Pregnant, 40+ and Proud: Fabulous Mummies Sign Up Here!

[Takenoprisoners]

Following Ms Dynamo's wonderful news of her pregnancy and all the rest of us who are coming out of the woodwork ...a new, morale-boosting thread for those of us in our 40s currently going through pregnancy.

Come on, sign up: we are 40+ and FABULOUSLY PREGNANT!!!

Muchoes respectos Johnworf! And here was I thinking my 7 year gap was yawning! My sis had a 10 year gap and her two big ones adore and are very close to her youngest dd. I think it can work out brilliantly.

Good afternoon fabulous forties!

The age gap for me will be just over 5 years, not what I planned, but just the way things worked out, conceiving in your 40s can take a little while....

My 12 week scan is next Monday, I will of course let you all know how it goes.

I friend of mine conceived naturally at 42 but she was taking all sorts of supplments, something called DHEA I think

Does anyone else feel vaguely embarrassed about being pregnant in your 40s?

I am convinced that some of the 20 something Mums at the school gates think that no one has s@x over 40!!!

I've read about DHEA - it's a male growth hormone. It is meant to be great for improving egg quality in older women.
However it's not legal in this country - although you can buy it online.
Very encouraging to hear about all you 40+ mums to be.
I have had all my hormone levels checked and all was fine and also had a scan to check ovaries and womb and, again, all fine.
My OH is 10 years younger so hopefully his young sperm will make up for my hard boiled eggs !

minniethemoocher I don't feel at all embarrassed being pregnant and in my forties. I let my older kids do that for me

Seriously, they are fascinated in a 'try and not look too interested' way. I think what you said about anyone over 40 - let alone your own MOTHER - having sex is just yuck!

My consultant asked me if I was a grandmother yet as my oldest is 22....not a bloomin chance I told her

I don't really think of the age gap that much as my kids are virtually grown up now. However we do have my husbands DSS living with us full time who is 8 yo. I think he bridges the gap nicely.

Good luck for your scan on Monday minniethemoocher nancy66* I assume from what you wrote that you're TTC? Good luck if you are and take heart that us old dogs have LOTS of life left in us!

Johnworf LOL re sex in 40s!

Minniem, all the best for your scan on Monday. And yes I DO feel a little embarrassed at being pg in my 40s, although it is fairly common in my part of the world! But I'm getting used to it. I would have another baby years ago if I could have but beggars can't be choosers, I'll take what I can get.

Good luck Nancy66 and great that you've had the all clear.

My bump is starting to show enough for people to guess at the school gates. A lovely mother looked at my tummy for ages today and then up at my face, back to tummy and I said Yes! to put her out of her misery. Very funny.

Oh dear no sex over 40 well we have all been naughty then!!!!
Taken prisoner in rely to morning sickness I found no remedy . I could not even think about any more ginger.I tried small and frequent , dry and flat coke I read every thread and more on it. I found that whilst eating specy foods helped but and hour later I regretted it. Am moving out of it now but I really want strong flavours or cucumber ..Had none of this 1st time round.
Good luck to those TTC.

Ipanemagirl - I am looking forward to having a bump, no sign of one at 12 weeks yet, not even a bulge.

I can just picture people's faces when I do start to show, very funny!

I think that we probably all need a good sense of human to be pregnant in our 40s.

Nancy - yes, I don't know where my friend got it, she had numerous failed IVF cycles, used the DHEA and bingo!

johnworf - had to laugh at the idea of MW asking if you were a pregnant granny! But I am sure that some 20 somethings think that life ends at 40, little do they know....

Ooo just got my computer back (dp ran off with it for the day....*trauma!) and there are even more of us 40 somethings....we're out there and breeding! Saw consultant today and definately booked for C-section on 30th May ...soo excited.

Nancy66....yes I concieved naturally - no tips, except my partner is also younger(7 years) and he reckons it's younger sperm that crack older eggs! Have to say I was undergoing tests for menopause.....so we'd thrown caution to the wind and were just out to enjoy ourselves....maybe that's the secret?!

I've yet to encounter any school gate younger-mums-mafia as dd is too young. But where I live it's more likely to be disappoving glances because you're not sat in a huge 4-wheel drive, looking like Mrs Pontipine driving her 8 kids around - or that you're not carrying the latest designer handbag!

Hats off to you johnworf...a 17 year gap.....ha ha ha that really is taking the notion of embarrasing your kids to fabulous new heights! Well done you...hope it's all going well.

Good luck for monday MinnieM.

I am suffering dreadful morning (noon and night) sickness, I have lost half a stone so far and there is no sign of it improving, in fact the less I eat the less I want to eat...tried all the ginger type things, accupressure wrist bands, lemonade, crisps....

It is so much worse this time than I had with DD.

I was hoping that it would magically disappear at 12 weeks...

Thanks for the good luck wishes for Monday, I cant wait for my scan and will let you know how it goes!

hi minnie
i'm 41 with first and lost a stone in about 3 weeks with my sickness (was never actually sick though)
i'm now 20 weeks and still half a stone less than i was but it has eased alot
i got homeopathic tablets that i'm sure helped but was then told i shouldnt take anything homeopathic as they havent been through proper trials.
hi to all the other fab forty plus moms i've had no negative comments yet!
well apart from the now ex boyfriend !!
so i'll be a single mom at 42 !

sorry to hear you've been sick Minnie hope you feel better soon!

Welcome and congrats Lou222!

Minnie having a bump for me is such a relief, for weeks I reallly have just been looking like I hit the cake shop in a really determined way.

Also the kicking is such a relief. I've had an almighty time trying to believe that this pg was going to succeed so to be booted regularly from this fierce little passenger is just fabulous!!

Hope all have good week ends!

jeanjeannie interesting to hear you're also booked in for a C Section (I'm booked in for one sometime at the end of August cos of my b/p and gestational diabetes).

I'm having recurring nightmares about it! It'll be my first one.....what are your thoughts on it?

I've seen the op done and TBH it fills me with dread

Websites regarding CS aren't much help as they always end with something along the lines of 'major operation, small percentage of death'. GULP!

hides behind a cushion

If any of you ladies have already experienced one, care to share your thoughts? Always gratefully received.

I am likely to be a c-section too, because I had a very bad third degree tear last time, and I don't want to risk this baby making an entrance via my bottom and causing more damage and possible fecal incontinence.

I am also very scared about the procedure!

Hi im a lurker but this wonderful thread has prompted me to 'come out'. you are all so inspiring! can i ask how many of you conceived naturally? im forty and would love just one more.....

Come on over and huddle round johnworf and MinnieM....i shall tell you all about c-sections Don't worry, it's not all scary! Promise.

Mine was an emerg c-section....dd1 was 34 weeks and due to infection had to be induced and all was going well until her heart rate plummetted.

Had a spinal (no big deal) and the one thing I remember was there seemed to be a lot of people there....about 9 including dp looking hilarious in scrubs! It really is incredibly quick...I've been at the dentist longer and in more discomfort. Your dc arrives so quickly - within minutes of laying down....and then you're sooooo emotional and watching it and having a quick cuddle (dd had to go off to special care) that you just don't really recognise that they're getting on with stitching you up. yes, you feel a bit of tugging but not much. I also suddenly got a bad headache....told anaethestist and he gave me something and it was gone in seconds.

Worse points were after-care and lack of midwives understanding that you need help to move about. I sort of got left....and got dehydrated and without pain meds. I've since had a de-briefing about the shocking aftercare I got....and I'm assured it really shouldn't have been like that.

I won't lie - I found getting up for the first time utterly teeth-clenchingly painful. But it eased within hours and mobility was very quick to come back. Peeing is Ok once catheter is out (I was dreading that and it was fine) but having your first poo feels like you tummy will burst....hold a cushion or something against it. Having said that....I reckon it sounds worse if you've had stitches after a VB.

My top tips

Ask for help if you need it.

If you want to breastfeed - TELL them - or they'll often just bottle feed baby for you!

Keep on top of pain meds - don't be stoic.

Take extra pillows in....so nice to be more upright....and if you have a crescent shaped feeding pillow take that too - lovely against the scar...and for supporting baby.

Sorry for long post - if you've made it this far then well done!

jeanjeanie - thank you for the post, very useful tips! I remember having a laparoscopy done and coming home clutching a cushion to my tummy, it helped in the car, especially over the speed humps!

TBH there were mums in the hospital who had c-sections that were up and about walking better than me after DD was born, so I don't know why I am worrying really....just the though of being cut open....

I have to say ...I was up and about long before two of my NCT class who were having nightmares with their episiotomy stitches.

It's not being able to drive that annoyed me....but having said that....it made my DP much more helpful .

OOoo don't forget big knickers -not just big....HUGE!! By the time you've shoved in maternity pads (which take up room) you want to make sure that the scar is covered. El cheapo size 20+ from local market were just the ticket

Hi Fabulous Forties, including Johnworf, Lou222 and Sereneno. It's so good to read all the positive comments and support - really bucks me up. My bump is making me quite uncomfortable at the moment - wriggling and turning and kicking all the time. I think it alternates between frank breech and full-on transverse stretch, using up as much space as possible! How can I accommodate another 10 weeks of this, I wonder. I'm sure it wasn't this uncomfortable last time - and it's making me queasy, too ... oh well, I had a facial this morning in a bid to boost morale, but bump kept wriggling around under the blanket!

Count me in !

I'll be 41 by the time this one, #4, is born by c section(my fourth)

Still bf #3, who is 20 months.

luckily never had morning sickness...

looking forward to these kids keeping me young !

you gals are wonderful. I know I'll be hanging out here a lot over the next 8 months

Hi, was thrilled to see this thread. I had my first at 40 and am now 32 weeks pregnant with number 2 at 45! I conceived with the help of a specialist acupuncturist, for this baby. So far I feel much better than I expected, though sometimes v. tired, but am working and looking after a 4 year old. Feel great about being pregnant at my age, but before pregnancy often felt like a frumpy older mum as I always seem to be the oldest.Also possibility of CS but under general anaesthetic as my platelets are very low and they won't let me have spinal or epidural or any other intervention. I think its the GA that scares me the most. Love to you all

Hello all new to this thread fabulous 40s!!!

My nearly 20 week mystery passenger is kicking like crazy, dh think it's because match of the day is on!

I'm hitting the sack am exhausted today definitely need more sleep!

Good night all!

Hello all you fabulous 40+ mums-to-be. Just wanted to say hi, as I had my 2nd a couple of months ago at 41.

Reading all your comments has made me slightly broody and wondering if I could fit another one in .

To those of you having a cs, I had an elective cs this time round and it was a million times better than the emergency one the first time. It was so controlled and lovely (well as lovely as major surgery can be!), I was sitting up breastfeeding in the recovery room, and up and about the next morning. It was so much easier than the first. I recovered really quickly and easily, no complications, bf established well and had excellent care from the hospital staff.

I wish you all wonderful pregnancies and will pop in and see how you are getting on from time to time

Hello everyone!

Went to visit a birth unit yesterday and met a midwife. All the talk about birth made me feel queasy and a bit panicky. Think I had been putting that part of it to the back of my mind. Like you, purplegiraffe, I'd actually prefer to have an elective cs.

Don't like the idea of the catheter though jeanjeannie, yuck.

Hi everyone, this is my first posting . I'm 43 and 15 weeks with #3. I already have dd9 and dd6

Hi all you ladies (lots of us now it seems - yay!)

Just to go through some of the things that I've noted:-

a) I've already had an epidural with DD1 so I guessed that a spinal would be along those lines. Cathether wasn't a problem as they put it in when you're numb (if I remember rightly).

b) I've already had a 3rd degree tear on my last baby which is another reason I begged (yes I did) them for a CS on this one.

c) I take comfort in that the procedure itself won't be too bad but its the after bit I'm worried about. Can it possibly be any worse than a stitches up your bottom?? I doubt it.

d) I have one of those flabby bits that kinda hangs over on my tummy from previous babies and I'm worried it'll get infected underneath there if that is where they stitch me up.

e) What are these metal staples I hear they use to stitch you back up with nowadays?

f) Worried if I'll be able to breast feed with the scar. Already looked into a BF cushion to take to hospital with me.

g) Are those packs for CS any good. The ones you buy? They look like a bum bag but you can either put hot or cold packs inside them depending on what sort of comfort you are looking for. They rest over your scar and stop bumps as well.

h) Can you have pain relief while you're BF?

I) Worried that it's my 4th baby they'll just leave me to get on with it - like they did on my 3rd....when really I'll need help on this one.

Sorry this is such a long post and I've actually got a few more concerns. I know there isn't much I can do about them until/if they happen but I think getting a few possible answers before they happen can help any fears.

I must say, it's great to see so many ladies having babies at prime time. I really feel different toward this pregnancy...when I had my other 3 I was in my early twenties so ok, I'm not rushing around like I used to be I'm more laid back now.

As for conceiving naturally sereneno I had a MC about 18 months ago at 8 weeks (I was 40 then) and now I'm pregnant 20 weeks with this little tyke! I'm 41 now and will be 42 when I deliver. Both were conceived naturally. There is hope for us you know and 40 doesn't mean you're knackered and that's it!