Fiance is angry and playing blame game

[Mandyadj89]

For some, you will read this and say, wow! What a crap man and others may not but here we go.... Fiance and I have been together 5 years...... In these 5 years I have had 4 medical abortions all due to his choice and me being so sad about it. I was on birth control but we stopped taking it about 2 years ago as it was giving me massive head aches and a whole lot of pregnancy symptoms. At that time we discussed other options. I kept telling him if he does not want another baby ever, why not get snipped. He refuses.... This has led me to take endless amounts of plan B pills. Ive taken 12 plan Bs in the last 12 months...... The last medical abortion I was so angry with him and told him this will be the LAST TIME I put myself through this..... Well here we are. I actually took a plan B pill during ovulation week but I think we may have taken it after ovulation had passed thats the onlyyyyyyy thing I can think of as to why it would have failed.... Im now what the Dr. would consider 5 and a half weeks pregnant. The second I thought I was late, I told him I think we may need a test and why... He didnt mention anything else for over a week. Now that he knows for sure that I am pregnant my Fiance has not spoken to me in over 24 hours. He keeps telling me he is done with me, Im a manipulator, im trapping him and soooo much more. I feel hes had many chances to protect himself and still chooses not to pull out and depends on a plan B to save his ass. 4 times I gave him his way. This isnt right! I dont feel I should abort again. I need help, reassurance, in all, Im not sure what I need other than to not feel neglected, lied to about love, and alone at the moment. Is anyone right in this situation? His only child is about to be 7 and she is autistic. I think his anger may fuel from fear that this baby may too have autism. I look at it as something in this world wants his daughter to have a younger sibling to watch over her once we are gone from this world. Why cant he see the positive?

I support choice, but mine was really no choice, so I said it. Not sure how that
offends you. I’m not superior in any way, it was what happened. I will note for next time that other people get offended when I literally tell the truth of my own circumstance. Thanks for your sympathy by the way!

Honestly I think you’re as bad as each other here, you’ve gotten the morning after pill 12 times in 12 months, had 4 abortions, continued having unprotected sex despite all of this. You need to take some responsibility for yourself and your body here, nobody can force you to have an abortion, and I’m baffled by the fact that even despite these things you’ve still continued having unprotected sex with him knowing exactly where you end up every single time.

This is the “fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me”. 12 morning after pills and 4 abortions later it’s well and truly “open your eyes” time!

Educate yourself: https://www.nhs.uk/pregnancy/support/termination-for-fetal-anomaly/

This.

I don't understand why you are with such an awful man.

I do get that you have financial ties, a business etc, but there must be a way out.

You'd be far happier without him.

Here to agree with this. A close family member has been in this position for the past 10 years as older sibling has various conditions, and they are so tied to looking after the sibling as there is no one else now. It's so unfair to the younger one.

Jesus, I've read some depressing things on here recently but this is the icing on the cake.

Do not ever have a child OP until you have sorted your life out and can understand what a healthy relationship looks like.

fuck me 4 abortions!!!!!!

I just didn’t think people did this mistake more than once or twice (I’ve had one abortion). Makes me wonder how many women are having 2/3/4/5+++++

I kind of feel like this thread is a fake anti-choice one to support the “stupid women use abortion on demand as a contraceptive” argument.

This is terrible situation.
He is awful but you need to take some responsibility too.

Have the baby and give it up for adoption- just imagine 9 months that you won't have to worry about getting pregnant.....

(Total BS IMO)

You are both irresponsible. I’m all for choice but abortion should not be a form of birth control.

Please do not bring a poor innocent baby into all of this awfulness. Take some responsibility for yourself and stop having sex. Split up from this horrible man and get some counselling.

This is truly fucked up. Terminate, leave him and sell up the assets you have together. It’s absolutely crazy to stay with a man who treats you like this and you let him every single day. Every time you have sex you’re letting him abuse you. Call womensaid. Have you got people, family or friends who can help you get away from him?

I was wondering that too.

Omg you are both irresponsible!! OP come on this isn’t good for you, going thru all these abortions and taking that many Morning after pills in such a short time. Hes a dick, do not let him have sex with you if he will not be taking relevant precautions, pulling out (or not in his case!) is not reliable. He’s manipulating you. You are acting like a pair of teenagers with no clue about reproduction!! And I would have thought u would have learnt after first abortion but no along came 3 more, Christ! Not good. I think you need to get out of this relationship. Hes sulking cause you are pregnant again, how awful Hes not there for you

For some, you will read this and say, wow! What a crap man and others may not but here we go

Nobody in their right mind would think anything other than he is an absolute horror.

I'd see another Dr- with a history of PID you absolutely can have an IUD, I assume it's treated? It's not a contraindication, and as long as the PID is treated, you can have that and an IUD.

Having a termination for medical reasons is extremely traumatic, this comment is really insulting. People are entitled to share their experience of abortion and highlight the reason they had one if they wish.

Thank you, I really appreciate your comment more than you can imagine. Xxx

Both of you have been irresponsible. Plan for the baby as a single mum and start getting your ducks in a row now.

This isn't just a him problem. Take some responsibility for the awful choices you're making.
Do better.

Plan B's and medical abortions are NOT forms of contraception and should not be used as though they are.

For 1) if this man doesn't want anymore children but refuses to take responsibility for the fact, stop opening your legs to him.
For 2) get on some decent birth control. We are lucky and have SO many options.

Goodness me I can't believe what I've just read.
You are equally to blame. 🤦🏽‍♀️

For the love of God, leave!

I was objecting to your "actual medical reasons"

I should have been clearer.

A woman can have an abortion for any reasons, actual medical reasons or actual wanting one reasons. You were being extremely judgemental in your use of "actual medical reasons"

HTH