Two potential Dad’s

[WholeHearted89]

I know I won’t be the first or last to be in this predicament and I am ashamed of my past behaviour but here we are nonetheless.

I find myself single and 30 weeks pregnant. My due date is 08/03/2025.

My LMP was on 02/06/2024. I had sex with previous partner on 11/06/2024 and then had sex with someone else the next day 12/06/2024. 🙈🙈 I know, not my finest hour. I did take the morning after pill on the 13/06 but it was clearly too late as I’d already ovulated.

Previous partner did not ejaculate inside and we had been using withdrawal as our “method” of contraception successfully since we had our son in 2020.

The other person did cum. Up until today I was convinced it was the other person’s baby but had a 4d scan today and baby looks just like DS. It has raised doubt in my mind.

Who do you think is most likely to be the Dad?

Definitely going to get a DNA test when baby is here (although ex partner is white and other potential Dad Asian so it may be obvious) but just feel anxious in the countdown. Didn’t want to risk amniocentesis when I was going to keep baby regardless.

It's to close of a call, you'll need a dna test.

Sorry girl, sounds like a really tricky situation to be in. Hope you are OK. No one in the world would be able to say when there's only a day between it. It's not possible to determine x

Maybe it will be obvious at birth. Do both men know you have doubts?

There’s no way you can no from a scan. You are 100% clueless until the DNA test, hopefully both men no that

thanks so much so far posters :)

both men are aware of the situation.

it’s the most mental thing ever to have happened to me, the most irresponsible thing I’ve ever done. 🙈 and I’m genuinely sorry for the mess.

This is what I hope :) although Asian man is fairly light skinned. Just to add to the MF’ing confusion 🙈

You'll only know with a DNA test.

Who is this other guy you had unprotected sex with?

There's no way of telling from dates.

It's more likely to be the partner who ejaculated inside you but there's no way to be sure without a DNA test.

I really am okay, aside from the confusion. I just wish I knew. I have decided to keep her and both men have made it clear I’m going it alone, despite one of them definitely being the Dad.

but I want her and can definitely do this by myself. In the words of my friend who made a comment when previous partner and I were going to split last Xmas “if you have to raise your son alone, well you have been doing it on your own anyway.” ❤️

A friend.

OP please hear this now. This is absolutely unequivocally no way to know which one is the father.

Withdrawal isn’t a reliable form of birth control at all. You had sex with two men 24 hours apart. Both had sperm inside you.

A scan cannot tell you anything about who the father is. Nothing. DNA is the ONLY way.

Everything else is conjecture, speculation and wild guessing.

It will be no loss to your child if they want nothing to do with their own baby, they're not worth having around . You're acknowledging your regret, but they also decided to sleep with you and were well aware of what can happen when you have sex! You sound like a strong Mama and I'm glad you're doing OK. We all make mistakes, no one ever plans to be in such a situation. Life, eh?🤦‍♀️

OP when you have your baby, speak to your midwife about contraceptive options. No judgment from me - you aren’t the first or last person to end up accidentally pregnant in circumstances like these and it doesn’t mean you won’t be a brilliant and loving mum to your kids. But the withdrawal method isn’t a reliable form of contraception, and you didn’t use any with the other guy.

You’re allowed to have sex, there’s nothing in the world wrong with doing so as often as you like with whomever you like, but make sure from now on that you only get pregnant when you actively want to.

What a weird comment

I would organise a DNA test once your DD is here

Although both men are saying that they don't want any involvement, it is only fair that your DD knows who her father is and that he has the option of playing a parental role. Knowing who the father is will also allow you to claim maintenance.

I'd assume it was the other guy, seeing as he didn't withdraw.

You are so kind, thank you. ❤️

could not have imagined this would happen two years ago but it has and I’m already a great Mum to DS and have a lot of love to give.

thank you x

Thank you :) I 100% intend on doing this. From the age I was sexually active, I was on the pill and then the implant which I really got on with until we decided to start trying to conceive. Had DS and didn’t go back on anything as knew we would eventually start trying again …. Actually changed our minds about having another and never got round to sorting it out … and now here I am. She is a happy - if not very confusing - surprise but one I can’t afford to have again.

so definitely contraception after she is born. Of course I plan on celibacy for a long time yet too! 😂🙈

On the balance of probability the one that shot their custard inside you.

thank you :)

happy for either to be in her life but am being stubbornly wilful that I don’t want anything from them financially seeing as they have had nothing to do with the pregnancy. Might change my mind once she is here of course! 😂

@GRCP @Jabbabong

this is what I have been counting on the entire pregnancy so far and I know it’s the most probable. But like the others have suggested, it’s just too close to call.

You have done nothing wrong.

There is no shame in a single woman having sex with 2 single men. What's the difference between a day apart or 3 months apart? People have threesomes for goodness sake!

It happens, you've been honest. After birth you can get a dna test. Problem solved.

I’m not sure what you mean.

You are so right poster and I thank you for your non-judgement. I think I’m just very conscious that it’s like I’m playing with people’s emotions and future’s.

but you play adult games, you win adult prizes I guess. Definite DNA test once babe is here.