40+ Yummy Mummies :-)

[mrsboogie]

mornin' ladies

and the conversation continues...

Hey mrsb.

We've not long been back from ECG appointment. Doc said pressures in her lungs have come down which is good. Prolly since coming off O2. However, PDA is still there and not reduced in size but...not affecting her. So we're back in 6-8 weeks when the consultant is bringing in another consultant to have a look and see if it needs surgery. We'll discuss after next ECG. If she manages to get to 7kgs and she's still not being affected by it but still has it, there is a new procedure which goes in through the groin and is less invasive but she has to be over 7kgs to have this. Plus, we're told today that all surgery takes place in Liverpool so we'll have to go over there for a night if she does........another wait and see for a few weeks which is good

She's up for her eye review in January but no date as yet. Hopefully that'll go ok too.

Good news jw - a further reprieve and no hospital stays in the middle of winter! doesn't sound too bad all things considered - main thing is its not affecting her I guess. Surely they can wait till she's 7kg and do the less invasive procedure in that case if it has to be done? - she'll not be far off 7kg in 6 to 8 weeks I'd imagine.

I meant to ask about her eye situation - fingers crossed for that also.

Mr D has really found his voice in the last week or so an now engages in great long warbling conversations with all and sundry!

Aye mrsb K is also gurgling away at anyone that'll listen. Also after all the brilliant toys we got her she's found the best toy of all - her hands! LOL She's a funny 'un for sure. Also I'm having to change her babygro's in the day due to wetness (dribble) 3 times today. It's not teething though. Think it's the old hands in the mouth dribble.

May try her again tomorrow with a bit more baby rice as she's drinking bottles for fun now However, cracked the bedtime routine...she goes down at 10.30pm and a few rocks later, she's gone until the morning. Not sure what'll happen in a couple of months (mebbe less the way she's expanding) when she goes into her cotbed. It doesn't rock, but she might be ok by herself by then.

I was reading on the Bliss messageboard that extreme premmies like K often don't like a lot of physical contact and are often very laid back and don't cry much. Certainly true of her. She really isn't a whiney baby at all and I'm amazed how happy she is to be in her cot She's ok at being cuddled but not for long...then she starts pushing you away.

DSS back from his mother's. Not told him his tooth op is rescheduled for this Friday as last time he worried all week and cried. Told DH not to mention it until Thursday night then he hasn't got the worry for days and he can enjoy his toys in the meantime

Is JJ back from her jaunt yet?

Are you trying to fatten that baby up to make the 7kg mark, JW? . Sounds like it will be worth it to avoid more intrusive surgery - good luck! And well done for getting her down for a good night's sleep - that seems to be the area which gives most parents most problems.

Both of mine rejected baby rice - DD's first food was all worthy spoonfuls of butternut squash or broccoli purees lovingly pushed through tiny sieves, while DS went straight into mushed up chicken dinners. They're both good eaters now so I have no recommendations to make...

D is the same jw - fists permanently wedged in his gob - sometimes with the dummy hanging out the side as well. I am envious of your nighttime routine - we are nowhere near that with D. In fact he has recently taken to whinging in his sleep every few hours. Not hungry or awake but having to be rocked or taken into our bed. I doubt we will be at the point of him sleeping through when I go back to work.

Can one of you ladies remind me about weaning - do we start with one meal of baby rice a day instead of a bottle or is it a couple of times a day or with bottles?. And does one start giving baby rice at night or for breakfast? Need to get my head straight about it as it will co-incide with my return to work.

Sensible sounding children ermintrude

hello everyone we are back, it was lovely to see my folks but we all had colds & O would not sleep in his travel cot at all and was so congested he kept waking for most of the night ....it is good to be home .

I hope you all had lovely a Christmas and Santa was kind too all.

Well done K an the ECG, she just needs a bit of melted Thorntons in that baby rice JW and she will be 7kg in no time.

MrsB I think with weaning you start by giving a little bit of food once a day? and then following with a bottle anyway cos they will not really be taking every much food to start with. Beyond that I am rather vague and it has all changed since 5 yrs ago, I'm afraid I will have to talk to the HV when I get there. Any luck with finding a nursery?

Hi Honey(s) I'm HOME

Hope everyone had a lovely crimble - I've not read back through all the posts yet. But I did see the ECG went sort of well jw That's good news. So, 7kg is the magic number eh - sounds like Thorntons could be the answer

Weaning, schweaning....pah....mrsboogie it's all a bit suck it and see over here at JJ towers. Baby rice was totally rejected! Like Ermintrude I've found butternut squash a hit! I've done ice cube trays full of the stuff and mixed it with carrots, spuds, cauliflower etc, etc, etc. Top fave is the Banana and rasberry mix....bless her....she actually coos! Started giving at about 11-midday - so if it all goes sick'tastic' they'll do it before bed time. Now a month in I'm doing lunch and dinner but still milk for breaky. Probably start breaky this week.

Well, glad to be back although my folks were soooo attentive to the girls....thoroughly spoilt with attention they were. Iris loved her little bed and slept like an angel and Verity slept all night on Christmas day but has been a pain in the a*se ever since

We made it to IKEA but have managed to avoid the shops - including passing by Bicester Shopping village today!

Can't face anymore pies, puddings....or CAKE!

Oooo - just read back over the threads - ladymac sounds like you and me got very similar pressies! I see your fancy fig-coloured scales and raise you a pale blue enamel bread bin with a wooden chopping board for a lid and a single piece granite pestle and mortar I've been swooning over a swanky new kitchen shop in Marlow - like a posh Lakeland it is - so DP decided to do a one stop shop!

Oh AND I got a Ped Egg from both my DP AND my parents. Blimey, my hard skin and callouses must be legendary

welcome back hedgepig and thanks.

We have found a nursery - as in there is one convenient for work that has places - we haven't yet been to see it though. Will be doing so in the New Year.

OH's mum offered over xmas to take unpaid leave from work to help out. She wouldn't take an answer there and then - so I couldn't say anything but I don't know how she can afford not to get paid for months. This will make me sound like an ungrateful cow but my immediate reaction was not a grateful acceptance. I have always had to be very independent and would find it difficult to take so much help from someone else. Also, if I am being perfectly honest I feel resentful at the thought of handing so much of his care over to another family member. I know, I know, I am being a silly cow and will just have to get over it. I am ok with her doing one day a week and him being in a nursery for maybe another two days a week and me and OH doing the rest.

OH thinks we should take all help offered and in a way he is right. I just have horrible visions of a couple of months down the line when she starts telling us what she thinks he should wear/eat or some such and I will go mad and there will be ill feeling. They are a lovely lovely family but in some ways I feel like it is already me against them as OH's default setting isn't to naturally agree with me. IYSWIM.

Feel free to give me a virtual kick up the arse ladies

hi JJ swelcome back.

MrsB I would go and see the nursery 1st because if it isn't suitable then you may have to take up her kind offer but my gut feeling would be as your is, 1 day is OK but it is best to sort out the other days between nursery and OH and yourself because the long term care for D will be a nursery when you get the place at the work nursery. hope that makes some sense!

mrsb I see pro's and con's with both arrangements. Pro's for MiL are:

D will know and love her
D will get one on one attention
MiL will not tell you what you want to hear and be honest about any concerns
MiL will take D even when he's ill and not ring you up at work and demand you come and pick him up just as you're about to go into a meeting (cue men rolling eyes)
It'll save you money

Cons are:

She may well start taking over, giving you advice on what she thinks you should do
If you ever have a bust up over anything it'll be very awkward
You'll have her in your life a lot more (see both above)
She might do things with D you don't agree with but not tell you (and you only find out months later)

Can't you do a compromise and send him to nursery 3 days a week and her 2 or something similar?

Wb JJ and hedgepig. Sounds like you all had a nice time and got lovely prezzies

Nothing much to report from Worf Towers as I've already posted much of it. Can only add I've been doing orders all day as I finished a week ago due to post finishing and started back today. However I've managed to squeeze in some shopping (on and off line!). 3 new Katvig outfits, a funky blanket and a new bath towel..ooh and a pair of fluffy boots (all of this for K I might add). Also got a nice long sleeve tshirt for DSS. All bargains in the sales Only went out for some bum cream as well Thinking of treating myself to some nice shoes but of course, when you start looking you can never see the ones you want. Sadly missed out on the Clarks sale as all the ones I liked had gone in my size (7) when I looked

Oooh meant to say we're debating a holiday this year or not. I've looked at Centre Parcs and the cheapest for end of July/beginning of August is £1,100 for a week and that's before you start adding in all the extras soooooooooooooo me and DH are debating whether to forego holiday until K is bigger and get the garden landscaped instead. We're still debating it but I do quite fancy having the garden done

Morning all and welcome back everyone!

Still luxuriating in not being at work until 5th Jan!

Sounds like everyone had lovely pressies!

mrsb I would never agree to that, but then my ILs are both less than healthy. In fact I told FIL over the holiday (and so did DH) that if he didn't get hearing aides he would never, ever be alone with his grandbaby. When a person can't hear an oven timer when they are standing next to it? No way will they hear a baby crying from upstairs.

I would definitely check out the local nursery first!

Morning all. Just checking in before the wycombe shops and Costco run!!

mrsB yep - i'm totally with jw who saved me the time writing it all out! My MIL has Iris one day and it's been fantastic. She's a brill MIL but I think two days would be my maximum 'comfort Zone' on a family member looking after my LOs. Just that I think it's difficult for the carer not too get too involved and occasionally over-step the mark - then you've got problems. Go on - check out that nursery, you may find it rocks!

jw Centre Parcs are soooo $$$££££$$$ ker-ching! Everyone I know who has forked out has loved it. Were saving up till the girls can ride bikes and make the most of the facitilites. Mind you - it's about the same price as Disneyland Paris

We decided over the hols to buy a stonkingly big/good tent. We reckon then that we'll actually enjoy using it and not be cramped up - then, with us both being self employed, it the weather looks good we can up and leave for a few days. All our money this year is going on the landscaping of the garden - so the girls can benefit from it, rather than it being a dumping ground for DPs skips!

Right - who reckons I can be sensible in the sales?

Morning all. Just back from 16wk midwife appointment and heard baby's heartbeat. I had to ask because they don't do it as a matter of course, but the M/W was v happy to oblige and it was reassuring to hear it, even though I've been feeling flutters for a week or so.

Re: MIL looking after baby - I second what everyone else said. Much depends on your relationship with MIL of course, and maybe even more importantly your DP's relationship with his mother - who will he support if there's any hint of criticism on either side? Or would that situation just make him run away and play Led Zep v loud whilst going Lalala not listening to you? A MIL is even trickier fora woman to deal with than her own mother, usually. A day or two a week could be lovely for all concerned, but too much free childcare and you'll 'owe' her for a fairly massive favour, and even if she has no plans to ever call it in, it will always be there.

We've never lived close enough to either set of parents for it to be an issue which is a relief in some ways - however, I would love some free babysitting and the odd sleepover with granny and grandpa opportunity!

My in-laws have become old quite suddenly - stayed with us for 2 nights and needed the telly so loud it was uncomfortable for the rest of us! I would only leave my 10 and 6 yr old with them in a very safe and simple environment, wouldn't dream of leaving a baby with them. So there's lots to be said for a fit and healthy MIL who's keen and able to help out - within certain parameters.

JJ be sensible in the sales?? Purlease!

We already have all the camping stuff and a big tent (we call it 'the big top'). It's a Vango Diablo 600 but I wasn't up to putting it up this year. It's been well worth it's money as we've had some fab camping hols in it with DSS (and some not so fab where it rained constantly) but not been tested by a baby yet.

If I was going to spend over £1k on a holiday then Disneyland would def NOT be on my list. Ever. Sorry if anyone else likes it and that is your prerogative afterall but it's the type of holiday that makes me shiver. Like you say JJ might be more enjoyable at CP's when K is actually old enough to know what's going on as well

ermintrude I hired one of the Dopplier machines. I think they were very reasonable...something like £9.99 plus P&P for 4 weeks and cheaper to extend. Gave me lots of peace of mind.

mrsb how's it going with the MiL decision? Unfortunately my MiL died early in Feb but I wouldn't have been happy with her minding K full time....she pretty much brought up DSS as both him and DH lived with her but I've had a lot of unravelling to do on that front. Don't get me wrong she was a lovely lady but.......

jj I'm hitting the sales tomorrow! Was just at City Centre for grocery shop and everyone is at least 50% off! Unbelievable!

I also have a Topshop voucher from Christmas. More maternity, here I come!

ermintrude I'm jealous, I still haven't heard the heart beat, just seen it on US! I have a diabetes appointment today, which is just bloods and consult. Aren't the flutters wonderful? I'm 15 weeks today!

Meant to say, we have a Vango Diablo 800 tent which, like the 600, is great for staying a week or more because one of the sleeping compartments can be used to store all the cases and binbags of laundry etc. And the space in the middle is huge, easily fits a table and chairs and cooker etc with room to move. I say for a week or more because it takes a while and at least 2 strongish people to erect, so to speak, so for shorter stays we got a 5-berth Vango dome. Got both v cheap from the internet, after researching at a big camping fair. Camping is so cheap, and if you choose the right kind of site you can make sure you're not kept awake by stag parties etc. and the kids love being in the fresh air. Nothing to lose if the weather is so foul you have to pack up and go either - better than sitting in your expensive rented cottage playing Monotony and thinking of all that wasted cash...

JJ, have you flashed that credit card to your heart's content yet? I tried on a Kaliko party dress reduced from £99 to £29 in John Lewis yesterday - turquoise silk with a crossover neckline, wide band under the buest and full skirt - thinking it might do me for a couple of parties and a wedding in January since there was room for my 'bump' in the skirt. But although I've only put on 4lb so far it's distributed oddly, and I looked like a slutty, fat old prom queen. . Think I'll have to get a proper maternity dress.

JW I think I don't want to get my own Doppler because sometimes I know it's not possible to locate the babe's heart and that would make me more paranoid than just waiting to hear it at the ante-natal clinic. If I'd had a problem with a previous pregnancy I'm sure I'd invest in one.

Ooh jj I'm liking the sound of your swanky bread bin. I regret giving away my black enamel one when we lived in a flat with a small kitchen before we bought this house and there was no room for it.

jw glad it was sort of good news after K's appt yesterday. Am laughing at the idea of you fattening her up like the Christmas turkey. How much does she weigh now?

mrsb sounds like we all pretty much share the same views on your MIL conundrum. My MIL has Elizabeth one day a week when I'm at work and gets so much pleasure from doing it.

Elizabeth's hours are all over the place at the mo. We had friends round to dinner last night and I'd told them to come at 7.30 so that they could see her before she went to bed. She'd decided there was no way she was going to bed while there was a perfectly nice social occasion going on. She was completely charming and just not sleepy. Then we knocked any notion of sleepiness on the head by giving her some of the pavlova I'd made for pud Grace took her into our bed at about 10.30 and we only put her in her cot at midnight. She's just waking up now!

We're going to see some friends tonight, they're cooking an early dinner so I suppose we might get home and get her to bed a wee bit earlier than last night

ermintrude I'm loving the idea of the slutty old fat prom queen look. It's a look I quite often go for myself And how wonderful you heard the baby's heartbeat. I find it amazing every time I hear it.

ooh the heartbeat - yes it is wonderful to hear it. I did buy a Doppler because we had a few issues with Mr D's lack of movements at certain times - but we ended up only using it a few times (which was good). It is true that once you start looking for the heartbeat you have to keep going 'til you find it or else you'll go mad or end up trundling off to hospital in a panic. I wouldn't try to use one before the 16- 18 week mark as it can be too difficult to find hb.

Not much further re the MiL and childcare. She is a lovely woman and only in her mid fifties and probably, well, definitely is fitter than me. Would have absolutely no fears in terms of how well she would look after him. The relationship is good but has always been based on a healthy distance and they never to my knowledge even expressed any disquiet about the fact that their son was in a relationship with someone quite a bit older than himself.

Broached the subject last night with OH who said that his main problem is that I have given the impression of dismissing it out of hand - I may have done but that's only to prevent anyone getting the impression that I am all for it. He also reckons that I am unhappy with the idea of her establishing a whole routine of her own with D. Well, yes I am and I don't think that is a hanging offence especially for someone who's maternal instincts have previously not been greatly in evidence.

Thank you ladies for understanding where I am coming from re her getting too involved and overstepping the mark - that is my main fear as I don't want to be the cause of any ill-feeling. OH would side with whomever he thought was in the right in terms of what was best for D. Am still unclear how she would propose to give up her salary for an extended period and the fact that I would be uncomfortable asking speaks volumes I guess. But what I keep coming back to is what would be best for D and that of course is unquestionably being looked after by grandma.

Sorry, I have wittered on - trying to get it straight in my head .

Welcome back to all you ladies who have been away - anyone care to help me with finishing this last box of Thorton's?

mrsb you say that grandma would be the best person with whom to leave baby D, but if she isn't someone you're completely comfortable and happy with that's not quite the case - I'm not questioning the level of care and love she'd give him, but the relationship between carer and parents, especially mother, is a really important one. I liked using nursery (after looking at lots and choosing the one we liked best - and in one case changing nurseries when the new management messed up the lovely atmosphere) for DC because it didn't leave me wholly dependent on one person and helped my kids become confident about forming easy, good relationships outside the home. Mine loved being with other babies too, and being played with (and patronised) by the toddlers!

I hope you find the right mix-and-match solution, that leaves granny feeling appreciated and useful, you in control of the situation and Darragh having happy days till mum gets back from work.

It's a tricky one without doubt mrsb. I suppose now if you turn down 'her kind off' (don't forget, no one asked her to offer) then I know that if it was me, I'd think I'd be looking like the ungrateful bitch I am. No matter really as it's all about D ultimately.

She'd get over it anyway.

JJ want, nay, need a full report of what Costco is offering in the way of cheapness!

totally agree ermintrude - although I should point out that this arrangement is only meant to be a temporary one until D gets a place at our workplace nursery as I would want him mixing with other kids and all that entails (well, nearly all )

It makes things difficult in that we have no idea when we will get a place - if it was two or three months I could probably live with it but six or more maybe not. Like you say though, depending on one person isn't ideal - for example MiL's own parents are getting on a bit and haven't been well - so she regularly takes off to the other side of the country to look after them - I have asked what would happen when this situation arises again and been told "oh we can work it out between us" which all sounds a bit chaotic and stressful to me. When I go back to work I want to be properly back and not having to make excuses about not coming in because we have childcare problems.

Oh lordy, just noticed how many posts we've managed. Some suggestions for the new one.

40+ yummy (or not so yummy) mummies?

Over 40 Mums and Mums-to-be?

40+ sexy stunnas? (maybe a bit too Reader's Wives?)

Looks at ladymac in her best pouty pose ensconsed in black and red nylon