Fabulous 40+ and Proud: Mum and Mums to be Part 2

[Kaz1967]

Ok we have talked to the end of the topic so here is a new one

Ah I see mrsboogie. With you on that one (almost). Was 17 years tween my last and Katherine so almost felt like 1st timer again!

ROP implications are possible vision impairment. They can give her laser eye treatment when she's a bit older to get rid of the bits that are scarred. Currently her scarring is not too bad with 12 o'clock to 2 o'clock on a clock face affected. However, if it gets worse (and it can be graded to a grade 5 at worse...Katherine is grade 1), then you can be looking at blindness or a detached retina in severe cases. Hopefully Katherine's won't get too bad.

Can't believe how bad this weather is and BBC weatherman says this week isn't going to get that much better I had a zoo visit planned for Peter but can't think that walking around wet through for a few hours will be fun.

Morning all. JW hope Katherine's eye stays at stage 1 and doesn't get any worse. Haven't been around for a few day, just been so tired and trying to get our back room ready for the plaster to do the ceiling. But he has not turned up argggggg so it will have to be the end of Aug when we get back from hols, Rant Rant why to people say they will do things on a certain day and then change the plan!!!!!

Anyway the reason it is raining is that we are off for a couple of weeks to Norfolk and so we can't possibly have any good weather for that.

Mrs B hope you last week at work goes OK, I have a couple of weeks when I get back and then I finish too hurrahh

oh jw - I hope that K is not too badly affected.

Thanks mrsboogie.

hedgepig wondered where you'd been hiding Oh you can't help but love Norfolk even when it's wet as it's so beautiful. Find yourself a hide and hmm, err, hide !

Don't get me started on tradesmen. Either they say they'll come and don't or they just don't bother ringing you back at all. Obviously, none of them need the trade and are rolling in it .

Katherine seems a little more settled today and her swollen eyes have gone down a tad.

ahhh poor little pootle was it the test that made her eyes swell up? or were they swollen because of the ROP? Mt dad was a plumber and he always turned up when he said he would, so why other people can't I don't now.

Just been to the swimming pool to try an wear Ben out a bit where do these boys get their energy from? I had a nice float which was great to take the weight off my weary old bones .
I must go an pack or we will never get there. MrsB I want no surprises when I get back at the end of August, last time I went to Norfolk it was when young Princess Katherine arrived.

Ah - poor Princess K johnworf I do hope the ROP settles and stays where it is. good to see she's rallied round today.

mrsboogie i've a hunch that you're gonna be just fine...probably push the wee one out in an hour and be having tea and cake after Mind you they say second labours/births are generally easier....even 17 years apart

hedgepig I'm seething with LOVE North Norfolk...should you pass Wells next the Sea give it a wave. That's where I found out I was preggie with Verity - and it was our first ever holiday together....ahhh...sigh! And while it rained throughout the UK - we enjoyed full-on sun shine and glorious skies - in the 1st week in October! Now go pack - and don't worry about postacards - just sticks of rock will do

Oh I hate tradesman rants....poor DP is one I suppose. He's fab though - so fastidious. He hates the reputation of his trade. Shame we're not closer I'd send him round JW - he's a fine plasterer - and you'd get mates rates

Which brings to mind my rant of the day...Milkmen. We cancelled our milkman cos he was always late. So another came round touting for business and they do organic milk. They assured us it'd be here by 7am. What time did our first ever delivery arrive today...eh? eh? 8am? NO / 9am? NO / 10am? NO....bloody 10.30am....GGgggrrrr ...what's the point eh?!!

mrsboogie Think you might find things have changed in 20 years delivery is far more patient centred far less legs up in distressed beetle position far more move and do what feels right for you. That is certainly what I found, My birth plan made a lot of difference too because I had a midwife who read it. I wrote it using the Blooming Birth book and then did it sort of on line here before tweaking it finally it looked something like this I let my community midwife read it first and she said it was good because it said why I needed things a certain way and also because I put what to do if things went wrong.

Things did not go as planned it was a lot quicker and more intense than I anticipated. My doula did not get there it was so quick and early. But I had a healthy baby, no stitches no interventions and NO doctors

Thanks jeanjeannie. Should I need a plasterer in future, I'll give your DH a ring. However, I think it was actually hedgepig that was having her ceiling plastered - or not plastered as the case may be

I did away with our milkman yonks ago. Only time he was early was on Friday (pay day). Organic is cheaper from the supermarket anyways.

Oh btw jeanjeannie my Bumgenius V3's turned up. I think I should wash them a couple of times before use (? yes??). I like the look of them though and seem easy peasy to use. Do I wash the boosters and liners a couple of times as well? Please advise

I'm so jealous Wells is beautiful and now I have memories of it I would [almost] like a holiday.....we're thinking of going to Centreparcs next year. Only got to the thinking part yet as last holiday is still endelibly etched upon my brain

Oh and yes it was the ROP exam that made them swell up. I believe they use some medieval crank device to keep her eyes open whilst they do the exam.

She's ok today but have to do it all over again in 2 weeks time. Can't wait.

bye all I'm off see you in 2 weeks (no internet for 2 weeks can I cope ekkkkk ). Take care love Hedge

johnworf you never want to see them checking her eyes it is horrid I could never watch but I have a thing about eyes and things being done to them It's quick though and not half as bad as if they get to grade 4 and they have to treat them with lazers

jw - that sounds awful. I have an eye thing too and would find that difficult. poor baby

hedgepig - have a great time - hope you get great weather. Promise - no suprise announcements in your absence!!

kaz - thanks very much for sharing the birthplan. I hadn't seen one before. You can tell its written by someone who really knows what they are talking about It's funny - my fears are more vague and non-specific than yours (and probably therefore harder to address), I'm not bothered about being stuck on my back for example (I remember being asked whether I wanted a bath last time and thinking no way - I'll get stuck in it) or a walk around and i was going noooo!, I remember having a lot of ante natal internal exams last time too - never knew what they were for, just quietly submitted to them - and let the students have a poke around too. I'm not fussed on painkilling methods - so long as they work! I did have an epidural last time too and found it affected my breathing afterwards - felt like my lungs had been numbed - also didn't feel the pushing urge which probably didn't help. But I'll keep an open mind on it I think.

What I am really scared of is arriving in admissions not knowing what is ahead of me, how long its going to last and whether anything is going to go wrong. While I think birth plans are a useful and worthwhile attempt to plan and control the controllable elements of the process I doubt it would take away the underlying non-specific fear which is my problem. Does that make sense?.

Kaz - Your birth partners sounded very capable - did they actually make it in time? mine will be my poor OH who I envisage as the proverbial rabbit in the headlights throughout. I would much prefer to have a woman in there with me especially at the end. The only prospect is my sister however she is currently in the throes of a new love affair and won't go anywhere without her new bf. I dread to think....

My best mate Sue was there I was staying in her house had I been still in Bristol though I would not have had quite the same support Julie is lovely but not sure she really understood what I wanted and why.

I had been in delivery suite several times before hand, fibroid pain 25 weeks, once with no movement, once (where I actually delivered) with preterm contractions, and once with a ridged tummy. I think going before I was in labour really helped I knew where I was going the basic layout and that I trusted the staff. It may be worth having a chat to your community midwife and seeing if before 35 weeks you could have a look around see what they have there and generally talk about how you feel. Some units do do tours if you feel it would help it is certainly worth asking.

No one can tell you how long BUT if you are relatively confident and feel you have some control chances are it will be a shorter time than if you are scared, being in control also helps your ability to cope with pain.

I am not good with sudden changes and the unexpected as you might have gathered from the birth plan. For me the only way to deal with this was to learn what could go wrong and the ways of dealing with this, that way although I could not change what might happen I felt I would still have some control and understanding over what was going on. It may be worth having a long chat with your midwife about this side of things, they did cover this in the second of our antenatal sessions but only briefly and I already had a fair idea about complications because of where I used to work.

My way of coping is always find out as much info as poss, I know this is not helpful for everyone and it can scare some women even more but if that sort f thing works for you then ask your midwife when you next see her

Ah - yes, Johnworf t'was indeed hedgepig wot needed the plasterer...hahah - still do yer mates rates though !!

Do wash the bumgenius & boosters & liners - couple of times - quick wash and they'll be good to go. Don't forget - no softner and once she's pooing in them - use some cheap white wine vinegar, just pop it where you'd put the softner. Actually, white wine vinegar (just a cap-full) is fab for towels. Oh gawd, I'll be posting in the 'domestic' section here...or whatever it's called...

Sorry mrsboogie I'm no blinkin help at all re: birthing. I've had 2 c-sections....although with Iris I was strangely excited by the whole birth thing.... Odd - I know - but I'd never had a previous experience and as it turned out my birth plan went out the window but it was nice to have it - gave me a focus.

Gosh - I'm still up! DP is watching the program about shocking builders - he's getting depressed - can't believe that such charlatans are around making money.

thanks Kaz - my midwife is sooo disinterested and off hand - I find it difficult to ask her anything to be honest. Also I have asked about a tour of the unit but they only do virtual tours due to resources.

Best not to think about it all until the day comes methinks and then just grit my teeth and get on with it

ooh and only 2 days left 'til mat leave.
Having tomorrow off. And I am not cycling for the rest of the week. Nearly got ran over by a chuffing white van man this evening on the way home, two ends of a feckin' eejit he was, - accelerating out of a side street. I heard him coming so slowed down otherwise it could have been nasty...

mrsboogie....a virtual tour...how bizzare I wonder if they do virtual births as well....

Two more days....yee ha...and tomorrow off...most excellent!

mrsboogie may be a case of reading as much as you can for yourself certainly recommend the Blooming Birth book if you want to borrow it (bought it for SiL she gave it back and may want it if they go for it again) email me at cyclebabe_uk at hotmail dot com you are welcome I will post it to you.

Hugo was born on Thursday by planned CS. All went swimmingly. He weighed 8 lb 11 oz and is beautiful. I have absolutely no regrets about skipping the VBAC experience! We got home on Sunday morning and I've been enjoying loafing about doing lots of baby cuddling, and getting cups of tea and chocolates on demand.

Hey Fortified. Great to hear you're both back home and doing splendidly Love the name Hugo btw. Make sure your DH and all rallying family wait on you hand and foot. You're worth it!

Missed hedgepig to say bon voyage So jealous she's off to Norfolk and I'm not. (looks for sobbing emoticon).

Never heard anything so daft as a virtual tour. What kind of experience is THAT? Surely it only takes 15 minutes on a quiet Sunday (?heh) afternoon to whizz you round and show you; the rack, the iron maidon, thumbscrews et al.

jeanjeannie thank you for letting me know about the absence of softener (I wouldn't have known that). And also advocating white wine vinegar. Dare I ask what this does? Neutralise pongs and nasty niffs perchance? Oh, and I'm using Fairy non bio. Is this good enough for a baby's botty or should I be looking at something else????

Katherine had a better day y'day but quietly kept herself to herself. The big crying Chinese baby has now moved next door to the nursery with the only other pre termer who is in there too. So, just me and K left to our own devices and enjoying the silence. Jack, the pre termer next door, now has to listen to the crying Chinese baby all day long But we don't

Weight gain was good today. Up from Sunday's weight of 4lb 5oz to today's weigh in of 4lb 13oz. Not bad. Those bags of chips and mars bar chasers I've been smuggling in worked wonders. We're actually out of tiny baby clothes now

Bit pissed off today re my breast milk. I'm down to the last 20 odd or so bottles of frozen EBM. The night staff on Monday fed Katherine formula all night instead of alternate feeds and so, 5 bottles of my milk were condemned y'day as out of date. GRRRRR. I told the nurse on in the day shift and she's promised to have stern words with night nurses (she's a sister so mebbe she can pull rank. Who knows.) Such a bloody waste though

kaz1967 the nurse was talking to me y'day re the ROP in another 2 weeks time and suggested I hung around to talk to the Opthamologist as I have a lot of questions I wish to ask him. However, the nurse who was with Katherine on the day of the exam did tell me it was horrid what they do (1st time she'd seen it done) and didn't recommend I watch it. So there we have it

Oh forgot. Y'day's pic is with my other pics

oh jw - she's a great big lump now ! love the one with her arm under the side of her head. very sweet. She looks like she's thriving.

Shame they bloody mucked about with the milk! Why would they not check for any EBM available? tsk.

jw - do yo really need to put yourself through that? (watching the eye procedure?) if the nurse thinks its horrible then you will probably get upset - won't help baby K will it? can you not hang around and ask questions without watching?

Fortified! congratulations! Excellent name - welcome to baby Hugo - must say you sound very chilled out ;-) how long were you kept in?

Kaz - that's a very kind offer (the loan of the book) will email u my address later. I will have nothing but time to read from next and am a very fast reader so will whizz through it and send it back to you in a few days...

mrsboogie no is the answer to your question. I'm not going to watch but I'll hover in the background for Q&A's when he's done. I know that she'll forget the ordeal but it'll live with me forever more.

Re the milk thingy, words have been had with certain staff members to ensure that her milk regime is being kept up.

Yep she seems to be growing all of a sudden The pic with her arm under her head, she's sucking her fist with the left arm. She's like a chick in a nest; eyes open means feed time (obviously) and then mouth opens to suck anything nearby....fist, sheet, tube. I wouldn't have it any other way though

Think we've solved the riddle of the big chinese crying baby. She seems to settle when her mum/dad are about but they chat to her in chinese. Obviously the structure of the english language and they intonations are not the same so english people just won't do! Still glad we're in a different room to her...OH! what a racket

aww the poor thing - they should record their voices so it can be played when they aren't there to calm her!

dead right re the eye thing. would serve no purpose to see it except traumatise yourself.

fortified HOW FAB!! WElcome Hugo.....whah....love, love love the name...it was in my names 'wish list'....so pleased someone has used it I'm thrilled it went well - especially after me waxing lyrical about my experience! Keep us posted on young Master Hugo's life and times...poos, feeding, sleeping - that sort of thing (we especially like a good poo story) ! You keep getting the tea and biccies on demand.....well done you

johnworf Katherine looks so well...a veritable chubster too Ugh - I personally wouldn't watch anything to do with eyes - I can't bear having an eye test for my contact lenses - no, you don't need to see it especially as it will mean nothing to Katherine when she's older.

Yes, yes..Fairy non-bio is great and the vinegar cleanses whereas softeners clog up the fibres thus rendering the fabric less able to do its job properly.

Oh the poor, large, Chinese baby - perhaps it's something to do with the Olmpics...?

Well, MIL has Iris today so went shopping for DPs birthday pressie - had no inspiration at all Went to House of Fraser for a tea and scone....took Verity out of her pram cuddled her and ...splat (farting sound too)....and bright yellow poo ran all down her leg on a white babygro Cue disgusted looks from elderly couple who were across the table from me. Am now trying to make DP a card from 'the girls' out of a Cbeebies magazine...am sticking Iris's head onto Lola's (from Charlie & Lola)body ...I hope he appreciates it all!

Crappy weather btw.....gale force winds...things keep flying past the window.....plastic bags, paper, leaves, dustbins...cats