Too old to have a baby age

[svg23]

This has been done to a thousand times but when is the tipping point between being quite old to have a baby and being too old...

I had just turned 40 when I had my now 1 year old child, after a pretty long fertility battle. I’m very lucky. I’m no ultra-marathoner (haha) but in average health - and I don’t feel particularly old. I don’t feel hugely different to when I was 30 - a bit more tired with a young child but most people are! I definitely couldn’t party like I used to (and don’t want to now anyway!) but I don’t need to get a stena stairlift fitted just yet…!

my mum was 39 when she had me and, as a teenager, I didn’t really think about her age or felt our dynamic was much different to anyone else’s. I think we can overthink some of these things. All anyone can sensibly do is look at their personal situation, their health, their boundaries and values, and make a decision (if they are lucky enough to be able to).

I would say early 30s, physically, I think

I had mine when I was aged 19, 22 and 25, I got sterilised immediately at 25, then I knew there was no way I would have another when older, even if I changed my mind, which I never did

I am now 55 and not in the best of health, I could not have coped with kids when older, glad I had them young

30 was my upper age limit - my parents who were older parents both died before I was 24, so I wanted to minimise the chance of that happening to my kids.
I don’t really care what anyone else does, but I’d encourage anyone with dependant children to have generous life insurance - you never know what fate has in store.

Statistically it’s when you hit menopause, no longer have periods and cannot have children so 45-50. The risk of miscarriage and disabilities increases with age too after 35 years old.

Now if you want my opinion for my life:

In my late teens/early 20’s I said I wanted both my kids before turning 30 because I didn’t want to be “too old”

I did have my son at 27 after a loss (other wise I would of been 26) but I’m now early 30’s and we’re thinking of having another soon - I can confirm, 30 is definitely not “too old” what was I thinking!

35 would probably be cut off for me personally.

Statistically it’s when you hit menopause, no longer have periods and cannot have children so 45-50. The risk of miscarriage and disabilities increases with age too after 35 years old.

Now if you want my opinion for my life:

In my late teens/early 20’s I said I wanted both my kids before turning 30 because I didn’t want to be “too old”

I did have my son at 27 after a loss (other wise I would of been 26) but I’m now early 30’s and we’re thinking of having another soon - I can confirm, 30 is definitely not “too old” what was I thinking!

35 would probably be cut off for me personally.

I had DD at 26, I'm 31 just turned and if I don't have another by 34 I won't have another.

really don't want to be a new mum in late 30s let alone 40s and (madness) 50s.

This certainly is the message that is drummed into us and it's really hard not to internalise it and become really fearful. There's also all these reports about how deadly loneliness is (worse than smoking 15 cigarettes a day etc). It's really hard not to visualise anything other than a lonely future and then eventually a sad lonely death. I feel really depressed about my future and like there is absolutely nothing to look forward to. I want to feel differently, but it's hard to, and maybe I am being realistic? With absolutely no family to look out for me in old age, I do stand a good chance of being extremely lonely and perhaps even abused in a care home.

I had my last baby as 36. Fell pregnant several times after that but sadly no further children. Last time I fell pregnant I was 44. I am 45 now and def feel too old now. Had my first at 25. That was too young for me but that’s for a different thread..

Not sure whether this thread is just about mothers, but if not, what age do people think is too old for men to become fathers? I know lots of men in early-mid 40s who are now thinking seriously about it.

I’m mid-30s and in a relatively new relationship. Not possible for us to start TTC for another 2 years (due to circumstances I won’t get into) when I’ll be late 30s. Not that we’d want to do it sooner given we’re still getting to know one another. Anyway I think we’ll probably try until I’m 42 then call it a day if it doesn’t happen.

It’s so personal. I had 1st at 39. I had my second at 41 and I turned 42 a couple of months later. He’s 7.5 months now and it’s tiring with him and a toddler!

That said, I probably do have one more pregnancy in me and have recently been strangely convinced (paranoid) that if we had an oops we’d be unlucky and catch straight away. It would be just bloody typical because we want to stick at two and we actually tried (and suffered a few sad losses) to get them.

for me

woman around 42-44 (depending on health)
men around 45 (depending in health)

just because of more risks etc and would prefer for my children to be adults by the time I retire which would hopefully by 65 latest.

edit: added the brackets for clarity

To add I don’t think I will ever lose that broody feeling. At 45 I still dream of being pregnant and having a newborn to bring me so much joy. Saying that I have a soon to be 20 year old and know it’s my time to stop imagining what if at 45. I will always have that yearning I feel….

Like everyone says, its very personal.
For me it's 40. I was pregnant at 29, 31 and 34. The difference between 29 and 34 was big - I struggled alot the last pregnancy. I don't know if I would cope with double that again if I chose another pregnancy after 40.
I also don't think my body would cope with the multiple miscarriages and still birth now like it did when I was 31-34.

Menopause surely? That’s nature’s way of telling you. Anything else is just personal preference (and people have totally different emotional, mental and physical abilities at all ages so I’m not sure you can compare).

My personal preference would be no earlier than late 30s, but we are all different.

I'm not too old until my body won't do it anymore. I chose to have mine early though.