Page 4 | Mil told her daughters i am pregnant

NotMeAtAll · 11/08/2026 18:29

What difference does it make?

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 11/08/2026 18:41

You again.

This happened two years ago, like most of the things you complain about with regard to your unfortunate MIL.

chatgptmeup · 11/08/2026 19:27

My mum did that, has a mentality of "family is different and deserve to be told". I found this out when my mum's cousin sent me a congratulations card. There was no point talking to her about it, she didn't see anything wrong in it so when it came to child #2 I just didn't tell her until 12 weeks, which i'll probably be accused of being mean for, but she didn't respect my wishes or boundaries the first time around. You're not wrong for being annoyed, but there isn't much you can do about it except not include her on future knowledge if there is a future child.

Surgz · 11/08/2026 20:12

Surely you can get over that. You told her, surely unless you made her swear to tell.no one else, she can tell who she likes?.. and turns out shes a lovely grandma!!?

Ariana12 · 11/08/2026 21:35

Am I the only one scratching my head about the 11% who thought OP wasn't unreasonable?

ToKittyornottoKitty · 11/08/2026 21:40

Ariana12 · 11/08/2026 21:35

Am I the only one scratching my head about the 11% who thought OP wasn't unreasonable?

What do you mean? This is the pregnancy board, there is no poll?

MyPlumHelper · 12/08/2026 07:38

ToKittyornottoKitty · 11/08/2026 21:40

What do you mean? This is the pregnancy board, there is no poll?

Show quote history

This is originally started in am I being unreasonable. So the op must have asked it to be moved here because she got her arse handed to her and didn't like that.

She told her mother in law she was pregnant two years ago, and her mother in law told her own daughters. Two years ago and she can't let it drop and she's still angry. Posting it on a pregnancy board won't change the responses.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 12/08/2026 07:50

MyPlumHelper · 12/08/2026 07:38

This is originally started in am I being unreasonable. So the op must have asked it to be moved here because she got her arse handed to her and didn't like that.

She told her mother in law she was pregnant two years ago, and her mother in law told her own daughters. Two years ago and she can't let it drop and she's still angry. Posting it on a pregnancy board won't change the responses.

Show quote history

Weird that some people can see the poll and others can’t!

MyPlumHelper · 12/08/2026 07:51

ToKittyornottoKitty · 12/08/2026 07:50

Weird that some people can see the poll and others can’t!

Show quote history

Maybe the poll was cancelled when it was moved out of am.I being unreasonable I don't know. Maybe that previous poster posted before it was moved. I can't see the poll anymore either and it was definitely there when it was on the other board.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 12/08/2026 07:54

MyPlumHelper · 12/08/2026 07:51

Maybe the poll was cancelled when it was moved out of am.I being unreasonable I don't know. Maybe that previous poster posted before it was moved. I can't see the poll anymore either and it was definitely there when it was on the other board.

Edited

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Oh I figured with you answering you could see it too. It deff wasn’t visible when that poster posted last night. Ah well, must be a glitch

dh280125 · 12/08/2026 10:38

ThisDreamyExpert · 10/08/2026 10:31

I dont have a particularly close relationship with my mil. I dont also feel like I want to do much to get too close. Although she is nice and wonderful to my kids and sees me as her own daughter. I always had a superficial rel to her. Please try to read my previous threads to het a better understanding of me to get full picture.
i fell pregant two years ago and told her, I later dound out feom my SILs that she had told them. It came out and she at first said that in her defence, she had told them I think I might be pregnant, not that it was a certainty. She then later did apologise to me personally while in the kirchen. My husbnad had told her that it was not her place. I am still fuming at times now. My colleague told he mer mil did this and it just brought up old anger and resentment. Please help me to still maintain a decent relationship with her. She is generally lovely.

It was two years ago and you are still bothered even though you say she is mostly lovely? I think you might be the problem.

euff · 12/08/2026 10:42

I don’t get the problem in the first place unless you specifically asked her not to tell them or anyone. Thought it was normal to tell your parents and them to tell their siblings and it get passed on through family like that.

Original poster

ThisDreamyExpert · 17/08/2026 08:28

PurpleDisco · 10/08/2026 10:48

2 years ago? Your MIL is not the problem, you are! You say she’s nice, wonderful to your kids, treats you like a daughter and she’s generally lovely… you sound like a difficult person… a trouble maker basically… you told your MIL you were pregnant knowing she’d tell her daughters just so you could complain to your DH (her son) about her! You had a plan to stir trouble and are still going on about it 2 years later… your MIL was probably excited about a new grandchild and most mothers who are close to their daughters would tell about a new baby on the way. My guess is you’re not from a close family and you don’t have sisters so you’re jealous of their close mother / daughter relationship and they are probably close to their brother too. Try to see the many good things of your MIL like you write in your post and try to be appreciative of her. Just be a nicer person, otherwise they won’t like you or treat you like another daughter.

May be you are right. I am not close to any of my 3 siblings. So it is odd and foreign to me. I grew up in quite a disconnected family.

OP posts:

Mathair2 · 17/08/2026 21:24

My MIL announced my engagement before it had even happened a few years ago and it still bothers me. I think what annoys me most is I didnt pull her up on it at the time and mow its obviously too late. So I get where you are coming from but unfortunately I think you have to let it go and move on from this!

Oooo10000 · 17/08/2026 21:30

I genuinely cannot remember any rules about who told who that I was pregnant 🤷‍♀️

lalalagarden · 17/08/2026 21:32

What is the consequences of her saying this to her daughters exactly? You sound very highly strung to be frank. I was like this too at one point until a counsellor led me gently to seeing how everyone walked around me on eggshells and how unhealthy my actions were. It’s a tough thing to take in board.

Aiming4Optimistic · 17/08/2026 23:32

Jeez, who'd be a mil? Just the fact that she's breathing seems to be enough to make you hate her! I don't think you can blame this entirely on your OCD because you've been told before that this is a 'you' problem and you've done nothing to resolve it. Get help so you can stop fixating on this poor woman, who's been nothing but lovely to you!

So many women claim to love their husbands, but then put him in the awful position of having to watch his wife be a total bitch to his mother.

Blondeshavemorefun · 17/08/2026 23:46

This

Whoops75 · 17/08/2026 23:53

I don’t think it’s healthy or fair to ask families to keep secrets.

Boreded · 17/08/2026 23:54

.

Original poster

ThisDreamyExpert · 18/08/2026 12:21

Okay I see most people here think I am absurd for holding onto or even being bothered intensely by it in the first place.

Second thing, my mil is a matron, quite a strong personality and I dont always like being around her. The last few months we had a Christmas gathering and 2 birthday parties (my two small children). At the christmas party we had arranged who will bring what. I said I will do chicken, she responded to the messages (ot was a group chat) that maybe my husband can then also do lamb since he enjoys roasting and at that stage lamb was missing from the menu. He does it every year. . I got annoyed by her suggestion because I felt she was telling me what to do. She said ‘maybe your husband can do a lamb?).

at both my little ones’ separate birthday parties she baked the cakes. We had a lovely party and was only to cut the cake later on. She came to me to ask if we could cut the cake at some stage. I responded each time with ‘sure’. But felt resentful afterwards because I feel she is controlling or trying to tell me what to do. Have seeked counseling and nothing helps me see her in better light.

OP posts:

MyPlumHelper · 18/08/2026 12:47

ThisDreamyExpert · 18/08/2026 12:21

Okay I see most people here think I am absurd for holding onto or even being bothered intensely by it in the first place.

Second thing, my mil is a matron, quite a strong personality and I dont always like being around her. The last few months we had a Christmas gathering and 2 birthday parties (my two small children). At the christmas party we had arranged who will bring what. I said I will do chicken, she responded to the messages (ot was a group chat) that maybe my husband can then also do lamb since he enjoys roasting and at that stage lamb was missing from the menu. He does it every year. . I got annoyed by her suggestion because I felt she was telling me what to do. She said ‘maybe your husband can do a lamb?).

at both my little ones’ separate birthday parties she baked the cakes. We had a lovely party and was only to cut the cake later on. She came to me to ask if we could cut the cake at some stage. I responded each time with ‘sure’. But felt resentful afterwards because I feel she is controlling or trying to tell me what to do. Have seeked counseling and nothing helps me see her in better light.

None of those examples show any hint of nasty or controlling behaviour.

It's how you interpret it.

I do feel sorry for your MIL and your husband

Ansells · 18/08/2026 13:12

ThisDreamyExpert · 18/08/2026 12:21

Okay I see most people here think I am absurd for holding onto or even being bothered intensely by it in the first place.

Second thing, my mil is a matron, quite a strong personality and I dont always like being around her. The last few months we had a Christmas gathering and 2 birthday parties (my two small children). At the christmas party we had arranged who will bring what. I said I will do chicken, she responded to the messages (ot was a group chat) that maybe my husband can then also do lamb since he enjoys roasting and at that stage lamb was missing from the menu. He does it every year. . I got annoyed by her suggestion because I felt she was telling me what to do. She said ‘maybe your husband can do a lamb?).

at both my little ones’ separate birthday parties she baked the cakes. We had a lovely party and was only to cut the cake later on. She came to me to ask if we could cut the cake at some stage. I responded each time with ‘sure’. But felt resentful afterwards because I feel she is controlling or trying to tell me what to do. Have seeked counseling and nothing helps me see her in better light.

Honestly, none of those examples are anything that bad. She’s coming across as a normal family member.

It sounds like whatever she does, you’re not going to like it.

whippersnapper55 · 18/08/2026 13:16

Sorry OP but both conversations about the lamb and the cake sound completely normal. I don't understand why these annoyed you.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 18/08/2026 13:21

ThisDreamyExpert · 18/08/2026 12:21

Okay I see most people here think I am absurd for holding onto or even being bothered intensely by it in the first place.

Second thing, my mil is a matron, quite a strong personality and I dont always like being around her. The last few months we had a Christmas gathering and 2 birthday parties (my two small children). At the christmas party we had arranged who will bring what. I said I will do chicken, she responded to the messages (ot was a group chat) that maybe my husband can then also do lamb since he enjoys roasting and at that stage lamb was missing from the menu. He does it every year. . I got annoyed by her suggestion because I felt she was telling me what to do. She said ‘maybe your husband can do a lamb?).

at both my little ones’ separate birthday parties she baked the cakes. We had a lovely party and was only to cut the cake later on. She came to me to ask if we could cut the cake at some stage. I responded each time with ‘sure’. But felt resentful afterwards because I feel she is controlling or trying to tell me what to do. Have seeked counseling and nothing helps me see her in better light.

I think from what you’ve said here, that it is you who is controlling. Your MIL is trying her best and you try and see ulterior motives to hold her to account for things you are thinking, that are maybe not aligned with her motivation. Saying maybe you DH could do the lamb, is just a suggestion, not her controlling what people eat. You even said she said MAYBE!

You need to have some counselling around why you have to control the narrative. Poor woman probably walks on eggshells around you.