Husband may faint during birth

[Chocrabbit]

Had first midwife appointment yesterday, husband had to leave the room as he felt faint at the talk of injections. Didn’t make it back to the waiting room before he passed out. Midwife suggested I find an alternative birthing partner. I feel sad as only wanted Hubbie in the room. Only 7 weeks pregnant so got ages, Hubbie wants to get therapy to help. Any similar experiences / do I need another birthing partner?

This. The utter ignorance here.

He could desensitize himself by going to all your appointments and watching birth videos.

it wasn’t pregnancy related, but my boyfriend once fainted on me in a&e while I was getting stitches. They left him sprawled across my bed. I got to lean against a wall while they stitched up my leg.

Honestly, I feel some sympathy for him because I often get woozy when I have a blood test and I have no needle fears and am not especially squeamish, I just have a BP on the lower side and would often faint in the heat or standing for ages (assemblies etc). It's nothing I can "man up" about.

Therapy won't necessarily help, but it's sensible to be prepared and have someone else with you as well so you have support if he's out for the count.

My son fainted at the birth of his first son - and he's a doctor!!

Yeah my DH fainted when I had to have emergency shots in back for c-section. Might be built for war but not childbirth!!

Find a good hypnotherapist. They stopped my terrible fear of flying and stopped DH smoking after 20 years!

I agree that he looks into therapy for this and he might also want to look at vasovagel syncope which is what causes the fainting in a blood or needle phobia. There are positions and techniques that he can use to help reduce the sensation and likelihood of fainting. I get it from coughing and erm having a poo. Feeling that cold sweat is a sign I need to take action to ensure I don't crash to the floor.

https://www.torbayandsouthdevon.nhs.uk/uploads/23680.pdf?last-updated=20230324#:~:text=Vasovagal%20syncope%20(pronounced%20sin%2Dco,blood%20pressure%20drops%20(hypotension).

My DH faints with needles but was fine at the birth. He did go to get a coffee while they did the epidural though! I was very glad I couldn't see that needle

I have this phobia and have fainted many times. It was hard to give birth twice with this phobia, and it affected the decisions I made at the time. I had no epidural, nothing except gas and air and birthed the afterbirth naturally, all to avoid them. I am not as needle-phobic now in life, but I wouldn't condemn anyone who was; this runs in my entire family for generations and is not just a question of being weedy. There are potential therapies that might work, I didn't find exposure therapy that great, and would probably go for some type of hypnosis. I'd also have an alternative birth partner, but he may be ok.

The less fuss you make the better, so what if he faints during the birth, has a sit down and then comes back in, it's not the end of the world, I've had a lot of injections and often faint but still go for them. Just keep going and don't let him take the children for their jabs otherwise he'll pass on his phobia.

Im a grown adult woman and im not a shamed to say i fainted at my sister giving birth.
It was that moment that fate decided i was not having kids.
I also faint if i cut myself.

Its not just men that pass out at the sight of a baby coming out of someone.

What ignorance from some posters here. Your husband clearly can’t control his phobia/reactions, to the point he’s suggesting therapy. He wants to be there to support you. I think it was pretty rude of the MW to suggest another birthing partner actually.

My DH has trouble with blood and needles, as did his father before him. Both good, decent, strong men with a vulnerability they didn’t choose. DH was okay at all my births and didn’t linger over needles and bodily fluids but stayed up with me talking and coaching me through. It was fine. I’d say, pursue the therapy if he wants to.

Mine actually did faint at the birth. It was a homebirth, no needles.

We agreed that my mother would be my support person at the next birth. No hard feelings between us about it, it is what it is. Telling him to harden up would have accomplished exactly nothing.

My husband nearly fainted at my dating scan. He has been asked never to give blood again because he passes out every time.

He was brilliant during labour. He was with me throughout, advocated for me, and made sure he stayed away from the business end of things.

My husband fainted during the birth of our dd.

He isn’t the least bit squeamish. If anything he’s the opposite and normally totally Cool under pressure. But seeing me in pain did something to him and he passed out.

It was very brief, and when he came back around he was a wonderful support. It was a difficult birth and I don’t think I’d have got through it without him there, even with the fainting episode.

Therapy may be worth considering to help, but even if I knew what I knew now, I wouldn’t have given birth without him.

There's also the baby to consider. Hopefully won't happen to you, but my DH had to look after DS for 6 hours alone whilst I was in emergency surgery, including the Vitamin K injection. I wouldn't have been bothered by a potential fainter in the delivery room, but I would have been very upset if DH had fainted post-birth and left our baby without a skin-to-skin family member.

For DD's calm C-section, there was also a time where he went with her whilst I was being sewn up, so also medical instruments everywhere and I needed him to be present for the baby.

Look, you have time here. I'd say try the therapy and see if your hospital allows two birthing partners, if you have a second person in mind. Then see how you both feel closer to the time.

I don't have any phobia but that's so interesting.

I love learning the possible evolutionary reasons for things, I kind of love that someone with a needle phobia may be 'playing dead' (though not consciously) to avoid a needle!

Thanks for posting!

What a load of crap!

My sister, a very successful person with her own business and amazing lifestyle who juggles a multitude of different things but will collapse if you even mention anything medical. She will faint if you even mention a hard trip to the dentist. She isn’t useless she simply has a phobia like OPs husband.

People are so judgemental about stuff they don’t struggle with or understand. My son has this issue, it’s impacted school (biology lessons, even some literature) health care and leisure (films, theatre). It’s so bad he has a risk assessment and it’s on his medical notes. It doesn’t make him any less of a man, as some poster seem to be implying.

I can be very squeamish about minor things and can't watch anything nasty on TV, but in a real crisis where I need to step up and deal with it, I just get on with it.

I think on the day he'll probably be OK.

Some nasty and stupid stereotypes about how men are ‘supposed’ to be on this thread. Christ.

I (female) sometimes get vasovagal syncope when other people are hurt - eg nearly fainted when DS cracked his collarbone and had to lie down on the floor of the triage room at hospital (DS was fine). I think I’ve inherited it from my dad, who was in the literal Marines. He’s passed out at loads of things, including once when my mother stubbed her toe. But rest assured, he’s a big old manly male man in lots of other ways and knows how to change a tyre 🙄

Older DS now has it too - passed out after his first Covid jab and when his girlfriend sliced her finger open. There’s bugger all you can do about it, although I now know to lie down and put my legs up against the wall when I feel it coming on. It’s got sod all to do with being cowardly or weak, it’s a fucking physiological response over which we have no conscious control.

No useful advice OP, sorry! Maybe a doula/mum/sister/friend as back-up, as others have suggested.

I am the same. I had it multiple times during my own births! Absolutely dreadful.

It's not something you can control - it's not his fault.

Lots of good recommendations for therapy here, and well done for taking that step so early.

For yourself, what about a doula? This would be someone who you would be able to work with in advance and who you may be more comfortable with than a family member or friend. It may also take the pressure off your husband so that if he doesn't manage well on the day, you are still supported with someone who is there just for you.

Look at therapy but also look at others you could ask. You have ages, I wouldn't even be thinking about the birth at this stage anyway, a long way to go yet.

It's a reflex called vasovagal syncope
It is out of anyone's control, you might as well tell someone off for not being about to stop a cough
What a horrible person you are.

It's also worth saying that many people faint or feel weak at the sight of blood or needles, but unless you have a very quick birth, there's time for them to feel wobbly and get over it and still help! Birth, especially a first birth, is a long game and you need support over hours, even days for my first one. Having your husband there for that, but possibly avoiding the bits with needles, does not mean he can't attend the birth or can't be a great source of support.