Page 3 | Social services

Louiee11 · 2025-02-05T18:52:18+00:00

So need advice I am 38 weeks pregnant I was honest to ss about a situation but they found more lies out and now know who the baby’s father is too , they have said about a legal meeting is needed I’m now worried what’s going to happen any advice please

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Completelyjo · 05/02/2025 20:30

I thought it was your friend?

SleepDeprivedButAlive · 05/02/2025 20:30

OP without being outing I know someone who has had a child removed and a new child put on the child protection register at birth and came off child protection less than a year later with no concerns. 3 meetings total - one before the baby was born, one about three months in and one at 6 months when the child was taken off CP.

If you engage with the services (midwives, health visitor, ensure you're repaying debt to priority bills, doctors etc and make sure you cut all contact with people who are concerning it CAN be done and it is NOT hopeless.

Obviously we don't know the full details so can't advise in full but I promise you it's not too late. The CP register to make sure the baby is well but they can come off!

IncaDove · 05/02/2025 20:33

OP, there are a lot of genuine, un judgmental and helpful people on this site. But you need to be completely honest about what happened in the past and the reasons they are concerned now. Without that, nobody can really help.

IncaDove · 05/02/2025 20:35

OP, are you the person who has started contact with a ‘mate’ that is in prison? On that thread you were trying to work out how to do this without SS finding out. This alone would ring alarm bells. You need to step back from this man

InfoSecInTheCity · 05/02/2025 20:35

@Louiee11 they need to make a decision on what is safest for your unborn child based on the risk profile that you present.

you had a baby when you were 16 and were unable to care for them leading to that child being removed from your care due to neglect. They have lived with their father since then.
you now have supervised visits with your 9yr old at their home.
you are now having a second child, as a single parent who has previously struggled to cope with parenting alone.
while heavily pregnant you made the decision to make contact with someone you had been out of contact with for a while, there was no good reason to make contact, you just decided to. That person is a drug dealer, currently in prison and due to be released this year. You have been in daily contact with that person and made the active decision to hide this information from Social Services who you knew would not be happy about it because of the history with your other child.

I would expect that your risk score/status is high, you seem to almost be trying to self-destruct. I don't know what support you have in real life but you need to find a way to better understand why you make the choices you do.

Tubetrain · 05/02/2025 20:37

@Louiee11 unless you say what the issues are, you won't get any decent advice

ThatUniqueKoala · 05/02/2025 20:38

Where are people getting Information that OP is visiting a drug dealer in prison?

Either way, you're hiding things from SS, you've already had a child removed from your care and it sounds as though this baby should also be removed.

Olivepearl · 05/02/2025 20:38

social services will likely have a child protection conference and decide whether your baby needs to be on the child protection register. You should be invited to that meeting. The legal meeting they may be referring is likely a public law outline meeting which is the start of initiating care proceedings. They are probably concerned about the father and your ability to effectively safeguard your child and protect them from significant harm. I’m assuming you’ve already had a level of involvement and haven’t been entirely truthful with them. It might be difficult, but I would recommend that going forward, you are honest and put the needs of your child first, before your own and before the fathers. Work with them and let them help you and your child. Call your social worker tomorrow and ask them to explain the legal meeting to you.

Completelyjo · 05/02/2025 20:40

ThatUniqueKoala · 05/02/2025 20:38

Where are people getting Information that OP is visiting a drug dealer in prison?

Either way, you're hiding things from SS, you've already had a child removed from your care and it sounds as though this baby should also be removed.

Her other thread.

SnoopysHoose · 05/02/2025 20:41

Is this regards your previous thread of phone calls to a convicted drug dealer who is in prison?
You refused to listen to any advice on that thread and claimed it was your friend.

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 05/02/2025 20:43

ThatUniqueKoala · 05/02/2025 20:38

Where are people getting Information that OP is visiting a drug dealer in prison?

Either way, you're hiding things from SS, you've already had a child removed from your care and it sounds as though this baby should also be removed.

The information about the man in prison who is a Class A drug dealer is on the OP's other threads.

IncaDove · 05/02/2025 20:49

The worst thing is, simply being friends with a drug dealer wouldn’t mean having her baby taken away. There has to be more that she isn’t telling us.

OP, please makes the most of any support you are offered. There is so much SS can do to help you if you let them and work with then. Both you and your baby are worth more than anything this man can offer you. Put yourself and you baby first.

Original poster

Louiee11 · 05/02/2025 20:53

TwigletsAndRadishes · 05/02/2025 20:24

They went through your phone? Are social services even allowed to go through your phone? Were the police involved? There is obviously something quite serious going on here.

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No police wasn’t involved they went through phone to see a message and ended up looking through more messages between other people

OP posts:

Original poster

Louiee11 · 05/02/2025 20:54

IncaDove · 05/02/2025 20:49

The worst thing is, simply being friends with a drug dealer wouldn’t mean having her baby taken away. There has to be more that she isn’t telling us.

OP, please makes the most of any support you are offered. There is so much SS can do to help you if you let them and work with then. Both you and your baby are worth more than anything this man can offer you. Put yourself and you baby first.

There is not contact since Saturday with the drug dealer , I haven’t been honest about who the father was till they found out today and that’s all and now they see it as risks so there putting baby on a cp plan and having a legal meeting to see whether I can have baby with me still or not

OP posts:

IncaDove · 05/02/2025 20:57

Louiee11 · 05/02/2025 20:54

There is not contact since Saturday with the drug dealer , I haven’t been honest about who the father was till they found out today and that’s all and now they see it as risks so there putting baby on a cp plan and having a legal meeting to see whether I can have baby with me still or not

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Saturday is only a few days ago. You will have to show them over a much longer period of time that you are having no contact with him.

What else is going on? Is the father of this baby a risk? Simply not telling SS who the father is is not enough to trigger this response from them.

You have to be honest with yourself and with them.

IncaDove · 05/02/2025 21:00

Just to add, I am not judging you. I have worked with women who have needed a lot of SS involvement and some have gone on to become fantastic mothers. You can too. But you need to prioritise this baby and yourself. That mean having absolutely no contact with anyone who SS believe to be a risk

Crackednuts · 05/02/2025 21:03

Louiee11 · 05/02/2025 20:54

There is not contact since Saturday with the drug dealer , I haven’t been honest about who the father was till they found out today and that’s all and now they see it as risks so there putting baby on a cp plan and having a legal meeting to see whether I can have baby with me still or not

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Do you have a substance misuse support worker? If you do they might be able to help you. If you're continuing to misuse alcohol and drugs. I don't want to assume anything. They are worried about withdrawal symptoms when the baby is born and weaning the baby at hospital. If you don't have any support then I would talk to your GP and ask them to refer you to the services. If I am wrong please correct me you do need real life support from the services. Ss sees you as a threat and you need to sort yourself out and talk to someone about what's going on in your head.

Completelyjo · 05/02/2025 21:04

What were your reasons to hide who the father was?

Original poster

Louiee11 · 05/02/2025 21:05

IncaDove · 05/02/2025 21:00

Just to add, I am not judging you. I have worked with women who have needed a lot of SS involvement and some have gone on to become fantastic mothers. You can too. But you need to prioritise this baby and yourself. That mean having absolutely no contact with anyone who SS believe to be a risk

I know I’m gonna need the support but now I think it’s to last as they have put unborn baby on cp plan and now having a legal meeting:(

OP posts:

Original poster

Louiee11 · 05/02/2025 21:06

Completelyjo · 05/02/2025 21:04

What were your reasons to hide who the father was?

Because I know he drinks alot and I was worried as when ss took my child out my care when she was a year old they gave her to her father and since then I’ve been worried they would do the same

OP posts:

InfoSecInTheCity · 05/02/2025 21:06

So is the child's father a risk to you or your baby in their eyes and are you still in contact with the baby's father?

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 05/02/2025 21:07

@Crackednuts I'm not sure that the OP has a substance misuse problem herself.

Crackednuts · 05/02/2025 21:07

Tomorrow morning ring support services. There is help you need to reach out. You need to show you are fighting for your child.

IncaDove · 05/02/2025 21:08

It is not too late. But you need to take action straight away.

Original poster

Louiee11 · 05/02/2025 21:09

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 05/02/2025 21:07

@Crackednuts I'm not sure that the OP has a substance misuse problem herself.

No I don’t

OP posts: