Pros / Cons of Vaginal Birth or C-Section

[Amby99]

Since I found out that in the UK you can legally request a C-section, it’s become very appealing. I have a cousin that has had 2 C sections and never gave birth and she found it great.

I don’t have any issues or health reasons to not have a ‘natural birth’ but if I’m brutally honest, I’m just very concerned about what my vagina might become after giving birth.

Sorry to sound so crass but I’ve heard all these stories about your vagina feeling like ‘a hot dog in a corridor’…. And it might sound incredibly selfish but I’m worried I just won’t feel glamorous or sexy ever again. I’ll probably already need to lose weight PP and I just can’t find a clear cut answer as to whether your sex life can return back to normal if you have a vaginal birth. Is it enough that your partner notices? Is sex still enjoyable?? Do you ‘feel’ anything?

My partner actually wants and encourages me to have a natural birth so these insecurities aren’t coming from him but throughout my whole life you hear women joke about ‘once you give birth XYZ changes’ so I’m really worried about the lasting damage it will do. On the other hand, since I’ve been watching one born every minute, it seems like the most wholesome thing to give birth naturally and I’m not opposed to it at all. I’m not worried about the pain or the mess I’m just scared of the after effects.

when I told my midwife at my first antenatal appointment that I was considering C section she said there are risks and a lot of women change their mind. She did say if I want more children (which I do) then sometimes C section can pose a small risk or delay to that being possible

I guess I would like some genuine answers on how a vaginal birth altered your life in terms of sex. Sex of course isn’t our number one priority in life (especially now I’m pregnant) and I’m sure we will be ‘jigging ’ even less when baby is born but I guess it’ll still be nice to feel sexy. I’m 27 and so still feel like I want to be energetic and attractive post partum

I’ve had both. At 33, C-section was done well but had pains and sensitivity on scar area for a good 2 years and recovery was long. VBAC at 38 I tore 2 cm but healed well, recovery as to getting up and moving around was much shorter except vagina went back to normal shape in about one year where more, ahem, rigorous sex didn’t make me cautious. I think the whole “back to normal” is more likely if you’re a teenager than a 30-something year old like I was.

if I had to pick, I’d take vaginal birth for overall best recovery.

There are benefits to the baby of being born through the birth canal rather than by CS. That would be one of the factors I would consider when making that decision.
Editing to say that of course CS are life saving procedures and vital when needed.

Why didn't you use a surrogate mother, @Amby99 ?
No stretch marks, abdominal surgery or any stretching of the vagina that way.

So kind of you to point out that I didn't actually 'give birth' to my 2 DC.

Oh, and I’ve never looked at my vagina in the mirror. Couldn’t pick it out of a lineup if I tried. So not sure if it looks different. It felt the same about a year later.

Sadly, menopause did a number on it.

I will. And I’ll be very loving, caring and be sure that when they grow up they don’t have a personality that enables them to think it’s acceptable to call people ‘morons’ on the internet.

I had an Em.C Section not in labour and the recovery from that was dreadful but that was because of how seriously ill I was at the point of needing the surgery rather than the surgical recovery.

I then had an elective section and the recovery was easy. I went home the next day, needed nothing more than paracetamol and ibuprofen as pain relief, enjoyed Xmas dinner with family 4 days later and drove after a couple of weeks (could have driven sooner but middle of a bad winter with snow and ice).

Nothing is guaranteed either section of vaginal birth!

If you read my comments, I said it was a typo and mismatch of words and said I was very sorry for any offence.

Haha! No of course I don’t think I’ll ever be putting up a mirror to it either. Thank you for your insights re a year later… good to know :)

I had two C sections and I don't feel like I "gave birth", maybe this is also how OP's friend felt.

And while I tried to have a vaginal birth both times I was also worried about long term effects on the vag which is a totally reasonable concern!

OP a C section will also have a permanent effect on your body, I have keloids and adhesions and diastasis recti. There's no easy way to have a baby unfortunately!

My pelvic floor was weak for ages after my csection and I also still found sex quite painful which is apparently normal. Fact is pregnancy hugely changes your body at least for the short term.

I had a planned csection because my baby was very small however I wish I had got to experience a vaginal birth. I found the csection recovery straightforward but still difficult, I couldn’t bend much or do anything for my baby for a while afterwards.

If you want children there are repercussions of multiple sections. Each one gets more risky.

I wouldn’t just choose a section to keep my bits intact to please my husband!

I have had two vaginal births - one with ventouse and one unassisted.

Pro’s for me were I was able to walk to the ward after both. I was personally terrified of having a c-section as I didn’t want the recovery time or pain. I got relief from the birth almost immediately and physically recovered fairly quickly.

In terms of what I’m like after kids, there isn’t much difference. I had to be stitched after my first so there is a slight difference to look at it but otherwise it’s pretty much gone back to what it was. Our sex life is better since having kids, it doesn’t automatically get worse just because you have a baby. My SIL told me everything goes back to normal and I never believed her until mine did the same.

Nobody knows what is going to happen when it comes to birth but if it isn’t medically necessary I personally wouldn’t opt ahead for a caesarean.

Thank you for your insight and validating my concerns. I truly didn’t mean to offend anyone with that comment. I just meant a ‘vaginal birth’… carrying a baby and delivering it 9 months later is ‘giving birth’ no matter the circumstances x

The gross hot dog/ corridor analogy? In my experience that offensive crap is usually spouted by idiotic immature teenage boys or young men talking about either women who have given birth or women who have slept with more men than the idiots deem acceptable. I’ve always assumed that they haven’t really understood that the vagina is a tube of muscle.
OP, it takes a bit of time after birth for your pelvic floor and abdominal muscles to return to their pre-pregnancy positions. Usually a few weeks. And you’ll want to do some pelvic floor exercises and abdominal strengthening exercises (think Pilates not crunches) once you’ve recovered from the birth. But vaginal birth does not automatically ruin sex. It didn’t for me. I’ve had two large babies, one birth required an episiotomy and the other caused a small tear. Both times the stitches healed quickly and caused no lasting issues. I don’t feel hugely different or look hugely different to how I did pre-pregnancies.

Yes I agree it’s so gross which is why I said ‘sorry to sound crass’ and I did put the hotdog analogy in quotes suggesting that belief wasn’t coming from me. Like you say, just immature men (no one close to me) but with social media nowadays it’s hard not to come across comments like that!

thank you so much for your advice though -I will definitely consider it and it actually looks like there are more risks in terms of recovery and actually spending time with baby after a C section. Thank you!

I’m a mother of five. I had my last baby at age 44 and they requested that we delivered at 37 weeks vis section. Worst thing I ever did regarding my body. Why are you worried about your vagina? Vaginas are designed to birth babies.

I had two vaginal births - first one I had a tear but it healed quickly. Last baby was over 10 years ago and I’ve had no problems at all - usual tightness that I’ve always had and no differences. I did have them in my mid 20s though which may have made a difference to recovery / long term problems

I also found it more difficult to lose weight after my section because I wasn’t as mobile as friends who have given birth vaginally. Even though I was getting out for walks etc it took me a while to feel recovered enough for proper exercise. Friends who gave birth vaginally were back running within 6 weeks.

Thank you! Yes you said it - so true. Thanks for that perspective. They really are designed for babies. From everyone’s comments I will really consider a vaginal birth. When I told my mum I was considering a C section she was so shocked and encouraged me to want to give birth

I've only had one baby and it was a vaginal birth. I tore a little and so had stitches but felt totally back to normal in my body about a week after the baby. Sex feels great now although didn't really until my periods returned (around 18 months) so I think that was hormone related. I was really scared of a c-section as my partner is disabled and my friends who had emergency c-sections seemed to need a lot of support for a while after the baby (this seemed like much less of an issue with the planned c sections so I assume the combo of labouring and then a c section is a big contributor).

I really wanted to just experience giving birth to be honest! I think this will be my only child.

Oh really? That’s so interesting. Everyone’s experiences are so different. It is important for me to try and get back into a routing of exercise after the baby is born so that’s defo something to consider

Shakespeare thought women who had c sections hadn't given birth iirc

People who are touchy about this are ridic

I’ve only had c sections but I think you may need to acknowledge that the bits before and after the birth may also impact your body in ways you don’t anticipate.

Pregnancy has a massive impact. Many women change shape permanently. Breats become ‘saggier’ due to the change in muscle tone at the top of them.

One thing I had no idea about was pregnancy hormones increasing risk of gallstones. I had to have my gallbladder removed because of this, which causes its own digestive problems.

Oh and my hair fell out twice.

Don’t stress over the wording you used. It’s quite clear it wasn’t meant offensively.

I had to have a planned C-Section due to a low placenta but otherwise an extremely healthy pregnancy, tiny scar, straight forward section. However internally things are….different. Sex is more painful since a c-section, there is discomfort sometimes where I assume the internal stitches were. The numbness and nerve pain externally finally died down recently after 2 years but that was quite unpleasant. The recovery was straightforward but certainly not a walk in the park. I did receive hideous aftercare though and the hospital I gave birth in has atrocious post elective c-section care. (Which I was unaware of at the time) so that probably didn’t help.

Looking to try for DC2 soon and I’m desperately hoping for a vaginal birth next time over another c-section.

Too bloody late. You seem like a complete airhead who is more concerned about her looks and her fanny than the new life about to emerge from her body.