for mums2b moving on from the pg after mc thread.....

[Katherine]

I'm hoping Wills and the other mums I spoke to on the Pg after mc thread will join me here (along with anyone else of course) as I really miss chatting to you but no longer feel it is appropriate to post on a mc thread now that I'm almost half way there. However I find the "anyone due..." threads to have mums due at other times than me and I miss my old chats. So come on guys how are you doing now?

I am now 19 weeks and have my major scan on Friday. Baby has been really kicking properly and DH can feel him/her too. Some days are very active and others are very quiet which worries me. I don't remember such eractic activity with my other 2 but hey they are all different. Still struggling with Sciatica and my nose is incredibly dry and sore all the time but otherwise I feel great and am starting to get my energy back - spent the last few days sorting out a neighbours garden.

Had flu a couple of weeks ago which really wiped me out and left me with a terrible cough which totally defeated my pelvic floor muscles so I had to wear towels. Spent most of my time convinced my waters were leaking so I guess I'm still pretty over anxious.

Hope you are all OK.

I do wonder if it is the prolonged dry spell of weather as well, Wills. I've found Ponds Cocoa Butter cream/lotion good (if you don't mind smelling like a chocolate bar for the rest of the day) but my own fave is Clarins Body Balm (for EXTRA dry skin). It smells lovely, but is three times the price of the Ponds.
I had the Avent stuff last time round and the perfume brings back unhappy memories for me (it's often the little things, isn't it), but objectively I thought they smelt great and were very soothing and effective.
Good luck with picking up the car, Katherine!

Well I just got back from my booking appointment. I got there at 8.30am and they kept me until 2.30pm.

I went through all the usual stuff with the midwife, then they sent me over for an ultrasound. The sonographer umed and ered said there was a raised nuchal growth larger than 14 weeks should be. They sent me for a walk to get the baby to move as she wanted her supervisor to look at the scan. So the supervisor ums and errs. Then they send me up to the Centre for Foetal Care. The doctor asks what they told me down in ultrasound. I say only the raised nuchal fold.. Hes says so they didn't mention a massive growth on the spine?

Er no....

So he hooks me up to a state of the art 3D imaging machine, the only one in the country. After 50 minutes of poking he says he can't see any spinal or brain abnormalities. But as this pregnancy wasn't planned and hence I didn't take folic acid, he want to do another scan in 2 weeks to follow the spina bifida querry up.

Then he says I want to do a CVS and take samples for a Down's test as he has calculated my risk as 1 in 300. I say ok get it over with so that I can have those results when I go back in 2 weeks.

He preps me then stops before the needle goes in. He says that if he isn't happy with what he sees in 2 weeks re:the spine then he would have to do an amnio. So rather than do 2 risk increasing procedures in 2 weeks he'll do one amnio in 2 weeks for the Downs and if necessary spina bifida as well.

So just your routine booking antenatal appointment. With the first trimester I've had I really hoped the worse would be over...

I'm off to put my head in the oven.

Pie - it is terrible the way pregnant women are treated sometimes - and the worst thing is they probably have you climbing the walls with worry for no reason! Try to stay positive and calm if possible - I am sure you will be OK. XX

So how are you all doing on here? I have finally shaken off my monster cold and am feeling OK apart from some heartburn. Wills posted on another thread about feeling very emotional at present - I have also have one or two nightmares leading to mild panic attacks in the past fortnight, not nice at 2am, and especially when you finally feel that consciously at least you are starting to relax about the pregnancy a little more.
Pie, how are you getting on? Hoping that no news is good news from all quarters.

Feeling v. low actually. Feeling very cumbersome (already!), lethargic and unmotivated. My work is not going well at the moment and don't seem to be getting on with DH. The fact that he sawed through the pipe to the cold water for the bath yesterday and then discovered he didn't have all the bits he needed to fit the new taps has not helped as now cannot even wallow in bath feeling sorry for myself without spending half an hour adding cold water from a jug!

I wonder how much is hormonal as I do feel very emotional about things. Also have a very short fuse. Its my birthday tomorrow and so far haven't been able to motivate myself to plan anything fun. Everything seems too much effort. Just can't beleive I have 6 days left of the 2nd trimester and still haven't started blooming! Maybe I'm just a late starter.

Cough is finally clearing, although still seem to have damp knickers! (constant panic about waters breaking) and feel like I haven't slept for ages. What a happy bunny eh!

Glad you are going OK Marina (apart from bad nights of course). Maybe its just a way of preparing us for those nighttime feeds which will be coming soon.

Oh, Katherine - I might as well 'fess up here that I feel the size of a small house already (well I am short and was a 16-18 before I even started this pregnancy) - so sorry you are feeling a bit lumbering too. I am going to raise my bump size at my antenatal clinic on Weds but I expect the midwives will quite correctly compare it to my backside and chest and tell me to get a sense of perspective. I keep telling myself I carried high and pointy with ds1...
Very sorry to hear about your taps and your dh. I should think defensive guilt about butchering your bathtub is making him extra unsociable. I can definitely empathise with feeling on a knife-edge and not "blooming", you're not alone there.
I really hope tomorrow brings some good cheer and some much-deserved nice presents and treats.

Happy birthday Katherine. Sorry to hear that both you and Marina are both up and down, to different extents of course. I'm 16 weeks now so right at the beginning of the 2nd trimsester. This blooming middle period is just a myth if you ask me.... Did either of you feel good during your first pregnancies? All I remember of having DD is sleeping all the time.

I have my amnio this Thursday...and I'm barely sleeping at night then I fall asleep on the sofa at about 3pm. My DH is doing his best to be supportive but we are basically avoiding the whole subject (amnio) as it often leads to shouting and/or crying.

I have just realised that Monday is a bank holiday so I will have another day added on the wait to find out the results.

Anyone got a Flux capicitor and a car spare?

good luck katherine im 4 weeks just at the start! hehe xxx

Hi there Pie, sorry to hear about the lack of sleep at night. If I was at home I'd be nodding off too, I think it's nature's way of trying to tell us to take it a bit easier.
To be honest I felt great throughout my first pregnancy - although I wonder with hindsight whether it was just a total lack of awareness over what might go wrong...
Sorry you and dh are also finding it hard to talk about the amnio results. Will he be able to at least attend the meeting when you are given them? Hopefully whoever discusses it with you will be sensitive to how hard it has been for you lately.
Can't help with the flux capacitor or a car I'm afraid! Take care. Keep us posted as to how you are doing, I think you are coping amazingly well.

happy birthday kat! xx

I think that the fast track results (that we have to pay for so we don't have to wait 2 weeks) will be back on one of DH's college days (he is a part time student). You have to ring the clinic the afternoon they are due back and they give you the results over the phone. I told DH that I wanted him to take that afternoon of so he could be with me when I call for the results. He did NOT look happy...

I swear as soon as everything is ok again...whenever that maybe you will find me in the nearest pub garden. Although being teetotal I think the fumes alone will have me on the floor

Hi,

Katherine/Marina - I'm so sorry to hear you're both down. I know how you feel, I'm up and down like a yoyo. At the moment its up as I've just returned from four fabulous days at Centre Parcs with some great friends and their even more adorable 10 month baby girl (gosh but the cuddles were lovely and I'm so looking forward to cuddling bump). I'm still shattered most of the time and even during the weekend had to give in a take a nap during the day - very frustrating when your holiday is only 3 nights away!

Back at work today and it felt like an enormous bump back to earth. I now feel enormous - I'm sure that I'm much much larger this time than last and everything aches - can't wait for my bath tonight - so I really feel for you Katherine. I'm sure I didn't feel like this last time until much later on. Oh and no-one got up for me on the tube and one man looked disgusted at me because I couldn't breath in and let him on the train grrrrr.

Marina - I know what you mean re: worrying. Before I went I felt very blue/annoyed with myself. I'd really like to get to that state I was in during dd's pregnancy where every twinge and creak was attributed to the aches of pregnancy and not the fear of miscarriage. Whilst away I had pins and needles across my belly button (i.e. the top of my womb). Phoned the midwife who promptly told me to come in and get it checked. They duly prodded and listen etc and told me that although they'd never heard of it before - all was well. I felt sooo stupid.

Oh and thanks for the advice on creams - I bought the Avent in the end because it was all that Tescos sold. I'm considering persauding my dh that he should buy the other instead as a treat for me. Unfortunately he hates the smell of any creams so no nice back rubs for me . I see what you both mean about quantities - I'm almost through already.

Katherine - many many happy returns and I hope that today was far better than you thought it would be last night.

Pie - good luck next Thursday. I will be thinking of you and wishing you tonnes and tonnes of luck. As for teetotal, I tried a bottle of alcohol free lager (0.05%) and I swear to you I had a hangover the following morning. How odd????

Wow Kirby - many congratulations.

Katherine - Just had a thought.... Couldn't you persaude dh to make up for the lack of baths by treating you to a spa day. Personally I've never been but they always advertise them with a pool and the way I feel at the mo I could very happily spend a day lounging in water.

Me again. I've been thinking, you lot always manage to cheer me up so as I'm the one on the up at the moment I feel its down to me so to speak. Ummmmm I too am feeling particularly large at the moment but I've absolutely zero regrets about being pregnant regardless of how I looks so I'm trying to grin (although often its grimace)my way through the comments so... How about an "I'm so big that.... " set of comments? Tell me where to go if they're not funny however.

I'm so big that the other day my doctor suggested I check with the hospital that they were sure I wasn't carrying twins.

I'm so big that last week an extraordinarily fraile looking old woman offered to help pack my bags and carry them to the car for me (ARRRHHH).

I'm NOT so big that anyone bothers to get up off their seats on tube this morning.

I'm NOT so big that my team noticed and I had to tell some more of them today (I wouldn't mind but bump is now arriving at meetings before me!). Blimey but men can be amazingly unobservant.

I'm so big that parking in the car park is getting a bit like a lottery - will I be able to get back into the car when I get back?

Mind you - can't rest my cup of tea on it yet.

HTH's everyone.

It did, Wills
Glad to hear you had such a nice if sleepy time at Centreparcs. I have to say my worries have lifted a bit since last posting, because I am back in "moderate drinking" training and enjoyed a small glass of Cotes du Rhone last night. Very nice it was too.
I've definitely got a colossal bump this time and am successfully blagging seats on the tube just by arching my back a teeny bit. Unfortunately I also have a bottom and chest to match and look like that prehistoric artefact the Venus of Willendorf. (Imagine a lumpy potato with small legs). Had a visit from a pencil-slim friend on Saturday and she just could not resist a few digs in amongst the congratulations...
And I can park a cuppa on mine provided I am already slumped on the sofa in the evenings.
So glad you are feeling positive at the moment!
Pie, very best of luck for tomorrow. We'll all be thinking of you.
Katherine, hope you had a very nice birthday yesterday and everyone made a big fuss of you.

Hi All. Thanks for your good wishes. It was a lovely day in the end. The night before I had a good heart to heart with DH about how rotten I feel this pg and how disappointed as I was really looking forward to the expereince as it will be the last time and I feel sort of cheated, what with the nightmare first trimester hot on the heals of the mc, then an 11 week cough and cold and now this lethargy. I just feel like I'm really missing out on a special time and I've got work worries too (tourism industry/ effects of war thing). DH was surprisingly sympathetic about everything and I feel a lot closer to him again now. We had a good chat about names which perked me up a bit and then on my birthday he went into work late so he could bring me tea in bed and open my cards/ presents with me. Spent the morning choosing and ordering my digital camera and spent the afternoon at the garden centre with DD, a real treat (I knew DH could tell me off for buying plants on my birthday). Then he left work early and stopped off to buy me flowers, birthday cake and even plants (oops!) and fussed over me all evening (even ran a bath for me !! - must tell him about the spa wills )

Saw the MW this morning and everything is fine. Expected them to take blood again this time as slightly concerned I might be anaemic but she didn't and I prefer to keep the medical side to a minimum so said nothing. I'm not THAT worried. Bump measures spot on for 25 weeks so not sure why I feel so big, maybe just because I'm smallish. HB was 144 (is it girls or boys that are meant to have the slower one?) and baby seemed to have hicupps which was really sweet. Strange afternoon putting my plants in in the pouring rain but kids had fun anyway.

Glad everyone else is feeling huge too. Just think how much bigger we are all going to get though Thanks for cheering me up.

Pie thinking of you.

Hi all thought I'd check back in and see how you're all doing?

I'm fine, but definitely feeling that my 3rd trimester has started - even though I don't think its due to start until next week! Talking of which - when does the 3rd Trimester start? I was so concerned about the end of the 1st that I've never really paid much attention to the move to the next. Still extraordinarily tired but suspect that's to do with disturbed nights with the little one kicking round the clock (have been told by my mother that it must therefore be a boy - will be interesting when I find out).

I can't believe I'm 25 weeks already! Suddenly time is flying past and unfortunatley I've still got the attitude of not really thinking about it. Was wondering if anyone else was like this. I've noticed on Mumsnet that other people are starting to plan things and I'm ever so grateful because they're all asking questions that I know I will want answered. Like today and Cha's question on birthing pools. I went to see my GP last week to a) change hospitals because I'm really not happy with the standard of care (plus the fact that its a building site at the moment and not due to be finished until October) and b) tell her that I am considering a home birth. She refused to let me change hospitals stating that their books were full (that stumped me!) and really poo pooed the idea of a home birth saying that she didn't think it was for me considering how nervous I'd been at the beginning of this pregnancy. I proceeded to lecture her on how I felt last time during dd's labour and how I feel the hospital created a situation that shouldn't have happened and eventually she conceeded that possibly I should talk to the community midwife (who by the way I've yet to meet). She told me that the final decision was hers - not mine - because she didn't have to take me on. Is this true? Surely not - but at the same time I don't want to have a surly midwife helping me in labour. So I've once again stuck my head in the sand.

I'm currently nesting - but for dd, creating her a new bedroom. I feel completely wasted having sanded and stained two doors and all the skirting boards (bar one). Going to crawl into a hot bath any minute now. Suspect I will then pay for all the activity I've done today with loads of aches and a very alert little one. Its funny the way I think of the little one every day but don't let myself plan for it. Wish I'd let go a little more and just enjoy this pregnancy. Its not the same as during the first trimester, my worry periods are far shorter, simply that I've not let myself dream about this little one. For instance I found myself thinking "one day my dd and I will start getting things ready". Of course doing it now is a little early but the "one day" could have been years off - not weeks. Just wondering if anyone else has found themselves doing this?

Gosh that was a long one. Hope all is well with everyone else.

Hi Wills
Good to here from you and lovely to hear you are starting to enjoy things now.

I feel much chirpier than I did a few weeks ago but still exhausted. V. frustrating when there is so much to be done. I also find it hard to think of the baby being here soon although time does seem to be galloping along. One of my books says the 3rd trimester starts at 26 wks, one says 27 wks. Either way I'm there now so its the final furlong.

I just feel I'm living live at hyper-drive at the moment - loads of work, ferrying children to various places and just generally struggling to keep up.I just want to sleep all the time.

Looking forward to camping for the bank holiday weekend. Heading for the Forest of Dean (3 hrs away). Just hope I don't get stuck in the camping chairs and end up trapped there all weekend!

Hope everyone else is doing well too. Hugs (gave DH a hug yesterday and baby punched him!)

Hello peeps, glad to hear that everyone is finally sounding more secure in their pregnancies. Wills, I think the 3rd trimester begins the 27 or 28th week, I wish I were as far along as you though! Katherine - camping!?!?!?! You are a much braver woman than me, I won't even go when I'm not pregnant.

I'm 18 weeks now. Have been feeling better since the first results of the amnio came back in the clear. Looking forward to getting the full result and hopefully confirmation that this will be my second DD. I just got back from the GP and I have a UTI and Thrush and she has diagnosed some sort of backache I could not begin to repeat, but I can't really feel my legs. Hopefully I won't have to be wait too long to see someone about it. She is also checking for Strep B....

I swear I am never having another child. NEVER. I did see a 4 month old girl in the waiting room at the GP though and nearly started crying as I was just so emotional, really wanting to meet my baby!

Hi all, good to catch up on everyone's news.
Wills, I didn't think any hospital could claim weeks in advance to be "full" for maternity cases! I know sometimes people turn up in labour and have to be transferred because the delivery suite is full, but I am surprised to hear that in principle you are being denied your choice of hospital. Is there any chance you misunderstood your GP? And I don't think "being nervous" at the start of a pregnancy disqualifies you from opting for home birth...pregnancy complications, etc, maybe! She is a ONE sometimes. Mind you, I'm quite pleased to have my GP practice out of the loop, I'm sorry you still have to grapple with yours. You never know, the Community Midwife might be just like Mears or Leese...
I managed to get my head round buying some Avent Future Mother products in the end after even cocoa butter stopped working on my flaking legs. I think the spray body oil is wonderful and it certainly seems to be helping with the dry skin.
I definitely feel unable to plan ahead for this baby. We were shopping at the weekend and ds spotted some adorable newborn gear in the children's section at John Lewis. "Let's get this for my baby" he said, and I was at a loss to explain why I just couldn't. Can't think about pushchairs, can't get round to taking up my NCT teacher's offer of one-to-one refresher classes, have put off maternity leave budget summit with dh indefinitely - and am torn between wanting to meet this baby and absolutely dreading the birth, however it happens. So it's not just you Wills and I do also have periods of feeling positive too. They just don't lead to anything constructive, unlike you and Katherine, who have been very busy.
Like Pie, am also not one of life's campers, but hope Katherine and co have a super time in the New Forest. Also hope the rest of the results come through for you OK Pie, and that you feel better soon.

Pie hope you are feeling better soon. You've certainly been through the mill with this pg.

Wills meant to answer this and forgot (too busy going on about me!). I find it hard to beleive that a hospital can say they are full for a future date. Its not as if you are booking in for an operation or anything. All sounds a bit bizarre to me. I think your GP is just being a bit difficult. As for refusing to let you have a homebirth - well I understood this was every womans legal right. They can advise that they think its a bad idea and can even refuse to treat you in which case you just need to find a GP who is a bit more open-minded, but they certainly can't forbid you. As for suggesting that you can't because you are were anxious - thats ridiculous. Any descision to avise against homebirth should be based on perceived risk to the mum and baby - as long as you are a low risk pg there is no reason why you shouldn't give it serious thought.

On a more positive note I am sure your community midwife will be far more open to things and should provide a much better level of care for you. I just hope you manage to make contact with her soon. Make a fuss - you deserve to be treated with respect and consideration, not fobbed off all the time.

Hi guys,

Still thinking about the homebirth and am getting myself prepared mentally for my visit with the Midwife tomorrow. One concern that came up was that dd had the cord around her neck - might go and ask these questions on a homebirth thread.

Most things are fine, but we had some dreadful news about my husband's health. 7 years ago he had cancer (bladder) but it was treated and we moved on. He gets yearly checks and up until yesterday they always came back nice and negative. Yesterday's results weren't awful, but they weren't good either and there is the possibility that its back. They want to see him again in four months time just after the little one will have been born. In some ways this little one will distract us and it will time for dh's visit before we know it - its just that I'd truly started to believe that it was in the past and over and done with. I wrote him a loving email today and ended up in tears (had to rush to the toilets etc). He doesn't want to discuss it and would far rather put his head in the sand - and since I've done this with him before I've learnt that he simply needs time to come to terms with it so its not being discussed at the moment. But I want to talk about it .

Baby is still kicking wonderfully , and my dd is being particularly sweet at the moment. Still tired but re-arranging my expectations of what can be achieved in an evening is helping. I'm soooo looking foward to this little one joining us.

Oh Wills, so sorry to hear your potentially bad news...I know what you mean about wanting to talk, but not being able to as he's not ready. Perhaps you could write what you are feeling down as you are feeling it and then give it to your husband when he feels ready.

Could the test have shown pre cancerous cells? I really don't know what to say

Glad to hear the the baby is kicking nicely though.

Wills,sorry to read this news about your husband-just when you were starting to look forward to the future.I don't know anything about this type of cancer but is the fact that they don't want to see him again for 4 months good in that it indicates that the results aren't too serious or is that just indicitive of long waiting lists.(I do hope it isn't the 2nd )My husband is a "non-talker"too. As am I.I'm sure that when he feels ready you'll be the first person he turns to.Or maybe he feels that you've had enough stress recently and doesn't want to drag you down?