing pool is up and we are raring to go! my due date is monday but i am soooo hoping i dont last that long.

Greedy!!!!!! Missed you!!!! Always amazed there are any exclamation marks left in the world after you've used them all in your msgs!!!!!! You definitely doing it with honey then in a few years?! I might get jealous if u all start at it again!. Need to hope bodders keeps me company with 2 children.

Dh always dresses our children in not many clothes. But think they get used to it and certainly their metabolism seems to work really well and they are always hot when I'm cold. So hopefully will be skinnier than me!! Mine never wore hats inside tho!! And was never very good at swaddling! Did in the early early days with dd. Just wrapped toby in a blanket - but he still has those blankets to help him sleep during day. Last few nights he started taking them to bed with him at night too along with his night comforter rabbit. Think he's feeling a bit more unsettled than usual at mo. But that understandable I suppose.

Have to agree with you honey about expensive baby things. But also imagine Lottie after all the waiting you deserve to spoil these little ones a bit!!

iamamummy. Sounding promising!! Were you late with oscar? Can't remember. Good luck with it all.

Ready. How u and hannah doing?

Better get sleeping now. So rubbish at early nights at moment and I'm shattered. Bug waves to all. Xxx

Gosh, I have been on the edge of my seat reading the past couple of weeks worth of posts!

Chooster - I erm, don't know what to say, except I should probably say I hope my last post didn't tempt fate!!!! I was so freaked when I opened up the thread and saw your news. Anyway, I hope you've found a moment to tell your DH by now and you're slowly getting your heads round things. I'm utterly delighted for you, if i'm allowed to say that If it's any help, I never suffered morning sickness with either of mine...sore boobs kicked in about week 6/7 though.

Greedy - I thought your post to Chooster was sweet and genuine, and it made me well up a little bit, I don't know why (most things do though!) Also, I was most amused by the image of you "milking" your sister - very impressive.

Scorpio - so sorry to hear about your situation. I think you are pretty amazing the way you are dealing with things.

Fettle - you too are a total hero - hang in there, the days will fly (I find being in the school routine does that).

Rainbow and Seaside - good luck for this cycle - hopefully my magical power of pre-empting pregnancy will work for you guys too!

Hello Honeyapple, I'm afraid I was so blown away by Chooster's news that I'm not sure what's happening for you at the moment...something to do with an NCT course?

Over here at Stained Glass 'R' Us, things going ok...still busy - had another failed attempt at settling Isla into nursery today, which has left me a bit blue, horrible seeing her so upset. She's such a difficult bugger sensitive child. We are also in the throws of potty training. She is an A grade student when it comes to wees, but not really getting the whole poo thing. I'm not sure that tipping a nice round little plop out of her pants is any worse than changing a nappy though, so we'll keep at it for a bit longer.

Hello other peeps who I haven't mentioned!

crossed with you Fettle (took me ages to write that post!) I sometimes wonder if in years to come they'll pinpoint a baby boom caused by Mumsnet! But don't worry, I am DEFINITELY keeping you company on 2. Babies are lovely, it's just that mine scream a lot and are bad for my mental health

hey bodders! nice round little plop?!!! lovley! wouldn't fancy marcy pooing in her pants cos it would be more of a scraping off than tipping out job!

oh fettle, i feel all self conscious about using exlamation marks now! its only cos i cant be arsed with all the smiley faces and things , have you ever noticed that? it takes a lot for me to use one of them

i knew i had spelt it wrong......exclamation......

oh dear, and lovely spelt wrong too. its too late and i have too much red wine in my tum!

Greedy !!!!!! - great to have you back with us, and your enthusiasm is making me smile. I have missed you.

Bodkin - I was wondering if you were busy with work to not be around too, so it is good to hear that it is going well. But not so good to hear that Isle is not settling into nursary for you. That is really hard.

Ready and Rah - where are you both, ok so you have little newborns, but hey hope you are not forgetting us in the awe of your beautiful babies. Seeriously though I hope that you are enjoying your new mummy time.

Fettle and Bodkin - you are very sensible sticking to two children.

got to get back to work now....

hi!!

I have no time to catch up, but I have been lurking when i can.

H is amazing, changing every day. Still struggling with sleep, needs help to nap still, although much less than before - no more rocking, just cuddles and ssshing while she protests, sometimes louder than others. And at night has to be sound asleep before she can be put down... we are going to have to do some sleep training soon before i die of sleep deprivation! Any tips?

The sling is amazing, she barely protests a nap, so i try to time it for her lunch time nap, it means i go for a long walk, which is good for the weight loss

Had her jabs yesterday, horrendous screaming! heartbreaking!

how is everyone?

Congrats Chooster, hope you are well?

hiya

lovely to hear from you all

bodders- I'm starting on an ante-natal teacher training course.

Just spent an hour waiting in GPs for Dex's appointment (GRRRRR)... anyway he has had this spotty rash on his face for ages and I thought it was from teething but apparently Dr says it is impetigo- so have got antibiotics for him- and it is the really gross tasting one- bit of a struggle to get it down the throat. Had to bribe Dex with a couple of smarties.

Talking about spelling mistakes- we had a macmillan coffee morning at school today- and I had done the sign yesterday- and spelt 'tomorrow' as 'tommorrow'... anyway can you belive it- somebody actually went in and complained to the office about it!? Feel rather . Have people nothing better to do????

Right, better do some lunch x

Hi Ready -sorry to hear you are still having a hard time getting H to nap and sleep at night. The only other thing I can think to say (that I don't think anyone else has, but sorry if they have!) is to not leave it too long between naps. I think at this age it's still only about 1-2 hours awake before they're ready for another sleep! Isla used to only be able to manage 45 mins to an hour awake in the mornings before she needed to nap again! I could never understand it, but it seemed to work for her. I think the rule of thumb is to catch them by the 2nd yawn, otherwise they'll be overtired and harder to get to sleep. Well, that's the theory anyway. Then again, it does seem (from my experience and from other mums on here) that some babies do need to cry to wind themselves down before they sleep. I dunno. funny things aren't they

I hear a lot of good things about The No Cry Sleep Solution (can't remember who it's by - somebody Pantley?) if you want a more "gentle" approach than a certain other baby guru.

Hey ladies - welcome back Greedy and Bodders! I know you've not been gone that long Greedy, but it feels like it!

Yes, I finally told DH. He had reminded me that he was due to go out for a curry last night and so I thought that was going to be another night when I couldn't tell him, but it was postponed so he was home. His reaction was as expected - shocked, a bit upset, not that positive about it. I was so upset for him because for a while all he could say was that he didn't want anything to happen to me. Some of you may remember I had a haemorrage and lost 4 pints of blood and was taken to theatre after I lost my middle DS. I think thats really shaken DH in a way I hadn't appreciated. Anyway, we had a decent talk about it and he's getting abit calmer about it. We wont be seeing much of each other over the next few days as me and DS1 are going to London for a Christening. I know this sounds bad but I think it wil be good for him to have some space (apart from having DS2!) IYSWIM. But he's suppoprtive and was really kind so I couldn't hope for any more .

In the meantime I am having a major wobble about this!!!!! I can't believe I was ever broody (sorry dont want to offend anyone, especially as there are a few TTC-ers on here). Please give me positives of having 3... all i can think at the moment is that I wont have time for my other 2, DS1 wil be held back from doing some things by having a baby around, holidays will be a nightmare etc.... But then I think of you guys on here and you seem to manage great! Sorry if this is a bit rambly.... Is it normal to feel a bit shaken and negative? But then I look at the way my 2 DS's love each other and love being with each other, that surely another sibling can only be a good thing for them (despite the occasional squabbles I'm sure!)

And then.... while I'm thinking of all this, I then remind myself that we have a big genetic hurlde to get over as the baby will have a 25% chance of inheriting a fatal genetic condition. Aaaarrrgghhh - too much to think about...

Sorry - very me, me, me....

Lovely post from you Greedy and your enthusiasm is definately infectious! Its lovely to read someone SO pleased about my news as I think me and DH could get ourselves into a negative spiral if we aren't careful. Very glad that you are enjoying your neice - how is your sister taking to motherhood? Hope its exceeding her expectations .

Good to hear that business is doing well Bodkin, but not so great about Isla not settling... I take it DD1 was not as tricky? Are you just working around her at the moment? Well done Jak though for settling into creche (sorry bodders), whats the latest on your work rainbow - how long will it last for?

So, Herbie is all ready to go Iamamummy!!!!! Good luck if it all kicks off this weekend, we'll be thinking of you . By the way does Oscar still set his willy free from his nappy? Or have you cracked that?

Honey, has Dex done any modelling recently? Just wondering how thats going?

By the way, its Mary-Beth Lacey and Christine Cagney! - I used to love that programme. Was anyone else a Moonlighting fan??

Gotta go... Keep your fingers crossed that morning sickness continues to stay away! So far just mild nausea when hungry - PLEASE let that be all...

Busy lunch time!! Good to hear from you ready - Bodkin has some great advise about making sure she's not over tired. At least you have the sling as a back up and you can pretty much guarantee that will make her go off. Like you say great exercise! Have you tried a dummy at all? I know people have mixed reactions to them but it may be worth a go if it soothes her.

I can't believe someone complained about the spelling on your sign Honey - that really is someone who has nothing better to do. Its so easy to make those kind of mistakes and I have to confess when I first read your post I did think that the first way you'd spelt it looked OK! . I hope your efforts at making the signs are appreciated by everyone else!

Chooster, sorry my congrats were a wee bit insensitive - i didn't lurk thoroughly enough did I. Hope things become clear for you soon.

bodders, i've been reading 'save our sleep' by tizzie hall, the settle method is not super gentle, but not cruel. She doesn't believe in ignoring emotional cries, but says it is ok to ignore protests. I am pretty sure I can tell the difference after 9 weeks. I struggle with the thought of not holding her when she is crying, but I suppose she has to learn to settle herself for both of our sakes.

I have started taking the toys away on the first yawn and getting her up for cuddle by the 2nd. She won't nap anywhere but our arms/sling/car - so the old addage 'sleep when baby sleeps' is nonsense for us.

Am I a terrible mother? Did I do something wrong that has caused her to need help sleeping???

You've not done anything wrong at all ready - some babies are like Hannah and its not your fault at all. There are plenty of mums who've been on here struggling to get the LO to sleep. Perhaps take a look at the sleep section on here and that may give you some tips - or at least help you realise how many babies struggle to sleep on their own.

And you were not insensitive at all about your congrats! . I've just been brutally honest on here about how I feel about it all. If this was RL then I wouldn't voice any of these concerns, in fact not even my closest friends know yet.

Dear Chooster- glad to hear that DH is being supportive- can totally understand your fears and worries about having a third. (and also with the worries of the genetic condition ) However I must say that I have only experienced positives having a third- even with a big age gap- it has really been good for my other two- they have learnt to be patient/ caring/ responsible etc. Obviously you do have to split your time even more and sometimes one or other of them might feel cross about this- but again a good life lesson I think. It is amazing how ones love doesn't end- I mean you can love another child as much as the ones you already have because love is limitless really!

Ready- I think loads of babies have the same problems about sleep as Hannah. Dexter is only just learning to fall asleep on his own- he still has a dummy. And yes I do have to still leave him crying sometimes. I think the older they get the easier it is leave them to cry a bit- very hard with a little one. You are doing brilliantly I am sure and I think she is still too young to be left to cry for very long- 5-10 mins max and then you can go and pat her or something- then go back in again- and again- and again! Eventually she will fall asleep. You have to be quite firm with yourself- I was never prepared to do this until mine were older.

2nd day and Dex hasnt had a sleep in the day- oh dear.

Ready - Great to hear from you. Firstly you are not a bad mother for wanting to cuddle H to sleep, you just love her. There are good recommendations from everyone here regarding H and sleep. Really the method and timing of tackling sleep issues is a personal one for everyone. I am a person who needs as much sleep as I can get, so I worked on sleep with each of mine very early. Getting a child to learn to get themselves to sleep is not easy especially on mummies, it is hard work, and when you are tired it feels like a step too far for ages. My tricks were to cuddle them up with a muslin cloth that I had tucked inside my tee-shirt, so that it was warm with my body warmth and my "smell", and make sure that the bed was not cold when putting down to sleep. Then give a quick kiss and cuddle put down in cot with cloth and move away. I found if I was nearby then they whinged to be picked up again, but if I moved away, then they sometimes stayed quiet. Anyway as I said it is not easy and there are lots of ways of achieving the same thing, but I don't think there is a "right" way to do it other than trust what you think is right for you and H. Another thought, is before H starts rolling, have you tried laying down in your bed with her to get her to sleep and then removing yourself once she is asleep? Or is H a very light sleeper?

Honey - poor dex with the impetigo, hope it clears up quickly for him.

Chooster - glad to hear that your dh was supportive. I just want you to know that the feeling a bit shaken and negative is normal. We were trying for our third and when I became pregnant I went through an almighty "oh what have we done, this is really bad" time in the first trimester and beyond. But as soon as he arrived all thoughts of this vanished for good. It is wonderful having 3 (hence why I am now wanting 4!). There are disadvantages obviously, but I am so pleased that we have dc3, he really is a big bonus to our family. But I hope you know that your doubts about this are ok and normal. I hope that some of greedy's infectious excitement rubs off on you soon, I really want to say congratulations to you too, but realise that it might not feel that way at the moment. Finally - I am a big moonlighting fan, why won't they do re-runs of this, it was great!

ready - everyone is so fab on here aren't they?! of course its nothing you have done wrong! whats wrong with cuddling your baby to sleep hey. kind of wish i had done a bit more of it instead of being obsessed with getting them into a routine just so i could have my sleep back. my problem was i am such a completely grumpy cow when i am sleep deprived that the most important thing to me seemed to be to get them to sleep through the night instead of actually enjoying them more and having lots of sleepy snuggles. i definately tried to enjoy marcy more and rocked her to sleep a lot more than the other two. i am all for leaving them to cry a bit, but i know when they are tiny its hard and i could never manage more than 5 mnins and then had to go back in and check on them. i could never listen either, had to shut the kitchen door and put the oven timer on for 5 mins and switch the music up and then when the timer went off see if they were still crying! anyway, that sounds odd doesn't it! you will sort it out and she is still only very little dont forget!

honey - marcy has started dropping her daytime sleep! i'm not ready for that yet!!! she has one if we are in the car at the right sort of time, but i never put her down at home anymore cos she just screams! she seems to be able to cope without it fine. she really doesnt need that much sleep, only about 11 hours a day which doesn't seem much to me! silly woman with the spelling mistake! Not you, the woman who complained! what a twat hey!!!

chooster chooster chooster!!! honeys reasons for having 3 were lovely and nearly made me cry! i think you are just in shock! i know that i am always broody, but i do think if i ever did get pregnant again i would REALLY panic and start thinking of all the negatives cos its human nature isn't it?
its very hard to think of the positives cos you can only think of the family you have and how it will affect them having another baby. you need to imagine having a whole other little person in your family with their own little ways and personality. someone else to love and someone else to adore you as a mother. think how much the boys will love having a little baby to help with and look after. i used to feel guilty when i was pg with marcy that i would have less time for the other two, but i think the benefits for them of having another sibling to love far out weighs the fact that you might have slightly less time for them. and anyway you would get your maternity leave again so think how much extra time you would get with them then. there are so many positives with having a third and its lots of fun even if it is hard work to start with! and just think if you have another boy you will have 3 boys! how much fun will they have growing up together! and if you have a pink one, you get to dress her up and she can be looked after by her two big brothers!
i imagine it will be very hard telling people in RL. bless your dh for being so worried about you, and those genetic issues just add to your confusion dont they. have you had anymore bleeding? and most importantly .............have you worked out your due date!!!?

Well Chooster. If honey and greedy haven't convinced you 3 will be fine, they have certainly made me think!!! I agree though I think what your feeling is totally normal. It is scary, particularly with your history. Thinking of you lots!!

Ready. I'm all for cuddling to sleep. Dd still needs a cuddle at bedtime and if she wakes at night. It is nothing you've done wrong at all. Or else many other mothers have also got it wrong! Definitely do what YOU want to do NOT what you think you ought to do! There is nothing wrong with cuddling or crying to sleep - whatever works for you and hannah. I couldn't let dd cry as she was sick and with toby I've been blessed with a sleeper!

Best go children running riot!!

Iamumummy hope you have a productive wknd!!

Xxx

ready - there you go thats proof that hannah will soon be sleeping like an angel!!! i remember fettle moaning about toby's lack of sleep at the beginning and me feeling guilty cos marcy was actually quite a good sleeper. NOW she says she has been blessed with a sleeper! if i had the time and energy i would look back at old posts and copy bits to show you how we all moaned at points that they didnt sleep and now its all a distant memory!! so you will think back in a few eeks and think 'what was i going on about, she sleeps like an angel!'

Thanks guys!!!! You've REALLY helped me! I do just keep focusing on the negatives but am so pleased that even you natural mums of 3 seem to have had wobbles as well at some point! Phew!!!!! Thanks for all your kind words.

And yes, I've worked out the due date as 19th may 10 - Ds1's 6th birthday! Must be fate

Now I really want another!!!! I wasn't jealous when my friend got pg. But for some reason chooster getting pg has made me think I want another!!! Gd thing dh is away as hopefully the broodiness will have worn off by then!

Greedy you are right. Toby was rubbish at daytime napping and he used to feed asleep in evenings for about an hr. But once asleep was he good. Also once he stopped breast feeding he would go in his cot wide awake and settle himself. Something dd never did! Took months if sleep training her but we got there eventually when she was 2! So compared to dd toby was and still is an angel (in many ways!) actually that's why I can't have another!! Couldn't cope with another beautiful, intelligent but non-sleeping dd!!!!

BUT having said all yhis I had to cuddle toby to sleep last night! hoping that doesn't last! Not gd develoment but dd went downhill sleeping at same age when dh was in Iraq so was to be expected!

Better pay some attention to them now!!

hey ladies

chooster - im glad you told dh, he sounds fab and understandably concerned for you. sounds like going from 2-3 is a worrying and anxious time even if it was planned. you will be fine though and im sure your boys will adore a baby sister
thanks for asking about oscar, the nappy cover thing worked for a couple of weeks but he has learnt to undress himself now so just takes it straight off. he has peed on the floor twice today and i really am losing the plot with him but at the moment havnt got the energy to introduce the potty. oh and i managed to get the handy manny tool box

fettle - broody for numer 3 too!! at this rate our thread will continue forever! i went 8 days overdue with oscar but im so hoping it doesnt go that way this time.

having a car seat crisis at the mo, bought a car seat for ds2 but dp got me a new car yesterday ( say new its 17 years old but great condition ) and tried to fit it this afternoon, it wont flippin fit. so we went to toys r us to get another car seat but cannot use new car yet asi cant tax it til the insurance documents come through and toys r us wont refund car seats if they dont fit. so basically im stuck!! gonna have another go at fitting tomorrow.

right im off as dp cooking dinner. xx

ah chooster, glad to hear you sounding happier. how is dh feeling now? have you mentioned it to anyone in rl yet? was it you that didnt tell anyone till you were really far gone last time or was that someone else?

iamamummy - could you have your baby for me tonight please!? that would be fab wouldn't it?! i am very jealous of you too, cos you will be getting to meet your lovely new little boy very soon. ah!

had a lovely family day today. been up to london and had a lovely lunch and did lots of touristy stuff! the kids love all that! anyway, i have just stuffed my face again, cos my diet starts AGAIN tomorrow! and now i am putting more stuff on ebay to sell cos i am completely obsessed with ebay at the moment! unfortunately its buying as well as selling that i am obsessed with! so not actually making any money!!

better go............got a dodgy red leather skirt to sell...............don't ask!!!...........lets see if anyone buys it!!!