Can I hope for a pregnancy at 42+?

[VereeViolet]

I’m looking for some stories, encouragement or maybe a reality check about getting pregnant at age 42 plus. My husband and I were married when I was 35, but for various reasons including Covid, moving countries, moving house, we didn’t start properly trying for children until I was 38.

At the time, I was hopeful as we were both healthy, I had regular cycles and it seemed like it should be possible for us. It didn’t work right away, but I started tracking my cycles and had the usual medical checks. Everything looked normal and after 11 months of nothing at all happening, I got pregnant. It was a textbook pregnancy and I had my beautiful daughter just after I turned 40.

I wanted to try for a second, and I knew my age would probably work against me so we started TTC again when my baby was 9 months old (I was almost 41). It’s been 11 months since then and, again, there has been no hint of a pregnancy whatsoever. I was hopeful that it might work in a reasonable time as I now know what I’m doing. I track LH spikes and EWCM. I know my expected ovulation dates (usually CD12-14). My luteal phase is 12+ days. I take 200mg ubiquinol, Pregnacare Max, and sometimes Vit C, Vit D and NAC. My husband and I are both at healthy weights and don’t have any medical issues.

I know that this not an ideal time to try to have children, but it is the only time I have so I’m trying to make it work. Everything has crept a year or two later than I planned. I’ll be 42 in October and I’m starting to feel like maybe I missed the boat. I always thought I would either struggle to get pregnant and have no children or it would work and I would have two. I didn’t expect to have an only child and it’s breaking my heart a little.

I feel sad that I might have missed my chance for two by just a year or so. My Mum had my sister at 41 and doing it around 40 seemed possible in my mind. The statistics that you read about pregnancy over 40 sound so awful though. I know they are population statistics and don’t necessarily apply to individuals but it’s hard to ignore them when they are everywhere. I’m going to keep trying for the time being, but I’m starting to lose hope. I know I should feel grateful for the baby I have as so many people struggle to even get one.

My next step is to go back the GP for more checks (probably should have done this before). I don’t think we want to go down the IVF route, but might try IUI if that was suggested. Am I crazy to hope for a second at my age? I know it happens for lots of people but are they just the lucky ones?

If you are thinking of ivf you need to do it now. I was 42 and was already too late for nhs ivf in wales. It’s not impossible but it is harder. I got pregnant at 43 however miscarried at 10 weeks before having another 6 failures. At 46 I’m at peace that the ship has sailed but can’t say that it doesn’t sting knowing I’ll never be called mum.
my advice is don’t wait a minute. Get the tests done. There are plenty of stories of people having healthy pregnancies later on and I think your history and previous pregnancy would hopefully help. Good luck 🤞

If you want IVF you need to do it now or they will likely say your to old. It's not impossible op but it can be very difficult and the risks are a lot higher.

Not actually considering IVF. I don’t think the NHS would cover it anyway as I already have a child. What I’m really wondering is whether I have a reasonable chance of it happening naturally at 42. I know I have to talk to a doctor, but I just want reassurance I suppose.

Until I read that you had a child over 40 I would say no but you never know.

If it was me I would relax - you have one child and enjoy them. Leaving it to 42 plus isn’t ideal but I would take the foot off here and if it happens it happens. I gave birth at 41 and felt it was my last chance but I already had one and if it happened it happened.

I had DS at 41, I've fallen twice since then once after 6 months, the next after 3, and had missed miscarriages both times, no idea if there's a reason or if it was sheer bad luck, we're giving it another 6 months and then calling it a day. All mine have been natural conception, so no reason why it can't happen. I'm 44 this year.

Are you still breastfeeding?

I’d suggest an appointment with a private fertility specialist for assessment of your chances (including AMH levels and/or ultrasound to look at AFC). Even if you don’t want to pursue IUI/ IVF you would have some idea about your actual changes which may help psychologically? An NHS appt will take too long (and potentially be rejected anyway as you already have a child and in some areas that is an exclusion criteria).

I had an unexpected pregnancy at 45 (unexpected because we had sex once that month, outside of expected fertile period - and having taken 12 cycles to conceive at 39).

The pregnancy didn't work out - but that was not due to my age (baby was healthy and was genetically normal, but sadly there were exceptionally rare complications in placenta due to the fact it started as a twin pregnancy - random bad luck). In terms of my health, my body coped fine with the pregnancy - and no medical professional ever mentioned my age - it was a complete non-issue (and I saw many clinicians due to the complication) .

So although a very sad story for me, I hope it gives you some hope that a healthy baby and pregnancy is definitely possible. I suppose my only word of 'warning' is that what I went through, and what we as a couple went through, as a result of that unexpected pregnancy was the worst time of our lives. I have obviously omitted the details here but it has changed me as a person. While our complication was extremely rare and not related to maternal age, other complications do increase with maternal age and it's important to fully consider that - what it would mean for your lives if you lost a baby in pregnancy, had to TFMR, had a child with a mental or physical disability. I think there's a lot to weigh up, especially if you already have a child. Ultimately we decided not to try for another baby as I couldn't risk more heartache (and we hadn't ever tried for a second prior to the unexpected pregnancy).

I did combination feeding for the first six months after she was born and then moved to 100% formula because I wanted to allow as much time as possible to conceive a second. I got my period two weeks after I stopped and it’s been regular since then.

Yes, I think I need more information really. Everything was fairly easy with the first conception (although it did take nearly a year). But I know 39 is different than 41/42.

I’m sorry you had such a difficult and traumatic time. I am worried about possible complications due to my age, but maybe I’m overconfident because my first pregnancy went so well (and it was only 1.5 years ago).

I am fully aware that complications can increase as the mother gets older, but it’s hard to define a point where it’s too old. In a perfect world, I would have liked to finish by 40, but here I am. I’m a year older, and it hasn’t happened, but what if it can in the next few cycles? I really really want a second child.

I think you have a pretty realistic understanding of your chances of pregnancy. Hearing individual stories of women who have given birth to naturally conceived healthy babies aged 42 and older may be helpful so that you can visualise that happening for you but equally it might make you feel that somehow there is something wrong with you or you are not doing enough, which is absolutely not true.

I had two planned pregnancies. One at 37 and the other at 44. On both occasions I conceived almost straight away with acupuncture support.
Wishing you lots of love and luck. X

If its any help, my gran had both her pregnancies at 44 and 46. And that was in the 1940s. And my other grandmother has her last pregnancy at 43.

I had one at 40, and then 42. It is totally possible and it sounds like you’re doing the right stuff. Obviously it’s impossible but I would just try to forget about it for a while. Stress, I think, held up things the first time for me.

I am starting to question everything now. Is something causing it to not work? I know these things are probabilistic and it can take a while even if nothing is particularly wrong. Even so, I’m starting to slightly panic. I’ve recently given up sugar and I’m trying to eat as healthy as possible (while taking care of a toddler). Maybe it doesn’t make any difference, but I want to feel I’m doing my best.

I had secondary infertility when trying to have a third baby when I was 41-43, after easy conceptions in my 30s. It’s possible the rules will be different in different parts of the uk, but the cut off was 43 for various investigations and help, and the waiting lists were long so it all took ages. I’d see the Gp and see what they recommend, but if you can it could be worth going private for all the tests of your tubes etc to help you understand if there’s any particular issues. Do you still have signs of ovulation each month?

That’s amazing! I know everyone is different though. It took me almost a year to conceive my first in my late 30s.

These are the stories that do make me feel better. It’s hard to know what natural fertility looks like these days when everyone prevents pregnancy at my age.

My friend got pregnant (with triplets!!) naturally at aged 44. She delivered identical twin girls (lost the other baby early in pregnancy) at 45.

I have tried to stay optimistic over the past 11 months, but the stress is starting to bubble up to the surface. I hope to be as successful as you!

I conceived dd1 very easily, at 36 (second month of trying). I wasn't in a position to try again for a few years. By this time I was 42. It was around 9 months of trying. When I chanfed jobs (which reduced my stress), it happened and I had dd2 at 43.

I had all the usual blood tests and an ultrasound done on my uterus and ovaries before I had my first baby because it was taking a while and everything looked normal then (I was 39.5). I know I should get it done again though. As far as I can tell, everything looks the same as it did a few years ago. Honestly, it all seems the same as it was in my 20s. I test for LH spikes and I get those regularly, etc.

Wow! I have fraternal twin aunts so I might be at slight risk of twins myself, which I’m not sure I’m prepared for, but I’ll take what I can get 😅

Amazing! It’s so different for everyone. I hope I’m not too late.