Pros / Cons of Vaginal Birth or C-Section

[Amby99]

Since I found out that in the UK you can legally request a C-section, it’s become very appealing. I have a cousin that has had 2 C sections and never gave birth and she found it great.

I don’t have any issues or health reasons to not have a ‘natural birth’ but if I’m brutally honest, I’m just very concerned about what my vagina might become after giving birth.

Sorry to sound so crass but I’ve heard all these stories about your vagina feeling like ‘a hot dog in a corridor’…. And it might sound incredibly selfish but I’m worried I just won’t feel glamorous or sexy ever again. I’ll probably already need to lose weight PP and I just can’t find a clear cut answer as to whether your sex life can return back to normal if you have a vaginal birth. Is it enough that your partner notices? Is sex still enjoyable?? Do you ‘feel’ anything?

My partner actually wants and encourages me to have a natural birth so these insecurities aren’t coming from him but throughout my whole life you hear women joke about ‘once you give birth XYZ changes’ so I’m really worried about the lasting damage it will do. On the other hand, since I’ve been watching one born every minute, it seems like the most wholesome thing to give birth naturally and I’m not opposed to it at all. I’m not worried about the pain or the mess I’m just scared of the after effects.

when I told my midwife at my first antenatal appointment that I was considering C section she said there are risks and a lot of women change their mind. She did say if I want more children (which I do) then sometimes C section can pose a small risk or delay to that being possible

I guess I would like some genuine answers on how a vaginal birth altered your life in terms of sex. Sex of course isn’t our number one priority in life (especially now I’m pregnant) and I’m sure we will be ‘jigging ’ even less when baby is born but I guess it’ll still be nice to feel sexy. I’m 27 and so still feel like I want to be energetic and attractive post partum

Sorry, I didn’t read to full post before replying. The answer is that the method of birth won’t affect shit regarding sex. It’ll be hormones, age and your perception of yourself that messes up your sex drive, if anything does. So the birth method isnt relevant to your question.
FWIW my sex drive hasn’t been impacted by five pregnancies and five births. It’s ebbed and flowed throughout my life, as it should. We have a reasonably active sex life I think, even though he’s away with work in the week we still manage a couple of times, with a 1 year old.
Do you know what will change your vagina and your enjoyment of sex? AGE. And you can’t stop that. So please try not to let this fear hold you back.

Thank you so much. That’s really interesting to know and I’m so sorry you had such poor aftercare. Everyone tells me that the NHS maternity is really good (tbh I’m not sure if after care falls under the same departments) so it’s definitely something I shall consider

I will add that my cousin lives in America and everything is private so perhaps she received a much better after care than we might on the NHS

I’ve given birth three times, all SVD. Babies were average sizes, 7-8lb. Small tear with the first one made things a bit sore for a few weeks, but the other two were OK. It was great to be up and about immediately. I actually walked home from hospital with baby in a sling after number three, because I felt fine and it was a lovely day.

Things seem fine down there (hence babies two and three, I suppose). I appreciate that I’ve been relatively lucky in my experience, but I was much more fearful of having major surgery than a vaginal delivery, and would only have chosen this if medically necessary. Everyone is different!

That is so true. I forgot about actual ageing… you’re right!

I had a VBAC and the vagibal birth was waaaaay easier. The vagina is a muscle so exercise (kegals) is what it needs. Mine snapped back like a trap door.

Could people stop giving OP a hard time, she already clarified that she didn’t mean to offend anyone and we are allowed to worry about changes of our body.

OP, I had a planned c section, this is my only baby so I can’t compare, but the section and the recovery were fine for me. I do have a small overhang from the section which I’m a bit self conscious about, that might be something to consider. But unfortunately there’s no easy way and also no way of knowing what will be better for you. I spent so many hours researching, asking for opinions, changing my mind, but the truth is that everybody’s experience is so different, you could have a straight forward vaginal birth and recovery or not, and you could find c section recovery easy or not…you need to go with what you feel most comfortable with and then just roll with it.

There are lots of MN threads about awful NHS maternity care, especially on postnatal wards.

May be worth checking your hospital’s policy on having someone to stay overnight with you on the ward if you have a c section. You won’t be able to move much or lift things, and it’s quite possible the staff won’t give you enough help.

You can still very much want your child, love them and be very devoted and also still want to feel good about yourself. They’re not mutually exclusive :)

I’ve had all vaginal. My mum had had both vaginal and c sections . She said c sections are worse because vsginal the pain. Only lasts for the labour however c section pain lasts for weeks. 🤷‍♀️

To be fair to Shakespeare, no women in the early 17th century would have survived their C-Section to argue the point.
Even fewer in Macbeth’s 11th Century Scotland.

I had an EMCS, I have a noticeable pooch that never shifted, my body never returned to my fit and healthy state, lasting effects of PGP, teeth and hair wrecked, massive weight gain, some minor pelvic floor dysfunction.

I was unprepared 😂

Pretty sure it caused some secondary infertility and some current complications too.

It’s not ever an easy option, despite what some may think.

My sister has got this notion in her head that it will be a better option for her first birth for a CS, I have advised her to think long and hard before she goes down this route.

As per a PP, I also planned for “anything goes” but avoid forceps if possible. They can be brutal.

No way to know what hand you’ll get dealt I guess, like anything in life.

My second is likely to be a second CS now due to position of the placenta. I refused a VBAC anyway so as to avoid another emergency situation.

I anticipate being worse off second go round.

Overall, everyone’s experience is different and as long as baby and mother are safe and well that’s all that counts in the end

I've done both. I found the c-sections wrecked my body far more than the vaginal births did but that could be because i had the c-sections last. My vagina is a bit looser than it was before but not much difference. Sex is the same as it was before, except we are more tired and we have less time.

It’s a major abdominal surgery, even though it’s common the surgery is cutting through multiple layers of muscle and skin. The internal stitches will take longer to heal and you will be advised not to lift anything heavy for 6 weeks, so of course it’s going to be longer than that before you’re back in the gym lifting weights etc! Think my gp advised at least 12 weeks to return to running and at first I had a lot of pain in my scar which put me off.

Thank you so much - that is so true. I guess I’ll just go with whatever feels best / comfortable for me at the time and not worry about the long term consequences because like you say, there is seemingly no way of knowing and everyone’s experience is different. That’s a very good way of looking at it

I had a planned section for medical reasons not an elective one.

If i were fit and healthy and 27 I would absolutely attempt a vaginal birth. I'd be doing as much pregnancy yoga and "open, forward and upright" as possible.

A C section - even a planned one with no other complications- is no walk in the park. The recovery is harder than an uncomplicated vaginal delivery and is has implications for conception, and delivery of future pregnancies.

You are overthinking it. Once you give birth, so much of your life changes and you have to learn to roll with it. Your sense of control is challenged. Just take advice from your medical team when the time comes. For my part, two natural births and my vagina is just fine.

And rightly so.

C section is not giving birth

Hot dog in a tunnel

Gross

Thank you so much for sharing your experience and I’m sorry to hear about potential secondary infertility. I will definitely think long and hard about it - like you say no one knows what I’ll be dealt with so best to not base it on other people’s experience and I should just make an informed decision as to what might feel best for me at the time.

thanks so much and good luck with your second child. Hoping for a much nice recovery for you X

I think you’re getting a tough time on here. I’ve had a VB that ended in forceps and an elective C section. Both birth experience and recovery were miles easier after c section but there’ll be loads of women who have had the opposite experience to me.
Every pregnancy is a lottery ticket for me, you get on the ride and it’s a bit of luck how it ends up. I had the CS as I wanted control after my first birth which wasn’t great. I’m glad I did VB the first time and I’m glad I did CS the second. On the specific vaginal recovery, I had great surgery/stitching aftercare after the forceps and didn’t suffer damage but wasn’t willing to go back and risk it a second time especially after recovery was rough from it. Pelvic floor is a bit weak but that’s from carrying two babies rather than birth.
I was older than you though and in your shoes I’d probably do VB and see how you go. Good luck in your pregnancy and congratulations!

@Cinai , if you only read the OP then you might be offended enough to not get past the 1st paragraph before replying.

Fully agree with this. Go with the flow and trust the medical staff to give you the best overall outcome for you and baby

So true. It’s menopause, not childbirth, that changes the vagina

Actually can be tighter after-from conversation with friends, most found no issues after as long as you do your kegels. For me, I wanted to be out of hospital asap, and involved with everything, which is usually more likely without a CS (if other people were out and driving home after a CS, fair enough, but the people I knew who had one took longer to recover). I also actually really enjoyed some of the labour time, without wanting to sound soppy, I loved the bonding with my partner, especially the early time at home. I found it fascinating, the experience-it's so strange how your body can change and how you feel in and out of those stages. I wouldn't have wanted it any other way, but I respect some people might prefer to just go to hospital ad get the CS, and that's their choice.

One that often doesn't get mentioned is people reporting numbness in the stomach/apron overhang-one friend complained a lot about it. I didn't think it looked as bad as she felt, but it's definitely not up to me to tell her how to feel.

One pro of a planned CS is knowing when it will happen.
Another is you're only allowed one person in the room, so no one else will try to get in (though you can refuse anyone for either type of birth, your choice!)
Another thing to consider is if you want more children-if you only want one, this is irrelevant, but a mw did tell me that she'd advise women to try for a vaginal birth if they wanted more, because there can be more issues. That said, I do know people who've got a few kids and had all CS, so while I'm not denying she's qualified and probably right on a population level, it certainly doesn't mean you can't have more.
Fact is, people who had a "good" vaginal birth will tell you that's better, and people who had a hard time will tell you the opposite (just like with the horror stories of CS going wrong)-but you'll never know which you'll have until you try, so for me, I decided to try, I feel I personally would have regretted never having the experience of labour (but if it had been especially difficult, I would have had planned CS for the second).

Every time I read threads about c-sections, I wish more people would make it clear whether they're sharing experiences of elective or emergency sections. Because they're completely different, the latter generally being much more painful and with a harder recovery.

Ultimately, both delivery methods have pros and cons. Someone having a vaginal birth could suffer a 3rd or 4th degree tear and not heal for months, someone who had a c section could get an infected incision etc

I had 2x ELCS and both times my experience was nothing short of wonderful. No pain. Easy recovery. No complications. You can generally lift your baby, and carry their car seat, and be self sufficient enough to care for your newborn by yourself, unless you suffer complications. It becomes a bit more difficult the second time around if you have a toddler to deal with too; you'll need a support system to manage.

My experience was very positive, and I've met lots of mums since I had my children who have had the same experience as me. I'm yet to meet anyone IRL who had a negative experience with ELCS, but have read some accounts online.

Good luck OP. Whatever you decide will be the right choice for you. Wishing you all the best.