Can I hope for a pregnancy at 42+?

[VereeViolet]

I’m looking for some stories, encouragement or maybe a reality check about getting pregnant at age 42 plus. My husband and I were married when I was 35, but for various reasons including Covid, moving countries, moving house, we didn’t start properly trying for children until I was 38.

At the time, I was hopeful as we were both healthy, I had regular cycles and it seemed like it should be possible for us. It didn’t work right away, but I started tracking my cycles and had the usual medical checks. Everything looked normal and after 11 months of nothing at all happening, I got pregnant. It was a textbook pregnancy and I had my beautiful daughter just after I turned 40.

I wanted to try for a second, and I knew my age would probably work against me so we started TTC again when my baby was 9 months old (I was almost 41). It’s been 11 months since then and, again, there has been no hint of a pregnancy whatsoever. I was hopeful that it might work in a reasonable time as I now know what I’m doing. I track LH spikes and EWCM. I know my expected ovulation dates (usually CD12-14). My luteal phase is 12+ days. I take 200mg ubiquinol, Pregnacare Max, and sometimes Vit C, Vit D and NAC. My husband and I are both at healthy weights and don’t have any medical issues.

I know that this not an ideal time to try to have children, but it is the only time I have so I’m trying to make it work. Everything has crept a year or two later than I planned. I’ll be 42 in October and I’m starting to feel like maybe I missed the boat. I always thought I would either struggle to get pregnant and have no children or it would work and I would have two. I didn’t expect to have an only child and it’s breaking my heart a little.

I feel sad that I might have missed my chance for two by just a year or so. My Mum had my sister at 41 and doing it around 40 seemed possible in my mind. The statistics that you read about pregnancy over 40 sound so awful though. I know they are population statistics and don’t necessarily apply to individuals but it’s hard to ignore them when they are everywhere. I’m going to keep trying for the time being, but I’m starting to lose hope. I know I should feel grateful for the baby I have as so many people struggle to even get one.

My next step is to go back the GP for more checks (probably should have done this before). I don’t think we want to go down the IVF route, but might try IUI if that was suggested. Am I crazy to hope for a second at my age? I know it happens for lots of people but are they just the lucky ones?

I haven’t seen actual studies saying they work, I guess. And I assumed it was more if you didn’t have much EWCM - and I don’t have a problem with that (as far as I know). But I could try with it sometimes just to cover all the bases.

in case helpful from a quick online / AI assisted search:

Both Pre-Seed and Conceive Plus are top FDA-cleared, fertility-friendly lubricants designed not to harm sperm. Pre-Seed closely mimics natural cervical mucus and excels in sperm vitality lab tests, while Conceive Plus contains added electrolytes (magnesium and calcium) and matches seminal pH levels. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6]

Key Differences

• Formulation Focus: Pre-Seed was designed by physiologists to match the moisture and properties of fertile cervical fluids. Conceive Plus is formulated to maintain a pH and isotonic environment closer to natural semen parameters with added calcium and magnesium ions to support sperm function. src="https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/lrzz9vI7Dec?start=394" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen> 1, 2, 3, 4, 5]
• Application Style: Pre-Seed typically comes with individual single-use internal applicators bundled in standard boxes. Conceive Plus is sold both in multi-use tubes for general application and in pre-filled disposable applicators. src="https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/uTT2m_YCvbM" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen> 1, 2]
• Feel and Consistency: Pre-Seed tends to feel lighter and more watery once warmed, mimicking natural discharge closely. Conceive Plus has a slightly thicker, slicker consistency that some users find longer-lasting during intercourse. 1, 2]
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So it doesn’t hurt your chances anyway. And I’m sure it does help some people. Worth a try.

Had my first at 44. Spent 2.5 years trying to conceive and then stopped trying. Next month I was pregnant. It is possible but you have to accept the odds are very low.

Sometimes it just doesn’t happen and there’s no explanation. I’m 34 and have been trying for 2 years. One miscarriage and no baby. I’m assuming it won’t happen for me now. I’m still going to pursue ivf but making peace that I may never be a mother as I know statistically fertility reduces after 35. Appreciate it could happen after that age and for many it does but just going off statistics. Good luck

I had my second at nearly 39 and at my follow-up with the obstetrician (currently in the US) I said something casually about being too old for another. She said she sees women over 40 all the time, but that it gets harder to conceive naturally after 42/43.

You got there in the end! I know my odds aren’t great, but it’s not impossible I guess.

I disagree with you. You still have many years to try. Fertility declines gradually from 35 to 45. I really am at the end, but you’re still at the beginning!

I wanted to finish by 41 or be well on my way but I didn’t make it. I’m willing to try for another year at least though.

This could of been me talking and all the emotions but I’m 42 and 30 weeks pregnant at the moment. It can happen ❤️

Wonderful ❤I will try to be optimistic!

It’s possible you are over engineering it slightly - tracking can help but nothing is certain and it maybe you are just missing your window, I would try having sex every other day (and a few more times during your fertile window). It’s a lot I know when you’ve got the baby to look after too but defo worth going all in.

My son’s best friend’s mothers were all in their early 40s when they conceived: 2 were 42 and the other was 43. My NCT group had 2 41 year old mums.

Wishing you luck,I hope it happens for you

Hi OP
How are you getting on?
I am going through a similar experience. We conceived our son pretty easily when I was 38 (in 4 cycles). I was aware of time ticking and wanted to start TTC number 2 very quickly, but I also wanted to breastfeed until 1 and my periods didn’t return until I’d completely stopped. Therefore we didn’t properly start trying until I was 40. Since then we’ve had no luck. There was possibly a chemical around 8 cycles in, but I’m not sure as I didn’t test that month. It’s now been 15 cycles and I’m waiting for my period and then we’ll be starting IVF.
I wish we had started IVF sooner but it’s so hard to weigh all the statistics and chances. I thought I would have a pretty good chance if we tried for a year, as I believe it should be more than 50% for a 40 year old. That sounded better odds than IVF. Our doctor has given us a 20% chance of success with one cycle.
I guess I’m either unlucky or less fertile than other women my age, but it’s really disheartening and so hard to keep being positive or even just to forget about it! I think I’m slowly becoming less anxious about it, however

After 13 years of infertility and 2 miscarriages I had my rainbow baby naturally at 40. We didn’t use contraception following that, because why would we. I am now 30 weeks pregnant at 43.