IVF Pregnancy Club- spring/summer 2026

[pastelheart]

Wanted to start a thread for anyone expecting after IVF and due next spring/summer

I am finding it quite daunting after infertility for 4 years and then a round of IVF to now be FINALLY expecting in June 2026, can hopefully chat with anyone else in the same boat

@backtotheicsi🩷

@MintOwl Me… got my first pelvic health physio appt on Thursday. Sorry it has got you too!

@FancyGoose I would be up for this - and maybe even helping them out which I have seen some mums do. But am not sure my hospital offers this option…

Just been to see a nursery and joined the wait list which is currently full until next August! Crazy times. Really liked it though. I do feel uneasy doing this before she’s even born but needs must where I live

Thanks for the new thread @pastelheartit's really helpful to see everyone's due dates at the top!

I've been starting on the nursery this week. Although, it's not really a nursery as such as they will be sleeping in our room but I wanted a nice space to keep all their things. I've got a changing table, rocking chair, chest of drawers - all fb market place and I also got some cute wall stickers off vinted which I love! I'm a big fan of a budget DIY project.

We've been talking about birthplans. I'm aiming for a vaginal, water, hypnobirthing type birth - been doing lots of research. One sticking point is that I don't want to tell anyone when I've gone into labour. I know it can be a long process and I'm really into protecting our bubble (we didn't tell anyone we did IVF) but my bf thinks it's unfair not to tell our parents and that we'll likely need their help with the dog anyway .... any ideas? I imagine I'll also want my space after the birth and he'll be wanting to invite the whole word in 🤦‍♀️😂

Sounds perfect @CloudyIvy55! I am enjoying doing ours even though she will be in with us for about 6 months first. Still nice to have an area to store things as you say and have also got a comfy chair going in there!

I reckon it should be up to you about telling people and having people over after etc tbh. You are the one doing the birthing after all! I also would not tell anyone when I went into labour unless one or two needed to know for practical reasons. Not sure if am going to tell anyone my c-section date bar maybe my mum.

@magpie234 the whimsical theme sounds really nice, I have been looking at wall murals for the plain white wall and thinking something with flowers /fairies type theme☺️

@zirafica my rash was tiny wee red spots that were intensely itchy and after scratching my skin felt on fire, I did go to doc and they gave me antihistamines and a hydrocortisone 1% cream but I didn’t use these as wanted natural ingredients rather than pharmaceutical drugs on my skin, so the nettle cream really helped as it’s natural antihistamines! Sorry you have a rash, I guess the plus is it isn’t itchy ?! But I hope it clears up soon for you. Not sure what you can use on it to help ? Maybes a calming aloe Vera to calm and sooth the redness ?

@MintOwl @FancyGoose yes the twitching has stopped ..thanks for asking .. it lasted 48 hours then just stopped ?! So strange .. hope it stays away .. it’s scary when you lip starts dropping with the twitch 😳

@CloudyIvy55 we have just said that the 1st two weeks we are having no visitors as all my family live far away, about 3 hours away so they always stay over when they visit they can’t just ‘pop in’ if you know what I mean they have to stay for a few days, so having people stay a few nights will defo be too much. My partner will take paternity first two weeks and we will have that time to get into a routine etc, then the visitors will all be staying after that, I don’t think we as new mothers should be forced to or feel obliged to have a house full of people when we are sore /bleeding .. breast feeding every other hour and sleeping every other hour (if we can) I feel my family will understand we just want the 1st two weeks to settle in 💛🤞🏽✨🙏

@CloudyIvy55 i am hoping for a vaginal birth also, I was induced with my 1st and it went really smoothly, no stitches, delivered in about 12 hours from starting my contractions and I can’t remember it being too sore /painful .. it’s like your brain forgets the pain so I am up for being induced again, will research water birth as not sure if I will do that but it does sound nice and would probably help with the cramps etc 💛 I will definitely want gas and air and the pethidine or diamorphine not sure what it’s called these days lol but I’ll opt for them both as pain relief, not wanted the epidural if I can help it

Well my MIL has said she isn’t booking or planning anything for the whole of May AND June, “in case we need her help”…… please help me.

Not her help me… I meant you guys help me get out of two months of “help” and random showing up at our house

I am the opposite of most of you - I have my mom on standby ready to come and stay as soon as baby is born 🤣 but agree that everyone should do what they feel most comfortable doing. If you want a couple of weeks in your baby bubble then absolutely shouldn't feel obligated to see other people.

Had a growth scan today and baby has dropped to 4th centile :( mostly down to the stomach not growing over 2 weeks. But the blood flow etc looks good so that's a good sign. They hooked me up to a ctg which they were happy with and I have a doppler scan next week. Not sure if I will have anything else additional (but already have another growth scan on 3rd anyway). Fetal medicine did phone me but I couldn't hear properly on the ward and was on the ctg thing so couldn't move. The Dr said she would try to pop down to the ward but didn't see her before I was discharged so I might ring tomorrow to see if I can speak to her properly. But they have said they will bring my section forward to wc 9 March which feels so soon now!! Was due to finish work next week but my lovely boss has agreed I can finish the end of this week instead so that feels surreal!

@FancyGoose My mum will come over too - and to the hospital I imagine - but she only lives 20 minutes away so can pop in rather than needing to stay. @pastelheart Oh dear… thoughts and prayers are with you! Sweet of her obviously but not if she is the randomly dropping by type… that I could not stand 🫣

@FancyGoose Sorry this all sounds stressful but exciting to be going on mat leave earlier than planned and have baby out so soon now! Hope it all goes smoothly for you from here.

Gosh, @FancyGoose, that's a rollercoaster! I'm so glad your boss is being supportive.

@pastelheart, all my sympathy! My mum told me yesterday that she will 'have' to come up often - it was definitely a threat not a promise!

I am quite cautious about telling people about labour, because when DP went in (for an induction) it ended up being days and there was almost no phone signal anywhere. Trying to update worried parents was absolutely the last thing I wanted or needed to be doing at that time! I hope very much that this time I can just do it all quietly and let people know once it's over.

Yikes re nurseries, haven’t started looking at that yet partly as we’re not 100% sure where we’re going to be living (partner works in another city, mainly remotely, but we’re planning to try out being there for part of maternity leave)

Commiserations on your PGP, @magpie234, I’m trying not to let it get me down too much but it’s hard. Fingers crossed our physio appts help.

I guess I might have told my mum about going into labour but, thinking it through, it’s probably best not to as it’ll just make her anxious. I forgot I’d told her the date of one of my scans and didn’t give her an update until the following day, by which time it turned out she was imagining the worst..

very best wishes to you @FancyGoose!

We have also enquired about nurseries, we are in Cardiff (I am English though, my partner is Welsh) and I have found a Welsh speaking nursery so I would like baby to go there. There isn’t a waiting list currently so that’s good, it’s quite a new nursery but its sister nursery is in the next town over and has really good reviews. I would love for our baby to be able to speak Welsh and go to Welsh schools too (not that me… or my partner will be able to understand him)

so I had cracked the sleeping and minimal rib pain the last week (fyi, I eat a big meal at lunch and then only a snack on the evening and this helps with the rib pain) but last night I ate dinner with my son a bit too late and the pain was so bad, I had to move to the guest bedroom and make myself a nest out of pillows to be able to sleep but I did sleep well once I fell asleep so not all doom and gloom today

hope everyone is okay today! X

Ooh I love the sound of the pillow nest @pastelheart im not in pain yet but feel a lot of discomfort after a meal, my modus operandi is snack snack snack (healthily) when left to my own devices but dp so loves a proper sit down dinner. But I just can’t eat after 6 anymore without a lot of heavy breathing and heaving. And coooool with the Welsh school, if there was a Gaelic nursery/school near me I’d love to choose it. I love learning languages (half heartedly) and am 2/3 through the Duolingo Russian course (started pre war, half Russian niece!) and I lament that I can’t give them a second language myself. My incredibly intelligent 5yo nephew is doing French duolingo but he taught himself to read and write around 2/3 so it might be unfair to expect the same from my own babe haha.

actually his mum (my sister) is (was) a hypnobirthing coach @CloudyIvy55 ! She’s a paediatric dentist and got into hypnotherapy through the nhs to calm children before big procedures. She is a big proponent of hypnobirthing though sadly I don’t think that or a pool is a choice I’m allowed unfortunately. Though I’d love it! If you have any questions I’d be happy to pass them on to her.

just at the hospital waiting for my next cervix check. I arrive way too early as I can’t handle the parking anxiety haha (you sometimes spend 30 mins trawling for a space).

loving all the nursery chat! Unfortunately we’re in a slow process of dealing with damp issues and I want that room to be very safe before babe goes anywhere near it.

Sorry about the worrying growth scan @FancyGoose , but it sounds like they’re happy with the baby’s overall health. I’m glad they’re actioning a plan, they definitely sound on top of it and will be all ready for baby and any care they might need upon arrival. It blows my mind that there’s such a movement to free birth, but then I’m in a group informed by years of infertility/loss, so I guess we’re all about safety and security. How luxurious it would be to not be worried.

I am about to start reading Matrescence by Lucy Jones having heard wonderful things. Has anyone else read it? I hope I like it a lot more than Expecting Better by Emily Oster… in that one she brags about driving home from the hospital and going out for coffee after giving birth while her friend struggled after an emergency c-section (among other similar delights!) so I was not her biggest fan tbh! Others seem to really like that book though.

I slept even more terribly than usual last night but have my first pelvic health physio appointment tomorrow so hopefully that will help. Looking forward to getting the house back to myself after some tradies have been in too… they have been arriving at 7.30am each day and I have had to be on tea duty etc 😴. Otherwise doing OK… on Friday I will be on my single-digit week countdown (30 weeks) which feels so surreal 😳

I've read it. I thought it was good, and interesting. I've not read the Emily Ostler one, though, so can't compare! (Boringly, I read a ton of books on motherhood because I used to study infertility and I am slightly nervously hoping I can get a book proposal to an agent before this one comes along.)

It's old, but the book I really loved was Naomi Stadlen's 'What Mothers Do'. My wonderful feminist group bought it for me and ex-DP when DD was born and I found it really helpful.

@magpie234just reading matrescence and really enjoying it! Also reading the book you wish your parents read - that one is a bit more triggering but finding it super helpful!

@SarahAndQuack Cool about the book proposal! Keep us updated if that happens so we can all read it please! Not ruling out the idea of a non-fiction myself in the future (am a journalist and hoping to train as a counsellor specialising in grief/infertility/relationships) but also not sure I have the patience! Thanks for that other rec too - I shall look that one up for sure.

@zirafica Oh great! I also have that Philippa Perry one on my bookshelf so will get to that too.

Has anyone started their antenatal classes and if so how are you finding them? Ours start on Monday. I am excited but also a bit anxious! Keen to make some friends so it feels a bit first day of school 😅

Ooh, that's such a cool job, @magpie234. Interesting about the counselling training too. I think that would be so rewarding but also very full-on. I've written a book before (but academic so different publishing process) so I know I can get the words out; it's just whether anyone wants to publish it!

Good luck with the antenatal class! I've not started mine but know exactly what you mean!

@magpie234 I have finished my antenatal classes now. On the whole it was good and I did meet some people who seem nice and we all have a WhatsApp group so hoping to meet up with them when the babies are all here. I did find it a bit triggering though with all the heavily pregnant women who just don't seem to have any fear that things won't work out - but as you said before, we're coming from such a different place.

Don't get me started on the freebirthing movement - especially idiots who don't even go to scans to be able to rule out any obvious health issues that might affect birth. My nephew was born with gastroschisis and would have died if it wasn't picked up on scans so a plan was in place and he was taken immediately to the children's hospital for treatment. He's absolutely perfect now but just infuriates me that something so 'simple' in clinical terms could have resulted in such a tragic outcome just for the sake of going for a scan. I get wanting minimal interventions and a home birth and in the vast majority of cases I'm sure that's lovely and works out fine but I can't understand why people wouldn't take at least basic precautions. Anyway, rant over 🤣

I've not read any books yet but might Put some on my list!!

@zirafica I also read the book you wish your parents had read. super triggering but helpful for avoiding repeating their mistakes.

Does anyone find their parents more annoying now they are having a kid?! I feel like everyone has lovely parents they want around. Whereas I can think of nothing worse than having my parents stay when the baby is here. My parents are well meaning but annoying af. My dad keeps saying incorrect things and acting like I’m being too cautious and telling me the same story about some lady he know who had 8 kids and they all just slipped out. Realizing that I was raised by people so incompetent is really annoying me at this point when I’m putting in so much effort to do the best in everything for my son.

@magpie234 please do report back on the book as I’ve heard good things and might read it next :) I haven’t found my antenatal class very helpful.. it feels kinda rushed - lactation was done in 5 minutes and we haven’t learnt very much. I did happy parents happy baby.

@FancyGoose sorry to hear it’s been so stressful for you but I’m glad you have a plan now and hope you are feeling better.

@SamVan I find everyone annoying 😂😂 I don’t want anyone to stay after the baby is born either, I just want it to be us. I have asked for my family to meal prep for me and I’m hoping they think that is plenty of help and then leave me alone 😂 xx

ooh magpie just to say, I’ve got a couple of tradies in too for a good few weeks, I set them up a platter of Kit Kats and breakfast bars, sugar tea coffee, and said grab milk and the kettle when needed. It started as I was so worried earlier on about moving about but now it’s just convenient! Get yourself off tea duty—you’re in pain!

I hope your physio brings some relief today and sleep tonight.

Oops and i meant to say DP bought me matrescence for Christmas. After the scary time at 16 weeks onwards I couldn’t bring myself to read about pregnant women who weren’t having to be extremely cautious. But I’m starting to believe I’ll meet my baby now, even if very early, so might do a read along! Saying that I’ve been reading some of the no guilt pregnancy book and it’s somewhat vapid, plus suggested a glass of wine a day can increase your baby’s IQ. Maybe it’s true but I’m not sure it’s helpful.

@Nosejug Makes total sense and in that case do NOT read Emily Oster! Thanks for the tea platter tip - copying that for sure.