Due February 2025 - Thread 4

[UrbanSquirrel]

Just creating this so that we have somewhere to continue when Thread 3 fills up. If you're due to have a baby in February 2025 (or late January or early March, as we have a wide spread!), come join us for support, advice and (at present) some really useful Black Friday recommendations! Big welcoming hugs to all the usual suspects coming over from Thread 3 🤗

Hope everyone had a good Christmas! I have been given a great gift - my bump has dropped right down 🥳 and I've had a few days without reflux/palpitations!! Feels like I can breathe a lot easier.

No idea what the baby is doing position-wise - she was transverse for ages, then head down and now seems to be on a sort of diagonal? Which I think is ok - still plenty of time to get into position. I am 35 weeks tomorrow!! And finally starting to get excited.

@autumnbake My next appointment is at 36+4 (or something like that) and I have been told that that will be the birth choices appointment. Unless I have misread your post, I think you are seeing a midwife on the 8th Jan? It sounds like there will be plenty of time to schedule a C section if you say that you want one at that appointment?

@autumnbake one of my friends decided she wanted an elective section at 38 weeks, spoke to a consultant at 38+4 and they got her booked in for 39+5, so try not to panic too much!

Yes I've heard post 36 weeks is when we can look at birth choices. I had one midwife advise me to try and look round a birth centre earlier but when I called them they were firm about not seeing anyone before 36 weeks. Apparently a lot can change before then so it makes sense to wait until then to confirm choices (and I get it now with baby breech at our scan 2 days ago and somehow kicking me in the ribs as I was laying down this morning!). I'd love more predictability though!

Has anyone else had pregnancy bloat finally hit their face? I took a bump picture on Christmas and noticed it!

@ridl14 Face looks normal, but I've grown a double chin 🫤. Hopefully it's not a permanent feature...😬

@ridl14 yes! I have the physique of a snowman, ball for a head and a ball for a belly! At least it’s festive I suppose 😂

Feeling TOTALLY overstimulated with everything at the moment, I’ve taken down all of my Christmas decorations already and spent £300 in IKEA trying to come up with mildly aesthetic storage solutions for all of the stuff my toddler got from well meaning aunts, cousins and friends! First time mums, I’d recommend you simply move house now because no matter how much spare space you think you’ve got in your current house, you’re wrong 😂

@retrievermum ok this is an issue that totally gets to me. I keep telling everyone don’t get us stuff/ ask if you really want to get something. And somehow they always get stuff ! And then I have to be polite about them and say thank you. I feel like this problem will get amplified 100x with a baby 😩 our house is tiny.
I spent so long explaining this to my MIL and she still got us an extra gift for Christmas on top of the thing I said we really needed. It’s a frame and clay to make foot/ hand prints of the baby. I have absolutely no surface in the house to put this on. So when we got it I really spontaneously said « ok we’ll make the prints and then gift it to you » and and I immediately felt so freaking bad! I still feel bad about it to be honest. 🫣 then she left the receipt if we wanted to change it so I suppose we can get something more useful now but I hate being rude. I know people do it out of love.

@Kumquat89 for anyone who asked, I said books are all we need! Little bit easier to store and it’s always good to read, surely!

My in laws asked what they were “allowed” to get for DD this Christmas so I gave a specific list of things she needed (new wellies for example!) and asked them to try not to deviate from it because we just don’t have the space! I think they were a bit annoyed at me for it if I’m honest but better to be slightly rude via text than having a face like a slapped arse when they inevitably bought her something huge and unnecessary.

It’s SO hard because I know they mean well, and regular culling of things helped a lot! Things like the footprint kit I’d have probably pretended to love it and then given it to a charity shop, and if they asked I’d just claim I hadn’t had time and was saving it for their first birthday (by which time they’ll hopefully have forgotten!)

@ridl14 ohhh yes, my face has been puffy since about the start of December, along with my ankles (I'm 35w). Fortunately it has improved with relaxation and long walks over the Christmas week - that, or I have got used it.
Totally with you, @Kumquat89 and @retrievermum on the problem of being given things by my family when I already have a storage permacrisis. They do mean well, but also I can't help feeling occasionally that at an unconscious level they are being a little selfish, because they (in a largish house) get the pleasure of buying the item, but it's me who has all the fun of finding somewhere to put it - to the point where I must admit I'd have possibly experienced being given something like a baby footprint thing a bit as if the giver had been inadvertently cruel. My parents have begun to understand over the years - I'm hoping the baby won't cause them to forget. I'm literally writing this right now to put off my next job: trying to rearrange our clothes storage for the umpteenth time.

FYI...you can create a baby wish list on amazon so that if anyone asks what you want/need you can send them the link. Another fave present I got with DS was Boots vouchers...so handy for nappies, clothes, toys, medicine and baby food etc came in so handy when we had only stat mat pay to get by on.

We are now a family who gifts experience vouchers to friends and family with older kids, eg £50 voucher to pay for a trip to cinema or bowling.

Our son is now 8 and prefers £ for birthdays and xmas...we tend to let him spend a small proportion and then save the rest. My MIL tends to still get him gifts though and looks for great stuff in the charity shop throughout the year. My mum usually gifts him something small to open and then money 💰

Not sure about new baby, first girl for us and a triple rainbow baby so I think family and friends are dying to buy lots of girlie outfits for us which I don't mind!

Is there anything you can take to help swollen feet/ankles?

Also, any recommendations for pregnancy safe electrolytes?

Hydrate and elevate your feet. Keep an eye on the swelling as it can be a symptom of pre eclampsia - any headaches/blurred vision?

What @OrangeSlices998 said, plus you can massage gently towards the heart to encourage drainage. You could also try compression socks. It's yet another purchase, but I used to use them outside of pregnancy for long journeys, and if I'm using my standing desk all day (so I have a couple of pairs of wool & cotton ones from the compressionsockshop). Those are 'class 1', and are broadly like ordinary socks, but there's also 'class 2', which offer a higher compression but are always largely made of synthetic materials. For pregnancy, class 1 is supposedly fine, although when I was very swollen while abroad, I bought myself a pair of class 2 in a pharmacy and they did get my ankles looking better very quickly. In my experience, the ones that stop at the ankle are almost pointless compared to the knee-high ones. Hope you can see your ankle bones again soon!

Has anyone had their 34 week appointment yet? I’ve just seen a video saying that it’s a “long appointment” to discuss birth plans, but I haven’t done one yet haha (I’m 35+2).

I can’t really remember what happened last time I was pregnant, but I was on the caseload of a student midwife so she was really thorough with everything, and I think she asked me to fill in the birth plan on BadgerNotes prior to an appointment, but I can’t remember which one!

Packing away Christmas today so we’re getting all of the baby things out of the attic, feeling more real now! Hope everyone is doing okay!

I had mine and it was short and sweet really, usual appointment just BP, Urine, heart beat. Baby is breech so no need to discuss birth plans as that's been done with consultant.

We'll be getting the rest of stuff out of the loft over next day or so when Christmas stuff goes away, hoping my pram bits are in tact!

Thank you @OrangeSlices998 and @CarrotySnack
No headaches or blurred vision thankfully but am aware of pre-eclampsia symptoms.
Swelling tends to happen when in social circumstances and sitting for long periods of time and not about to elevate my feet etc and it doesn't really link to wear compression socks 🙃
On the home straight now so not too much longer to put up with tree trunks of ankles!!

@elb1504 classic! I’d be in and out each midwife appt in five minutes flat if she didn’t love a gossip so much (same midwife as I had with DD so we’re quite pally, awkward if I decide to have a sweep as it would be similar vibes to it being done by my next door neighbour!).

Haha I suddenly had a panic that the pram will be covered in mould or similar!

I’ve been assured that I don’t need to get a new mattress for the next2me because the gap between babies is so small but I think I’ll get one anyway, just in case!

I was handed on a pram last week - as I wheeled it away it suddenly felt very real... I've been very organised in getting all the baby stuff ready, but it never felt so tangible as when I was pushing the pram.

It's odd because I have an older child (7y so it's been a while) - it shouldn't feel weird, but it just does!

@retrievermum I had mine a couple of weeks ago (at 33w, due to being away over Christmas) but it was just a standard check in. Midwife told me 37 weeks was the birth choices appointment. 🤷

I'm 33 + 3 and will be having the next midwife appt when I'm 35 + 4 but she did say to me last time that it's a double appointment as we'll be discussing my birth plan. We're still on paper notes here so she didn't ask me to fill anything out beforehand but I've written stuff down so I don't forget it all when we have the appt!

@QuantumPanic this is a combined 34/36 week appointment for me, next one is 38!

I’ve got a consultant appointment and of Jan to discuss birth, but only because I’ve refused induction or an elective section following my EMCS with DD. Annoyingly, that appointment is three days before my due date so it seems a bit late in the day! 🤷🏽‍♀️

@BusyTiger this sounds promising! To be honest, I don’t really have a birth plan for if I have a VBAC, it’s if I end up with another c section that I’m going to be making my demands haha!

@retrievermum it sounds like you really know what you would request if you have a casarean. Do you mind me asking what your main requirements would be? It sounds like you had a tricky time of it last time with the EmCS so of course that's fine if you'd rather not share.

I haven't had a birth plan chat with my midwife yet, and she didn't mention it at my appointment yesterday, but I don't mind. I intend on arriving at the hospital with it printed out on A4! 😂 (Somewhere someone told me that this is much more likely to be looked at).

I was more surprised that I had to ask about colostrum syringes, and was only then added to her to-do list - to ask a separate health team to get them to me. I'll be 36 weeks this Saturday which is when you're supposed to start doing the harvesting! I have to wonder what would have happened if I hadn't asked. She was very nice and very experienced, it's j just surprising that the system is patchy.

I had what I assume was my 34 week appt last week at 33 weeks, and there was zero chat about birth plans or anything (even when I asked I got a vague, mumbled response about it). My midwife is pretty useless. My next appt with her is at 37 weeks 🤷‍♀️

@retrievermum they did go over my birth plan at the 34 week appointment, but it felt a bit preliminary tbh. They said we would ‘lock it in’ more at the next appointment.

I’ve decided I want an elective c section instead of an induction (expecting to be overdue considering this is our first baby and I was very late myself), so hoping to get it booked in ASAP. And I had to politely push the midwife to make the referral to the c section team, she wanted to leave it until later.

@CarrotySnack definitely! A few things on there are based on things that happened last time (eg. My husband had to leave the room with baby and we didn’t know why) but most are just because my trauma stemmed from a loss of control, so I’m just trying to control as much as I possibly can, if that makes sense?

Things like:

• Dim lights
• Low volume of speaking (if at all)
• Playlist
• Curtain lowered
• Husband fully informed
• Delayed cord clamping
• Anti-sickness before starting
• Don’t tell us the sex
• Immediate skin to skin
• Do not separate me from baby unless medical emergency
• Free arm
• Breastfeed in theatre if possible

So mostly me being a control freak 😂

I am not enjoying this time of year, so ready to be at home and nest and not be travelling visiting family. Next year we are not fucking doing it!!!! Because of DH’s job we live at the other end of the country to his big extended family and so the onus is on us to visit at Christmas (his parents do visit us regularly throughout the year to be fair) and it’s just so much palaver. Driving 8-10h with 2 kids and me heavily pregnant has been hell on earth. I just can’t believe we’ve done it, I don’t know why I haven’t put my foot down before. We had Christmas Day at home and then traipsed to my mums for Boxing Day (4h away) and then spent all of the 27th travelling to BIL’s. I’m hormonal, I’m tired, I want to be in my own bed.

End of rant 😭😭😭