IVF Pregnancy Club- Part Two

[pastelheart]

Hey girls!

thread number two for us, thank you again for all being so lovely and supportive. I still can’t believe, after all those years and all the upset… are babies are on their way ♥️

IVF pregnancy club Due Dates/Birth Dates

AmberRose- 3rd July (baby girl) 🩷
Sara237- 24th June (could be a week earlier)
Zirafica- 21st August, c-section could be 14th August
Magpie234- 1st May, could be 24th April (baby girl) 🩷
Nosejug- 27th June, may be earlier though
Fancygoose- 28th March- c-section could be 24th March
SarahAndQuack- 19th June
MintOwl- 14th May, (baby girl) 🩷
CloudyIvy55- 15th May
SamVan- 7th April (baby boy) 🩵
Pastelheart- 4th June (baby boy) 🩵

Dubkitten- baby girl born 8th January 2026 🩷

Oh @FancyGoose your message put tears in my eyes! Just had my psych appointment and I was talking about how I’m finally able to enjoy being preggo again without such a heavy weight. Cried in the shower imagining them placing the baby on my chest, your description of the section helped a lot, I’m gonna save it and read it over and over.

Enjoy your baby boy! Enjoy being a new mother! Just wonderful stuff xx

@FancyGoose So lovely to read your update. Thanks also for the c-section reassurance as anxiety is building for mine now. Really appreciate that and so glad it went smoothly for you.

@CloudyIvy55 How annoying… seems ridiculous to put such a rigid boundary in place with the 37 weeks thing. Hopefully you can get it checked out soon and it is just a bit of classic joyful incontinence from pelvic floor pressure.

@Nosejug Relieved for you that you have made it this far… that moment is going to be SO special. Buzzing for you.

Good morning! So excited to let you all know that our perfect baby boy was born yesterday morning at 37+2.

It was a pretty dramatic, emergency c section in the end but @FancyGoose I thought f your description of your c section to help me through the initial anxiety!!

It wasnt an easy delivery as he was stuck, took a while to get him out and he needed help to get breathing after he was born - but hes doing perfectly right now. My true miracle baby x

@CloudyIvy55 congratulations! What lovely news and I am glad you are both doing well

sorry everyone I have been so quiet, I am really struggling atm. Feel very very stressed from work so I’m hoping when I start my leave on 8th I will feel a bit better xx

@CloudyIvy55 Huge congratulations! Sorry it was a bit of an ordeal but fantastic news that you are all doing well now. So happy for you.

@pastelheart That sounds like a lot you poor thing. Not long to go now. It will be such a relief to stop work and finally be able to focus on you and baby.

I have my pre-op assessment at the hospital this afternoon before the big day on Wednesday. It feels surreal to have got this far and be so close to meeting our little girl. I feel every feeling! Unfortunately my pelvic pain at this point (39+3) is the worst physical pain I have ever experienced so tbh the dominant one is now please get her out and make this end. But so nearly there now…

@CloudyIvy55 congratulations! I'm so glad he is here and doing well. I hope you're now being really well looked after. It sounds as if you had such a rough time. You are a warrior!

@pastelheart sorry to hear you've been feeling bad. It's a huge amount of emotions swirling around, isn't it?! I keep wondering why I feel so grim and then realising there's a ton of other third-trimester people feeling the same. Add in work stress and it's so hard! Hope the 8th comes round quickly for you.

@magpie234 OMG, so close! Everything is crossed for Wednesday!

@magpie234 @SarahAndQuack honestly, I have been stepping up for the past 8 months, all been fine but I just don’t think they are understanding that I have 7 days left on work as more and more work keeps coming my way even though I am trying to hand stuff over but they aren’t listening! So it’s really stressing me out as I don’t want to leave anyone worried about when I’m not here but they aren’t doing anything to help themselves. But in 7 days (I have a couple of days annual leave too) it won’t be my problem lol 😂 how are you both? X

That sounds horribly stressful - and it would make me really angry TBH. How dare they?! It's not appropriate at all.

I'm all highs and lows at the moment. I am all excited I've got this far, and I'm lucky in that physically it has been easy and I'm finding I can still work and I am enjoying it (which is a huge relief). This spring was a real test of whether I could build a freelance business, because gardening gets busiest at this time of year. And it looks as if I'd be ok, so long as going off on maternity doesn't then completely tank things!

OTOH, it's stupid, but I get all hormonal and sad. I definitely think I'm better off on my own and don't have 'regrets' as such, but every now and again I wish there were someone there to tell me to sit down and make me a cup of tea!

Edited: cannot believe I'll be 33 weeks on Friday; in my head there's a lot more than 7 (max) weeks left to get everything sorted!

@SarahAndQuack I know! And I’m trying to write my handover and I have to keep adding more and more to it as there is more and more work. I’m so glad I brought my leave forward by a couple of weeks!

I am glad physically it’s been easy! When do you think you will stop work? And how long will you take?

come round my house and we can have a tea together 🩷 yay for 33 weeks! I am 35 on Thursday, it’s crazy isn’t it! Xx

@CloudyIvy55 huge congratulations 💙

@magpie234good luck today 🤞🏻

@pastelheart that sounds awful. Can you talk to them or finish up earlier?

Oh my goodness @CloudyIvy55 how wonderful! I’m so glad to have the end of the story knowing how scary that must have been. But here he is! Your son is born!! 💫 enjoy enjoy enjoy :D

@magpie234 best of luck tomorrow ♥️ what time have they given you? I can’t imagine the feeling. I remember how solemn and in awe I felt doing my first trigger shot (and even the four after), I can’t quite imagine how it’d feel the night before a birth!! Hope you get a restful night and hope very much the pregnancy pains immediately alleviate!

Oh @pastelheart thats so shot about your work… you’re right though, now your problem once mat leave starts. I wish you could start even earlier! I remember you saying they were unamused with you moving it forwards so it won’t be much help to suggest discussing with them that they need to step up! Just make sure your phone and emails are very much filtering out any work related rubbish once you’re free.

@SarahAndQuack eek I know what you
mean about self employment and wanting to keep the fire stoked while not working. Great though that you’re still able to work now!! You’re going to hit the ground running in fitness when your babe comes :) I think though you should have a wee sit down, and I wish I could make you a cup of tea ♥️

Oh, and now I'm wishing @pastelheart and @Nosejug and all of us could meet up for a cup of tea and a good chat! Wouldn't that be lovely?! It's a pity we're all over the place. We could all coo over the tiny (and not so tiny any more!) babies, too. I'm realising, @dubkitten, you must be almost out of the newborn stage, is that right?!

@pastelheart yay for 35 weeks! Almost term, wow.

I'm hoping to carry on for a while yet, but I honestly don't know. Likewise don't know when I will start up again. I haven't yet had confirmation of how much maternity allowance I will qualify for. I'm hoping it's the full amount as my reading of the guidance indicates I am eligible, but I found it really confusing, so who knows! I did save up during IVF so do have some flex.

Yea we are 😢 she is 15 weeks now. We have her christening on Saturday so a day to spoil her!

A little behind on the thread but wow, congratulations @CloudyIvy55that’s wonderful news! I remember we had our FET on the same day.. I can’t believe your son is here! Sounds like a tough delivery but so lovely to hear the happy ending, wishing you all the best for the next few weeks

also great to hear your update @FancyGoose

will be thinking of you this week @magpie234- sorry to hear the pain has persisted so badly… almost there!

Also sending virtual hugs to @SarahAndQuack - and a virtual cup of tea

and @pastelheart - sorry to hear about work, it sounds like your colleagues really aren’t helping. I’m sure they’ll step up once you leave, it sounds like you’ve been working incredibly hard to set everything up for them. I finish on Friday and have also found handover pretty overwhelming. I fainted in the street on the way to work the other day and had to get checked out at the hospital. Everything was fine (just low blood sugar/didn’t hit the bump) and I only mentioned it to a couple of people at work but it was quite helpful that word spread in terms of getting people to pick stuff up earlier/forcing me to slow down.

37 plus 5 today and induction booked in for next Thurs 7th - eek! (they don’t want us to go past 39). Still thinking about switching to c section maybe if the first stage of induction doesn’t work..

Ok rant incoming. I’ve always felt deeply deeply uncomfortable about midwives being the sole leads of pregnancies in the uk, and really confused by the fact you don’t see proper doctors. Luckily due to ivf I was marked as high risk and got one extra doctors appointment which I went to today, and so glad I did.
it just proved all of my concerns about midwives were correct. Not only did they not take appropriate notes on my medical history (such as me having open abdominal surgery for a fibroid removal), hence making me high risk for rupture and 100% a c section candidate, they insisted on telling me how I can still have a vaginal birth despite the doctor performing the operation telling me I definitely shouldn’t risk a vaginal birth. And they never even noted this in my file!! When the doctor asked if I had any major abdominal surgery other than an ectopic pregnancy and I said “erm other than the 9CM fibroid removal 3 years ago which was basically taken out by c-section” he went pale and was like why is this not in your notes??? I’ve literally mentioned it to EVERY midwife I’ve seen so far.
they’ve also marked me as low risk and no need for a gestational diabetes test despite me saying IN EVERY MEETING I had insulin resistance in my 20s (basically a precursor for diabetes) and despite me managing it very well with diet and exercise it still being a major risk for GD. Nope, again, no note of this in my file at all.
I’m so glad I’ve decided to go for a c section (despite it now being confirmed this isn’t even a decision I should be taking but a must!!) because the idea of me and my baby being in the hands of women who obviously don’t understand the risks and health implications fully, and decide to make off hand comments and recommendations without the knowledge needed makes me want to slap someone. So bloody angry!!! There should 100% be a doctor in the room when you’re giving birth and your pregnancy should 100% be guided by a doctor and no amount of “oh but it’s always been like this here” will make me change my mind on this.

Best of luck today @magpie234will be thinking of you!

@CloudyIvy55 Congratulations that's the best news! 🎉
@magpie234 Thinking of you and your soon to be liberated pelvis today! All this savor every moment BS. Pregnancy is miraculous but also bloody painful. I remember it acutely though at 32 weeks it's not kicked in for me yet.
@SarahAndQuack I'm hoping to work as close to DD as possible also, really don't want to eat into mat leave too much. It's great you feel physically strong still and really hope you get what you need re mat pay. Also congrats on saving during IVF, no small feat! I hear you re the ups and downs right now. Sending virtual tea also!
@zirafica That's awful that so many important details were missed. I'm surprised you weren't consultant led from the start. I guess it's still midwife led because most births are low risk and the specialist knowledge and training isn't there with GPs. Given their tendency to dismiss peri and menopausal symptoms as depression in women, I don't know if I'd want doctor led care. I agree that we have to be the quality control though and have shared a few studies with my consultant on specific risks of donor pregnancies. The nhs still doesn't see this as an independent risk factor despite tons of peer reviewed research and recommendations. Hope you feel in safer hands now your C section is planned; I'm leaning to this option also.

I've been struggling a bit physically and emotionally last few weeks. Have had a constant chest infection and pulled rib muscles which has been excruciating every time I cough, sneeze or basically breathe the wrong way! On top of this, my son is being bullied at school and was punched and spat at in the face yesterday. The school's response is weak to say the least. Apparently said child was having a bad day and my using the word 'assault' is too strong. The stress of this is making me feel sick and even more sleep deprived although my husband pointed out today that I'm considerably more upset than my son is. We're seriously considering pulling him out of the school as behaviour is so poor ATM but there's no where better in the vicinity and it feels a lot of additional stress. Oh for the baby stage where we could protect them from this shit!

One year ago today I had the embryo transfer that resulted in Callie 🥰🥰

@Sara237not a GP, of course. An obgyn. A gynaecologist, so a doctor who specialises in female reproductive systems and understands all they link to. That’s who should lead the pregnancy and deliver the baby!

I'm so sorry you had such a crap experience, @zirafica. I agree with @Sara237 that it sounds as if something went wrong that you weren't consultant-led from the start!

I think the problem is pregnancy and childbirth are still not treated as seriously as they should be. Not just in the UK, but the UK is really bad. I've been working on histories of infertility/pregnancy loss for a few years and so I end up reading all the reports about maternity care in the present day, and it's just awful. And getting worse. Midwives should have the same level of knowledge about normal birth as obstetricians - midwives are involved in training student doctors - but I just think in so many cases, there isn't the level of knowledge or care or thoroughness there should be. And there's a terrible culture in a lot of maternity units. When my daughter was born the surgeon who did the caesarian was absolutely appalling, and a junior doctor and a midwife both encouraged us to complain - it was clear he expected to be treated like a god and never questioned.

It makes me so angry you've had to deal with all of that, on top of IVF pregnancy being a rough ride in itself.

I am quite cross in general today - I just talked to a friend of mine who has been being fobbed off about gynae health issues for years on the basis that it must be she didn't do her pelvic floor exercises properly during pregnancy. Her children are all late teens/adults now and they only found out this year she had massive fibroids that were the issue all along. It just beggars belief.

@magpie234 GOOD LUCK TODAY! Enjoy every moment of meeting your baby 🩷