Pros / Cons of Vaginal Birth or C-Section

[Amby99]

Since I found out that in the UK you can legally request a C-section, it’s become very appealing. I have a cousin that has had 2 C sections and never gave birth and she found it great.

I don’t have any issues or health reasons to not have a ‘natural birth’ but if I’m brutally honest, I’m just very concerned about what my vagina might become after giving birth.

Sorry to sound so crass but I’ve heard all these stories about your vagina feeling like ‘a hot dog in a corridor’…. And it might sound incredibly selfish but I’m worried I just won’t feel glamorous or sexy ever again. I’ll probably already need to lose weight PP and I just can’t find a clear cut answer as to whether your sex life can return back to normal if you have a vaginal birth. Is it enough that your partner notices? Is sex still enjoyable?? Do you ‘feel’ anything?

My partner actually wants and encourages me to have a natural birth so these insecurities aren’t coming from him but throughout my whole life you hear women joke about ‘once you give birth XYZ changes’ so I’m really worried about the lasting damage it will do. On the other hand, since I’ve been watching one born every minute, it seems like the most wholesome thing to give birth naturally and I’m not opposed to it at all. I’m not worried about the pain or the mess I’m just scared of the after effects.

when I told my midwife at my first antenatal appointment that I was considering C section she said there are risks and a lot of women change their mind. She did say if I want more children (which I do) then sometimes C section can pose a small risk or delay to that being possible

I guess I would like some genuine answers on how a vaginal birth altered your life in terms of sex. Sex of course isn’t our number one priority in life (especially now I’m pregnant) and I’m sure we will be ‘jigging ’ even less when baby is born but I guess it’ll still be nice to feel sexy. I’m 27 and so still feel like I want to be energetic and attractive post partum

Completely disagree with this.

Would it be acceptable for my to say "ive heard all people from country xx smell? I've heard stories they do"

No it would not

That's not what this is, though. OP is asking women to share their experiences about different birthing experiences. I don't think anyone is being slagged off for their choice or experience.

I had a cs for my baby who was breech. It was classed as an elective, planned in advance.
My cs wasn’t how I imagined or what I had seen on the tv.
I felt like I might throw up. I also had a terrible pain in my neck/shoulder which apparently is not common but can happen. I literally couldn’t turn my head to see my baby when he was born. There was no cuddles in the delivery room as I felt so awful (felt sick & shoulder pain)
I also suffered a haemorrhage after baby came out. I announced very loudly that I felt like I was going to faint and then I haemorrhaged. Lots of “firm talking” from the wonderful anethitist who had command of the room like a really calm sergeant major. She wasn’t shouting but was loudly giving instructions to all theatre staff.
They managed to get it under control and I was wheeled to recovery where I eventually got to cuddle my son but felt like I had been run over by a bus.
I was also sooo tired. I desperately tried to stay awake to see my son and get to know him (I had waited 10 years for him due to infertility) but I just couldn’t keep my eyes open.
I then went to a ward where I couldn’t get up and out of bed until the next morning.
I got discharged that morning at 11am. I had been in hospital for a total of 25 hours then was sent on my merry way.
Recovery was hard. My mum came to my house every single day for the 1st 4 weeks at 8am and left at 5pm to look after me & baby. Husband came in from work and took over when mum left. Husband works every day, we are farmers who have livestock so no chance of husband helping through the day when our animals need attention.
I have a high pain threshold. No medical procedures phase me (hello ivf) but I really struggled after my cs. I am fit & active and healthy weight but older first time mum (41)
So for me the cs & recovery was difficult & slow. Now though I feel lucky not to have had any birth injuries and no c section shelf or scar tissue. 2 years on and my body looks & feels almost the same.

I'm never sure about the claims that pregnancy is what messes up bladder control. All the women I know who can't run or jump had vaginal births.
I had CS's (medical reasons) am post menopause and can run and jump without a speck of a leak.

The first two months after a section are tough. But the risks seem to be more controlled. Probably better to have a section than a instrument assisted vaginal birth.

That has absolutely no relevance to what OP actually said 🤷‍♀️

It is absolutely relevant.
OP could have asked for the same information without being offensive.

She apologised several times for any offence caused and made it very clear it was not intended 🙄

You do realise that piling on shame and offence etc. is precisely why women don’t ask about this stuff. We need to talk about it, dispel the bullshit and communicate the realities so that women can make informed choices. Go and clutch your pearls elsewhere.

I've had one vaginal delivery, when I was twenty two which ended in rotational forceps and an episiotomy. I felt as if my insides were about to fall out for at least a week afterwards, I was batered, bruised and traumatised. I was offered a c section after thirty six hours of active labour but declined the offer as I had been brainwashed to think that c section was variously a failure, an unnecessary intervention and wholly undesirable.
My vagina after this looks perfect but it does feel 'wider' than it did before. No amount of kegels has ever fixed this feeling of it being wider as the issue isn't with the muscles which are very strong and I have no incontinence etc, it definitely altered the overall shape of my vagina though if I'm being candid.
It hasn't massively changed my enjoyment of sex . I just know that its not as narrow as it used to be.
That being said I did go on to have four further children, all via ELCS.
I dont have an overhang, I recovered well from each ELCS and was mobile four hours after each birth and was out pushing my pram three days later, in minimal pain compared to the vaginal birth.
I don't think you're anything other than sensible to consider the impact to your vagina, I wish I had accepted the offer of an EMCS with my first as the reality of that birth was rather brutal and I'd rather my vagina hadn't altered so much in shape.

Sorry, are you the same poster who commented this up thread:

Too bloody late. You seem like a complete airhead who is more concerned about her looks and her fanny than the new life about to emerge from her body.

Not quite sure you're the best person to be passing judgement on what's offensive.

Two standard vaginal births in my 30's, no assistance, no tears, no issues. I am now 59, mid menopausal, still no issues of prolapses or wee leakage or any any other gynae stuff. I'm obviously very lucky, but my DM was the same, so I think a lot is genetic. No stretch marks either .

I've had 5 vaginal births so sex definitely works. My husband doesn't seem to mine either.
Apart from my first birth, I was discharged after 6 hours and doing the food shop on the way home.
My sister has had 3 c-sections, recovered differently after each one. She also gave birth to her children or if not I'm going to be seriously questioning her about the three children who she has in her house.

Oh and I do a trampoline exercise class so can still jump! Giving birth affects everybody differently

@Pyjamasalldayplease, But the offence had already been caused.
@Xhxuxmx , a friend very nearly died in childbirth. The emergency c-section saved her baby's life and her life.

I pushed out an eight pounder. Still got a fanny that works.

I had 2 c-sections. The first one due to baby not growing and being breach, and the second because I had a good first c-section experience (and I was definitely wanting natural birth first time!). Both were fine, though recovery after the first one was easier. As I didn’t have any choice with my first c-section I didn’t research the risks and benefits, I just did what I had to do to get the baby out safely. Then I read in the ‘This is going to hurt’ book by a junior doctor that most female obstetricians choose c-sections themselves as it’s statistically safer for both baby & mother, so I went with it the second time too. Looking back I don’t feel I’ve missed out on anything (confirmed by my friends who gave birth naturally), but I realise my c-sections came with their own risks too and the pain after the surgery was a lot, so definitely not an easy way out.

I had an emergency c-section though was due to get a planned one anyway for medical reasons. I wish I could have had a natural birth as babies gets the mother’s microbes going through the birth canal which can mean they are less likely to have allergies and is great for their immune systems.

The birth part was not difficult but recovery from a section can be hard. I was in hospital for 5 days and being driven home I found every bump in the road so painful. I don’t have a very noticeable scar but, like others, I have a tummy pouch! If you plan on breast feeding there can be a delay in your milk coming in too - there were quite a few issues with breastfeeding for me, the baby had jaundice and I had to supplement with formula in the first two weeks and pump at regular intervals to increase supply. I don’t know if this would have happened regardless. I have a happy healthy toddler but she does have a lot of food intolerances and digestive issues which I do wonder if she would have had if I had been able to give birth naturally. I guess I’ll never know!

Yeah agreed. It’s like being karate chopped in the lower abdomen. Not pretty at all and I hate when some waistbands get ‘stuck’ in it.

OP many women who have c sections are still stretched and have a bit of incontenance and aren’t super tight - birth does that to you.

Your post is all about aesthetics and I’m here to tell you giving birth eill absolutely change your body - no getting around that. C sections are considered major abdominal surgery and shouldn’t be entered into lightly. I think you need to do some serious research:

You can’t help yourself can you? Once was a typo, this time is just your thinking.

Pros/Cons

Straight forward vaginal birth - over and done with in 12 hours. Several hours with manageable pain then you can crack on with the hard drugs, morphine etc 😃. Walk to ward once you're done and jump in the shower, bruised foof but Ibuprofen and Paracetamol covers it. Can probably head home within 24 hours.

But, difficult labour, mechanical intervention, stitches, bad tears could mean a long recovery time and your pelvic floor could be damaged.

C-Section, safe, no damage 'down there' but it is major surgery and you need to factor in recovery time. All surgery comes with risk but so does all child birth. Infections and scarring more likely. Harder to care for baby until your wound is healed.

I’ve had two unassisted vaginal deliveries (last one was 12 weeks ago). 2nd degree tears both times but the first was much worse than the second. Up and about straight away. I think it took a few months for sex to feel normal again after my first DC. This time it was normal after 8 weeks postpartum. We have had sex 3 times this week so far, all great.

My two cents (based on my own experience and that of the women close to me) is that an unassisted vaginal delivery is the best kind of delivery. Less likely to be complications, easier recovery etc. But (and it’s a big but!) - if you opt for a vaginal birth you have no idea how it’s going to go. It could be great, it could be awful. If you opt for a planned section, you are accepting a brutal recovery up front, but at least you are pretty sure of how it’s going to go and you aren’t risking an emergency section/serious birth injury.

My friend had her first baby 2 weeks after mine (so 10 weeks ago) and she had a 4th degree tear (literally hole to hole) and spent hours in theatre afterwards being stitched up. She’s still in a load of pain and has little control of her bladder. It’s going to be a long road to recovery for her. Luckily that tends to be pretty uncommon!

Just picking up on your thoughts about not feeling glamorous or sexy - will you feel glamorous and sexy with a big scar across your abdomen, running from hip to hip? Even if you're slim and lucky enough to avoid getting a c section pouch, you'll always have a big scar to try and hide. Mine is purple, itchy, and still hurts when the waistline of pants rubs on it, I have to wear horrible old lady knickers and high waisted trousers to minimise the pain.

So many defensive c section mothers! OP is correct - If you had a section you didn't "give birth" you had an operation to allow baby to be born..there's nothing at all wrong with it and it is something to be very proud of. But the term 'give birth ' relates to pushing the baby out.

I wouldn't be jumping at having a c section OP. It is major surgery and has implications on everything you do, driving, lifting etc. Most people are up and about a few hours after a vaginal birth.

28 years ago I crowned but my daughters shoulders got stuck on my pubic bone , they tried the forceps then the ventouse and eventually a emergency c section.
i was so bruised bodily.
i went on to have two more children both were deemed safer to have by c section.
so i feel I did give birth regardless and i went through waters breaking , contractions etc etc
c sections have do take recovery , it burns the first time you get up for example
weigh up the pros and cons op
and happy pregnancy and birth 🫶🏻

Speak for yourself. Mine was tighter after my first birth (ventouse and episiotomy) to the point where it took months to be able to have sex again. It’s different for everyone.