I have this female friend who we’ll call Lucy. Lucy and I have been friends for 2/3 years, met at work and developed a friendship. I got married earlier this year, prior to me getting married she kept asking if I was “pregnant yet” I told her I was waiting til after the wedding to try but she would continuously ask, I even told her to stop asking and that I would tell her if I was but this didn’t stop her.
After the wedding she would ask me on a regular basis if I was pregnant, I actually was, it happened straight away but I wasn’t telling anyone so I just had to lie to her, which felt uncomfortable.
When it came to telling people after our first scan of course I told Lucy, she was so happy for me and it was a lovely moment, she then proceeded to tell me her period was late. I asked if she had taken a test, she said she did a saliva pregnancy test which looked positive but she wasn’t sure, I told her to pop to the chemist next to where we were to get a urine test and told her which one i thought was clearest (I had taken many tests since getting pregnant), she said she didn’t want to do this, fair enough! Just a backstory to her trying for a baby, she has said for sometime she would like to have a baby one day, she said she isn’t trying but if it happened she’d be happy.
This is where the obsessiveness started, we were out shopping and she wanted to look at baby clothes, she said she’d buy something for my baby, I politely told her no, I said I didn’t want to buy anything yet, one, because I felt like it was bad luck and two, because we’re having work done on the house so I don’t want baby things in there until it’s no longer a building site. Fast forward a week she text me to tell me she’s bought the baby a present!! I really felt like she didn’t listen to me at all, overstepped a clear boundary and on top of that I was a bit sad that she was the first person to buy something for my baby, it should’ve been the babies parents or grandparents surely?
She sends me TikTok’s and memes on a daily basis about babies and pregnancy, she’s not really asking how I’m feeling (despite knowing I’ve suffered with morning sickness and fatigue) and just obsesses over the baby, so it’s not like a friendly check in, everything she says is baby related. She even sent me a video about how painful child birth is and said “this will be you soon 😂😂😂😂” weird?
Don’t get me wrong, I love being pregnant and enjoy talking about it but the daily baby TikTok’s are too much, even I don’t look at that much baby/pregnancy related content.
Since being pregnant she has also started stating that I’m her best friend, in a Facebook post she wrote “from co workers to best friends”, i certainly don’t consider her a best friend, I don’t even think we’re that close, we’ve never even been to the others house.
She wants to meet up ALL THE TIME, I’m not super social so meeting her weekly feels a bit intense, especially while I’m not feeling my best. Prior to pregnancy we certainly did not meet this often, less than once a month and now she wants to see me weekly. Again, it doesn’t feel like a friendly check in, she never asks how I’m feeling or if I need anything, it’s all about baby.
When she texts me she will also frequently double text and if I don’t respond within 24 hours she’ll ask me why I haven’t responded, this is a new habit she’s formed, I’ve always taken a day or two to reply to messages, not ideal but why is it now an issue?
More recently my husband and I went for dinner with Lucy and her partner, whilst talking pregnancy her partner said “Lucy is now 25 days” (it sounded like it was confirmed, and he seemed sure she was pregnant). I was so happy for them and said “so did you take a test, are you officially pregnant?” She said she still hadn’t taken a urine test and instead was waiting to get a blood test from the doctors, each to their own but something feels off.
Perhaps all of this sounds innocent and I’m being silly, I’m just finding it a bit exhausting and maybe watching maternal instinct on Netflix hasn’t helped.
Am I being too sensitive? Is it innocent, is she perhaps living through me because she’s struggling to get pregnant? Or is her newly found obsession with me something I should worry about?