Feeling so guilty about disappointment after gender scan

[gollyimholly]

We are expecting our second DC and have just found out today it's going to be a boy. I feel terrible about feeling so disappointed. We have a 2 year old little girl and I didn't realise how much I wanted a little sister for her. I have a sister and we are so close and I suppose I really wanted that for DD.

DH has a sister and they barely speak. My DF is estranged from his sister. My SIL (brother's wife) says she wishes she had a sister as she sees how close our family is because my sister and I organise lots of family centric gatherings etc. I really don't think I can try for another after this as this baby was already unplanned. I really really wasn't expecting to feel so disappointed and I am feeling so awful and guilty.

Please can you lovely mums and dads tell me positive stories about your one girl, one boy families?

I have a girl and a boy. They were really close as young kids. Dd is 12 and going through all the hormonal stuff so doesn’t always get on with her 10 year old brother BUT they are still quite close

It’s like winning the lottery having one of each - and I too couldn’t imagine having a boy as we were all girls in our family - my DF insisted we had a male dog to hide his disappointment. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking you are ever in control of something you clearly are NOT, unless you are going to pay for gender selection. Additional bonus: my son has brought me a beautiful and kind DP and also her whole family into my life who have embraced me and we all love one another. They have also brought my first Grandog into my life - my little baby Golden Retriever, my baby cloud on legs. My DD was an arse from 12-19; DS remained a loving as he’s always been. It’ll be ok.

Ffs you have a healthy baby

From experience, you won't be upset when baby comes. Scans are sad really because nobody ever gets upset when the baby actually arrives.
It's ok to feel disappointed now but it won't last.

We’ve got two girls and a boy. The eldest girl and the boy are inseparable at 10 and 11. The two girls aren’t keen on eachother so far. You can’t really predict these things

Before having my first boy, I lost two children (two separate pregnancies) - a boy and a girl. I was certain my second child would be a girl from just a ‘feeling’ I had and all of the old wives tales and I felt so happy to be having one of each. 20 week scan shock! Baby is definitely a boy. I was stunned and silent. Walked out of the room, burst into tears and explained to my husband why I wanted a girl. The disappointment only lasted 5 minutes. I think a lot of the time children are close because of the way they’re raised and they’re character. I know plenty of friends with siblings of the same sex who don’t get on!

It’s a female dominated forum. A male forum would read very differently. In fact there is lots of research to show that men are far more likely to leave the family unit if their offspring are solely female.

My daughter is 27 and my son is 21 and they are really close. They were brought up in a close family so isn’t an issue.
I was so pleased when I was told he was a boy as we then had one of each we then went on to have another daughter. All 3 of my kids are close so don’t worry to much.

It’s always a boy when these threads come up 😞.

Me and my youngest brother are the best of friends ❤️ honestly, I don't think sibling closeness is related to gender.

My brother is my best friend

My sister hated me from the moment she clapped eyes on me! With my DC's. first was a girl, miscarried the next sadly so did not care about gender when I got pregnant again, and had a boy. They are both adults now and have always been the best of friends.

We got a boy after a girl (age 3) and I too grew up up with a sister and until he was born I really wasn’t sure about it, I’m not a boy Mum at all but oh my gosh he’s absolutely amazing! Whilst his sister is independent, a drama queen and very sassy, he is so incredibly cuddly, he’s got such a sweet nature and just a joy to be around. Yes he’s a terror at climbing but he gets away with it because he’s such a delight.
I still wonder what it will be like when he’s 3,4,5 etc. and how I’ll cope with monster trucks and football Sundays but I also look forward to raising a well mannered and respectful young man too.

Also forgot to say, I worried about my girl not having that sister relationship I had but I then thought about the stronger relationship we’ll have together, we don’t need to share our female bond with anyone else, me and my girl will have our own pact, get to have mum and daughter time just one to one. That can be exciting too!

It’s all in the way you are raised and personality. I have a sister and don’t speak to her. I have 3 boys and they are so affectionate and caring with me and I hope whoever they may end up with in life is treated the same way by them (they better do! 😅). My husband is one of 4 and has 3 sisters and they don’t speak that often, partly because he is from Australia and has lived here in the UK for 20 years almost. They care, they just don’t communicate. But there’s no hate there at all. Every family is different.

Don't worry...
I have a sister.... there 20 months between us...
We are not close but I love her but would gladly kill her.... we have nothing in common and never did the sistery girly stuff together...
I also have a brother with almost 7 years between us.... and even less in common.... him even breathing when we were growing up indicated a death wish....
I'd gladly kill for either now after over 50 years and we all still have nothing in common except a mother who wanted us to have a cuddley, lovey dovey, textbook relationship

With respect, some of us were never lucky enough to give our kids a sibling. My DD would love a brother but it never happened. Be bloody grateful!

My sister and I had an amazing childhood. She was 5 years older than me and I looked up to her; she was always super nice to me. We are still very close today.