Tips Please! Fake Drinking at Christmas

[LurkingWithTea]

Hello! My husband and I are about to begin TTC, and this will be our first baby and we want this to be our special secret for a bit before bringing other people in. By Christmas, I either won't be 12 weeks or will still be TTC, so we still won't want to tell anyone. But I am a known social drinker. I plan to fake drinking rather than make up excuses that draw attention to it but I'm not really sure the best way to go about it. This is partly as I do have people in my life who pay attention to whether or not I have 'drunk enough' at parties, but especially as I usually drink something that is from a big bottle shared with the whole group. Like if I bring a bottle of wine with Shloer in someone else will have a glass and will definitely notice! I like the idea of using the cocktail cans but people will notice if I'm pouring it out and replacing the contents. And having DH drink my drink sneakily is a great idea but will only be a possibility in half of the situations! I do make a round from time to time so I could make a fake one for myself but I just as often get drinks made for me. Any advice for how you or someone in a similar situation managed it? I would also appreciate suggestions of fake wines or spirits that taste like the real thing... if such a thing exists! TYSM! ♡

So I would take a different track. Say you've had bloods tests done because you're feeling tired, and you've come back as low iron and low folate, and you've been advised not to drink as alcohol inhibits absorption. Totally plausible if you're usually a pretty keen boozer! Because otherwise you'll get caught out and people will think you're pregnant immediately.

You are the one driving/got to be up early to drive somewhere.
Work presentation so need clear head in morning.
Babysitting tomorrow - can't do it with a hangover.
Giving blood next 48hrs.
Just got rid of a migraine, don't want to risk another.

The Kylie sparkling rose alcohol free. We drank it & only realised it was the alcohol free one after & actually read the label. Didn't have any weird tang/taste that gave it away.

I found out I was pregnant at the start of December and was a notorious booze hound prior to pregnancy.

I used to put a load of non alcoholic fizz in an insulated water bottle in my bag and nip to the loo when I’d been poured an alcoholic drink and filled up with the alcohol free stuff in the loos 😂

I also used to get to places early when stuff was planned, take a bartender into confidence and ask him to do me a non-alcoholic version of whatever I ‘asked’ for.

I did cry off a couple of events with ‘a sickness bug’ (not a lie, I felt rough!)

We’d had an early scan with a heartbeat by Xmas day so just told family, there’d be no hiding there! It was post 8 weeks though.

I then told everyone I was doing dry Jan, by February it was post 12 weeks.

Good luck with your TTC journey and hoping you need these tips! It’s a tough time of year to keep that sort of thing quiet :-)

I’ve got through three work Christmas parties where nobody knew I was pregnant by just wandering around with my glass of Prosecco taking micro sips every now and then then when it was time to go through to dinner I just put it down on a table and walked off. I ordered my drinks at the bar and just got something that could have been a mixer (so basically I got a coke), I let someone pour me a wine at the table and used it for all the toasts taking a pretend sip when required to. I didn’t draw attention to myself so nobody noticed.

I also always make sure that people know I’ve got to drive home. The first time when I was pregnant with my eldest I told everyone that my husband’s work party was on the same night as mine so he couldn’t pick me up (actually was the case by coincidence), after that I was straight up and said I needed to drive myself home as husband was at home with the toddler and wouldn’t be able to leave him home alone to come get me (also true).

Antibiotics for a urinary tract / chest (but that requires fake coughing).

Or you could just drink. The placenta isn’t formed till 10 weeks plus so it’s unlikely some alcohol is going to affect anything.

Just say you’re on a health kick and are giving up alcohol and are eating more healthily too.

I wouldn't go with making up a mystery illness tbh.

I did the same as a pp - walked around with a glass of wine and ditched it, then went to the bar and got myself a tonic water/lemonade etc

If you say antibiotics you might as well just say pregnant, nobody believes that.

Champagne glass of Sprite with a drop of Coca Cola in it looks like champagne 👀👀

A lot of people don't drink these days, so you might get away with saying you're giving it up for health reasons. It's sort of true anyway

Stop making such a drama out of it you're not actually the main character.

Usually a simple 'I'm not drinking tonight' is enough. People have to be quite hard nosed to ask 'why not?' but if they do you can just shrug and say 'big night last night/feeling a bit rough/got to drive'. Honestly, pregnancy might be uppermost in your mind, but most people really don't care.

Start fundraising for Dry December and be really vocal about it. Every time someone offers you a drink start talking about the BHF and shake your tin.

Honestly I wouldn’t do any of those things. If someone offers you a glass of Prosecco, accept it, take a pretend sip and then put it down. DH can drink from your glass so the volume goes down and then you periodically take a pretend sip…or lift it to your mouth and then get distracted or interject with a comment. Repeat as necessary.

People aren’t paying much attention to what you are drinking, just whether or not you are accepting the drinks.

Pop the Prosecco yourself for bonus points.

Ive drunk grape juice instead if red wine, of apple juice instead of white.

Clearly states in the OP "This is partly as I do have people in my life who pay attention to whether or not I have 'drunk enough' at parties" so people are monitoring what she drinks.

My sister had this from the second she was married, people monitoring her drinking to see if they could spot her pregnancy.

Got away with it through 2 pregnancies. First one I went with chest infection (I did have a cough) and the second one I was never asked but planned to say urinary as not checkable. So “nobody believes that” is incorrect. You may, of course, not have my Oscar winning acting skills. Oh, and first baby (now 25) was over the millennium New Year (Hogmanay - am in Scotland).

You know it’s ok not to be an alkie? 🤔

I‘m sure it was plausible a few decades ago! Nobody believes it in this day and age, though.

OH isn't allowed alcohol for medical reasons. He doesn't hide it all his mates know and are fine with it, no strange comments. Not even the expectation of hom being permanent driver though he's happy dnough to drive. (If we're going out then he's always driver)

Past year or so we've been getting alcohol free wine and alcohol free beer. It's really not bad these days and does allow you to feel you're joining in on a night out.

A few decades……How old do you think I am? And how very sneery. “Old people used to be a bit thick but we young folk, we are far too clever for that old trick.” Blimey!!

Wishing you all the best with ttc!

I had two socials early on with my current pregnancy.

At the hen do I just ordered mocktails and no-one noticed as they came in proper glasses. I also was just a friend not a bride/bridesmaid so what I was drinking wouldn’t have been important to anyone tbh.

At my book club, I had told a close friend and I just acted normally and she and I kept switching glasses through the night (so when she finished hers we swapped discreetly). With my first pregnancy it was easier to just tell some of my close friends who I already had dates to meet up with because I drink wine socially with them and there’s not an excuse under the sun that I could give that they wouldn’t have guessed.

I’ve not found a single white or red wine that tastes realistic despite all the reviews but the two fake sparkling wines I’ve found that taste pretty legitimate are “Amie Non Sparkling Rose” which is a bit on the pricier side at £15 and the Scavi & Ray Alcohol Free Sparkling which is just £7.99 on Amazon.

If you suddenly start acting different around alcohol and making a thing of swapping it out for other drinks then people will start asking questions and watching for the bump appearing. I'd start now and say that you have been feeling worse and worse with alcohol and you're getting worried so you're giving it up for a few months to see if you start feeling better. Then stick to it and just keep repeating that you've told them you're giving it up for a while so they need to stop asking.