Due February 2025 - Thread 3

[UrbanSquirrel]

Following on from the two existing threads, welcoming all the intrepid ladies due in February, for further excellent support 🤗

Morning! Sorry to hear about the positive GD tests and aches & pains. Quite the strain bodies go through in pregnancy!
@Redapple21 sorry to hear it is making you tearful :( understanding when it is so sore and you don't know if you will get any relief from it. I have some pubic bone pain so got a physio referral for this Wed, but I am thinking of cancelling it with the other stuff going on, plus I am not super mobile atm so aggravating it less. But when I was talking to the midwife about it she was saying how sore it can get and basically advised taking paracetamol around the clock. Might want to see if there is any other relief you can get? A girl in work had it also and she said the physio was good, they gave her a belt type thing to wear to relieve some of the tension being applied to the pelvis. I am sure if it is so sore you aren't sleeping well that is just making it all a million times worse. I can definitely feel my mood drop atm when I don't sleep. You might even be able to get something to help you sleep if it is really bad, ask and see and fingers crossed you get some relief :)

Speaking of mood - maybe one for the mums already, but at what point did you really feel you bonded with baby, was it after birth?
I am struggling atm with my headspace, can't relax and am worried about how close I feel to the baby, is it not close enough etc. I guess honestly it still feels surreal being pregnant. I have OCD and the type of OCD I have is intrusive thoughts so I also don't know if some of these concerns are partly my OCD or if they are normal pregnancy anxiety.

@SBelfast I think most people will have some sort of maternal bond with baby before it's born, obviously a level of concern etc. But from experience, it's nothing like the connection you have when baby arrives. Obviously, there are some that struggle to feel that initial bond, and not everyone experiences the often discussed rush of intense feelings when they meet their baby but that doesn't make a person any less than, and I don't believe it inhibits their instinct or drive to care for their baby.

It's hard to bond with a person you've not met yet, you don't know anything about, how they look, what they like etc. but when they're here, and they develop in to an actual little person you can relate to it's far easier. This is why so many Dad's don't have the same feelings about preganancy, because they're not experiencing any of it, and it isn't until they have a 'real' baby to hold and see that they can begin to build that relationship.

Of course, do speak with your midwife if you're feeling you need some extra support.

Hi @SBelfast, I have been lurking on this thread for a while but piping up in response to your post. You essentially have a complete stranger inside you - I am pregnant with my third and am acutely aware of this now more than ever. I think bonding during pregnancy depends on lots of factors and it varies for each person, each time. There is no rule. The fact you are even worrying about it though, shows how much you care. When your baby is born you will get to know them slowly and it will completely different to how it feels now. My bond with my second grew over time after he was born, partly because I was so worried about the impact on my first born during pregnancy and partly because having had one baby already, I realised how little I knew about my second baby when he arrived. I had a rocky start to this pregnancy as it was unplanned, but now I’ve got my head round it (it took a while!) I feel so much more relaxed because I know I have the capacity to love a third baby equally and getting to know them will take a bit of time. And that’s ok.

In terms of the OCD and intrusive thoughts, that is something so incredibly difficult to deal with and talking about it requires real bravery and strength. Midwives will have dealt with it lots of times before and will know where you can find extra help with it if you need it before or after baby is born. Xx

@SBelfast I don’t feel bonded with this baby at all, mainly because I think my focus is on DD, but when I was pregnant with her, I didn’t feel particularly bonded to her either. I didn’t speak to my bump or anything (and felt quite embarrassed at the suggestion!) but cared in an “I hope everything is okay” type way.

When she was born, I didn’t get the immediate rush of love (possibly due to the circumstances of her birth but possibly not!) but I did feel a sort of companionship with her, and I loved her in a sort of “you’ve always been with me” type of way. The rush of love came later (and still comes in waves that really take me aback, especially at the minute!).

I went to pregnancy yoga with my first and a lot of people there said they didn’t feel
particularly bonded to their baby until well after the birth, so please don’t worry :)

@SBelfast ah thank you, that's good that your friend in work said the physio helped! I'm going on Monday so will report back how it goes. Totally understand you thinking of giving it a miss, especially if you're resting more, as it's definitely all the walking and moving around that aggravates it as others have said too!
Thanks ladies for the solidarity!

Also I would say I think a lot of women don't really bond properly with the baby until it's born, and even then it doesn't always happen right away. As a few people have said, you have to get to know your baby! Obviously you care for their welfare but this rush of love that some people talk about certainly doesn't happen for everyone. I had quite a traumatic birth and was so exhausted after I remember thinking 'how can I look after this baby when I'm so tired'. Your body goes through massive hormonal changes and don't worry if it takes you time to really build a bond. Everyone will have a different experience xx

Thank-you @Lidlisthebusiness @sohomum18 @retrievermum @Redapple21 really helpful to read your messages, most appreciated.
Feel more comfortable how I am feeling is pretty normal, and I do worry about the baby so I guess that is a sign I care! :)
Will speak to midwife about it also and keep a close eye on mood just to keep on top of it potentially dipping with the OCD plus everything else :)

Hope everyone is having a great Sunday so far and looking forward to a new week!

I have been feeling PGP too - in my left hip socket. It's worse when I walk moderate distances and often I am limping around. It's awful when you have a small child you need to chase around and pick up after too. 😭

I had a PGP physio appointment in my first trimester so I'll have to go back and look at that.

Re maternal bonds, I would echo I didn't feel that immediate rush of feeling, more of a feeling of caring and responsibility. I'm having a planned cesarean this time, having had an emergency one the first time. Now that I know what to expect I wonder if it will feel any different. I feel love for my bump now, same as the first, but I also agree that I don't have as much time to think about it now. I do enjoy moments when I'm sitting quietly and feeling her move though.

Dear me I had around 53 messages to read! I've been so disconnected lately.

I'm glad to read @SBelfast you are back home but sorry to hear about your hip problems. About bonding, I'd say as others have said about not to worry to much. I have the same feeling about worrying about her but at the same time makes me blush to talk to my belly (I feel as talking to my foot but is bigger and rounder. Lol) so, I hope having the love bonding after I meet her. I've worried a lot in general with this pregnancy (because it's the first, because I'm far away of family and friends and feel quite alone and scared, and also because I had high chances of Down Syndrome and went through the Amnio) so, I couldn't enjoy as much as other ppl have said to me. So, no worry so much as long as you meet your baby hopefully the bond would start then. 😘❤️

@UrbanSquirrel i'm sorry to hear about your result about the glucose test. One of my friends and one of my sister-in-law has got it and after the baby were born it went away. It's a pain but think it's not the end of the world. And you seem a very strong person so, you'll be fine. I'm right now in the hospital waiting for the end of the 2h after drinking the "magic potion" of glucose. In my case they referred to me because I'm Spaniard (Mediterranean ethnicity) sooooo here I am. I'll let you know soon if I'm joining your club and see the chocolate biscuits and mince pies from away. I brought some tasty Spanish Christmas treats for Christmas (as we cannot fly there this year) and I might see my bf eating them, so no high hopes just in case. 😅

Thanks for the shared lists!!! (sorry I cannot remember who did them) but you have my thanks.

Btw, any idea of what you have to pack for the D day? I mean mainly for you. I heard here you can be discharge after hours of having the baby (in Spain is around a day or 2. They make sure both of you are completely OK and nothing has suddenly change in the first 24/48h on your baby. So, normally there they give you a list of everything you are expected to bring for these days) in here the midwife haven't said anything and I'm not sure how much should I pack.

About baby names, is still someone struggling about it?? We haven't decided for any yet. Non in the list gives us the sparkle of "This is The name". We have reduced the list so far to Yuna, Dianna and Nyx (quite unusual, not so much Dianna, though) but I've read hundreds of them from lists from around the globe and I cannot find any good enough. I don't know. I'm very indecisive I guess.

Oh gosh, good luck @Piluka. I hope for your sake that you don't have it - as you say, it's just a bit of a pain and requires you to think even more about what you're eating. (This morning, for example, I found out that Weetabix is the Food Of The Devil for blood sugar, as far as I'm concerned. Who knew?!) I also remember your previous experience of being a colander and I worry that you might get the same feeling if you have to fire a needle into your finger to test yourself four times a day 😜

I just had to go to the pharmacy to pick up my sharps bin (SO glamorous), and the pharmacist said that she sees so many women with gestational diabetes at the moment, so I feel partly reassured that those of us in the GD Club are merely a fraction of a much bigger (slightly annoyed) sisterhood.

@Piluka you asked about hospital bags. I've already started on mine - because I'm never happy unless I'm organising or planning something 😜 - and I'm using this list as a basis:

www.nhs.uk/start-for-life/pregnancy/preparing-for-labour-and-birth/hospital-bag-checklist/

I'm taking sleepsuits in newborn size and 'up to 1 month' size because I don't know how big MiniSquirrel will be. She's still measuring at the 90th percentile, sturdy little thing that she is... I've also got packs of Pampers in size 0 and size 1, just in case, and some extremely exciting Lil-Lets maternity pads for me. Happy to share the list in fuller detail further down the line - and would hope others can do the same so we can all make sure we haven't missed something crucial.

On which note, a question for those experienced in formula feeding. I'm going to take some ready made bottles of first milk (Aptamil, probably, because they're easiest to get hold of). Roughly how many do you think I'll get through per day in the hospital? And how long do they last unopened? As in, can I buy them now for use in late January, or do I need to get them closer to the time?

Thanks all! x

Oh, and to add, @Piluka, I have had to bequeath my Cadbury's advent calendar to my husband, and am very grumpy about it. I very much hope you won't be denied your Spanish treats. I am considering getting the Playmobil Pirates advent calendar for myself instead, so that I have something entertaining to open (under the pretence of helping to build up MiniSquirrel's future toy collection). Yes, I have the mental age of a 5 year old... 😂

I reckon you should keep the advent calendar @UrbanSquirrel! maybe see how it does for your blood sugars but I’ve read / seen so far that a v small treat like that a day does you no harm!

I also subscribed to the GDUK recipes section and made the yummy chocolate brownies on there last night and again absolutely fine. So there is hope!!

Ooh yes @Cheeseandcrackers123 I found they had a cheese scones recipe on there, and made some yesterday, and I can't tell you how happy it made me. No idea how they affect me - I'm using them as snacks so I don't have to test - but the presence of cheese scones somehow makes life a lot more bearable 😂

On the advent calendar issue, @Cheeseandcrackers123, I'll have a ponder. I would certainly appreciate it more 😜 DH worked in Brussels for a year some time ago and can occasionally be slightly superior about Cadbury's ("Of course, you know that in Europe this isn't actually classed as chocolate, right?"). To which my answer has traditionally been, "Really? How fascinating. Guess I'll have this bag of chocolate buttons to myself then."

He soon comes round...

@Piluka I'm feeling the same about the name. We have 1 girls name so far, but I'd prefer to have a couple more. I have 1 boys name that I love, but my husband isn't a fan, so at the moment that leaves us nameless if it's a boy. Having used 10 names previously, it's hard to find something else we both love as much as the ones we've already got!

As far as hospital bags go, I've never taken too much, but I've seen others take in wheeled suitcases!
For you:
*Something comfortable to labour and birth in.
*Water bottle.
*Snacks (I've never been able to eat during, but others obviously do.)
*Maternity pads.
*Comfortable underwear.
*Comfortable outfit to leave hospital in.
*Nightdress or PJ'S.
*Breast pads and bras, nursing ones of you're BFing.
*Phone charger.
*Laptop and charger. We watched a film whilst I was in labour last time.
*Washbag and anything you would usually have in it. Try to avoid scents, as baby wants to smell you, not perfume.

For baby:
*Nappies, in 0 and 1.
*Bodysuit/Sleepsuit x 3
*Car Seat.
*Cotton wool pleat or Wipes.
*Other outfit to leave hospital in, if not in a sleepsuit.
*Blanket
*Muslins
*Hat. Although the hospital have always given us one.

If you're in longer than a few hours, your husband can always just bring in anything extra you might need.

I'm not sure how it works if you plan on bottle feeding, so maybe Google what is suggested for that.

@Lidlisthebusiness I'm still trying to remember exactly who is who between Facebook and here, but if you're who I think you are, you could always go for the easy girl option and just have Freya #3 and call her Mini Freya? 😜 x

With the bottles you take into hospital, they generally have ok dates on but if ordering online there's a chance you may get some with short use by dates so may be best looking in shops or waiting if ordering online. It's really hard to know how many too, I'll probably take 2 boxes (not sure how I'm going to feed) then husband can always get more. They only need a tiny bit when born so sometimes they get wasted.

I really need to start thinking about hospital bag list, I'm 30 weeks tomorrow and time seems to be ebbing away!

@UrbanSquirrel you made me laugh with 'Minidquirrel' I think is very cute. We call her littlemouse to call her somehow.

I didn't know about weetabix they are devils in disguise. I eat them thinking they are healthy. Bunch of b*stards they are hahaha. I have bad veins so today I ended up with 4 bruises already for the blood samples.... My colander look is back. Hahaha.

I like your playmobil advent calendar idea. I prefer Lego, though.

Thanks for the website link and as well thanks to @Lidlisthebusiness for your list. :) I feel I'm not going to have enough room for everything I need to buy. I'll need another house, lol.

I took a full suitcase when I went in to have DD, most of it was nappies and snacks!

I’ve heard to take mints, as when you’re in labour it can help focus your senses a bit when you’re in pain, so they’re definitely on my list this time!

On hospital bags, here are things I'm taking for labour this time that I didn't last time / learned from last time:

• button down nightdress - I ended up with an EMCS and catheter so didn't get changed out of my hospital gown for a day or so. This time I'm packing stuff that my husband can help me change into for after

• plenty of newborn sleepsuits - last time I took 0-3 but despite my baby being over 8lbs they were all too big! Taking the small ones this time

• pre-made formula - I did take this the last time, and will be taking it again. I got lucky when I buzzed to ask for some with a lovely HCP who fed / burped / settled baby so I could sleep, but a friend had a different experience with a judgy midwife. I'll be taking it again so I can control if I give it or not, even though my hospital offers it.

• going to try not to take too many bags - the last time we had hundreds and the bays on the ward were really small, made it difficult trying to get around the bed

@Piluka we're not close to picking a name either. I really wanted Apolonia, but my husband is not so keen. He likes Marlena or Ada, both of which I like (I suggested both), but I'm with you - none of them feel like 'the one'!

I'm starting to suspect that feeling might be a myth though; when we bought our house, I thought I'd know, 'yes, this is the house' - but instead the feeling was more like, 'this is fine'. 😅🤷 Probably going to be the same for a baby name.

I have a more complicated pancreas story but I am lucky to have a libre reader.
For anyone with gestational diabetes I’m happy to give some food tips that don’t make spikes on my reader…
@Piluka cereal and bread will be the devil. Plain chocolate is your dream - wispa or twirl make barely no spike in my sugar. Scones are a nightmare. Fruit juice is a nightmare. Berries are good!
Eat your carbs with fat or protein and the spike is much less.
steak and chips is great!

@UncharteredWaters Feel I have to defend the cheese scones from the Gestational Diabetes website - no spikes here (yet)! 😜

Wholemeal bread and wholewheat pasta OK for me so far. Testing brown basmati rice this evening 😂

But then it seems as though we all respond slightly differently. But I am SO MUCH hoping that I have the same reaction to Wispas as you do...

@QuantumPanic @Piluka if it helps, with my daughter we had a name that we’d vaguely discussed liking (we were so sure she was a boy!) and when she was born we were kind of like “…this name then?”, and didn’t love it at all. Now it’s HERS, I think it’s the best name in the world!

Hoping it’s the same this time as we have a boy and girl front runner name but I don’t love either of them haha!

Wispas are my new best friend!!

Today I went for the growth scan. I would like to share this with you. She looks so relaxed there, I envy her 😂🤣 her thumb in her mouth and the other hand on top of her head. Apparently, she's on the 92 percentile. So, I'm wondering if that would indicated the GD??? However, my partner is quite tall... Who knows. Anyway, my fibroid (we called Richard) is still there annoying me and the baby's head is towards it, so, not fun for me. XD Apparently, she's moving her way to the 'right position' but not quite yet... We'll see.