@retrievermum
i read your post with some emotion and might be able to help with a bit of it - what’s standard/what’s not and what can be accommodated/altered.
Did you have a debrief after your last section to answer some of the questions? You might even be able to ask your midwife now to go through the old notes if it’s the same hospital - e.g there’s usually a reason that’s pretty clear in the documentation for why he needed to leave. Might help you feel a sense of control this time?
From your post - lots of things on there are pretty common/standard eg delayed cord clamping, anti sickness, getting baby to you etc.
Some things are easily accommodated eg dad telling you the sex or looking together.
Free arm - are you right or left handed? You’ll have a venflon in both arms for emergencies but only usually ever need one, the anaesthestist is usually to your left,so that arm is easiest to use, with the main surgeon operating from the right of the table. Even with an arm in use you can still use it to hold baby as long as your safe/not drowsy etc Another position is baby across your chest with dp using a hand to hold in place too.
Anti-sickness - try to work out if you can which you found helpful last time. It’s easy to give early but some people react badly to different ones. Often the vomit in labour is from contractions which is different from the nausea of theatre and explains why some don’t work.
Dim lights and low volume - it’s variable how this can be done. Safety is the paramount, so the surgeon will up/down the lights to their need unfortunately and not yours. Often it can be the overhead glare of operating lights that’s dazzling, these can be aimed away from you, provided the field of operating isn’t affected, do you wear glasses?
Low volume - you can ask for less general chatter no problem but the surgeon/anaesthetist/scrub nurse etc for safety need to speak to each other e.g every pack of swabs/blade/stitch is counted in/out - this can be from the sterile field across to a chart on the wall etc. Would headphones help you?
People often talk about a playlist - just be aware we have no speakers/sound system in theatre. You could definitely use your partners phone/own mini speaker if you wished, with except for the safety brief at the start?
Would going through the proceedure with the obstetrician be beneficial? Does your trust have preparation for c- section class? We have it online and it’s really good for asking about all these things.
Hope that’s helpful and doesn’t come across as patronising.