Pregnant, 40+ and Proud: Fabulous Mummies Sign Up Here!

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Following Ms Dynamo's wonderful news of her pregnancy and all the rest of us who are coming out of the woodwork ...a new, morale-boosting thread for those of us in our 40s currently going through pregnancy.

Come on, sign up: we are 40+ and FABULOUSLY PREGNANT!!!

msdynamo Good News about the tests and D&C....ann YAH BOO SUCKS to the IVF after a few months malarky Blimey, many of my mates took longer than that and they are a decade younger than me! You go for it again girl.....and blinkin well enjoy the ride...ugh, sorry pardon the pun

Yoh, this feeding thing is just never ending...Verity has slept a grand total of 2 hours.......all day - and an hour overnight. I'm exhausted....and she's just woken up AGAIN!
Was thinking of posting a question on the breastfeeding topic....but they all scare me a bit....well, a lot! Oh well...back to the grind!

msdynamo - what rot - six months is about average for a woman of a much younger age so there is no reason to believe you are any less fertile than anyone else. I read somewhere that either 20% or 40% of women are as fertile in their early forties as they were in their early twenties. I count myself among them as I got pg on the first attempt both times (once m/c second ok so far).

Yes, so we have had miscarriages - that is not the preserve of the older woman either!

Just you go and prove the buggers wrong!

Thanks Kaz and JW. My community mw actually said to tell the hospital to "sod it" unless I really wanted the GTT, as she couldn't see any reason to take it. She thought it was quite funny that the only reason they gave was because I'm "old"! There has never been any problem with my urine.

Go for it, msdynamo. I had IVF to have DD, after trying for a few years. Before it worked, the clinic made me feel I'd really left it far too late. Funnily enough I seem to have got more fertile since turning 40. First successful IVF was done the day after my 40th birthday, and I've now been pregnant three times in three years (last 2 without any assistance).

BTW, LO has hardly stopped hiccuping since I posted that hiccups query the other day!

JW hi how you doing hows the baby?
we have missed you on the gd thread

was just reading a post on big babies and gd

well i have 3 weeks till my section and this baba is huge now estimated same as last pregnancy between 9-10lb when hes born early

i can barely walk now need him out trying loads of natural remedies (wink)

Msdynamo; Take no notice of your idiot gynae man ... I was told when I was 24 that I couldnt get pg (endo AND pcos)and when I was 28 that if I did only 50% of my embryos would make it because of a genetic translocation I carry...the knowledge wrecked several relationships, so I didnt meet a man I could love enough to marry who didnt mind if we were childless until I was 38..we married as I turned 40 and within 2 months of coming off the pill (to control the pcos) I got pg..I endured 6 mcs before they investigated further to discover I have anti phospholipid syndrome too! I got pg the 7th time on the first cycle of trying and carried him sucessfully to term with the aid of heparin and aspirin..(something that one of the consultants near here reccommends for all older pg mums)But from 1st bfp to 7th bfp there was just 31 months...and I was pg for 13 of them!..I think that averages about a pg every 3-4 months, slightly higher than the "statistics" the gynaes quote for a 25yr old! Take no notice of those flawed statistic led fools...you have done it once, you will do it again..and you will be an official member back on this page in no time at all (and I'd be joining you if dh would agree to it!)

msdynamo so glad to see you back Glad that you are ok and tell your gynae man to kiss your backside after what he said (I'm assuming it was a man).

Pile of plop. As we've said in here before, just cos you're over 40 doesn't mean your eggs are shrivelled up walnuts. We're all testament to that in here

disneystar great to see you dear and can't believe your time has come around so soon! Good to hear that you're size of a house....I'm sort of glad I missed out on that bit and I really don't miss injecting everyday either

Katherine is doing well and taking lots of my milk now. I had BIG cuddles with her yesterday which always sets me off on a roller coaster of emotions. She loved it though I'm a bit down today for various reasons...me and DH are still not getting along.

I have a docs appointment this afternoon and I know I'm going to cry even though I'm only going about my meds and my piles problems. Not sure if I'm hitting the baby blues or I'm on the run up to postnatal depression - I've had it after all my other pregnancies Really hope it's not the latter as I don't want to be on anti depressants if I can help it.

Johnworf how gorgeous that you got a big cuddle with Katherine....you guys are really doing well.

With all that's going on in your lives I'm not surprised you're stressed out....PND or not. It's hard enough with the hormones setting in after birth without all the trauma you're both going through. I know it's been easier on mine and DPs relationship this time round, as I went into my own little world with DD1 being in SCBU....and so did he. Like two separate entities colliding around each other.

Good luck with docs appointment.....and even if you get rid of those pesky piles....it's a start! x

it would be strange if you weren't a bit down jw. The situation you are in must be physically and emotionally exhausting and is totally at odds with your hormones. Instead of being at home recovering, bonding with baby and being looked after you are having to charge around and worry constantly not to mention being separated from Katherine and still trying to look after her and feed her.

I really don't know how you cope.

jeanjeannie and mrsboogie it's pretty much exactly how you've said it. We are just colliding in our own worlds (him worrying about work stuff, me crying every time I think of my little baby). Yep, I can't be near to her. Feel guilty just for being at home instead of hospital. Of course, DH just buries himself into his work or tv and switches off (or appears to) but I just can't do that.

On top of all of this, DH's in court next week with DSS's mother. She's just sent her statement through which will be read in court and it's all about me! Here was me thinking it was all about her son (who was taken from her). Anyway, it seems it's mud slinging season and I'm game on. Really not up to it at the moment though and very sensitive about everything (normally I'd take it all with a pinch of salt). So the added turmoil of this on top of everything else just set me off last night into the depths of despair One of her quotes was that I'm 43 (eh?) and in HER opinion that's too old to have a baby......answers on a postcard to that one!!! (wtf it has to do with contact issues with her son I don't know).

Rant over

On a good note, I've brought one of Katherine's blankets home today and her smell is on it. It's so lovely

Hi, 38 is that too young, 39weeks preg, fat feet having number 4?? Can I be included??
Mummato4

wtf? if you were too old to be having a baby you wouldn't be having (have had) one!! seriously though - sounds like the last thing you need right now. what a cow! can you try to let it just wash over you?

your DH might seem to be switching off by immersing himself in other things - he probably isn't really. Probably dwelling on it all inside while trying to appear strong. It's what they do isn't it?

Hi, thanks so much everyone for your moral support. I love this thread! Yes the gynecologist was a man! floriatosca you have such stamina. How you got through that difficult period I'll never know.

johnworf you managed to make me laugh, despite you're feeling so low today. That's a great talent! I'm sorry to hear about the strain you're feeling. Any of us would be the same in your situation. It's a lot to handle. It's also difficult when men handle things so differently. I've had to be extra patient with my bf who acts as though nothing has happened and is surprised to see me down occasionally. They're so damned practical, and during any emotional rollercoaster, that irritating practicality becomes totally obsessive. Mine has had more work, more social engagements, in the past ten days then in all the time I've known him. At one point I felt like stabbing him, then I decided to talk it through with him instead. It really helped, although it was an uncomfortable process.

I hope you find a way to improve things with your DH. Before all this I remember he sounded like a great guy. In the meantime, I really hope you don't slide into depression. It takes a lot of will to fight it, and I know exhaustion, stress and worry don't help.

I really hope things get better day by day. You have been incredibly strong so far, I really admire you. Your little girl definitely takes after you!

With regards to DSS's mother, who sounds like a complete bitch, post her address and we'll all go and beat her up for you

johnworf....blimey....it's a piling up on you guys isn't it. Well, I have to say, sounds like DSS's mother is enough heartache on it's own. She sounds like a lovely person

I reckon your DH is probably stressing over that too.....and more than likely feeling quite guilty about it...I mean it's his past forcing more stress on you.

The gobby 'me' wants to slap her with a wet fish and tell her she's a stupid moo......and one who hasn't got her son with her. BUT 'thoughtful' me says that she's probably a very jealous, bitter woman and in her eyes...you've got it all. And you have.....you've got fab kids, a DH (albeit one having a temporary inner crisis!)her son with you AND little Katherine, fighting her own....ALL at the tender age of 43...!!! See, from the outside looking in on your lot.....you out-trump her BIG time.
Doesn't stop her being a prize bitch and damm difficult to deal with though

I agree with msdynamo your ability to make us smile while you're going through all this is really something, just make sure you use that inner strength for you.

Gosh - psycho babble rant over. Back to feeding - nipples like rubber earplugs

mummato4 oh, we could hand out an 'honoury' membership...WELCOME! x

jeanjeannie my nipples are looking a bit like a welsh prop forwards boot studs as well. I'm sure men on the internet would pay good money for pics of them

As for partners, I really don't have a clue about men. Their seeming ability to 'forget' there's something major going on in their life amazes and astounds me. How the fook do they do it? I can only think about Katherine right now, missing her so much. Only happy when I'm back at the hospital with her. To him, doesn't seem to matter where we are it's all the same to him. msdyamo how do you cope with it? I find it infuriating.

TBH this isn't the first time my good name has been dragged through the court on her say so and I didn't let it get to me then and I'm trying really really hard not to this time. I guess 2 weeks isn't a long time to get over feeling a tad vulnerable...isn't it? She's akin to something you'd see on Jeremy Kyle; never worked, knows the system inside out and was a granny at 33. I'm sure you're all getting the idea by now....

Anyway, I've got my new 'lectric breast pump today from hospital and holy moly! it sucks the living daylights outta ya Honestly, in one suck you can see my spleen going in and out in the funnel bit (hahahahaha) It's fab though and expressing takes a trice. And it's a double pumper so I can sit and watch the tv, read a book or talk to the neighbours whilst it's doing its thang - or all three on a good day.

Doc gave me some pile cream and asked about the excitement of my holiday. I'd seen him only 2 days previous to hols for b/p medication and even he couldn't get over all the drama! But....even more news....

...he's taken me off my b/p meds altogether . I can't believe after everything that's happened/happening my b/p has dropped to an all time low - even better than my GPs so he tells me. So, after 4 years on them, I'm free!!! Actually I've so got a crush on him....I so would.....which made it a bit more of a trauma when he said he'd like to look at my bottom, but then I thought...

Bad JW!! Meh

JW ((((big hugs)))Its no wonder you are feeling low....I wont add any more, the girls have said it all, your inate humour shines through despite all the trauma going on round you. at your dh..The more I hear about men in general the more I think they actually got "men are from mars and women are from venus"right. And what a Sad Muppet is your Dhs ex?...no wonder she thinks that 43 is too old she will probably be just short of being a Great-grannie at the same age...Can I join the give her a fish in the face slapping party? 43 too old indeed.
Glad you got your super duper milking machine...and even more glad your bp is so good...despite all the stress!

FloriaTosca thanks hun. Yep, men. They should all head back to their caves and beat their chests..or whatever they do in their spare time. Flogging is actually too good for them you know

Thanks for the virtual slap-with-the-wet-fish-in-the-face to her. I feel much better after just thinking about it

You know since I mentioned my GP in last post? I've actually been thinking I'll just go back and see him in a week whether my bum is better or not. I figure that I have to get cheap thrills while I can and if, as a good looking chap he is, he's offering to poke around my undercarriage, I just know I'm powerless to refuse.

Knock yourself out Dr!

(I'm actually sitting here grinning to myself as I type - how lame is THAT?!)

johnworf So glad you got a cuddle keeping asking about when you can get some kangaroo care I used to do it with ventilated babies on Mums but I know not everyone is happy doing that.

We used to have a Psychologist attached to the unit you are somewhere big ask if they have a counsellor/psychologist attached it can be good to talk to someone who does not have the responsibility of looking after your little one so you do not feel like you are stopping her or other babies care by talking but who also knows how the unit works and has a basic knowledge of Where Katherine is and the extra stress this puts on you.

Your partners ex needs a slap she honestly does she is obviously is trying to take the heat off herself by bringing you into it and is totally out of order hopefully the judge will tell her so this is not about you this is about her and your stepson

Mummato4 Congratulations and Welcome

Hi kaz1967. I didn't get a cuddle yesterday as the nurses thought it prudent not to disturb her - she was having the canula put back in for this indomethycin so I didn't want to cause her too much upset in one day. Also her ventilator is up and down over the past 2 days as they try and wean her down but she's just not ready for it yet.

The nurses are fab and often indulge me in how I feel (and I'm pretty sure they've heard it all before). I do come away feeling a little more empowered and a bit happier in myself.

They let me have her dirty blanket yesterday to bring home though and it's so lovely with her smell on it

As for partners ex, yep, she's trying to distract from the fact she's already lost custody of DSS. This hearing is to change DSS's surname to ours and to lessen contact. Obviously, she's trying the mud slinging route but we all know it simply will not wash in court. She's quite pathetic tbh.

Oh and GREAT BIG FAB NEWS LADIES, Katherine has gained 50grams in the past 2 days. This is a huge weight gain for her and she's now past her birth weight. I'm having a great day with news like this

yay - great news JW. that's what you need to put the jealous exes and her nonsense into perspective!!

Morning all. I actually got some sleep so I'm annoyingly chripy today

JW Katherine has already put her birthweight back on...OMG that's fab...and very speedy work too. She's not a girl to hang around is she! Bless her. Verity is two weeks today and she's only just put hers back...so with all Katherine's set-backs I'd say that was pretty spectacular.

You carry on having a fab day...I'll have one too. Off to John Lewis later...looking at lovely things...I'll have a nice bit of cake for you if you fancy?! ...celebrate your dismissal from BP meds (clever girl)...and your super doopa double turbo charged breast pump... x

johnworf Sorry must have misread things thought you had written you had a cuddle

I wish there would be an opportunity for you to have a kangaroo cuddle I am so sure it would help settle her vital signs down quite apart from anything else. I am glad you seem to have some supportive nurses around you.

Hello ladies having a lazy day today got up at 10.30am feels fab.

Welcome to Mummato4 when is your baby due?

JW great news about Katherine and big hugs to you all. Massive SLAP to the ex.

This breast pump sounds good I am thinking of getting an electric pump but no nothing about them anyone got any advice?

Right ready for a rant

Went to see mw yesterday everything is well nothing wrong at all so why do I always leave feeling inadequate and OLD noone has ever said well done how fantastic being pregnant at your age and being so fit and well oh no there has to be a comment about something my blood presure is the high end of average what the f=ck is average then for a 46yr old woman stressed at the mw appt waiting to hear what negative crap she will come out with this time. Are you ready for this ladies my bp was 120/70 now I am not a medic but I do not think that there was any need to comment at all maybe I am being oversensitive or just going mad due to my old age.

rant over for now.

Rosebury - Wikepedia states that anything between 110 -140 over 70 - 90, is normal. Your bp therefore looks 'normal'. If in the US however, they like the top number to be no more than 120 - is your mw American?

TummyTrouble thankyou so what the f-ck was she on about then, no she is not American she is English and due to retire this year and to top it all the baby is due on her birthday.

Rosebury, mine has been that figure in this pg and my mw always says she is happy with it cos she know I have been running round like a headless chicken to get the the mw appointment. I have a mw appoint on Monday and I'm going to take ds to hear the heart beat, he is getting very frustrated cos he hasn't felt the baby move but daddy has. The LO only seems to do big movemnet when ds is asleep and I'm not planing to wake him up to feel.
JohnW - the ex sounds like a right old bag. My firnd is having a custody battle with her ex at the moment and the things he write down about her are just so horrid. Well done to Katherine for piling on the weight.