Two potential Dad’s

[WholeHearted89]

I know I won’t be the first or last to be in this predicament and I am ashamed of my past behaviour but here we are nonetheless.

I find myself single and 30 weeks pregnant. My due date is 08/03/2025.

My LMP was on 02/06/2024. I had sex with previous partner on 11/06/2024 and then had sex with someone else the next day 12/06/2024. 🙈🙈 I know, not my finest hour. I did take the morning after pill on the 13/06 but it was clearly too late as I’d already ovulated.

Previous partner did not ejaculate inside and we had been using withdrawal as our “method” of contraception successfully since we had our son in 2020.

The other person did cum. Up until today I was convinced it was the other person’s baby but had a 4d scan today and baby looks just like DS. It has raised doubt in my mind.

Who do you think is most likely to be the Dad?

Definitely going to get a DNA test when baby is here (although ex partner is white and other potential Dad Asian so it may be obvious) but just feel anxious in the countdown. Didn’t want to risk amniocentesis when I was going to keep baby regardless.

But again you are assuming that I am in a position of financial disadvantage to begin with … I could be absolutely minted. 🤷🏼‍♀️

But I don’t get why? I’m just guessing now (seeing as your in the business of guessing too) but surely so much of the worlds population is a made up people who were a result of accidental pregnancy.

There are so many worse situations to inflict upon a child than that. I don’t have an STD, I’m financially stable … judge others all you like, but spare it if it’s directed towards me. I’m sound. 👌🏻

When I took the test and it was positive, I couldn’t believe it. The one time in my life I would be uncertain about the paternity and yet here I was 🙈 congratulations on your little surprise ❤️ do you know what you are having? Or are you going for maximum thrill factor this pregnancy?! 😂😂

I am probing now so forgive me but can I just ask - were you even aware you were ovulating? Just goes to show how flighty I’d become as I didn’t even spare a thought to it.

as I said it had worked for us up until now and so I’d be very surprised if baby was ex partners, he was adamant he didn’t ejaculate but how can you ever really know?

In a weird twist of fate, I would prefer it to be friend’s as that is the way everyone’s thought process has gone. Everyone has just assumed it is his and I’ve kind of mentally prepared for it to be his … for it to be ex-partners would put a spanner in the works. I know I’m not making much sense. It’s a very confusing time. 🙈

I’m going to look this up as I don’t think I can wait even two months … ❤️

thank you x

Absolutely, you have to have a test done for your child's sake. They need to know who their father is even if the asshole chooses bit to be involved at this point

@WholeHearted89 you know you love and want your baby.
There are no guarantees, even in marriages or ltr that parents will stay together. That the nrp will continue to see the child/children.
Kids need one stable happy parent.
Sounds like this is you.
If you can do a DNA safely before your dd is born (and the men agree) then maybe you should.

Interestingly we had a baby born in our family with a Mongolian Blue spot. No POC in our family tree. Thankfully the paediatrician found it before the baby left the hospital and not an over zealous health visitor or midwife on a home visit.

Regardless of whether you're absolutely minted, additional income from a second parent is advantageous to the child. I really don't understand why you want to argue differently?

Know

@WholeHearted89 I'm on app so can't quote /reply to a post if been quoted once

Here is a link. Costs about £800

Assume you are in U.K.

www.alphabiolabs.co.uk/learning-centre/paternity-testing-while-pregnant/

Who was the dad OP?

Look you've mucked up and like you said you won't be first and you won't be the last. This one is just too close to call. Just be honest with both potential fathers, say you messed up and don't know who Dad of baby is and you'd like to do a DNA test with both of them when baby is born, which you will pay for as it is your actions that led to this confusion. You owe baby to find out who Dad is. Hope everything goes alright OP and I hope both potential fathers treat you kindly.

How did this work out op?

@CinnamonBuns67 @pinkstripeycat @GreenGodiva

Sorry to leave you all hanging - only just saw the notification.

DD was born a week early on 01/03 and is an absolute dream come true. Her Dad is Asian man. When she was about five days old I did a sibling DNA test taking a swab from me (to be able to determine a genetic link between them), DS and DD and they came back as half siblings. I think it was 9000 times more likely they are half than full.

DD is darker than me and my son, but still fairly light. She does have a Mongolian blue spot however and brown eyes - both my ex and I have blue!

My ex has been gracious and kind and DD’s Dad has just started spending more time with her. Was here to visit today. ☺️

Maternity pay is a bit cr@p 😂 but back to work in December. Other than that, fine. :)

It’s funny how you things you worried about so intensely at one time literally feel like a lifetime ago.

Congratulations

Congrats and maybe if spending time with dd they can have a relationship

it must be hard for men if it’s 50/50 to want to bond with a baby if might not be theirs so good you now know

any chance of you getting with Asian dad / father of your baby ?