IVF Pregnancy Club- spring/summer 2026

[pastelheart]

Wanted to start a thread for anyone expecting after IVF and due next spring/summer

I am finding it quite daunting after infertility for 4 years and then a round of IVF to now be FINALLY expecting in June 2026, can hopefully chat with anyone else in the same boat

@backtotheicsi🩷

@SamVan I want to give your dad a shake! I'm sure he means to be helpful but it is so not.

My parents get on my nerves at the best of times, but I am finding them very, very tedious atm. My mum keeps telling me how she's sure she'd have got pregnant at 41 with no trouble. Not helpful. Every time she brings up the subject of a c-section it's 'why would you need one of those?! You seem perfectly healthy!' as if c-sections were invented for women too frail to get off their Victorian fainting couches.

My mum (74) had a similar reaction to me saying I was going to request a c-section saying she cannot understand why anybody would choose to have surgery. I just said fair enough but also you do not have to choose to yourself and I am not in need of external approval about anything to do with my own body so 🤷‍♀️. She has been accepting of that and supportive since. I think a lot of it is down to big generational gaps. They feel particularly big between ours and theirs to me but sure every generation feels it to some degree! She also told me her own pretty terrible-sounding birth story and I was like… cool. I struggle to understand why some older people seem to expect or even want (!) us to suffer in the same way they did? That is bizarre to me. But I think my mum means well. She is a fantastic mum overall. She will definitely annoy the hell out of me at times when baby comes along but seems faiiiiirly self-aware that things will have changed and has said that while she may offer advice I obviously do not have to take it. I also think she will definitely have some helpful advice to share too so am going to try and be open-minded and assume positive intent.

Our mums are nearly the same age! It is quite a big gap, I suppose. Expectations shift.

I love your mum's 'offer advice but you don't have to take it' approach. I think that's pretty much perfect.

@SarahAndQuack Yeah I think I am lucky as actually a lot of things she has said about how she parented us is how I imagine us doing things too. She said at the time a lot of it was not what was being pushed and she was a lot more instinctive/gentle/adaptive with her approach so I think she was quite ahead of the times tbf! She is an arty emotional soul too so thankfully not going to be one of those grandparents with very rigid strict ideals as that would realllllly clash with mine!

Just back from Callie’s 6 weeks check up. Doctor is very happy with her. Up to 10lbs now

Aw, that is so lovely to read! Good for you!

How are you doing in yourself?

@pastelheart I’m glad someone else has no patience like me 😂 my mil offered to help which I might accept on some days but I told her honestly that we’d really rather us just hire a nanny to help so I don’t have to worry about chatting or being extra polite like I’d have to with her. I actually don’t mind my in laws helping a bit as they aren’t as triggering as my own parents.

@SarahAndQuack not helpful is exactly how I would characterize my parents 😂 that is annoying your mum just having a go at c sections. I assume that’s what you’ve planned? Do they realize it’s an actually safer for the baby? There’s definitely pros and cons but I think in their generation (my parents around the same age as yours) c sections were only for emergencies. If men had babies, I bet everyone would have a c section, none of this laboring pain would be acceptable.

@magpie234 count yourself lucky, your mum sounds lovely. I really hope I can be the sort of mum that my kids want around after they have a child.

I am doing good thanks, back to my usual self and enjoying spending time with baby. I can see her being awake more and more alert. She has started smiling properly now and it just melts the heart ❤️

@SamVan@pastelheart@SarahAndQuack@magpie234 omg kind of in the same boat! We live away from both of our families (I’d say thankfully to that), partner’s fam is a 6 hour car ride away and mine a 2 hour plane ride away. Honestly we both love our own independence and peace and would hate people popping over as they please. On the other hand I’d love someone to drop off food as I’m the main cook and I know partner will struggle with that bit, but I will batch cook and freeze stuff in advance for sure. However if we have anyone visiting they’ll have to stay with us and it’s just a mental burden I cannot take 😂 I adore my mum and we get on great and I’m sure she’d be so helpful as she’s a great cook and she respects boundaries, so I’d gladly have her over after we’ve gotten a bit settled, however what I REALLY don’t want is partner’s family visiting as they are the complete opposite. His mum has awful food hygiene (not rinsing dishes after soaping them, open packs of chicken breast in fridge, and claiming eggs that expired MONTHS ago are safe to eat) + has no idea how to cook so having her around would 100% be a million times more stressful. But then how do I say my mum can come and yours can’t? We’ve kind of agreed not to have anyone visiting for the first couple of months, but again I’m delivering mid August and I don’t want to shut myself and the baby up and miss the potential of some lovely last minute sunny walks and potential help from my mum which I think I’ll be so grateful for? Although I suppose after a c-section walks will be the last thing on my mind 😂😂

This is so good to read! You are giving me real hope ... it's just wonderful. So glad you are feeling good too!

Eek! That sounds tricky. Especially the food hygiene. My mum is like that - I think she's got worse as she got older, but she was never great. Think raw chicken, sleeve cuffs dragging across the chopping board, chicken on the worktop not the board, then she's offended if I want to clean the whole surface after she's done. She means well but I hate having her cook at mine!

I'm also aware I will need help as I'm on my own. But crossing my fingers it'll be ok!

Lots of different opinions situations around parents and PIL. Mine are both lovely but I know they will be so keen to come asap after the birth... something I don't want. My sister was pregnant and gave birth while living abroad so I've lost count of how many times I"ve heard my mum say 'I missed out with your sister so I want to soak it all in with you!'

I'm approached the conversation with my bf a few more times and I think now he understands better why I want my space after the birth which is good - he's just so excited and doesn't want to wait any longer to finally show off our baby!

Also, I don't want to tell anyone I've gone into labour but also recognise we will need their help to look after the dog when we go to the hospital. So we've agreed that he will manage all communications and not even mention it to me ... I don't want to have to think about how to reply to messages or trying to reassure other people when I'm focussing on keeping myself calm.

@dubkitten such lovely news!! Giving me hope!!

@SarahAndQuack you get it! I think if my mil came I just wouldn’t trust her near any food (or the kitchen in general) which means I’d just have one more person to feed and care for which I really don’t want. Maybe just framing it as look I need people around me that can actually help and your mum unfortunately doesn’t fall in that category? We’ll see… I’m an eldest daughter and hyper independent so I am going into it thinking it’s gonna be so hard but if I prep and lower some of my standards when it gets to partner’s cooking, it’ll be fine 😂

@CloudyIvy55 yeah in an ideal world I wouldn’t want anyone around either (despite loving my mum), but I’ve been reading so much about how asking for help is the best thing you can do and not take everything on yourself so I’m trying to consider this as an option.
to be perfectly honest with you all the only person I’d want around is my best friend who lives in the states, as we’re literally the same person - I never have to explain anything to her cause she thinks exactly the same and understands me without me even saying a word, she’s got a 9month old but has suggested coming over for a few weeks to help me out and I would ABSOLUTELY be over the moon with that cause she would be the most help and the biggest support, but then again I’m in the “how do I say YES to an overatlantic flight and all the cooties that come with that and no to my and his mums cause I’m “protecting the baby cause it has no immunity”? It’s actually ridiculous 😂😂

it’s great that you’ve got your partner’s support in how you want to handle visitations after! My partner is the same, he’s so excited by it all and I’m like okay but can we be mindful that I would’ve delivered a baby, gone through a MASSIVE surgery, had my guts ripped open, recovering with scars and won’t have the energy or desire to be presented or presentable for anyone? Like it’s not JUST about the baby? I think our mums just want to be there but there’s zero understanding of how much pressure it puts on us. I think I’d lose it if my mum uttered she wants to soak things up with my baby. Like sorry you had your baby this one is mine and I’m doing it my way!

I am lucky because for my PiL this will be their 8th grandchild! So definitely no novelty factor 😅. They are also good at giving us our space (my husband is their youngest of four) so am not expecting them to turn up at the hospital or expect to visit within the first few days. They are also only 40 mins away so no need to stay over.

For my mum this will be her first (I am one of two) so I want to try and balance our own needs as a new family with also allowing her the excitement and experience of being a nana. She is on her own after my dad died and has done so amazingly rebuilding a life for herself. I think she will be both helpful and annoying in equal measure tbh but again no need for her to stay which will make a big difference as pop-ins are obviously nowhere near as demanding. Think am going to have to see how it goes and put in boundaries as needed when they crop up and hope she respects them. Just also want to try not to meet trouble halfway!

For anyone else wondering we have moved over to the other thread now 😊

I actually feel really uncomfortable about that TBH. It's market research for a product to be paid for.

Thats absolutely fine - please don’t feel like you have to take part.
I’ve paid for other apps that just aren’t even close to giving me the support I need in this journey so im just trying to work out what people would want (aside from just my own opinion). It very well may go nowhere but you never know - something amazingly supportive could come out of mine and a few others tough journeys 🤍

Hi everyone, very grateful for this thread! My husband and I are waiting to meet our miracle baby in June ❤️ We had 6 rounds of ivf over the hardest 2 years of our lives and still can't believe we're lucky enough to be on this position after being given very low chances.

I'm super content and loving being pregnant but today I had the most uncomfortable day so far, almost constant upper back pain, rib pain and feeling soooo stretched I could burst! I'd look forward to bed if I wasn't having such disrupted sleep! Apart from that all good!😂

Hope everyone is doing okay! X

@RosieRedRobin hey! We have filled this thread up now so we started a new thread, come over there! Welcome though! I am also due in June xox