Due March 2025 thread 2

[Zuzu2020]

Hi guys just making a new thread as the old one is nearly full :)

18 weeks on Sunday and feeling really quite anxious again. I think because I feel movement some days and then go days with nothing which probably doesn't help. No symptoms still either. 20 week scan is in 2 weeks so also nervous about that. Does it ever stop??!! Why am I litterally convinced 24/7 that something is/will be wrong. Is anyone else like this?

I did have a c section last time so slightly different to you. My first was planned as she was breach all the way until 36 weeks when she suddenly decided to engage. By that point I had done no mental prep for a natural labour and basically begged for my c section as planned.
This time I've spoken to a consultant already and insisted that I want another c section as the though of going into labour or having an induction genuinely terrifies me (serious fear of the unknown). My planned section was so lovely and it gives an element of control over things. Now I'll have a toddler at home so more reason to know when/how it's all going to happen. I don't think they can refuse it, but they will give you all the pros and cons of each option (which is all the pros of natural and cons of a section) to put you off if they can.

I've given it a bit of thought; knee jerk reaction is that I'd like to try the birth centre (so no epidural available), but very open to changing my mind in the moment! And also considering whether I'd rather skip all induction and go straight to a planned section if I've not gone into spontaneous labour by X date. But as it's my first baby feel I still have a lot of research to do!
On this note I've just bought the Hypnobirthing Pack from Positive Birth Company as it's on half price this weekend for £22.50, if anyone else was considering and looking for a bargain! Aware it has mixed reviews around creating unrealistic expectations, but I think some of the techniques do probably have a place, and going into it with a healthy dose of cynicism!

I took the hypnobirthing too far and slept through 20 hours of my 22 hour labour - my one suggestion is to actually try stay awake if you go for it …

and they are right that a lot of the pain is mental - I literally refused to push because I was waiting for the pain that never came? Periods are so much worse (or at least mine are!)

If I can’t sort the child care for a home birth, then a birthing centre will be my second choice - are you going to go have a tour? I like the fact no one is going to try come at you with those hormones (anything that has that sort of impact on the brain chemicals of a newborn baby terrifies me!)

The sleeping sounds great, what a way to do it!
I'm a bit of a glutton for punishment, big exerciser, into tough classes and pushing myself and all that, so I feel like it could be the ultimate HIIT class 😂And I've spent a lot of years already in a 'you can do anything for a minute at a time' mentality so like to think I've got the potential to get through it...but might be promptly brought back down to earth!

I've not thought too much about doing a tour, but I think it probably is a good idea - I like to know where I'm going etc, so would probably benefit from it already being a bit familiar. A few people I know that have used our local one say it's really fab.
Did you have your first in the birth centre?

Hi @wildhay I'm so sorry, it is such a stressful time.
Yes, we got a call 2 days after our tests to say we were 1 in 43. It totally floored me tbh. I opted for an NIPT test, and it took a week to come back (which honestly felt like the longest week ever) and it showed lower risk. I am keeping my fingers crossed for you.

Yup! Worry so much. I ended up going to my midwife the other day as my movements had stopped. I know at this point they’re inconsistent but couldn’t shake off the anxiety and she was happy to check their heart for me (feel so lucky to have a nice midwife!). I decided to get an at home Doppler but kinda wish I hadn’t because it’s not massively easy to find the heart beat and when I do I then worry it’s the placenta I’ve heard and not the heart. So don’t actually find it reassuring as I hoped 😒
For me I just keep trying to reassure myself, challenge my thoughts and distract myself but ruminative thoughts really are the worst!

Thank you, I'm sorry you also went through this, the wait is agonising!
Did they explain why your results were initially higher risk after the NIPT came back low ?

@GlitteringCat how many weeks are you? I think they'd probably just tell me to get lost if I contacted them haha. There not the best where I am. Do you have a specific contact number for your midwife? I met mine at the 16 week appointment but wasn't given any contact for her specifically so would have to call the office and speak to a random. I had a scan just over a week ago and he was fine it's just the anxiety isn't it! I'm thinking of booking another but just got back from holiday and the meet and greet company we used for parking crashed my car and it's undriveable for the foreseeable and will be sent to a garage. 4 hours drive home in a taxi after waiting in the cold for 3 hours yippee (sarcasm) so I can't get anywhere anyway now as I live in the middle of a field miles away from a taxi rank and busses🙉 let the anxiety commence🤣

18 weeks. I’d got a bit stressed as I’d got movement every day at the same time and then nothing for 3 days. Her heart sounded absolutely fine though and now think I hadn’t noticed it possibly as I was off work and not just sat at a desk. I have a mobile number for my midwife and just text her if I have any questions/ issues which seems standard for my area. I think I’ve ended up lucky with my midwife as EPU would probably have just told me to sod off 😂
It’s hard with the anxiety though! And I find I keep seeing posts come up about late loss which doesn’t help. Just have to tell ourselves that there’s no reason to think anything is wrong tho! It’s just that horrible voice in the back of the head.

@Wildhay they said we were calculated as high risk based on my age (41), our HCG scores and NT measurement, which were all high based on their ranges. Good luck... I hope you can do something nice this weekend to try to distract yourself from the wait. Easier said than done, I know.

Had my next midwife appointment today, and had my first listen to the heartbeat! Wasn't expecting that

I think it sounded like a train, DH hooves (based on the old wives tale)

Everyone I've asked thinks I'm having a girl!

Not felt anything yet, bar POSSIBLY the slightest thing when trying to get to sleep last night but may have been imagining it however midwife said it can be around 20 weeks before you feel anything with your first

Re the fact it's got to come out somehow? Trying not to think about that!! I don't do pain very well and struggle with period pain!

I do know I want to go to the main hospital, the non a and e hospital is refurbing the midwife unit, so I was interested but asked if they can do emergencies, they can't and as I fret, I'd rather be somewhere that can handle it on site rather than having to be rushed to another hospital

@IMBCRound2 it sounds like your hypnobirthing training worked very well! Did you also use the positive birth company?

Does anyone have any recommendations for hypnobirthing courses? This is my first and I want to do hypnobirthing / build up my mental resilience...

@m00ngirl I used PBC in my first pregnancy too. My husband and I used to watch the videos together. (There are sections about your birth partner being "keeper of the cave" I think it was- and how they can best support and advocate for you).
Id recommend it. Especially if half price! My sister bought it for me after using it herself. Xx

@Onthedouble123 brill thank you, I've just bought it, will get going on it after the 20w scan and let you know how I get on x

Had anyone else had their whooping cough jab yet? I had mine on Thursday at my midwife appointment and my arm is still so sore through the night. Having it done was fine and it's overall not bad but lying on it in bed (as I turn over 300 times a night like a rotisserie chicken trying to keep off my back...) is making my whole arm ache 😒
I've read it's one of the worst ones, and partly because it's got extra things in and it's actually the tetanus element that makes it to sore...
Just here to moan about it really!

@lipgoss I haven't been offered whooping jab yet as apparently I need it around 24-27w so to early atm?

NHS says ideally at 20 weeks, but you can have it from 16 (or later - seems that any time is better than not at all!) - I was 17 at my appointment, and they had someone available to give it to me there and then so I just went ahead. Must be another of these things that vary from place to place!
I'm booked for a flu jab in a couple of weeks, as we're going away at the start of November so I'm keen to have it in time for it to be effective before then, and then my midwife said RSV is at 28 weeks. Starting to feel quite pin cushiony!

@lipgoss are you having the rsv? I'm sure I'll get the whooping cough and flu jab. Unsure on rsv as I don't know anyone who's had it to get some reassurance from..

@Ellsx6 Yes, I'm intending to - I'm very trusting of the scientists 😂 But in all seriousness I'm not worried about the safety of vaccinations overall, so it makes sense to me, especially with being pregnant/our babies being born still in winter bug season (I'm in Edinburgh so likely to still be v wintery in March!) and having heard so much about really nasty RSV cases recently.

If it’s worth anything, my baby nephew almost died of RSV when he was a few days old and had to spend 10 days in NICU. It’s been tested over and over again and safe for pregnant women, otherwise the NHS wouldn’t offer it and endanger babies. Anyone that’s seen the effects of RSV on an infant wouldn’t hesitate to take such an important vaccine.

Sorry edited to add, this is meant to be in reply to @Ellsx6 - I agree with you here @lipgoss and also trust scientists. RSV is not to be underestimated and can be serious to babies.

I had it a few weeks ago at my 16 week appointment. My arm was fine for the first 12 hours so I was lured into a false sense of security lol! I’d say it took a good 5 days for muscle pain to pass. I must admit though the actual injection didn’t hurt and didn’t get any fluey side effects like with Covid and flu vaccines which I find more annoying than muscle pain.

@GlitteringCat Glad to hear it's not just me being dramatic! All sounds exactly the same, so I'll look forward to it passing soon 😀

Vaccines are the best ♥️♥️♥️

bit confused as I’ve been offered my RSV when I’m only 22 weeks - I think my gp likes to do vaccine clinics because I was only offered one date. Hoping they’ll be able to offer me a later one.

Has anyone managed to get their Covid booster? I work with children and they are grubby little plague vectors

I had my whooping cough and flu jabs together on Wednesday at the GP (she checked I was over 16 weeks for whooping cough as my hospital usually does them with 20wk scan but I thought I'd get it over with) and my arm was sore until yesterday. Definitely going to have RSV, a friend's baby ended up in NICU with it, very scary. Also I think we'll be offered a covid booster too.