Pregnant, 40+ and Proud: Fabulous Mummies Sign Up Here!

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Following Ms Dynamo's wonderful news of her pregnancy and all the rest of us who are coming out of the woodwork ...a new, morale-boosting thread for those of us in our 40s currently going through pregnancy.

Come on, sign up: we are 40+ and FABULOUSLY PREGNANT!!!

Congratulations Wahwah and Didoreth. Really great news and very confidence boosting for a scaredy-cat like me. But tell me, (when you have time), what made you so brave?!

Good news also louiseann. I can imagine the relief. My turn next Tuesday and my imagination is working overtime.

Sorry haven't been around for a few days. To be honest I had absolutely nothing to contribute either by way of information or entertainment! My sofa sojourn doesn't vary much from day to day and I don't feel very interesting.

Did any of you see that episode of Nip/Tuck where a woman has spent so long on her sofa that she's welded to it? They had to carry her to the hospital on the sofa. Well, c'est moi.

However, have been very glad to be able to read all of you (how selfish of me). Loving the poo stories.

Brief update - boobs still same size (pencils safe), little baby pile reappeared to join bleeding gums, sinuses and you-know-what (legacy of year spent eating nothing but beer and baguettes in France 20 years ago - back to bite me in the bum, literally).

On the good news front, baby now moving. Butterly-like exactly as you all said. Really lovely. If it did that all day I wouldn't care what else I was doing it's so lovely (is that really sappy?).

pwcbird that's very interesting. So they do exist and not up there in the myth section along with unicorns, elves and men that do housework?

I need to investigate this further. Not that I'm a snob and want to distance myself from the unwashed masses, just I think if I'm going to be in for a few days, I'd really like a bit of privacy and not have to listen to the lady in the next bed snore like a hog (Oh, I remember that from the last pregnancy).

Great to see you around again mrsjupiter and fab news that LO is making itself known to you It's lovely when you can feel them isn't it? Very reassuring too.

We could do a check list of the said joyous symptoms of pregnancy as my gums have been bleeding of late. And I've also had a few arse grapes too (sorry TMI I know even for me). My zits are doing splendidly. My skin could pass for a 14 year old who works in a chip shop. Oh, and I have two lovely varicose veins that have popped out on my right leg. I look a real treat. Lord only knows how my DH could even want to have sex with me again...mebbe he won't and then all my dreams really will come true Just joking ladies.........I think

mrsjupiter I meant to add, try lying on greaseproof paper or butter the cushions to avoid sticking to sofa .

Congratulations to Didoreth and well done.

Johnworf - I was on the antenatal ward last week and reading the maternity unit policies. They said that the only children allowed on any maternity wards were the mum's own children. So, hopefully you will be ok.

didoreth well done you many congratulations.

Have the ladies with sweaty under boobs tried drying under them with a hair dryer after a bath and applying baby talc and a preventative measure?. I'm a 36J pre pregnancy (heavens only knows what I am now) and this usually works for me to avoid sweat rashes. Also if your bra is not a good fit it will rub and cause a red rash.

John wolf my hospital also has a no children except the parents own, so maybe you need to check out about siblings. If they say big fat no to all kids then it is sounds like an invasion of you right to a family life!!! Throw the human rights act at them

Thanks LouiseAnn and hedgepig it sounds like a fair deal if your own children are allowed on the ward. I intend to find out when I next go to clinic. I'd find it hard to believe they wouldn't let siblings in.

As for sweaty boobs I've tried talc to no avail. I really need to get a bra fitting I think.

johnworf... I've heard of elves and unicorns... but men that do housework?? Now that can't be real. Once DH took command of the ironing and it was so incredibly painful for me to watch that it was like chinese torture. He probably did it on purpose . I know there are plenty of men who are thoroughly domesticated but mine, I'm afraid, is not. Though he is good with DS and bathing him and nappies and the like. I'm sure it was only about a year ago he stopped asking me if I had sugar in my tea he made it so little!

And on the private room thing - I am totally with you. It's not the people themselves on the ward, just the fact that everyone has their baby with them 24 hours so if one stops crying another one starts and the noise is endless. When I was in hospital we all just kept our curtains around us most of the time, which though was quite unfriendly, I just think you want a bit of privacy.

Love the idea of blow drying my boobies hedgepig. One presumes you do it on cool or they could be very pink I'm going to give it a go on my holiday.

Didoreth BRILLIANT News....You are a star What have you called littleD? Gosh, you and Wahwah set the bench high.

And Louiseann thats so nice - having a great scan sets you up on a high for ages.

Good to see you back mrsJupiter and how I envy you stuck to a sofa. I did that first time round...the TV remote was welded to my hand...a catheter would've been handy And NO, it doesn't sound sappy...its a gorgeous feeling those flappy sensations. I'd swap them now for the small feet currently under the ribs!

johnworf wailing with laughter at your bottom bubbles....I realised last night that a couple have popped out to say HI...I was mortified DP thinks its hilarious and will keep asing me how my piles are....
Yes, a list of things that make you look and feel gorgeous in pregnacy. For me it's been
Headaches, sickness, HEARTBURN!, fat ankles, dry hair, piles and backache...MMMmmmm sexy babe.

We don't have private wards at our maternity unit any more...grrrr. I was ready with the cheque book..but no, you're all in together. Seems harsh to ban the youngsters, although when I had dd the woman next to me had 14 (yes, I counted...14!) visitors, some who asked if they could sit on my bed....as they'd bought a take away and had nowhere to eat it... I kid you not...and not a midwife dared stand up to them. If it'd had been a nice Thai curry I may have let them...providing I got a helping!!

So - who's next to drop then.....??? Gulp...is it me?

pwcbird believe it or not but my GP suggested it but you are right not too hot.

johnworf the only thing about a private room is if they are very busy you may get overlooked (which you may want anyway) but after a cs for the 1st couple of days you will be less able to wander about and get help if you need it

Yeah that's a thought hedgepig. But I pretty much got overlooked on my 3rd anyway and this was one of the those long, open wards that no one seems to have these days. If I don't get a room of my own then I'll be in a bay of 4 (or 6) which isn't too bad. Only problem is (and I just KNOW this will come across as snobby), the area where my hospital is, is what you might call...hmm......a shithole in Manchester. So the 'client's' are somewhat....hmm...a bit like the vision I had of jeanjeannies 14 in the bed with a takeaway scenario .

I will have to see. If they have none well that's that isn't it. If they do, fabulous

Seems like children on the wards is a possibility so I need to investigate. Not at hospital until 3 June so will ask in clinic.

So funny last night, there I was sat on my derriere reading and LO starts her disco dancing. I shouted over the DH to come and have a little feel - knowing she ALWAYS stops when I do that. This time she didn't. DH jumped in the air, said 'ewwww, that is truly freaky' and retreated . As I pointed out, it was only her foot and she most def isn't a freak!

He's also promised to cook once a week in readiness for coming arrival and me being laid up. That means he takes us to the chip shop. I can't have chips so I make myself some toast. Any tips on housetraining?

Housetraining?..nah...my DP is way too feral for that! When I met him he had a cleaner....and now I've replaced her Mind you he CAN cook....he just DOESN'T cook!! My training tip would be to leave out take-away menus (with maps) of things you'd like to eat - that way you may get something other than toast.

Ah,johnworf sounds like the 'clients' at your local hospital are the same as mine. Actually we live in an odd place. Technically (according to the media) South Bucks is the best place to live in the UK - lifestyle, life expectancy etc....but then they forget to mention the biggest town in the area - High Wycombe - which is just strange. We're surrounded by shed loads of money (Marlow, Amersham, The Chalfonts, Gerrards Cross) but the town is just the complete opposite - poor, run down and considering it's only 25 miles from London - it may as well be 425 miles away !

Raining and it feels a bit of a relief from the heat - although annoyed as have baby-free day and can't face going out in the rain. Never satisfied me

Hello. We're a quiet lot today. I feel very groggy - don't know why.
I agree with you johnworf. You're not being snobby. I'm the same where I live. Mayday is a huge university hospital that covers a large area of south London and south London, as we all know from the news, has it's rather, err, rough areas! The wards are smaller now - I was in one of 4 beds but after 24 hours I was begging to go home. Not really because of the people, but just I hated being in hospital and the bathrooms were not very clean and I just wanted to go home to my own bath and my own loo and my own bed!
Note to all us ladies - pack antiseptic wipes in your bag for toilet visits. There were two toilets on our floor for all of us women who had just given birth. Ew! I read an article recently from a jounalist with 4 children who said basically it's the first thing she puts in her hospital bag.

Anyway - husbands/partners! Mine said the same thing - would cook once a week. He's so far done this twice. He can only cook 1 meal - a stir fry. I thought that I would train him to know how to cook a few dishes but it's so hard I give up. The only suggestion I would make is nearer the birth to cook up and freeze as much as you can. Then it's simply a case of defrosting and heating up.

pwcbird ah the Mayday - know it well. Lots of my friends have given birth there...and it's a mixed bag by the sounds of it. It does cover a huge, and like you say, very varied mix of areas. I used to live in Herne Hill and I have to say I long for a maternity unit like Kings, which was just round the corner. Now everyone who gave birth there that I know was always thrilled with the resources.

Antiseptic wipes are already packed as is a large stick to ward off any unwanted visitors straying onto my bed Actually it wasn't cleanliness that was the problem with Wycombe - it was 'crowd control' and getting the attention of any midwives...who all seemed to swarm around a desk and couldn't be prized away without moaning. After e c-sec I had to get my own meds...and call them to let them know when I needed IV anti-biotics!!

Think i'll stay on the sofa all day and cruise MN!

good idea jeanjeannie. I'm trying to load up a pile of stuff onto ebay to sell to get me some holiday spending money. So far done two items. Can't seem to get any motivation for anything going today.

I'm going to Kings next week for my scan as I'm an oldie so my GP referred me (and also because of probable cvs). Never been there before but I've never heard a bad account of it from anyone. Unlike my horror-giving-birth-at-Mayday story which I won't bore any of you with now. No worse than any others you read about in the Daily Mail and the like. Just under staffed, left alone for hours, didn't have a proper delivery bed and stroppy midwife who spent the little time that she was actually in the room with me on her mobile phone to her sister!!! And here I am going back there a second time. Just don't have any other valid choice as they're all just too far away when in labour. Oh well. At least I'll know more this time

Oh - to have had my CVS at Kings. We paid for Prof Nikolidies (sp?) who works out of Kings to do it at his private place in Harley Street. The man was a blinkin GOD! Laid back...funny and very pragmatic. Told us it 'didn't look good'....but 'that didn't mean it was bad'..! Turns out - after CVS that our 1 in 2 odds - were fine. Apparently my heavy bleeding/haemoragging in early pregnancy had probably contributed to a really bad blood test reading. And nuchal folds are sometimes just high.

Like you - I'm more prepared for the shocking after-care second time round. No timid me....I'm going to be a gobby, shouty, shouty monster if I want something - OR - I'll drag in 14 friends to cause havoc

Ebay eh? I would do that....but I can't be arsed to post the stuff off to people..tee hee!

I can honestly say that I'm at the hospital I'm booked into as it has such a good reputation. I've changed from the more local one I had the other 3 in as that is truly a dump. And the staff there all went to charm/finishing school. NOT!

I've already listed antiseptic wipes for my bag and those hand sprays in case I can't reach the ones on the wall. Apparently clothing with silver or washing in a silver solution can stop infection on your nightie/pjs/baby clothes so I might look into this. M&S sell silver thread pyjamas but they're about £45 (too dear) but very effective in combatting MRSA I hear. here and here are articles

Back to the DH cooking problem; he did agree to it and the first week I tried to show him how to cook spaghetti bolognese. I mean he's been a student, I thought he must know as all students do how to cook it. Nah, he lived on pasties, pot noodles and tinned soup for 3 years. Anyway, it was such a trauma to show him (yes, this big thing is a cooker dear)that in the end - after I put down the knife - I decided it was easier to do it myself (I think this was the whole point of the exercise for him). And like you pwcbird I've decided to do a big cook up, freeze the lot and then we won't starve whilst I'm in agony.

Btw my DH is one of those that if I'm at clinic say, he'll be sat there going 'oooh my back is killing me'. 'god, I'm so tired' etc. My friend was in stitches when she asked how are you doing (to me) and HE piped up 'well, back's still a big dodgy'!!!.

He knows his moment has been and passed, all 2 minutes of it and the rest of this baby is down to me now. Like most of you other ladies out there methinks

my DH can cook but leaves the kitchen like a bomb has hit it and doesn't menu plan to get ingredients etc whihc is 1/2 the work any way. Do you want me to send him round to give lessoans
Anyway must have a moan he said a classic this morning "we must put the dish washer on" after I cooked last nighted cled up the kitchen loaded the dishwasher and put it on AND he tured up the TV because the dishwasher was drowning out his TV programme! And to top it all I was horribly sick after dinner omlets are not good (I really thought the ms had finished pooey)

LMFAO. So funny. Not the being sick part just the sad tale of your DH. So familiar hedgepig.

Mine just leaves pots on top of dish washer and hopes they'll magic themselves into it. Hasn't figured out it has a door yet.

I like the royal we in your house! Spectacular!!

Don't get me on the subject of useless men around the house. So much for feminism eh? Mine offered to cook and look after me during my pg- results? One dinner in four weeks. If I was waiting for dinner number 2 I'd probably be dead by now.

On a brighter note, when I had a rant about me refusing to be a slave and fall into the role of domestic drudgery he mentioned getting a housekeeper. I know it sounds very posh and it probably is, I tried not to leap for joy and said OK, as though it was a tough compromise .

We'll see, like some other promises I won't hold my breath.

On the subject of hospitals, all three of mine in London are the bottom of the league.It's to do with the sheer numbers of people giving birth and the under resourced fascilities. Apparently my local hospital St Mary's in Paddington has to service an unprecidented huge intake of immigrants that aren't registered, or accounted for financially by the NHS, so it's all a bit out of control.

I'd probably be better off giving birth on a park bench.

msdynamo we've got a spare shed you can rent if you like. It's even got an old sun lounger in it.

I like the sound of a housekeeper. So does my husband and in his language 'wife' is that very thing.

I'm thinking about getting a cleaner in until the baby is a few months old as I just know the house will go to rack and ruin once I'm laid up. DH will not give a toss either. He'll very happily live in it, nay, not only live in it, be oblivious and happy in it too

This poor child will come home thinking Mr Treebus is her father

hahaha also laughing at our sweet, but domestically allergic other halves!

DP wants an au pair....I've said yes...so long as he's called Sven....or Lars..!!

We don't have much stuff...but what we do have does seem to be out on show all the time. Not sure what it is about us...but we're both useless at putting stuff away. I call it 'Flat Surface Syndrome'...if there's a flat, empty surface (table, chair, corner of sofa, stairs) then we'll put something on it...thus leading to an overall visual appearance within the house of utter chaos!

pwcbird & johnworf hats off to you both if you cook and freeze meals before the baby arrives. That's what I'm supposed to be doing today...pah...am knackered. Have backache a low slung period pains..(eek!!) so really can't summon up the energy - so it won't happen.

msdynamo - if midwives do visits to park benches then you probably are better off giving birth there

I'm loving this thread. Are all men the same? Are there no metrosexual men? Though, would we want one? DH beat his chest, congratulating himself on his virility when I got pregnant so quickly and now, it seems, he think his work is done! He doesn't know how to work the dishwasher, washing machine or oven. He loads the dishwasher (occasionally) and then I have to re-arrange it all. He moans because I put my foot down about mowing the lawn (though are garden is only smallish). He does put a pot of coffee on, on the weekends and will, very occasionally, make a sandwich though it is very much two slices of bread with a thick chunk of cheese in the middle and not cut into nice quarters or anything.
And as for when I gave birth to DS. He basically fell asleep (as it was a night birth) in the chair or complained of being hungry.
Saturday is supposed to be my lie-in day when he gets up for DS. When I get up (usually about 8.30 so not exactly lunchtime) every single toy/book/ball/everything is out on the floor. Despair!
However... must try and give good points too. He is letting me be a SAHM even though money is tight because I wanted to be with DS and new baby until nursery/school. He's being traditional bringing home the money man and he works hard and doesn't moan about it (well not too much). Though, saying that, he does sometimes say 'well it's your JOB' when I gripe about the fact that my day is 15 hours long after putting DS to bed and then making dinner and clearing up etc.
Oooh.. I could go on forever

MY DP fell asleep during labour too! In the chair, in the corner of the room (clutching a very old copy of 'guide to obstetrics 1878..! I kid you not) When he woke, he got all uppity - as I was busy signing a form and he was shouting, "what? what? when did we agree to move onto a c-section...??!"

Ah - actually he's a lamb really. He makes a cracking coffee most mornings and drags DD out of cot and takes her downstairs. And it's me that usually loads dishwasher wrong - well, it's the first one I've ever had

Considering he's a builder/carpenter and not a sniff of metrosexuality about his appearance (although he does listen gaydar on his DAB radio!!) he is actually not too bad. And, like you pwcbird I am able to do the SAHM although it's tight for £££ .

He said the other day is dream job would be to present Boogie Beebies....he's very good at fooling around...and to get paid for it -well, that'd be a bonus

I'm just gonna write 'ditto' underneath everything you two gals have just wrote

They're all the same and we all still fall for them. Heck, we even have their offspring!!

jeanjeannie have you set yourself off in labour climbing onto your soap box? Get off quick and let someone else have a go.

I think you can either plump for my shed or pwcbird's park bench. I'll run for towels...

I'm up to my ears in shampoo and conditioner today as we have some new product lines to sell. I was excited at first but it's worn off now......I need a distraction and the fridge is just calling me.........

hahaha....oh God NO...I need my lovely planned c-section!

I'm off to dye eyebrows