for mums2b moving on from the pg after mc thread.....

[Katherine]

I'm hoping Wills and the other mums I spoke to on the Pg after mc thread will join me here (along with anyone else of course) as I really miss chatting to you but no longer feel it is appropriate to post on a mc thread now that I'm almost half way there. However I find the "anyone due..." threads to have mums due at other times than me and I miss my old chats. So come on guys how are you doing now?

I am now 19 weeks and have my major scan on Friday. Baby has been really kicking properly and DH can feel him/her too. Some days are very active and others are very quiet which worries me. I don't remember such eractic activity with my other 2 but hey they are all different. Still struggling with Sciatica and my nose is incredibly dry and sore all the time but otherwise I feel great and am starting to get my energy back - spent the last few days sorting out a neighbours garden.

Had flu a couple of weeks ago which really wiped me out and left me with a terrible cough which totally defeated my pelvic floor muscles so I had to wear towels. Spent most of my time convinced my waters were leaking so I guess I'm still pretty over anxious.

Hope you are all OK.

Aah Katherine ... been wondering how you were ...
Blimey 19 weeks ... how time flies. Glad that all is going well for you now after everything that happened (apart from the flu tho'.
Still no joy for me on the pg front ... in the third month of trying ... hopefully ... soon ... soon ...
Hugs
Ghosty XX

Ghosty thanks for your message. Great to hear from you. Everytime I see you on another thread I mean to dig out your email but life is so hectic.
DD is starting nursery visits this week which means I have to stay with her and play with her for 2.5 solid hours. I was exhausted by last night although it did force me to really sit down with her - usually there are so many odd jobs to get done she gets a bit neglected.

I really hope things happen for you soon. Got everything crossed for you. hugs{}

I hope no one minds me joining this thread as I didn't join the other one mentioned. 3 years ago I had a mc at 9 weeks. I am now 10 weeks gone. I got pregnant with my coil in place. I had it removed almost 2 weeks ago. I didn't find out until afterwards what the chances of mc are in such a situation. 50% if I had left the coil in and now down to 25%, though a 'normal' pregnancy is 10 -15%.

I very much want this baby. I have a DD from my previous marriage, and it was with the same man I had the mc (I hadn't realised I was preg and it happened about 4 weeks after he moved out. I thought my lack of periods were still due to breastfeeding and stress as we had used precaustions). I met my second husband shortly after the mc, and so he has never really understood just how much it devestated me. I also felt that as it wasn't his baby that I couldn't share my feelings.

He has asked me to have a termination, and to be honest I think our marriage is falling apart. I have wanted to try for a baby for so long, he hasn't, so that is why I had the coil.

I know that if I lose this baby I will probably hold him partly responsible because of the enourmous stress he has placed on me.

I realise I still have a 75% chance of delivering this baby, but after the last mc and the circumstances of conception I'm finding it near impossible to be positive.

I feel like I am just sitting here like a time bomb, waiting for cramps or bleeding to start.

At what stage did anyone else who had a previous mc actually start to feel like maybe it wasn't going to happen again???

Hi Pie and welcome. I didn't mean to make it sound like this thread was for specific people. You must be in a terrible position and I really feel for you. I really hope things work out for you. Just remember that every day which passes without bad news is a good day and reduces the chance of mc by a little bit more. If you have gone through a loss I think you are always more anxious and on edge through the whole pg - I do beleive I am going to have this baby now, I think I relaxed a little about 14 weeks bu I am still probably more anxious than most. I really hope you manage to sort things out with your DP too - you need all the support you can get. Hugs

Hi Katherine,

Rather blue at the moment and was so desperate that my mails became a little happier. I'm still pregnant which is the great news. Got three problems. Problem number 1: Health! I've just been discharged from hospital following an asthma attack bought on by a chest infection. As usual for this area no one really took note of the fact that I'm pregnant and I've come home with the most amazing assortment of drugs and conflicting medical advice/instructions. However (and this will stun you!) my GP has stepped in (just as I was thinking of changing practice) and helped me out. Firstly she too is not happy with the care and since I belong to a company medical scheme has quickly referred me to a private consultant (tomorrow). Then she got me to see a midwife just to prove that the little one was still there - heart beat going strong which is good. So hopefully this issue will resolve itself soon but I can't help but worry about what all these drugs are doing to my little one. I'm permanently tied to nebulizer or taking horse pill size antibiotics (so much for the drug free pregnancy!). I think the problem was that they couldn't xray me and so have thrown every drug under the sun at me (well that's how it feels).

Second problem - I've finally told my boss and so now have to start handing over to my deputy who my boss will give a trial run of a couple of weeks. I'm basically not very good at letting go. I passionately want this little one so why can't I let go of work. I think the problem is that I built these teams from scratch (over the last 3 years) and it will be very difficult to hand them over to someone else who could so easily screw up. I'm hoping like mad that my deputy is capable of rising to the challenge since it would help to know that things were in familiar hands. Thing is - I didn't plan to plunge my deputy in at the deep in like this and things have gone really pear shaped at work and I'm worrying like mad whether or not he will cope. I really should "chill out" after all if he can't do it then now is the time to find out giving me time to interview and find an alternative if it doesn't go well. Possibly this is the best way of doing it - I can't get to the issues at work (except by my laptop at home which dh is threatening to hide from me!).

Finally last issue - and funnily enough its a little like Pie's. DH has dropped a bomb shell at the weekend. After sniping at me for the last couple of weeks I finally had it out with him and he announced that he feels trapped by the baby. He spent the last 3 years working in the evenings and at weekends doing a conversion MSc in IT. He's just passed and done really well. Thing is, he wants to change jobs (career change) but doesn't feel able to because I want to take maternity leave (naturally). I feel really angry with him - furious. Naturally I feel very protective towards the baby but most of my anger is that he leaves it until I'm 17 weeks to tell me this. I try not to bury my head when it comes to our relationship especially as dh is not good at talking - so I try to be alert. But... when we talked about concieving (back in August/September) he at the time wasn't sure he wanted to change jobs after all. The IT job market is not good and his current profession is doing really well. It was a joint decision from my perspective but now he tells me its because I so wanted another baby. ARRRGGHH - of course I wanted another baby but I like to think I am able to compromise. Also he's not even looked at the market or approach his current employer to see if there was a position that could incorporate both IT and his other skills. There are so many things he could do but instead he just builds up a resentment towards me and the baby. GREAT! Well we're working through it but I do feel great despair at times!!!!

Oh Wills you poor thing. I hope things improve for you soon - this is the last thing you need.

Small words of comfort but chest infections are very common during pg. I had a terrible one when pg with DD. So it means that lots of women will end up taking lots of drugs. Antibiotics should not do any harm and the hospital would have had to be very negligent to prescribe you something harmful, so although you must feel horrible, hang in there, you will feel better physically soon and that will help your mood too. Hope things go well with the consultant. That is also something positve.

REgards letting go - well your work is totally seperate from the baby. Not wanting to let go does not mean you want your baby any less. Its always hard letting someone take over your work when you have worked so hard - a bit like when you leave your child with a childminder or something. If its important to you then its hard to beleive someone else will care as much as you. No words of reassurance I'm afraid just try to remember why you won't be there

Finally your DH - what a pain. My DH works in IT and wants to do an MSc. With my last 2 pg he was self-employed and we were in a finacial mess. Almost lost the house at one point. But we got through it and now thankfully he has taken a job - he'll actually get paid paternity leave this time! It must have been hard for him to raise the subject with you so try not to be too hard on him. Encourage him to look for a compromise post like you suggested. But whatever he does in the end, you will manage. There is never a perfect time to have a baby so if things get a bit complicated then you will get through it somehow. Obviously you would prefer security. It is a huge relief to me this time but IME with men you've just got to make them think its there idea. Oh and despite this baby being DHs idea he has been very ambivalent through the pg so far and I have felt very alone. I think its very common in early pg as we tend to push them away a bit (no sex, sore boobs, moody etc etc) and they have nothing to see. DH felt a kick last week and since then hes been a bit more interested and starting cuddling me more again. I think a lot of the time they just don't know what to say.

Anyway it is an hour till my scan so I'd better go and drink some water. All my love. Full report later

OOOHHH Katherine can't wait to hear the full report.

Had a long discussion with my husband and he explained that at the time he did want another child (although never as much as me - think this will always be the case). Its just now he feels trapped. He's agreed to look around and see what if there is anything appropriate.

Bad news is my consultant has just cancelled until Monday, blast blast blast.

However despite all that I'm in a really good mood. I've been sure that I've been feeling kicks for two weeks now but had a nagging doubt. Then this morning I had a slight twinge (kick) and immediately put my hand there and pressed down. Promptly got a reaction - a very definite kick, and could even feel it with my hand. I have soooo been waiting for that moment and it was so lovely to feel that its really made me positively chirpy. I've been given an alternative consultant and will try him to see if he can fit me in. Whatever else I'm doing positive things to resolve my issues and that always makes me a lot happier.

Wills, so sorry you have been having such a difficult time on so many fronts. Thought we had not seen you around much. Glad to hear your GP has suddenly proved her worth, though - and good news about the kick and recovering from the chest infection.
Katherine is right to say that although it may seem you've been given half the pharmacy, there are many types of antibiotic that are safe in pregnancy. I had to take amoxicillin a few weeks ago and the only way I could get them down my throat was to think "healthy mum, healthy baby".
We've been through it too a little as well (although I have to say that letting go from work has not been a problem, I spent so much time there in tears yesterday my team sent me home and told me not to come back til Tuesday). Although I know dh wants this baby too, I have been so stressed for the past three weeks that he confessed to me last night he felt it was coming between us too much. And I know he is right. I just cannot relax.
We are approaching the time that we lost Thomas and have both been having appalling nightmares about his birth. I have also had a parvovirus scare, a UTI and, the crowning glory, a no heartbeat scare two weeks ago which involved a high speed dash to hospital - the worst two hours of my life. The baby was fine, fortunately. The hospital team were really kind and so were my community team, I've been lucky with my care, but having to confront my worst nightmare just seemed like a kick in the teeth.
Katherine, good luck with the scan - look forward to hearing more anon! Have you decided to try and find out the sex this time round?
And Pie, welcome aboard the rollercoaster...fingers crossed for us all.

Pie,

I'm so sorry - to ask you to have a termination is awful for you especially as you obviously want this little one. I understand your feelings of protectiveness although my relations with my dh are in no way as strained as yours.

Any words I say to tell you that the pg will be ok would be purely trite because if you're like me you're not going to stop worrying and unfortunately no one can tell you its going to be fine. You should ask others - possibly start a thread to get their attention - whether or not they've had successful pregnancies having had a coil removed. I found it ever so helpful hearing other people's experiences. But don't forget to continue contributing to this one!

Also when did I feel confident????? This is a simple question to answer - I don't! I don't feel as frightened as I did during my first 14 weeks (which felt sooo long) but I don't feel fully confident yet. I was going to ask Katherine the same thing but from her post below yours I get the impression that like me she feels more positive but will jump at anything that might be abnormal in any way. For me it wasn't the 14 week point - more that we started telling people that I was pregnant and others were simply overjoyed and it rubbed off onto me. Hiding the pregnancy felt like saying, I'm not telling anyone cos this might not happen. When I told people it felt more positive. Still saying that everytime I told anyone I immediately thought fate would strike me down etc etc. As you'll see from my post below, I've only just told my boss.

Back to your dh. I'm having enough problems with dh telling me that he's feeling trapped by a pregnancy that he wanted. If he'd said he wanted a termination I'm positive that I'd have thrown him out (pregnancy hormones turn me into a little bit of a protective tigress over her cubs etc). Thinking rationally (trying to at least) you're right to see this as a major hurdle that your marriage needs to overcome and from your single post I'm guessing that theres a lot of your emotions that he needs to understand to understand you. As Katherine says in her post, many men don't feel the same way about the bump as we do. My dh found he couldn't feel any feelings during dd's pregnancy until she kicked him. Having felt my baby move with my hand this morning I'm guaranteed a weekend of him permanently prodding my tummy because he obviously wants to relate with it. I think that if you can cope that its time to get help over your marriage. Possibly relate would help. There have been other posts talking about relate and most appear to say that it helps. Counselling should not be left until the marriage is over and whilst I've not had to use it so far I would not wait until our difference were irreconcilable. However I'm not sure I could have coped at 10 weeks.

Good Luck Pie - my thoughts are with you.

Marina - really glad to hear you. Your phrase "Healthy mum, healthy baby", wonderful! I shall stick a note above the pills and stare at it every time. Thanks.

I'm sorry to hear about your scares, wow, not really surprising then that you are stressed. I feel that only time here is going to help. You need to get past the point where you lost Thomas and I think you'll only be able to move forward from there. During the first three months I was waiting for my dh to say "no more" and am grateful that he never did. I think marriages do go through stressful moments (although I think Pie's sounds a little more extreme) and I hope that your dh can simply continue to be supportive. I know that I couldn't relax so I don't think I could possibly say don't worry because that's just stupid. Maybe the best thing would be to agree to do something good in a few weekends time. DH and I are going away (just the two of us) for a weekend whilst dd attends a birthday party elsewhere in the country with my mother. If you both had something to look forward to involving both of you together then this might act as a "light at the end of the tunnel" sort of scenario. I know that dh is really looking forward to this weekend far more than I although I'm looking forward to it too. For him its he see it as the last time to have his wife to himself for a while and really treasures these sorts of weekends (but we've only done one before). I considered suggesting that you promise not to be stressed after a certain period - but there is no way on earth I could do that myself so I'm not sure its the right thing to say. I don't think I will ever feel carefree during this pregnancy but then I'm not sure I did during my dd's pregnancy either!

Its certainly been stressful and I'm horrified to hear about all the problems you've had. I've cetainly been thinking about you and hoping that it was going well. Sending you loads and loads of hugs.

Phew what a relief to have an empty bladder at last! Well all my fears that this baby was not as active as my last 2 were completely unfounded as this one wriggled around so much she had to chase it all over my tummy. I've got the jelly everywhere! It was so lovely, especially as it took so long to do. Everything seems fine. We saw the baby yawn, stretch and suck its thumb with a wonderful commentary from DD the whole time which had us all in stitches. We had decided not to ask the sex but I don't think we could have found out anyway as the little monkey just did not want to pose, although I thought I caught a glimpse of something big between the legs when she first started. We'll just have to wait and see. Oh its such a magic time - funny to think that the next time I see this little one will be when I hold him/her

Coming back to the thing about DH feeling a bit out of it. I'm so glad DH came this morning as I think it makes it much more real for him. For w hwile I was worried he wouldn't bother but that was a bit unfair. I wonder how much of the "He's ambivalent" thing is actually in my own mind. He was certainly involved this morning and we watched this little life last night, which was pretty harrowing but at the same time I kept saying that the baby was only 4 weeks further on that I am now in the hope it would really make DH realise there is a baby in there. I'm gald we watched it although I cried buckets.

Marina, I always felt after my first 2 losses that milestones where a major part of pg after loss and that the more losses you have or the later on the milestones, then the harder it gets. I still remember the dates of my earlier losses and also their due dates. I'd love to do some proper research on this as I feel its something women need more support with. Its not surprising that your DH feels a gulf betweeen you. You are probably very focussed on one thing at the moment. But as you pass milestones and as the baby becomes more visible for your partner then I am sure it will bring you closer again. It must be incredibly difficult for your partner to face up to all his fears and worry about you and worry about this baby too.

Wills I started to feel more confident as we told me. Hard to say whether it was chicken or egg really but I didn't tell anyway till about 14 weeks and I still haven't told my parents. Going to see them tomorrow so I guess I will be stating the obvious then as my bump is pretty noticable now. But as I said I've worried about leaking waters, about frequency of movement and I'm sure there will be more to come. I think the anxiety will just run alongside the positive feelings now.

Oh its so nice to be chatting to you all again.

I love Mumsnet! Glad to hear baby was looking fit and well Katherine! I've managed to change my consultant to another so I'm back off to the doctors this afternoon and I hope to have answers to help me relax. Asthma is not a good thing to stress over!

Blasted boiler went last night and of course today its cold. I'm freezing and so far haven't found anyone to come out. I'm sending my dd to my mother's for the afternoon so she can have a bath! Problem is that my mother has two dogs and I'm allergic to them so I can't escape to there as well. Awful shame because my fingers are gradually turning blue. Instead I'm going to do some cooking. Lots of casseroles - simply so I can keep the oven going all day. Think its also a good day for tumble drying. However that all sounds very energetic so I'll have to find the puff for it.

Glad to hear that dh was with you at the scan. My dh often states simple emotions but upon digging appears to have the full set of complex ones necessary. He tells me he can't relate yet but has already been prodding my tummy for the last 5 or 6 weeks even though I've not been convinced of movement myself. He tells me he feels trapped but is equally concerned over the number of drugs I'm taking. And to think he says that I'm complex!!!!

How did it go with the consultant Wills? Hope you are on the mend.

Told Mum and dad this weekend. Mum was pleased but immediatly started asking if I was feeling sick etc. She always focuses on the negative in everything now which is why I didn't want to tell her ( didn't want her to spoil it) and dad, well he went on and on about why we would want to saddle ourselves with another etc. I know its just an act but it still winds me up. Still at least its done now and our duty visit is out of the way for another couple of months. I know that sounds horrible but quality of life issues, complete self-obsession and declining hygiene make parental visits trully nightmarish just now, especially when the house is brimming with medication which they make no effort to put out of reach of little fingers etc.Oh well enough said.

Spent the afternoon landscaping a neighbours garden (its really tiny so not as major as it sounds and all I did was build a rockery and cover the lawn/mud with bark chippings). Glad to see my energy is coming back although I am now crippled with back ache. Lets hope DH feels like fussing over me tonight Little one is providing reassuring prods every few hours just to let me know all is well

Hi ya,

I've just got home having just been discharged from hospital - again (and of course pretty much logged straight onto Mumsnet). Hopefully this time I'll stay home! Luckily someone had the foresight this time to realise that I was naturally concerned about the baby and that that concern was not exactly helping my asthma. Thus I was put under the care of a chest specialist AND a Gynacologist (can't spell) and they came along and scanned the little one. Little one looks extremely healthy and has continued to move and kick which is wonderful. I'm everso glad to be home as is my dd who had taken to refusing to eat unless in my presence (a little difficult!).

Its taking me a long time to recover and it turns out its because they put me on the wrong medication i.e. they gave me 4mg of steriods instead of 40mg. This was only discovered as they discharged me but explains why I'm still poorly. At the moment I'm so relieved to be home that I don't care but I suspect I'll get annoyed tomorrow.

Anyway glad to hear you're still getting kicked - its such a lovely sensation!

Marina? Hows things with you????

Hi Wills, poor you. Bet you can't wait to get some sleep in your own bed. Still at least you are being well looked after now.

Had my MW appointment this morning and all is well apart from a bit of protein in my urine. BP is low though so no enclampsia worries and don't really feel like I've got an infection. Have to wait and see.

Still winging about back ache. DH has offered to buy me a grobag pillow for Mothers Day which is really sweet although he left it to me to order and pay for it! Also my skin is going really dry and flaky on my arms and bum so I keep have to scratch my bum all the time. Not a pretty sight!

Just can't beleive that I'm half way now!
Hope you are OK Marina.

I'm up and down a bit, Wills, but like you and Katherine getting more squirms and bumps now. This week and next are milestones for me in that Tom died about now (we don't know exactly but it was approx 21 weeks and he was born five days later). Dh and I have both been having nightmares about his birth and this baby, which has been distressing but is not unusual apparently. We are also absolutely dreading our anomaly scan next week.
More positively, I have linked up with my local SANDS branch, full of brilliant women who have lost a baby, and many have since had a successful pregnancy. It has been so helpful to compare notes with them. SANDS really is a wonderful organisation, I hope to do some work for them once I am more over this period in my life.
Anyway, VERY sorry to hear your stay in hospital was extended because of wrong dosages, how annoying for you (and dd by the sound of things too). Glad to hear you have been sprung at last! And good that you are getting the extra care your asthma needs.
Katherine, I am seriously impressed at the gardening. I am happy to walk a lot but too chicken to do much bending and lifting!

OOOOOhhhh - a nights sleep in my own bed and not being awoken at 6.00 am in the morning for pills. Fabulous, I feel ready to conquer the world already! (as long as it doesn't mean I have to walk far!). Last night I was sprawled on the sofa watching TV with dh, his hand as always on the bump, when suddenly I realised that the little one was definitely responding the presence of his hand. Told him to press a little firmer and he got an immediate response which he felt!!!! He then tried to act blaze but I assure you he sat there with a small grin across his face for the rest of the evening. Trapped?- pah!

Katherine - planning to tackle parts of the garden over the next couple of days. Unfortunately I haven't the breath to do major stuff so it will be weeding a little gentle planting for me but its such fabulous weather, I only hope it lasts a little longer. I've been watching it from my hospital bed and although the hospital had a patio garden they don't open it until after Easter!!!!!! I suspect the weather is probably on the wane but looking at it now I'm off outside to get some air!

Marina - My thoughts are with you and everything is crossed. I really really routing for you and the little one!

Marina. Its bound to be a tough time for you. There is really nothing I can say other than take one day at a time and I will be thinking of you. My gardening exploits probably sound more impressive than they really are - lifting bark chippings is like lifting duvets, very light weight and as for all the bending, well I just spend my time on my hands and knees with my bum in the air (scratching it periodically!) as I can't cope with the bending either. Put up a lovely new bird table too and DD (3) really impressed me by naming Thrush, Blackbird, Robin and wren. Trouble is the weather is just too nice to be inside so I'm not getting any work done and the house is a bomb site. Oh well no doubt it will rain soon enough!

Having a really bad weeekend. I suspect the antibiotics are starting to get me down but everything still feels like it keeps going wrong - for instance somehow the freezer got turned off. I'd just fillled it! A big enormous standup freezer full of food - gone! I know I can make a claim but I feel that the insurance company are bound to screw us! Everyone's told us to lie on the claim form but I'm just no good at that sort of thing. So I've spent the day trying to cook things. I'm knackered, had to go shopping with dd for shoes this morning (failed)then take her swimming, then dump her at my dm's whilst I did a marathon cooking session. On top of which dh has a cold and spent most of the night up. This is going to sound really stupid but I have this sense of forboding! So many bad things have happened that I'm on edge waiting for the bleeding to start. I'm looking for it - which is so stupid I know. I haven't felt the little one kick much - probably because I'm running around like an idiot. Its been so horrid recently that I'm longing to drown myself in a bottle of wine - really missing it but determined not to give in. Oh and my dh had a row with dd this afternoon and stomped off. I was on the phone to the insurance company and suddenly heard my daughter screaming - she was outside - in the front. We live on a major road and she could easily have walked into the road. I'm still shuddering now, how could this happen. We're normally so careful. Dh and I constantly row because I wont let him put the door on the latch in case it blows open. He doesn't know it yet but I'm going to buy a gate for the porch tomorrow and stand over him until he puts it on! It makes me feel like we're bad parents. I told my dm and she was disgusted with me - so that hasn't helped me either. Phew - bad day/weekend/fortnight.

Oh wills, there are good days and bad days and this is a really bad day for you but hopefully today (Sunday) will be much better as its mothers day

Once when we went on holiday I carefully turned all the sockets off. Half way through the holiday I realised that included the freezer so we came home to a soggy floor and foul smells. Was so stupid and felt so angry with myself. We've all done things like this.

I also went through a couple of weeks of being convined something terrible was wrong after I'd felt the first definite kicks as they just weren't as often as I remembered with my others. However I think you remember how it feels later on when you get loads of kicks. IT was only when I had my scan last week and the baby wouldn't keep still at all but I couldn;t feel it that I beleived everything was normal again. Of course since then I've felt plenty of kicks every day. I'm sure this little one is trying to wind me up!

Oh and last weekend at my parents (on a country lane but with some traffic) DH left the children playing in the garden and came in to ask me something. Next thing I glimpsed DD trotting off up the road. She wanted to go and see the horse!

The gate sound slike a good idea as it will at least give you peace of mind. My 2 both put stools behind the door and climb up to unlock it now so a gate but give that extra security.

Hope you are feeling better today. I got my lovely pillow from Grobag which I'm hoping will make a huge difference. Have been sleeping with a pillow between my legs the last few nights (just practicing ) and it has made a huge difference with the back pain.

Oh well off to Ikea now. Mad thing to do on Mothers Day I know but going to look at new cars too which should be fun (there is no way to get three in a row in the back with our current matiz)

Hope everyone is having a lovely mothers day

Quick question Katherine...which size Grobag are you trying and how much do you think it will help with the backache..I still have a terrible one and am getting desperate!

Oh Wills, I so understand how you've been feeling . I've been very blue myself over the past few days (and that's without a spell in hospital to get over) and feeling also like a big drink when I get so few kicks and squirms to reassure me. I had ANOTHER no heartbeat scare on Friday (scan proved yet again that this baby must be some kind of Houdini and was fine - then).
So sorry about your bad Saturday, do hope today was better. Tackle the claim form when you feel a bit stronger - or maybe get dh to do it. I find mine is always much less emotive about these annoying domestic matters. Could also be a nice way to make up to you for forgetting who was the toddler and who was the grownup in his recent standoff with dd...
My mother is completely insensitive about this pregnancy to the extent that I don't talk to her about it. Easier for me than you as luckily for our ongoing relationship she is 350 miles away and cannot see the faces I am pulling on the phone.
Big hugs to you and let's hope we are both soon feeling as positive and busy as Katherine has been. I have my anomaly scan coming up next week (we have ours at 22 + weeks round my way) and am petrified it will go the same way as our last one did. Once that is over I hope to start shopping (probably not for cars though Katherine - how did you get on?)

Today was definitely better. For starters I was awoken to the sound of my dd singing happy birthday (well she's only 3). She has been an absolutely sweetheart all day and I've really enjoyed watching her play. I took myself out shopping and treated myself to some new tops from Next - I can't abide a lot of the current maternity fashions and I'm happy to show off the bump and don't feel the need to cover it up under an enormous and long T shirt which never flatters me. The rest of the day was spent gardening and visiting my mum. I've not felt much in terms of movement and when I do it doesn't feel as strong as I'm hoping for so I immediately question whether or not I'm really feeling anything. Stupid really. I've still got the dumps but I really do suspect that its the quantity of steroids and antibiotics as I've had this before and I know they affect me. 2 more days of heavy dosage and then a checkup - fingers crossed for the all - clear! My asthma has not settled completely yet but its getting there.

Marina - gosh another very scarey car journey. They alone would get me down, I think you're doing everso well. I know what you mean when you say as positive as Katherine, going to make it this week's goal!

Katherine - thanks for the story about dd trotting up the road. DD is incredibly nimble and dh hasn't put the gate up yet because she'll work it out in seconds. I'm now looking for a means to secure it without making it impossible for us to get through.

What is a grobag?

Off for a luxury bubble bath just run by dh.

Thanks for the messages - they really helped.

HI All - Wills grobag is a company who do gorgeous sleeping bags for babies, but they also do these wonderful long maternity cushions for during pg and when BF. I had one with my last 2 pg from boots which was good but not as good as these and has since been passed on so DH treated me to a new one. Its the standard size Pie as I thought the big one would take over the bed too much (its crowded enough with both of us, bump and 2 toddlers!). It works really well and I'm very pleased with it.

Ikea was surprisingly quiet (I bet no-one else puts themselves through it on mothers day) but it was a rare treat to go straight through the tills. We got our new washbasin for the bathroom at last. Just need taps now! and then went to look at cars. It was so frustrating. Have you ever seem that programme right car wrong car? were they strike a hard bargain with the salespeople. Well DH would have been star of the show. He got us a really good deal on a nearly new Ford Focus but they just wouldn't budge on the last thing he wanted so we walked away. I was good practice and was the first one we'd looked at so it was good to hold our horses but frustrating to be so in reach of such a lovely new car. Off to look at Golfs next weekend. Fingers crossed.

Marina and Wills - honestly don't torture yourselves about how much movement you are feeling yet. Like I said I got myself into a real state about it. Convinced this baby was so much less active than my other two. Only the scan proved that wasn't the case and the baby is starting to get more active now. Its only natural that we should be impatient as we need the reassurance but it will come.

Oh well better get on. Crazy day as I remembered I'd left my car keys in DHs car just as he pulled away this morning. SO I've had to organise a neighbour to run DS to school and find someone else to pick him up and now I'm trapped her. Better get this kids picnic bench from ikea painted I suppose. Any excuse to be out in the sunshine rather than working. Or maybe I could just sit outside with a cup of coffee and several large chocolate biscuits.......