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Original poster

If babies came with an instruction manual...what would it say?

35 replies

girlylala0807 · 30/09/2008 10:32

Ive just been thinking really...

Im 12+1, dnt get my scan till next week (grrrr)and I have been getting lots and lots...and lots of pregnancy advice, yet no one is so keen to tell me what to do when this child is born!!!

Just a curious question...

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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cmotdibbler · 30/09/2008 10:35

Love me, hold me,keep me close, respond to my needs according to my needs, not the clock.

Original poster
girlylala0807 · 30/09/2008 10:37

Awwwwwwwwww,

Thats so nice

xx

OP posts:
stretchmarkqueen · 30/09/2008 10:37

I leak from both ends!!

Weegle · 30/09/2008 10:38

Cuddle me, feed me, change me. Take time to savour me.

VictorianSqualor · 30/09/2008 10:40

This manual is a load of bollocks.

Unfortunately we have no idea what the baby you have created will want or need at any one time as each baby differs.

Please defer to mumsnet.

ExtraFancy · 30/09/2008 10:41

Remember I am small and the world is new and noisy, I need you close to me for comfort and security.

ledodgy · 30/09/2008 10:41

Non-returnable, No guarantee.

nailpolish · 30/09/2008 10:42

dont listen to anyone else including this manual
do what you feel is right INCLUDING CUDDLING ME AND GIVING ME EYE CONTACT

Seeline · 30/09/2008 10:43

It would be a manual printed in Taiwan and translated into English via 3 other languages - it would make no sense at all, the customer helpline would always put you on hold, and there definitely wouldn't be any returns policy. You would do what you do with all your household appliances, guess and hope for the best!

stretchmarkqueen · 30/09/2008 10:43

lol Seeline!

llynnnn · 30/09/2008 10:45

remember to look after yourself as well as me, I need you to be as fit and healthy as poss! and also I REALLY dont care if there are dirty plates in the sink or dust on the shelves!!

3littlefrogs · 30/09/2008 10:46

Everything is a phase. Take one day at a time.

EachPeachPearMum · 30/09/2008 10:46

It would say 'Close this book, and go and be with your baby'!
On the back cover it would say 'This is just a phase' in 48 point bold!

hughjarssss · 30/09/2008 10:47

There would a whole chapter on sleep deprivation and its consequences .. but you will be to tired to read it!

hecate · 30/09/2008 10:47

most vital manual you need to know once you have a child

hughjarssss · 30/09/2008 10:51

Link doesnt work hecate

hecate · 30/09/2008 10:54

doesn't it? It just has for me. Ooer, I've broken something!

hughjarssss · 30/09/2008 10:54

It opens onto a google page which says 'not found'

MerlinsBeard · 30/09/2008 10:56

one line, four words "Love Me For Me"

That covers feeding properly, cuddles, rocking to sleep, putting plasters on when they fall over, helping them learn things(reading, riding a bike...) and also covers the fact that you WILL be up rocking a baby to sleep at 3am,4am,5am several nights in a row because of teething/wind/hunger/illness/no reason what so ever

hecate · 30/09/2008 10:58

odd. I'm clicking on my link and it's going through fine.

I clearly have a special computer!

does that work?

or this one?

MrsBadger · 30/09/2008 11:14

I vote for contents by VictorianSqualor, cover by EachPeach

(reminds me of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy saying 'Don't Panic!' on the cover)

AnarchyAunt · 30/09/2008 11:16

This?

bythepowerofgreyskull · 30/09/2008 11:18

There are no rules - if you think you have found some you are wrong.

theirmum · 30/09/2008 11:19

Wind me
Change me
Feed me
Love me

Dont worry I wont break!

VictorianSqualor · 30/09/2008 11:20

LOL AA

Hecate beer wine & spirits?