The sequel - Fab, Sparkly & often Moany 40 + : Preggie or New Mums - come say Hi!

[jeanjeannie]

We've now filled up the last thread - and the two before that! Seems that there are a lot of us old girls out there getting ourselves into trouble

So - if you've just found yourself to be with child or have a LO and you've hit (or about to hit - we'll let you sneak in just under the radar!)the big 4 0, then come say Hi!

There is always a spare comfy chair - plenty of cake and many old ladies to listen to your moans! Think of the lovely ladies knitting shreddies - only we're not sporting a blue rinse, but wearing cashmere and kitten heels

Hello regular ladies. I avoided putting FAT, F*cked or Knackered in the title - tempting as it was

scared - don't be! i endorse johnworf's fingers-in-ears method.

j-j you do need your sleep - and therefore your sanity - so hope you find a way through that suits you and babe. LOL about bf counsellor who thinks 3 months is going some! I have friends who weren't entirely approving of me stopping bf DD at nearly 2 yrs old - but then they didn't think I should go back to work when she was 4 months old either. Oh, the expressing I had to do! Still, they remain my friends and we all have to find our own way through it all.

lilibet - nope, not finding out the sex and haven't with two previous. I didn't want to start thinking of the bump in any particular way and felt that if I knew it was he or she - and maybe therefore named him or her before birth - I'd start imposing my own views on what s/hed be like before s/he'd had been allowed a chance to make his/her own personality known. And as my MIL said, it's nice to have a surprise on the day (!). But lots of friends have been v keen to know the sex for all sorts of reasons.

ermintrude think it's really personal choice. Some like to know, some don't and both are good

I found out what I was having when I was pregnant with Katherine and for a whole 3 weeks I got used to the fact I was having a girl....and then I had her!

I didn't know on any of the older 3 as you simply did not get the choice of knowing. You were not asked either. This was back in the olden days though when scan machines were powered by coal. (now I think of it, they even refused to give me a photo of my oldest child as it was against hospital policy).

Fraid I only managed 3 months of expressing then milk went but it was very hard not having the baby actually there. Still, I don't regret any of it and think that K got what I could muster and that's better than nothing.

JohnWorf I know what you mean about the optimism and the group hug - I'm very smiley today and I shouldn't be as I've been working out finances I am just so pleased that the Americans have done the right thing and can only hope and pray that he lives though his term without some crackpot taking a shot at him.

It has all reminded me of a very favourite poem by Sheenagh Pugh

Sometimes things don't go, after all,
from bad to worse. Some years, muscadel
faces down frost; green thrives; the crops don't fail.
Sometimes a man aims high, and all goes well.

A people sometimes will step back from war,
elect an honest man, decide they care
enough, that they can't leave some stranger poor.
Some men become what they were born for.

Sometimes our best intentions do not go
amiss; sometimes we do as we meant to.
The sun will sometimes melt a field of sorrow
that seemed hard frozen; may it happen for you.

-- Sheenagh Pugh

Did anyone ever watch The West Wing? The finest TV series ever.

Anyhow, I'm very emotional today, cried at my desk when I read his acceptance speech - it's the hormones

Scared, when dh and I wwere considering having a baby, there were so many reasons why we shouldn't have, money being one of them, but we hated the thought of it being 20 years down the line and the reason that a little person had never happened was because of money. Things may be difficult but you have made a fantastic decision and you can coem on here for a moan and cake anytime. Time for a name change?? Should we make suggestions?

Ermintrude I 'accidentally' found out the sex of ds1, (asked the radiographer if she could tell, hadn't decided if I wanted to know, was hoping that she would say no, but she jsut laughed and siad "oh yes, I can tell what this one is") and I regretted it, so didn't last time adn won't this time. I may be a bit anal when it comes to planning but I doliek some surprises. In a few months can I bend your ear with brest feeding questions?
I am a bit reluctant to ask on the board as it can get a bit heated! I bf dd1 for 2 weeks and that was 20 years ago. I'm considering it again but have loads of daft questions.

ermintrude ask away. That's what we're here for

What's the worst we can say apart from 'I don't know'?

lilibet I find this wonderful sparkley thread not at all judgmental and highly supportive on any subject. I know that on some other threads you can ask a simple question and get jumped on by people with strong opinions. Its probably cos we all have a little life experience under our belts .
I found out the sex of my older son but not the younger. It was deliberate not to find out this time as I was convinced that part of the PND problems I had with Ben were related to me having everything planned out and then it not going according to plan. I feel quite perky so hopefully the more relaxed attitude is working.
JJ you are doing a fine job with young Verity the 6 months before weaning is a bloody long time as your MIL says. Do I remember you had tried her on some baby rice? did it make any difference?

I forgot to ask. Those of us who are bottle feeding, are you making up bottles every time you need one as per DoH guidelines?
For Ben I just used to make up bottles of water with fresh boiled water at the start of the day and then add powder as it was needed but the guidelines have changed to this new regime because of the potential for bacterial contamination. How the milk manufactures can get away with selling something that is potentially contaminated is a bit of a mystery to me

Lilibet, happy to try to help with any bf questions you may have, and I bet they won't sound daft.

Johnworf, managing to express for a prem baby for 3 months is a fantastic achievement! My sister's DD had to spend most of her first 4 wks in hospital and it was a terrible struggle for her to express without having established bf and with all the worry about the babe. So hats off to you.

I've just remembered that at my 20-wk scan both DH and I were convinced we saw a quick flash of testicles but since we'd agreed we didn't want to know the sex neither of us mentioned it. We were really surprised when she was born! Apparently baby girls' labia are swollen at that stage of development...

ermintrude that was my worry as I'd read on a thread about scans that go wrong and the labia he pointed out was in fact, testicles....I only worried as I went out straight after the scan and bought a load of pink stuff! No biggy in the grand scheme of things really.

I know what you mean about it being hard BF or expressing for a prem baby...there were a handful of us prem mummies on the unit with babies all around 24-25 weeks born. Some didn't try BF at all, some managed a couple of weeks...and some went on to BF when baby was strong enough to suck and they went home on the boob! So, it's all different for everyone

hedgepig as I seem to be the rebel of this thread I am doing none of the above re making up bottles. I'm doing it the way I did it 20 odd years ago and making them all up in advance with the milk powder in. I put them in the fridge and I make a batch up twice a day. All 3 of my older children had this and they're still here to tell the tale....so as they say, there's always one.....and on this occasion, it's me

Evening ladies - I've had two apples....exciting huh.... Cake-free zone...PAH

ermintrude Thanks for your advice - gosh, all that expressing - well done you I think if I just had the one LO it wouldn't be so bad - I could skulk off to bed!!

Yes hedgpig I tried a few spoonfuls of baby rice but I can see she's just not ready yet. Her tongue is still pushing it all out and her frowning then becomes monumental! I think the 6 mnth mark will actually be about right for her.

I agree that some threads get very passionate and a little dismissive of people if they don't conform to certain ideals. I often feel a terrible failure if I read certain threads.., so I don't

ermintrude We kept the sex a surprise both times. For us it just wasn't an issue...we just didn't feel the need to know. Slight disappointment with DD2 - I thought it may be a puppy !!! My DD1 was prem and she had HUGE labia - so much so that DP said..."it's a girl.....wait.....I think it's a girl?!"

hedgpig we always made two batches of bottles for Iris - one lot for the day, the other (about 6ish) for the eve. Always confused by the manufacturers bacteria issue. Firstly, they used to say that you shouldn't put the powder into water over 70 degrees. So I'd have thought any bacteria would survive that I thought you'd have to boil it to guarentee bacteria removal.

Also I understand that the longer the water is left standing that it (along with bottle) is becoming less sterile. But how clean does it really need to be? - I mean the stomach is pretty darn acidic...and generations have licked dummys and popped them back into LOs mouths...which is surely more loaded with toxins. Anyway - I think the reality of boiling kettles at 2.50am when junior is wailing is ....wrong!!!

JJ & JW it just doesn't make any sense to me either when I did the microbiology units of my degree it was very clear to ensure that you kill bacterial you need boiling water and a boil of several minutes. Now they are saying add cold powder to water at 70degC thus rapidly bringing the temperature even lower how on earth will that kill bacteria???

JJ I hope you have a better night.

I didn't know that advice on bottles had changed! I'm another one - all three of mine had bottles made in advance once a day and (don't tell) with the last one I even warmed them up in the microwave

My dd's labia were that swollen that when the midwife told me it was a girl I asked her if she was sure!

My dd now works for Estee Lauder in a branch of Boots and luckily I get a discount card . It has been double discount day today, which means that I get 45% off all boots own stuff and 25% off everything else. This is a wonderful, wonderful thing especially if you take advantage of the three for two offers. It works out that if you buy three things at a tenner each on three for two you pay £11 for all three of them

So there I was, discount card in hand, wandering through all the lovely white baby clothes and day dreaming but I resisited and didn't even buy a pair of scratch mits. Tempting fate and all that.

well done lilibet on resisting that retail therapy, and how useful grown up children can be . I didn't buy anyting for Oliver as I didn't want to tempt fate. I had most stuff up the loft from Ben anyway but it didn't come down until a week before he came.

Hahahaha hedgepig and there was you asking the question and you did something with Microbiology in your degree! Well, I'm glad to see it foxed you too! I sort of compromised and just made up the bottles with water - and then measured out the powder and popped that in when Iris was howling

OOoolilibet double the discount eh...and what do points make? Mummy VERY happy!!

Off to bed. Don't chat too much you lot or else I can't keep up when I come back to reading the thread! Night night x

Hope you have a better night jj night night!!

hedgepig I make up bottles with boiled water and keep them for up to 24hrs adding the powder as the bottle is required. If sterile water is placed in sterile bottles which are kept closed then I can't see where any contamination of significance can occur and I don't need the microbiology part of my degree to tell me that a baby doesn't need 100% sterile milk !

There's no way I would boil a kettle and wait half an hour then pour in into the bottle and add the powder and cool it while D is screaming his head off. We'd all be gone mad in a day!

I haven't been around much today as OH off off sick with a cold and is keeping away from D (well, not touching him) so I am ran off my feet all day (and no cake) and so tired from last night's shenanigans that I ache all over.

JJ fingers crossed your girls let you have some shut eye last night. Here's hoping

DS#1 has just got a part time job in Schuh over xmas so me and DD#1 are in absolute raptures, already planning what shoes we want with his discount. Gosh he's not even started yet (think he starts this weekend) and I think we've mentally bought half of the shop!

hedgepig grown up children must have some uses!

I've no idea where this bottle making 'new rules' came from. It's daft imho. Like you said mrsb who is going to make a bottle up as and when is needed with a crying baby? Actually, I did when K first came out of hospital....I did one and that was it....I've been making them up in advance since

Hello girls

Can I join? I'm at the opposite end of the whole experience, being a mere 7 weeks pregnant, but am 42, have had four miscarriages in the past three years, and feel this is last chance saloon, so need a welcoming group of oldsters like me to keep me sane!

Hi herbaceous. Welcome to our thread for old biddies

Sorry to hear of your previous MC's but most of us on here have had one so can understand at least some of the upset you've been through Fingers crossed this time though

I'm also 42, have a DD#2 who is now coming up to 8 weeks old (corrected age. She was born at 24wks) Also have 3 older children of 22/19/17 and a DSS who lives with us aged 8. (and a partridge in a pear tree perhaps? )

Anyway, you'll find virtual tea and lots of real sympathy on here. Btw, we like cake. Any cake. Lots of cake OOh yes, and you'll probably become acquainted with Daily Mail website too. Btw, we're not DM fans, but we like the instant gossip it gives

I'm sure you'll get the hang of things as you go along

those of you with useful older children...my godchildren have weekend jobs in Harry Ramsdens and a dance studio so not much use to me.
JJ I hope you got more sleep last night...I so sympathise... Alex had me up every hour last night(except 3 am)Dh is off work this week so took him off to play at 7.30 so I could have an extra 90mins peace. How you are surviving with 2 to cope with I don't know. In my case I can either blame the mmr & pneumococcal vaccines he had on Tues or the fact that he had mushy peas with his tea and was suffering with trapped wind. One of the suggestions that was made to me when Alex was 4/5 months and still wanting feeding at night (and still does!) was for Dh to offer ebm so it wasn't as comforting as the on tap stuff and not so worth waking for...great idea but Alex wouldnt take a bottle and ended up nearly having appoplexy screaming for me. Hope you find a good solution for you soon.

Herb!! Congratulations!! I remember you from the TTC over 40s thread. You will be due about the same time as Tee and maybe just a little bit before me, I'm either 5 + 3 or 9+3 depending on if my bit of a bleed I had was a period or implantaion.

I have phoned my gp and have an appointment for next Thursday at 9.20. I'm unsure what to do about work. I'm quite friendly with my boss and if I have a drs appointment it woud be very strange not to tell her what was the matter. So, do I - tell her it's cholestrol tests which covers me for going back for results, take a days leave and risk bumping into someone who I know (my Drs is in the building where most of the training takes place and I work in the NHS), or just say 'women's problems'?

How many appointments am I likely to have including scans and nuchal tests before I want to announce?

Where's JJ? Still asleep?

Johnworf - oh you lucky lady!!!

Welcome herbaceous
I'm 44 now, had DS (pfb) 13 months ago when I was 43 after 6 m/c in 3 yrs so totally understand how you will be feeling. Sanity on here is not necessarily guaranteed (lack of sleep doesnt help) but the ladies here are brilliant at putting a smile on your face when the pressure gets to you. I hope this time you get a text book boring,smooth and easy 33 weeks.

mornin all

welcome herbaceous and congratulations. Here's hoping this one sticks for you - I know how difficult it is to relax when you have had a loss in the past. This thread has been a godsend to me during pregnancy.

Very wise jw to make it clear that we are not actual Daily Mail reader types - don't want to go scaring away any new arrivals

yay Darragh's personalised Charlie choo choo blanket arrived this morning - it is absolutely gorgeous - all soft and velvety - he has no interest in it of course but I love it! They would make v good present for a new baby.

oooh jw shoe discount I am sooo jealous

Yee haw...just spoke to DS#1 and he starts his stint at Schuh on Saturday....omg, DD#1 and I are absolutely fit to burst to go in and buy things (with his discount natch). Still to find out how much the discount actually is though so might not be so brill if they're measly.

lilibet think appointments etc depends on your hospital as they all seem to differ slightly. As I remember, I got an official yay from GP at 6 weeks-ish. Had private scan at just over 7. Booked in for 12 weeks with hospital and had a scan done that week although not the same day. I think some hospitals do this all in one go though.

Nuchal tests are done between 11 and 13 + 6 weeks. They can't be done before or after with accuracy.

I chose to tell my kids after my first scan at 7 weeks and obviously my DH knew on the day of the HPT. I started telling family around 10-11 weeks. Wanted to get past 9 weeks which is when I lost the one before.

I think it's individual and I'd say 12 weeks marker or even after the scan is a good time to tell. Obviously don't get yourself into lumber at work with 'fibs'. I think your boss will probably will very accommadating if you swear her to secrecy Obviously, lie to anyone you bump into on the corridor!

I told my OH (obviously)and sister straight away, a few select people after 12 weeks (wanted to get past the riskiest bit and have my scan first|) others after 20 weeks (inc my parents) and some people at work I never told at all - just let it leak out. I figured that if I was going to have another mc then the fewer people who knew the fewer I would have to tell the bad news to. With my previous pg when I miscarried hardly anyone knew which meant I wasn't getting symathetic looks at work and I could carry on as normal - very much what I wanted.

All very negative I know but I was paranoid throughout.