Pros / Cons of Vaginal Birth or C-Section

[Amby99]

Since I found out that in the UK you can legally request a C-section, it’s become very appealing. I have a cousin that has had 2 C sections and never gave birth and she found it great.

I don’t have any issues or health reasons to not have a ‘natural birth’ but if I’m brutally honest, I’m just very concerned about what my vagina might become after giving birth.

Sorry to sound so crass but I’ve heard all these stories about your vagina feeling like ‘a hot dog in a corridor’…. And it might sound incredibly selfish but I’m worried I just won’t feel glamorous or sexy ever again. I’ll probably already need to lose weight PP and I just can’t find a clear cut answer as to whether your sex life can return back to normal if you have a vaginal birth. Is it enough that your partner notices? Is sex still enjoyable?? Do you ‘feel’ anything?

My partner actually wants and encourages me to have a natural birth so these insecurities aren’t coming from him but throughout my whole life you hear women joke about ‘once you give birth XYZ changes’ so I’m really worried about the lasting damage it will do. On the other hand, since I’ve been watching one born every minute, it seems like the most wholesome thing to give birth naturally and I’m not opposed to it at all. I’m not worried about the pain or the mess I’m just scared of the after effects.

when I told my midwife at my first antenatal appointment that I was considering C section she said there are risks and a lot of women change their mind. She did say if I want more children (which I do) then sometimes C section can pose a small risk or delay to that being possible

I guess I would like some genuine answers on how a vaginal birth altered your life in terms of sex. Sex of course isn’t our number one priority in life (especially now I’m pregnant) and I’m sure we will be ‘jigging ’ even less when baby is born but I guess it’ll still be nice to feel sexy. I’m 27 and so still feel like I want to be energetic and attractive post partum

First natural birth was unpleasant as expected, 2nd degree tear but healed quickly noticed no difference. Midwife led unit was lovely. Was sore for a while but I was only given paracetamol.
second birth, bigger baby, bigger damage, but I got stronger painkillers and felt almost no soreness once back home. More damage meant I was put on a shared ward post stitching which alone is enough to put me off a c section. Worst nights sleep of my life.
I don’t look great second time round, as the tear repair meant I can see more of the lumpy bits inside. but, if I’m honest, I look at my stomach a lot more than I look at my vagina so I’ll get over it. Gynaecologist said it’s normal.
my advice is if baby isn’t showing as huge, and there’s no talk of induction or anything being risky, try natural just for the recovery benefits. Credit to any c section moms, the recovery sounds rough.

My emergency section left me with ptsd and I’m still trying to get over it with counselling. The comment about not giving birth is really offensive.

Id never chose to have a section after what I went through. Obviously everyone has different experiences but mine was horrific and the recovery was awful. 15 months later my stomach is a mess and I have pains around my scar, great big solid lumps of scar tissue and random nerve damage all over the place.

I have 5 DC. 4 natural, 1 EMCS. I recovered quickly and without complications from them all, I was up and about the same day as my ECS. I had 4 big babies (natural) and a titchy one (CS). My DC5 was my section so the damage to my nether regions may well have already been done, but I cant say I have noticed, and DH has never complained. What I have been left with after my CS is a lovely 'shelf' over my scar.

I had an epidural and forceps plus an episiotomy. Sex was the last thing on my mind whilst breastfeeding but when it did return, I felt no difference physically.

Shrug either way. It's better than giving birth I can't believe how many women are insane about the classification.

OP, you will be really lucky if you get the choice. The first thing to do with a birth plan is write in very big letters at the top “IN AN IDEAL WORLD.” Many, many things can happen between now and birth that will take the choice away from you. And I don’t say that to scare you, because it doesn’t need to be scary if you prepare.
I had an emergency section, it wasn’t even slightly stressful, recovery was fine. I have a pouch, however I am back to my pre pregnancy weight and fitness regime less than a year later, and most importantly, DC is great. Can’t knock it at all.
I know many, many women who had vaginal births and are not in the condition that I’m in.
We are all still alive and have health babies and that is what matters.
Honestly, you are far better devoting your time and energy to thinking about how you might want to care for baba in either scenario, how you will care for yourself in either scenario, who will advocate for you both, how will you want to feed. Do your research on these things. And then when the big day arrives, roll with the punches and see where you end up.

You’ll be fine either way xx

Oh and my cousin had twins, baby a was natural birth then baby b wouldn’t budge and had to be delivered via c section.
she said vaginal birth was the “better” birth and recovery

I had forceps assistance with an episiotomy after a very long labour. Avoided an emergency C-section very narrowly. I'd been terrified of forceps beforehand, but actually it was fine.

DH says he can't tell the difference. I CAN tell it's not the same down there - tampons and cups don't work anymore - but during sex it feels normal to me too now. Certainly didn't feel right after six weeks, I think it took about six months? And my body in general only felt back to normal after two years.

Me again - just to push the point one more time; OP and anyone else considering an elective C-section, please be aware when reading some of these comments that many of the more difficult experiences posters have kindly shared are about emergency c-sections which are a different beast entirely. The entire process is completely different, the baby is taken out at speed, there will already have been complications, and generally labour will have been progressing for a while. This all amounts to more pain, a more difficult recovery and a higher chance of longer term issues.

Totally different from an elective c-section.

Another here for gallstones! I was hospitalised at 8 weeks post partum and got the gallbladder taken out a week later.

I feel like you’re very naive. Women who’ve had csections have also “given birth”, it’s not an easy way out it’s major abdominal surgery with risks and a lengthy recovery.

I had a vaginal birth, had 2 stitches and 2 years on it looks exactly the same as it did before I had DD. As a woman you should know that it’s a muscle so “throwing a hot dog down an alley” is ridiculous and quite vile tbh.

Did you read the post you quoted?

I had a breach baby. Declined to have him
turned and had a planned c section. 18
months later I had an elective c section with second .

pros- my births were incredible and calm, no tears and I knew when the births would be .

negatives- I didn’t have a third child as I was told it is risky to have 3 c sections . It was a lot longer operation and recovery second time around and I have a c section bump which I can’t get rid of no matter how much weight I lose ! It’s just a little bump ! Not massive but it’s scar tissue xxx

I was very set on an elective section, I didn’t think it would be in any way possible for me to have a vaginal birth. I was 41 with a first baby, GD, consultant led, utterly terrified of pain and damage. My mum had 2 EMCS and I was convinced that would be me.

I had a 6.5hr spontaneous labour, no epidural as no time and no damage. Didn’t even hurt to have a wee after and I was bouncing off the walls. It fecking hurt though, I genuinely thought I’d die from the pain (baby was partially back to back). But as soon as DD was out it vanished and I had the best recovery. Wouldn’t change it for the world now, and very glad I decided to try.

My birth plan was induction (due to the GD and age) all the drugs and straight to CS of I didn’t progress as I was terrified of forceps.

Actual birth was failed induction, spontaneous short labour with instant continuous contractions and only gas and air with 1 small shot pethidine as I was freaking out when they said no epidural possible. That calmed me down. It wasn’t pretty but it was incredible and I have felt like superwoman ever since. Very empowering.

My sister had 3 children my other sister had 2 and both said the same their lady parts went back to normal but it was never the same as it was.

I’ve had two VBs, both with a 2nd degree tear that I had stitches for. The recovery was super easy, didn’t have to take a single painkiller once home, or do any of this ‘weeing into a bath to help with stinging’ recovery methods thankfully.
Can’t say I’ve noticed any difference in tightness either. It feels the same as it always did, although the first few times after the births were always a bit odd feeling. (For me, not DH).
I imagine a C Section to be incredibly difficult recovery in comparison to what I had to deal with, and honestly am in awe that women manage to care for their baby after having one. I 100% would not choose to have a CS unless it was a safety/medical aspect.

In my experience after care for the Mum on the NHS is non-existent. The baby got checked but I got pretty much nothing. I ended up paying to see a physio who specialises in the pelvic floor and abdomen.

I had a very difficult first birth. It was vaginal, needed forceps, I had an episiotomy and also tore. I was unlucky in the way that these things all coincided and I ended up with a very long recovery (at least a year). Sex afterwards was very painful and I had scar tissue which would often pull. I did seek medical advice and managed to get pregnant and give birth vaginally again. There were no issues giving birth and the medical team afterwards took some time to repair the original episiotomy which has eased a lot of the issues. Sex now is absolutely fine, doesn't feel any different.

I think from my own and friends' experiences, things can happen and there are no guarantees that one way is better than the other. But, even if things do go wrong in your recovery, there can be medical help with this and it can improve

Here's my two cents, and I think all your questions/ worries are valid! I have had one vaginally birth, over 17 years ago. I don't know whether it looks different down there but I didn't notice any specific change once I'd recovered. I've never had a comment from any partners since then regarding sex feeling any different compared to women who haven't experienced vaginal birth, and I've definitely been with guys for whom I was the first mum they'd been with. From my perspective, sex now (late 30s) is generally better and more enjoyable than its ever been before 🤷‍♀️

Thank you so much - that’s very reassign to know x

I ended up with an episiotomy and forceps and still tore in two other places, couldn’t sit down for weeks, it’s 4 years later and it still hurts to have sex and I pretty much tear every time - I also struggle with self lubrication now we always have to use lube and this is something I never had a problem with till after birth, they’ve told me there’s nothing they can do to help unless I want to get an OP which they couldn’t guarantee would fix it - I’ve got tons of scar tissue. My niece has had 2 operations so far to try and correct her episiotomy and it seems it’s quite common at my mums group to still have issues.

Not that my experience should convince you one way or another, you have to do what’s best for you- nobody can promise a particular outcome either way.

OP was specifically asking what’s the deal with that horrible analogy, and is there any reason to worry about it. Perfectly valid. In fact a GOOD thing for someone to ask about and get actual realistic information on, instead of letting their decisions be steered by misogyny and ignorance.

I had a vaginal birth (forceps) and c-section just over 2 years later, my comment to my friend the first time I saw her was ‘ how anyone can elect to go through that is beyond me’

However friends who had elected did feel differently so as someone said previously elected and emergency sections are very different.

I had an EMCS and was up and about after 6 hours. I hadn't done much research on c sections but just felt like I needed to be up and out of bed.

Despite it being an emergency, my recovery was really good which i'm grateful for. I did have to take some anti blood clot injections for 6 weeks but other than that no complications. Bleeding stopped after about 2 weeks and I was back being intimate by week 3.

No noticeable changes to my vagina. I do have a c section pouch but it has gone down considerably since losing weight. With underwear on you can't really tell.

The only change i have noticed since giving birth is discomfort around my tailbone which occurs when doing specific exercises. After 4 years I've still not bothered to get it checked out though.

All the best.

OP all I will say having had two vaginal births not a stitch or tear and zero issues, my vagina is perfectly fine and. I didn’t notice any difference at all after recovery… but women like me just simply don’t talk about it, so you have a big bias in the stories you have been hearing, the women who are absolutely fine tend to keep quiet, I think from lack of it being an issue and also not to really upset or disregard the women who have injury’s or suffered.

Had it been an emergency I would have taken the C-section but I wouldn’t elect given the recovery time and muscle damage etc, it’s a huge operation that’s minimised by the medical world, as women are expected to just get on with it, with low dose drug, having had a few surgeries I’m astounded that women with C-sections are back home so soon and caring for a baby. Hats off to you all I’m not sure I’d have been so great.