Should I ask for early induction so my gran can meet baby?

[BluntLemonDreamer]

Needing some advice/perspective.

My gran, who is in her late 90s is dying. She is staying at home as per her wishes and our family are caring for her, like we did with our Pop. She isn't going to die like tomorrow, but she is very quickly deteriorating.
I am currently 36 weeks pregnant, I visit her every week and she is so very excited to meet this baby, which is our 3rd. She has many grandchildren/great grandchildren and has just met her 2nd great great grandchild this month. These 2 babies have been spurring her along our whole pregnancies.

So here's where I need some advice or a head check. I have a consultant appointment this week and was going to ask what were the chances of me being induced in the next 2 weeks, in the hope that she gets to meet our baby. My husband will support me on this, but isn't sure its the best idea, and nor do I, but I just get so upset at the thought of her passing without meeting this baby. DS1 was an EMCS, DS2 (20 months later) was a non medicated VBAC (with a later epidural for manual placenta removal) and I am very much hoping for a VBAC for this one too. (11 years between DS2 and this baby, but not sure that matters). I know that any induction (not a full induction due to previous section) runs the risk of a VBAC being unsuccessful as does if baby isn't really ready then there is more risk of interventions but I'm seriously considering trying it anyway, just for my gran to meet this baby...that's if the consultant agrees that is.

So am I being stupid to consider this? Gently help a stressed and hormonal mama out please 😩

Thanks if you got this far.

I was induced with my second at 38weeks. They offered 39 because I wasn’t allowed to go full term but I asked for 38 and they agreed. It was a hard pregnancy and I was on my knees with exhaustion and anxiety. They agreed pretty easily though tbf. But he does get a lot of colds, has eczema, had a hernia op at 5 weeks old, allergic reaction to some foods. No idea if any of it relates to being born early but it is a complete contrast to my first who was born 10 days late.

No, do not put your baby at risk or create any extra risks about birth. I’m sorry for your gran, and how hard the whole situation is but to essentially yank your baby out before they are ready is just so not appropriate, not unless there is a medical reason that the baby needs to come out.

There are too many ifs here. The induction can take days when labour hasn't started naturally- it can be a much harder ride for everybody including you. What if your grandmother becomes end of life and you are desperately rushing to try and meet her, where would be your peaceful state of mind, your rest and recovery.

It wouldn't be good for you or the baby really. I think everything will feel much better when you decide that what will be will be. I believe our loved ones can see them from heaven after they have gone too.

Induction comes with risks and your baby may not be ready until 41weeks - your situation is sad but it will really make no difference later to your gran to have met your baby. She would surely want what’s best for you and the baby.

Hi op I think the fact your nan has other grandchildren I wouldn’t I could understand if it was her first but it’s not and you really should think of the baby’s health. You should not bring the baby early if it’s meant to be it will happen. It will upset you but having a sick baby will hurt you more.

Absolutely not

Definitely not a good idea. Let nature take it's course. I lost my own gran less than a year ago and I still feel like she's watching over me during my pregnancy now, even if you lose her before the baby comes you can still include her.

I'd also be concerned that a long drawn out induction possibly resulting in a c-section and you and baby needing to stay in hospital would keep you from visiting your gran for longer than if you went into labour naturally and got home shortly after. Make every visit to her count as though it's the last and what will be will be.

Absolutely not, I'm sorry. Induced labour is not something to choose. It won't actually matter to either your grandma or the baby if they don't meet - I don't mean to sound callous but it's not worth risking your or your baby's health and wellbeing.

Do what is best for the baby. Gran will be there is spirit when he or she is ready to come into the world.

My 36 weeker was behind for 14 months and is still a fairly sickly child. Honestly don’t do it.
My father in law died 3 weeks after a cancer diagnosis when the baby was 28 weeks. We had an extra private scan to get good pictures of the baby’s face and printed them on good photo paper when we knew it was terminal.

Thank you all for your gentle replies. My head agrees with everyone, I think I just needed someone else to say it and need my heart to catch up with my head. My baby is currently 36+1w plotting at 8lb with an estimation of being 9.5/10lb at 40w but realistically I know that could possibly be incorrect. I've been having 4 weekly growth scans since 28w and I think my last one will be this week. I can't seen them doing anymore between 37 and 40weeks. That being said, I'm (usually) a firm believer in baby will come when ready and due to having a previous section I didn't want any interventions that could jeopardise a natural birth so I think I have to continue with that mindset and I know my Gran wouldn't want me to put either myself or our baby at risk in any way. If anything happened I'd never forgive myself.

Thanks again all.

Glad you have xonw to this conclusion. Much better for all.

Sorry to hear this but your baby comes first period: let them come however they come.