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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Tips Please! Fake Drinking at Christmas

95 replies

LurkingWithTea · 13/10/2025 19:20

Hello! My husband and I are about to begin TTC, and this will be our first baby and we want this to be our special secret for a bit before bringing other people in. By Christmas, I either won't be 12 weeks or will still be TTC, so we still won't want to tell anyone. But I am a known social drinker. I plan to fake drinking rather than make up excuses that draw attention to it but I'm not really sure the best way to go about it. This is partly as I do have people in my life who pay attention to whether or not I have 'drunk enough' at parties, but especially as I usually drink something that is from a big bottle shared with the whole group. Like if I bring a bottle of wine with Shloer in someone else will have a glass and will definitely notice! I like the idea of using the cocktail cans but people will notice if I'm pouring it out and replacing the contents. And having DH drink my drink sneakily is a great idea but will only be a possibility in half of the situations! I do make a round from time to time so I could make a fake one for myself but I just as often get drinks made for me. Any advice for how you or someone in a similar situation managed it? I would also appreciate suggestions of fake wines or spirits that taste like the real thing... if such a thing exists! TYSM! ♡

OP posts:

ReadingTeaLeaves · 14/10/2025 00:47

Have you thought about saying that you’re hoping to get pregnant and so being cautious with you alcohol intake? (Sorry, not RTFT).

BreadInCaptivity · 14/10/2025 00:55

I drank a lot of tonic water and pretended it was G&T.

If someone offered me a drink just asked for tonic and said I’ve had 2 g&t’s already so better make this one just a tonic to rehydrate.

DeadsoulsAngel · 14/10/2025 00:57

Is there a reason that waiting till January is out? It’s three months…. I understand you might not want to but if no excuse will pass and you don’t want people to know, it’s the only other option?

Francestein · 14/10/2025 00:59

Fake being sick the week prior and claim to be on antibiotics. Let everyone know that the AB’s make you feel sick.

Wherethewildthings · 14/10/2025 05:54

People really need to back off. They sound awful, asking all the time. For all they know you could already be several years into trying and failing to conceive. I hope you have an easy journey because that sort of constant comment wears thin very fast if you struggle even a little bit.

Neurodiversitydoctor · 14/10/2025 05:59

hshshshhdaujhwgwva · 13/10/2025 19:51

I’ve got through three work Christmas parties where nobody knew I was pregnant by just wandering around with my glass of Prosecco taking micro sips every now and then then when it was time to go through to dinner I just put it down on a table and walked off. I ordered my drinks at the bar and just got something that could have been a mixer (so basically I got a coke), I let someone pour me a wine at the table and used it for all the toasts taking a pretend sip when required to. I didn’t draw attention to myself so nobody noticed.

I also always make sure that people know I’ve got to drive home. The first time when I was pregnant with my eldest I told everyone that my husband’s work party was on the same night as mine so he couldn’t pick me up (actually was the case by coincidence), after that I was straight up and said I needed to drive myself home as husband was at home with the toddler and wouldn’t be able to leave him home alone to come get me (also true).

I think this poster has it. My SIL pulled this off Xmas 2022 I am still not sure how she managed it. But tbh even if they guess most people won't say anything.

Househassles · 14/10/2025 06:00

Cranberry juice in a martini or highball/long drink glass. People will clock the colour and assume it's a cosmopolitain or "vodka cran" because who thinks to ask for pure cranberry juice at the bar?

Cheepcheepcheep · 14/10/2025 06:11

Beammeupbob · 14/10/2025 00:32

@Cheepcheepcheep& @CheeseWiselyAre you the same person?. Both notorious booze hounds who arrive early and ' take a Barman into your confidence '

😂 can only assume @CheeseWisely read my post and echoed some of the phrasing unintentionally, I’ve done that before.

Either that or I’m so much of a boozehound that on a Monday night I created a second account and posted again without any memory of doing so… but that would be a fairly risky plan with a 5yo and a 3yo these days!

PurBal · 14/10/2025 06:20

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 13/10/2025 20:11

Usually a simple 'I'm not drinking tonight' is enough. People have to be quite hard nosed to ask 'why not?' but if they do you can just shrug and say 'big night last night/feeling a bit rough/got to drive'. Honestly, pregnancy might be uppermost in your mind, but most people really don't care.

This. No one will notice.

hotelheartbreak · 14/10/2025 06:21

Just say you are taking a break from the booze! Loads of people are sober or sober curious and no one really cares! I’ve done long stints sober due to IVF, and I’ve just been honest, without going into detail. I’m taking a break from it - honest, simple to the point. Also drive everywhere, then you can’t be pressured.

ChocolateCinderToffee · 14/10/2025 06:22

valianttortoise · 13/10/2025 20:07

Stop making such a drama out of it you're not actually the main character.

Rude!

StrongLikeMamma · 14/10/2025 06:23

Say you’re on antibiotics

Original poster

LurkingWithTea · 14/10/2025 08:05

Wherethewildthings · 13/10/2025 19:23

So I would take a different track. Say you've had bloods tests done because you're feeling tired, and you've come back as low iron and low folate, and you've been advised not to drink as alcohol inhibits absorption. Totally plausible if you're usually a pretty keen boozer! Because otherwise you'll get caught out and people will think you're pregnant immediately.

That's a really good idea and would possibly work for the short term but declining every single drink over Christmas, blood tests or no, would definitely get people's attention... they're just all so excited, which is lovely, but makes it a bit tricky 😅

OP posts:

Original poster

LurkingWithTea · 14/10/2025 08:08

CoffeeBeansGalore · 13/10/2025 19:46

The Kylie sparkling rose alcohol free. We drank it & only realised it was the alcohol free one after & actually read the label. Didn't have any weird tang/taste that gave it away.

Oh that's actually such a good shout! We never drink rose as a group, I might be the only one that likes it idk, so if I was to rock up with a bottle of sparkling rose, people would either not have any or would not know whether it tastes different or not! Thanks, I'm going to find a bottle and try it I think, do you know where sells it? ♡

OP posts:

CheeseWisely · 14/10/2025 08:09

Beammeupbob · 14/10/2025 00:32

@Cheepcheepcheep& @CheeseWiselyAre you the same person?. Both notorious booze hounds who arrive early and ' take a Barman into your confidence '

No but I must have read @Cheepcheepcheep’s post and remembered how much I love the word boozehound.

Zippidydoodah · 14/10/2025 08:11

My eagle eyed sister in law could not be thrown off the scent when I was in early pregnancy. Nosey sod! 🤣 She worked it out.

Anyway, I think taking a glass and taking pretend sips then just ditching it is probably best. Get a round in yourself, then just don’t accept (all of) the other rounds.

Good luck!

Original poster

LurkingWithTea · 14/10/2025 08:14

Cheepcheepcheep · 13/10/2025 19:49

I found out I was pregnant at the start of December and was a notorious booze hound prior to pregnancy.

I used to put a load of non alcoholic fizz in an insulated water bottle in my bag and nip to the loo when I’d been poured an alcoholic drink and filled up with the alcohol free stuff in the loos 😂

I also used to get to places early when stuff was planned, take a bartender into confidence and ask him to do me a non-alcoholic version of whatever I ‘asked’ for.

I did cry off a couple of events with ‘a sickness bug’ (not a lie, I felt rough!)

We’d had an early scan with a heartbeat by Xmas day so just told family, there’d be no hiding there! It was post 8 weeks though.

I then told everyone I was doing dry Jan, by February it was post 12 weeks.

Good luck with your TTC journey and hoping you need these tips! It’s a tough time of year to keep that sort of thing quiet :-)

Thank you ♡
If we get pregnant easily and we're far enough along to feel a bit 'safer' we probably will tell close family but we would like to keep it to ourselves for a bit and definitely don't want to tell our friends too early.
Nipping to the loo is a good idea and believable when drinking too! 'Oops, I broke the seal too early, gonna be up and down all night!'
Thanks for such kind and supportive words ♡

OP posts:

Original poster

LurkingWithTea · 14/10/2025 08:34

NewHome2026 · 13/10/2025 20:14

Honestly I wouldn’t do any of those things. If someone offers you a glass of Prosecco, accept it, take a pretend sip and then put it down. DH can drink from your glass so the volume goes down and then you periodically take a pretend sip…or lift it to your mouth and then get distracted or interject with a comment. Repeat as necessary.

People aren’t paying much attention to what you are drinking, just whether or not you are accepting the drinks.

Pop the Prosecco yourself for bonus points.

That’s a really helpful perspective and I think it would definitely work in some settings. With my friends though, we usually do relaxed evenings at each other’s houses rather than going to a bar (it’s a lot cheaper!) and I have been playfully called out before for still having half a glass when everyone’s ready for a top-up! It’s easy enough to say ‘I’m going to skip a round’ and that’s fine here and there but we don’t see each other very often so when we do it’s usually a few drinks and a long catch-up which makes it trickier to go unnoticed if my drink never empties!

OP posts:

Pebblepoppy · 14/10/2025 08:40

If you're a woman of child bearing age and you start behaving very differently around alcohol, people will notice and suspect, however plausible your story is. Hopefully they'll have the manners not to say anything.

You have to tell them you're cutting back (but not why), drive everywhere, or hold but not drink your drinks.

I do think you're perhaps making more of a drama of it than it needs to be.

Original poster

LurkingWithTea · 14/10/2025 08:42

olittlegreene · 13/10/2025 20:27

Wishing you all the best with ttc!

I had two socials early on with my current pregnancy.

At the hen do I just ordered mocktails and no-one noticed as they came in proper glasses. I also was just a friend not a bride/bridesmaid so what I was drinking wouldn’t have been important to anyone tbh.

At my book club, I had told a close friend and I just acted normally and she and I kept switching glasses through the night (so when she finished hers we swapped discreetly). With my first pregnancy it was easier to just tell some of my close friends who I already had dates to meet up with because I drink wine socially with them and there’s not an excuse under the sun that I could give that they wouldn’t have guessed.

I’ve not found a single white or red wine that tastes realistic despite all the reviews but the two fake sparkling wines I’ve found that taste pretty legitimate are “Amie Non Sparkling Rose” which is a bit on the pricier side at £15 and the Scavi & Ray Alcohol Free Sparkling which is just £7.99 on Amazon.

I could definitely get away with the mocktail idea when out at a bar... I have been known to order a mocktail and asked them to add vodka or gin when there isn't an actual cocktail on their menu I like! Otherwise, they often have one or two NA versions of the standard cocktails on the mocktail list. And maybe they'll make me virgin versions of anything i order if I ask them nicely (and secretly)... 🤔

I will definitely try both those sparklings, thank you! DH and I have both agreed we don't mind spending a bit more than usual on NA versions (which is insane that they can cost more imo) if it helps us hide it until we're ready!

Thanks! ♡

OP posts:

Original poster

LurkingWithTea · 14/10/2025 08:47

CaptainCabinets · 13/10/2025 22:21

I found out I was pregnant the morning I was due to meet my sister and cousins for bottomless brunch I told my sister instantly (literally FaceTimed her while I was still on the toilet, staring at the test in disbelief, just to make sure she was seeing what I was seeing!)

Anyway, she took charge of ordering me the fanciest-looking mocktails and our cousins didn’t suspect a thing. One of them even tried a sip of mine and declared that it was a very dangerous drink because she couldn’t even taste the alcohol I admitted it when I finally told them at 12 weeks! Maybe just put your DH in charge of your drinks? If offered a prosecco or something for a toast, just pretend to take a sip and then leave the glass somewhere. Sounds like your friends will probably all be too pissed to notice anyway!

Yeah, making sure DH or I make my own drinks as often as possible would mean I am drinking regularly, and then I should hopefully only have to secretly dispose of a handful! Or "hmm, this isn't sitting right, I might swap it for something else" which has happened in the past! And that's so good! Everyone loves a 'dangerous' drink 😂 Thanks ♡

OP posts:

Original poster

LurkingWithTea · 14/10/2025 08:50

Alpacajigsaw · 13/10/2025 22:28

I think you are probably overthinking it OP. I don’t drink at all now (4 years sober) but I used to worry about peer pressure and comments. People don’t care really as long as they can keep drinking.

I probably am... but I've been asked so many times already, and i just want DH and I to be the ones to tell people that I'm pregnant when we're ready, not have people declare it to me when they're ready... you know?

OP posts:

Wherethewildthings · 14/10/2025 08:52

You need to spell this out to friends and family now. If they are asking when you literally have a glass in your hand, they are not going to stop regardless of what you do.
"Hey guys, as you know DH and I do want kids at some point in the future, but we really really want to be the ones to tell you. So please don't guess and ask if I am pregnant - you'll all know as soon as we're able to tell people. In the meantime we're going to try and get healthy for whenever we decide it's time to start trying"

Original poster

LurkingWithTea · 14/10/2025 08:54

annlee3817 · 13/10/2025 22:31

I had a bottle of nosecco hidden in the fridge, and both my Mum and DH were in charge of keeping my drink topped up, I then pretended to be tipsy. To be honest as the pregnancy went on I realised that nosecco tasted nothing like fizz. The closest I got was Freixnet zero or a zero white wine mixed with soda water. No one noticed as they had all had a few. Any real ones then my DH did a casual switch. I had found out I was pregnant 5 days before Christmas, and typically we have a party on Xmas eve for my brother's birthday so was fretting a bit, but no one noticed.

That gives me a bit of hope! If I get pregnant easily, I probably will tell my mum before we go to theirs for Christmas, but if we're still TTC or really early along, then I would rather only DH and I know at the moment... I'll try your drink suggestions for definite, thanks! ♡

OP posts:

DappledThings · 14/10/2025 09:03

All this trying to sneak non-alcoholic drinks and excuses about antibiotics only adds fuel to the fire and encouraging more speculation.

If you genuinely don't want to be the subject of gossip or attention then don't do anything. Don't drink and if you are asked just be honest about wherever you are. So a quick yes, we are trying and trying to be careful or yes I am pregnant but it's really early so I don't want to get my hopes up and talk about it.

I don't believe anyone who genuinely wants to keep something quiet wants to engage in these pointless shenanigans.

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