40+ Yummy (or not-so-yummy) Mummies, Come and Eat Cake

[ladymac]

Have taken the plunge, hope this is acceptable to everybody.

Meant to say, someone mentioned Mooncup and 2 of my sisters swear by it and find it easy to use and reliable for all but the heaviest day/s when nothing but an industrial-strength sanitary towel reaching from small of back to naval will do. V g for lighter days when tampons can 'drag' as they come out. Yuk. Must remind self that, during pregnancy, nausea and tiredness are payback for no periods.

JW hush, whisper it not. I'd hate to be in charge of security in Washington today though.

Well done to you girls who've lost weight! Don't despair if you haven't!

mrsb like minds on the security issue

Hello - I'm back and I'm lighter!!! [stunned emoticon] I'm now XX 00lbs so that's 3lbs lost this weeks and 2 since we started That has perked me up no end. Hoorah for the 20 mins a day on the stepper!! Oh and two lots of walking into town up and down these blinkin hills!

Oh it's my Dad's birthday today - he's 84 - bless. He's got his fave dinner (tripe and cow heel in parsley sauce ) and is going to watch a piece of history on TV but he also said he wouldn't want the secruity job!!

It's weird - I always grew up with my mum and Dad being so much older than everyone elses....but by today standards it's normal...mum was 36 and dad was 40. Gosh - my Mum wouldn't have even made this thread!

jw I'm very about this period pain - i'd been led to believe that after children, period pain was a thing of the past......pah! Want my money back....grrrr.
OOOoo, Verity's Tripp Trapp chair has arrived See if sitting at the table encourages her to eat something other than my BOOBIES!!

Even Obama is pretty sure someone is going to try to take him out and perhaps succeed. Saw an article somewhere about it, where he and Michelle admitted it was a definite possibility and had agreed that what he was doing was too important to not take the chance.

That is one US president who will never leave or enter a building anyway but under a tent and will never walk the rope line.

morning sorry afternoon all.

well done on weight loss MrsB & JW and chin up Lilibet at least you aren't heaver than when you started. I have lost 2lb so that is 5lb in total I'm quite stunned really since mt period started this week and my sugar craving has been huge (and I gave in a few times).

All of this talk about weddings made me very excited remembering my CAKE, I have posted a pic on my photos, it was so funny. [by way of explanation DH used to work in Antarctica on seabirds]

We had a register office do and a lunch at a local hotel for 23, it was lovely and organized in 6 weeks so no time to get stressed about table placements etc. Also only my 2 friends at work knew about it (because they were coming) and nobody else so no endless wedding chats at the coffee machine .

sarahsmudge sorry your broodiness is causing you stress, i think you have to decide if you really want another and if the answer is yes just go for it, age is just a number.

those of us how married did you change your name? I haven't but I'm thinking about it for family stuff but keeping it for work but not sure how it would work out.

Oh I see Simon Cowell as already axed Kelly Brook... took him that long to see all her 'no talent'

He is right about that tee it would be worse in some ways to never go for it because of the risk than to go for it and get shot.

cow heel? thats a new one on me.

who is Kelly Brooke JJ,

Oh WOW! hedgepig your wedding cake ROCKS!!! That is soooo fab

Not married so can't help on name front. I probably would for family as not being married I sometimes feel a little left out as DP and the girls are all XXXvic and I'm XXXXland!!
But for work, writing etc I'd keep it.

Forgot to say sarahsmudge I've got no gap but didn't have DD1 till I was 41. If it's what you and the family want then I'd say go for it.

hedgepig love the cake!

Re: name changes - I would never change my name and I feel v strongly about it FOR MYSELF. I capitalise that because if you are married and don't change your name lots of people - including very old friends - who have changed their names on marriage, act as if you're throwing a very personal insult at them! The crap I've had to put up with makes me . I just couldn't see any reason to change - DH and I tell people that neither of us changed our names but that seems to get them even more mad... The arguments (and my responses to them) seem to boil down to:

1. It's what everyone does. (yawn)
2. It's a tradition (yep, from the days when women were given as a chattel from father to husband)
3. If you don't change it's disrespectful to your husband (wtf ?!**"$%!?!?)
4. It's a way of showing him you love him (let me tell you, there are better ways )
5. It means you have a family name (I see that as a convenient thing but why should it be his?)
6. It makes things easier if you have kids (probably true, but only because people make vast assumptions, and it's not been a cause of major suffering for us.)

Now, I know my name is only my father's name, so in terms of patriarchy we're still stuck, but changing it to someone else's father's name just didn't seem to make sense to me. Our DC do have their dad's surname, although they have mine as a 3rd given name. This isn't ideal but I didn't have a strong desire to 'pass on' my surname and DH was so laid back about the whole thing, I was happy for them to have his. I quite like having my own, different name to them actually.

Come the revolution, we'll have resolved this issue . I like the idea of creating new family names and know several couples who've done that - usually leading to being slagged off or even ostracised by the groom's family.

My mum does lots of genealogy and women are 'lost' to history if you don't know the name of the man they married. She favours the idea of girls taking the mother's name and boys the father's, which is interesting - like they do in Iceland I think. Some way of keeping both parents in the picture seems only sensible.

I'm not offended by women who change their names, as some of them seem offended by my decision not to; I just wouldn't do it myself and am very happy with not having changed. My friends who have stuck with their own names are all university-educated, consciously feminist and don't do anything without a lot of anguished consideration - and surprised themselves and everyone else by getting wed in the first place .

Right, I'm off the soapbox, anyone else want it..?

*stands up and applauds............

Tell us how you really feel ermintrude

Actually, it's very true about the women lost in history, geneology link. A couple I know made up their last name - they took it from a well known hotel in Miami where they met at the musical festival!

Talking of which - I've been doing my Dad's tree for him - been a real eye opener. Seems that most of his side ran away from Ireland at the start of the potato faminine. Still hunting for the Chas & Dave connection via my mum - she swears it's true!

mrB cow heel is just that....heel of the cow...MMmmm delicious

Who IS kelly Brook??? hedgepig damm fine question - she's sort of, well, pretty and no one really....

Fabulous cake hedgpig!!

I did change my name. I hated my surname from the moment I was 5 and had to learn how to spell it for school. No one can spell it, no one can pronounce it, it sucks.

So I took DH's name. Which I thought would be a doggle for people to spell. I was wrong. But at least everyone knows how to pronounce it.

I do think it is totally a personal decision either way. And I know several couples who have started a new family name when they were married.

JJ, Chas and Dave! Now that's impressive .

I know one couple who happily announced at the wedding reception that they'd decided to call themselves Mr and Mrs May, because it was the month they met, and his entire family walked out shouting abuse at her family (who were just as surprised at the announcement) and haven't been in touch with him since, despite two DC having been born

One thing my ma has discovered in her research is that the notion that families in the Olden Days consisted of a daddy, mummy and their children is complete rubbish - they were just as complicated as we are today, lots of out of wedlock births, step-children, 'married' couples who never actually married, single housekeepers having a mystery baby who then inherits from the father's will, complete second families of bigamist fathers; all sorts of shenanigans. And not just my family, I hasten to add! People were also quite mobile, not staying in their home towns and having aged parents live with them as we often imagine was the norm - most families dispersed all over the place. My lot were all humble types except for one chap in the 19th c who described himself on the census as 'Gentleman'. But we only have his word for it.

Agree totally with you ermintrude. I'm not married either but if I was I would keep my own name without question (unless like tee I hated it and actually wanted a different one). There's no reason to change it. D has his daddy's surname because I figured that since my parents have six grandsons with their surname they could spare one!. Also I chose his Irish first name so thought it was a nice balance to have his daddy's surname which is of continental European origin.

I work with a woman who started with her single name, got married and changed it, got divorced a year later and changed it back to her single name, got married again a year or two later and changed it to new husband's name so she is now on her fourth surname in as many years. It makes her look a little bit daft IMO especially when you have to sit there trying to remember her current surname so that you can email her.

oh hedgepig what a lovely cake! I couldn't bear to cut into it though - so sweet!

Ermintrude you very eloquent summary is pretty much how I feel most of the time, it was just sitting in hospital after O was born I had this mad idea of changing my name (probably the hormones).

I think for me the main problem is the school I have never said I am Mrs C (DH & the boys name) but they always call me it, I haven't made an issue with them about it but it is making me a bit fed up so maybe I should say something rather than changing my name.

My favourite name change story involved a girl I used to work with. She married a man whose surname rhymed with her first name and she thought it sounded silly, so she changed her first name by deed poll. Then they divorced and she reverted to her maiden name and had to change her first name back to her original name by deed poll again!

My SIL thinks I'm breaking the law by not changing - she says it's a legal requirement rather than the only time you can change your surname without going via deed poll. Not a bright lass...

thank you MrsB, it is good isn't it. DH didn't know about it until he saw it on the day, he laughed so much. Unfortunately, the black icing turned everyone's mouths black.

Seems I'm in the minority today. I've changed my surname to my DH's. If not we'd have 3 different surnames in this house between 4 people. Also, my previous name was my ex husband's and I shoved that back at him after the divorce. It just makes life a little bit easier for us but I think it's a good thing if you want to keep it too. My DD#1 has already told me (several times) she'll never change her surname. So there you go.

Love the cake hedgepig Hope those aren't endangered penguins. Arf arf. Even better with the black teeth guests

loud applause for Ermintrude. I agree with all of your reasons exactly ... are you me?? (did we ask that before?)
I kept my name. I didn't get married til my 30s and by then had a career and friends and basically a life as me. I wasn't going to change who I am known as for anyone. Would have been just wrong. My DD has my surname as a middle name - even tho it isn't really a girl's middle name - I don't care. She can hyphenate later if she choses but i'm not saddling her with that now.

Cute cake hedgepig - and cute children too!
We were married in Autumn and had a cake covered in blackberries and hazelnuts and honeysuckle and hawthorn (Care of DH's sister). I went into major battle with my mother over all the things she thought were wedding essentials (favours, cake boxes, flowers for everyone etc etc) but in the end managed a meal for 60 and a ceilidh for 200 and honeymoon and dress (made by a friend) and everything for a really reasonable price. Our place settings were stones from a favourite beach with the guest's name on in gold pen.

***

oh pigs - just been called into boss's office and no-one in the company is getting a pay rise this year.
I suppose at least we still have jobs (for now).

LOL@ black teeth inflicted by penguins

Am watching Obama thing...I know, I know...sad but I am feeling ruff. Anyway - Joe Biden's wife...and that outfit Blood red frock coat and knee high black boots...... I'm all for a sassy outfit but the former fashion editor me is saying... "hey, that's just sooo not a presidential look. Darhling that coat - those boots - it just screams, Harlot!"

I like Michelle's outfit. Elegant. Biden's wife looks about 25 from a distance with the kneeboots and curly long blond hair. Still, if you can get away with it...

It's not sad to be watching it jj not at all. I think it is a good day for planet earth and we don't get many of those.

Hey, what's wrong with watching the Obama thing? Its an historic moment for my country!

Still have 1.5 hours until actual Inauguration though. Maybe I'll go take a shower!

Well, I just feel guilty - TV on, kids grubbing around in dirt, you know what I mean!

Michelle's outfit is indeed very nice - sensible too as it's darn cold there. Not too sure about the colour but she does look very elegant.

It is undoubtedly a historic day. Just so nice to see people with smiles on their faces. Boy, has he inherited a mess though?! Regardless of his politics - a fresh angle, a fresh face on things can hopefully be a good thing.

We're sticking fridge magnets on the radiators

Oh, its a bad mummy thing, not an Obama thing, gotcha!

I haven't seen either the Obamas or the Bidens yet. But at this point I am only half paying attention.

I am amused that it says at the bottom Sky News 'President Elect Barak and Michelle Obama to meet President Bush and His wife at the White House.'

I guess Mrs Bush has no first name?